Chapter Eight
“There you go Andrew. Good boy. Stay on the stand.”
Sasha and Jenny crowded into Emily’s office. “Oh, it’s been so long since you brought him in. Can we still feed him?”
“Yes, you can feed him. He has seeds there in his bowl.”
“Hello Andrew.” Sasha crooned to the bright green bird. “How are you doing?”
“Fiiiiiiiiine!” his low voice replied, and both women fell around laughing.
“Man, I love him. I wish I had a talking bird.”
“It’s a lifelong commitment. My mum taught him to speak twenty years ago when I was small. He may be inherited by my children, yet.”
“Wow. That’s so amazing. Here’s a seed Andrew. Do you love seeds?”
“I love you!” he squawked and more laughter followed.
Soon he was imitating their laughter and Emily shooed them out of her office. “Enough, ladies. You can play with him later while I’m interviewing.”
“Ooh, I’ll be back. I remember in the days when this office was actually fun we could play with him for ages.”
“Yes, but then I caught you teaching him to swear, remember Jenny?”
“I remember no such thing.” She smirked and gave the bird a scratch on the neck before going back to her desk.
Emily cleared her email and checked her calendar for the day. Three interviews, as per Cooper’s daily request. Plus she had a safety meeting, a short operations meeting and an appointment with a distributor. Lacey’s first day was tomorrow and there was paperwork to be prepared for her, too.
Cooper wandered past the door. “You’re in early.”
“The early bird eats the worm!” Andrew screeched from the corner.
“Oh, hello Andrew.” He approached the parrot and fed him a seed as Emily watched from the corner of her eye.
If only you knew the deep and meaningful conversations I had with Andrew about you after we broke up.
“Do you remember Cooper, Andrew?” he fed him another seed and looked over at Emily as she stared at her computer screen. “Do you think he remembers me?”
“Coooooopeeerrrrrrrrrr!”
“Ha! He can say my name!” he looked at her again. “How does he know that?”
“Cooooooperrrrrrrr is gone.” Andrews voice was low and sad.
Uh-oh!
“Cooooooperrrrrrrr is a bad boy.”
Emily pursed her lips and tapped out a reply to an email, while simultaneously wanting the ground to swallow her whole.
Shut up bird!
“Cooooooperrrrrrrr isn’t coming back.”
“Wow. He has all these phrases and he just puts my name at the start of each one, huh?”
“I told you he was chatty.” She said brightly as she willed him to leave her office.
“Cooooooperrrrrrrr is banned from this house.”
“Okay Andrew, I get the message. I thought you liked me dude.” Cooper laughed and walked toward the door before addressing Emily. “I’ll see you in the conference room at nine for our first adventure of the day?”
“Can’t wait. Would you mind closing the door so that Andrew doesn’t annoy everyone?”
“Sure.” He glanced at the bird and she relaxed knowing her purgatory would be over in just a second.
Before Cooper pulled the door completely shut, Andrew said in his saddest voice yet, “Cooooooperrrrrrrr broke my heart.”
***
Emily avoided making eye contact with Cooper as they settled themselves at the boardroom table. Tiffany Kirven was seated opposite them, looking like she was born to work at Simpsons Stationery.
The introductions passed without incident and Emily launched into her planned questions. After several days of interviews she was already sick of the questions.
“What’s your greatest weakness?”
“I used to struggle to be on time, but I’ve worked on that and now I give myself a lot more time to get places.”
“Where do you see yourself in five years?”
“Well, I’d like to have learnt a lot about the business and be contributing to a lot of improvements. Personally, I hope I’ve managed to squeeze in a few more overseas trips by then.”
Then the last question, delivered by Cooper. “Out of all the candidates, why should we hire you?” He held up a hand before Tiffany could answer. “Please don’t say it’s your birthday. We’ve already heard that one.”
Emily burst out laughing and Cooper looked sideways at her. “She couldn’t do that in the actual interview where that answer came up.” he said, nodding his head toward her, and Tiffany joined in the laughter.
“It’s definitely not my birthday, and I didn’t meet any of the other candidates, but I can tell you that I enjoy my job, wherever I work. I’ve always found that I fit in well with other staff and I’m quick to learn any new tasks.” She smiled at both of them in turn. “I take a lot of notes so I generally don’t have to ask the same question over and over. You said you have quite a few roles to fill. I’d be an asset as I could be trained quickly and be less of a burden than someone less experienced.”
“Perfect.” When Emily spoke, relief was evident in her voice. “That’s exactly what I like to hear. I think you’ll be hearing from us very soon. You only have to give one week’s notice, right?” She stood and stretched out her hand and Tiffany and Cooper followed her lead.
