The Long Wait
Charlotte
Charlie pulled up to Serena’s, expertly negotiating her Lincoln Navigator into the long driveway. It was easy to park today since Jake’s massive SUV wasn’t here. It was in the parking lot at McKay-Taggart and had been for hours.
It would stay there until Jake and Adam were through with the mission and went to pick it up. Just like Ian’s F-150 would be safe in the confines of the parking garage. All those spaces were taken up right now, but they would be empty later because everyone would be safe and come home.
Positivity. That was what a day like this called for.
The door to the main house opened and Serena rushed outside. Like she’d been sitting there waiting, and she probably had.
“Have you heard anything yet?” Serena asked. Her voice was steady, but there was no way to miss the tension in her body.
How many times had she and Serena gone through this together? Ten? Twenty? It was hard to remember them all. Some of the group needed to be alone for the wait, but Serena couldn’t handle it so at the very least Charlotte and Avery always made their way over to her place or invited her to theirs. They would sit and talk. They would drink when they could and help with each other’s kiddos. They would hold on to each other when the worry got to be too much.
This was the sisterhood.
Before she could get out, Serena had the car door open and was helping the kids climb down. Kenzie and Kala went straight into Serena’s arms.
“Daddy’s working,” Kala said solemnly.
Daddy worked every day, but somehow the words seemed wise, as though her tiny daughter understood there was a difference when Daddy went to work at odd hours and Momma took off for her aunties’ homes or they showed up at hers.
“I know, baby,” Serena replied, ruffling Kala’s hair gently. “Uncle Adam and Uncle Jake are working, too. It’s going to be okay because they’re going to finish their work and join us here for the party. They won’t let us down, baby girl. They’ll be here. Let’s go inside and start getting ready. Tristan has some snacks. Do you want some?”
Kenzie brightened up but Kala merely gave her a slow nod, as though she’d thought it through and it was all right to snack. Eating wouldn’t change the situation for the better or the worse, so she was okay with it.
Her babies. So like her and Ian. Kenzie was impulsive and threw herself into life with zest. Kala was careful, thinking through her every move.
Serena set them down and pointed to the door. “Go on then. You know the way. