~~~Jackson~~~
“Why, for the gods’ sake, couldn’t I speak to her this morning?” I demanded of Stephanie when I entered my office shortly after my encounter with Valerie at the bakery. As the Archon of Greenleaf and the surrounding communities, the office was where I was supposed to be throughout the week, but I’d only started keeping regular hours when Valerie agreed to come to Valeterra.
I jerked off the suit jacket I wore and slung it over the coat rack, ignoring Stephanie’s startled expression. She quietly followed me to my desk where I plopped down with a loud sigh.
Taking the seat opposite me, she said, “I take it the ‘her’ you’re referring to is Valerie?”
“Who else?” I snarled.
“So you finally met her?”
“Yes. Yesterday and again this morning.”
“Yesterday? You didn’t say anything about seeing her when we met yesterday.”
“I hadn’t met her when I last saw you. She was out on her balcony last night when I stepped out for a bit of fresh air. I hate that apartment by the way.”
“I can move you somewhere else, but you said you wanted to be as close to her as I could get you.”
“I know.” I was fighting an internal battle between two different instincts: the need to be with nature and the need to be with my mate.
“What were you saying about not being able to speak to her?” she asked, giving me a quizzical look.
“I don’t know. When I saw Valerie last night, we talked a little bit. But this morning, she approached me at the bakery, and I just stared at her like a fool.”
“If you spoke to her the night before, she knows you aren’t a fool.”
“I didn’t tell her who I was last night. Judging by our conversation this morning, she didn’t recognize me either. I forgot she doesn’t have our eyesight.”
“What did she say to you this morning?”
“She rambled on and on about how I didn’t have to pay for her stuff and that she would pay me back for everything. And she keeps putting herself down. Gods, that’s driving me insane. When she says things like that, she makes me want to smack her and kiss her at the same time. But I didn’t say anything to her. Why?”
“I don’t know. Were you ever that way with my sister?”
“No. With Alexis, I was the one who couldn’t shut up. With Valerie, though, her closeness seems to stun me into silence. Her smell, her aura struck me mute. Besides that, all the things that kept running through my head to say were inappropriate. Couple that with the wolf in me telling me all of the things I should be doing with her body while she spoke, I was terrified to open my mouth.”
“That was more information than I needed.”
Her playful look told me that my words didn’t disgust her.
“It’s the truth.”
“Those feelings and thoughts didn’t stop you last night, right?” she asked, growing serious.
“No. I had the emotions, but they didn’t render me mute.”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
After a long moment, I said, “I don’t know if I can do this. My need for Valerie is too strong. I’m scaring myself. How do you think she’ll react to me when she finds out she’s my mate?”
“I don’t know. I bet Valerie will be more accommodating than you think.”
“You honestly think so? She’s so fragile. Her medical file says she hasn’t been sexually active in years. I could damage her if I don’t get a handle on my emotions. And what do you think the people of Greenleaf think of me now. I’m the Archon of this community and the alpha of the local shifter pack. Who wants to follow an alpha who can’t speak to a simple human woman?”
“I’m sure they haven’t thought one thing about it, but if you want, I’ll ask around and give you some time to calm down…maybe even rub one out?”
“Oh Gods, I know you didn’t suggest that I masturbate.”
“I did. We’re all the family we have. Hell, we don’t have many friends left either. Every once in a while, I have to put on my bro-hat and give you a little manly advice.”
“Bro-hat?”
“I don’t know. I think I heard one of the male humans say something similar to that to one of his friends.”
“Leave. Now. And never say that again,” I said, pointing to the door.
Laughing at my shocked embarrassment, she left. I sat back in my chair, contemplating rubbing one out as she suggested. I had done that twice last night to the images I had of her in that thin nightgown I caught a glimpse of through her bedroom window. It hadn’t helped. Doing it again would probably be just as ineffectual, but it was all I could think to do to relieve the stress and lust I felt at that moment.