“Yes, I—” as she reached for Cooper’s hand her skirt caught on the armrest of the chair she’d just vacated. She let out a loud ‘oh’ and then her arm shot up and she fell backward, almost in slow motion. Before Emily or Cooper could move, her chair toppled over and she was flailing with her legs across the chair; her skirt over her waist. Emily pushed Cooper aside and rushed to her rescue. The poor woman’s underwear was showing and she tried to save her the embarrassment of Cooper having to assist.
“Are you okay?” she helped her to the side as Cooper righted the chair and they placed her back in it. “Does it hurt anywhere?”
“Oh my god I’m so embarrassed! No, I haven’t hurt myself. My skirt caught on the seat and I suddenly had a huge muscle spasm in my shoulder. I don’t even know how I jerked over in the chair like that. I’m so sorry—you must think I’m nuts.”
Cooper patted her shoulder. “You’re the least nuts of a large group that we’ve seen over the last few days. Please don’t be embarrassed. We want you for this role and falling off your chair isn’t going to change that.”
“Thank you so much. You won’t be sorry. I promise I’m not overly clumsy.”
When Tiffany had been safely delivered to her car, Emily returned to the door of the conference room. “We don’t need to go through the sheets do we? She’s the best we’ve seen for the purchasing department.”
“We should still do the sheets though. Stops anyone saying there was favouritism or something down the track.” She filled in her sheet as fast as she could without sitting down in her chair. He glanced at it and compared it to his before nodding his head. “Great, we’re in agreement.”
She quickly moved to the door, letting him know she had a safety meeting to attend. She hoped he wouldn’t mention the things that Andrew had said. They’d been doing so well these past weeks. Now the bird had made it awkward.
Well, you shouldn’t have taught him to say those things!
***
“I think we should postpone this one.”
“We can’t. The guy is already here. Let’s just see what kind of candidate we’re likely to get, okay?” They were in Cooper’s office, waiting for Sasha to let them know that their first pick for the operations manager role, Bill Gibbons, had arrived. “He could be great and blow you away.”
“Maybe. I don’t think we’re ready for him, that’s all.”
“I’ve taken that on board. If he doesn’t turn out to be great, we’ll concentrate on the other positions. By the way, I’ve been thinking about the sales manager position.” She reached behind her and pushed the door closed as she heard Andrew screeching on his stand. “I have no experience in hiring sales people, do you?”
“Some. Not a great deal.” He admitted.
“Right. I think one of the reps we already have should be considered to be promoted to the sales manager job.”
“Sounds fair. Can we advertise it internally and have people apply?”
“You took the words out of my mouth.” The phone on Cooper’s desk rang and Sasha announced the arrival of Mr Gibbons as Emily opened the door. “You meet him there, I’ll be two seconds. I’m going to get Jenny to put the job out today via email.”
Bill Gibbons was a stocky man who wore an impeccably cut suit and sported a severe crew cut. As they spoke to him they got the impression that he was a no nonsense type of man, who would not take kindly to people questioning his authority. His work history was varied and he had been an operations manager for the better part of twenty years. Emily felt there was something about his manner that might not fit in with their culture at Simpsons Stationery. She let Cooper take the lead throughout the interview, too, since it seemed he preferred speaking to Cooper than her.
When he left she waited for Cooper to return, for once not eager to escape. After that interview she was sure that Bill Gibbons was not the man for them.
Cooper closed the door and sat opposite her. “So, thoughts?”
“I didn’t like him.”
“That’s very personal of you. How about for the role?”
She blushed and made a face at him. “I meant for the role. He seems a bit, what’s the word? Mean.”
“You’re right. We need someone more personable. Possibly someone who doesn’t mind actually speaking to a woman or making eye contact with her?”
“It wasn’t my imagination, then? He didn’t want to be questioned by me, did he?”
“That’s how it appeared. You have a high ratio of female staff on this site. I don’t think he’s your guy.”
They filled in their scoresheets, going through the motions so there would be a record of their decision. As Emily got up to leave, Cooper said, “Maybe we should have introduced him to Andrew. He could have told him, ‘Bill isn’t coming back!’”
She laughed and turned back, watching him smirk at her discomfort. “I’m sorry about the bird, Cooper. He just says any old thing and I really can’t stop him”
He smiled at her. “Don’t worry, I know it’s not personal, though it’s kind of freaky his word choices, isn’t it?”
“You should try waking up in the middle of the night to hear him chatting to himself. I’ve been convinced more than once that someone was in the house. He even whispers; it makes him seem positively human.”
If only he’d whispered earlier when he was telling all my secrets.
***
At four o’clock the last thing Emily wanted to do was sit through another interview. She’d had a busy day, running from task to task and it looked like she’d be taking work home again tonight. When she went to the conference room Cooper was ready, looking like he’d just had a luxurious two-hour nap.
“Why do you look so chirpy?’
“Maybe because I have a normal workload and am not running myself ragged every night.”
“You don’t fool me. I’ve seen those spread sheets you’ve created since you’ve been here. Those things take hours—you have to be doing them at night since we’re keeping you busy all day.”
“True, but I don’t count that as work too much. I enjoy it. Besides, what else do I have to do? Ed insisted I stay in the hotel even though I have a perfectly good house not that far away.”
“You still live by the beach?”
“I do. I’m missing it, too. It’s worth the drive just to be able to wake up to the salty smell of the ocean. Anyway, who’s last on the list today?”
“Lucy Jones will be here in a few minutes. She’s the one who wrote a note on her resume that she was interested in either the customer service job or the purchasing role.”
“She’s keen.”
The door opened and Sasha announced Lucy’s arrival. She stepped aside and one of the most beautiful women Emily had ever seen swept into the room. The door closed and they caught sight of Sasha rolling her eyes before it shut completely.
After the initial pleasantries they found that Lucy did most of the talking. One question could get her chattering away for minutes on end without appearing to take a breath. Cooper seemed rapt in her answers and made furious notes on his computer as Emily watched with an interested smirk.
“Uh… would it be possible to get a drink of water?” Lucy’s round eyes blinked at Cooper.
“Of course. Let me get you one.” He jumped from his chair and headed for the door. “You keep talking, I won’t be long.”
The door clicked shut and Lucy turned to Emily. “He seems so lovely. What a shame he’s not a full-time employee here.”
“Yes, a real shame.”
“Do you know if he’s single? He’s dishy!”
“Pardon?”
“Is he seeing anyone? Do you think I have a chance? Since we wouldn’t be working together, it would be okay.” It wasn’t a question—she didn’t appear to be asking for permission.
“That’s something you’ll have to pursue outside this interview, I’m afraid.”
Manicured fingernails tapped on the table and Emily decided in that second that Lucy Jones would get a job at Simpsons Stationery over her dead body.
“I’ll have to make sure I—” Cooper returned with the water and handed it to her. “Thank you so much. That was so sweet of you.” She definitely batted her eyelashes that time and Emily felt a flush creep up her body. “I just want you to know, Mr Jackson, that I’ll do anything to secure this role.” More eyelash flickering. “If there’s anything that would guarantee me the position, I’d be more than happy to oblige.”
Is she suggesting what I think she is?
The eye contact Lucy was lavishing on Cooper was uncomfortable to watch and Emily had had enough. She quickly wound up the interview and made sure she was the one to escort Lucy downstairs. As she said her goodbyes Lucy slipped a piece of paper into her hand. “Can you give this to Cooper? I don’t know if you saw it but I definitely got the vibe that he wanted my number.”
She handed it back with her best icy stare. “We have your resume Ms Jones. If Mr Jackson,” she emphasised his name, “wants to call you he can get the number from there.”
She stomped back upstairs, cursing the day she’d ever laid eyes on Cooper Jackson. Why should she care if he dated Lucy? What difference would it make to her if he started seeing someone?
A whole damn lot of difference, if she were to be one hundred percent honest with herself.
Cooper met her at the conference room door. “Phew! How was her form? Was she offering to sleep with me, just to get a job in customer service?” he laughed loudly and Emily stared at him.
“You weren’t interested? You seemed captivated by those lashes.”
“Hell no! She’s totally not my type. Waaaaay too brazen for me.”
“She asked me to give you her number but I refused. I told her we have it on her resume so she’ll probably be waiting for your call.”
He laughed again and they walked toward their offices. “She’ll be waiting a very long time for that call. I assume she’s a no on your list of applicants?”
“She’s a big no. Anyone who subtly propositions the person interviewing them isn’t going to work here.”
“Fair enough.”
Faintly, from the direction of her office, Emily heard Andrew start up. “Cooooooperrrrrrrr can’t be trusted!” he sang out as she coughed and tried to cover the sound.
“You talk to the bird at home quite a bit, huh?”
***
“Shhh… Andrew. People are working.”
“Don’t shush me! I’ll tell your father!” he squawked, bobbing up and down on his perch.
“Andrew, please. Cooper might send you home.”
“Cooper, schmooper.” He shrieked, and then he was off, saying all the phrases he knew as fast as he could, and all at the top of his voice. “He broke my heart, he’s not coming back, he’s a bad man, Cooper is gone. Gone in the head. Gone from the bed. We’ll burn the bed Andrew. Andrew is better than Cooper. Cooper smells. Cooper is poop. Cooper can’t sing. Andrew can siiiiiiiing!”
Emily squeezed her eyes shut. She’d brought Andrew to work dozens of times over the years and he usually sat happily in the corner telling the girls he loved them and asking them to fill up his seeds. This time he’d decided to repeat every word she’d ever said to him about Cooper. Good and bad.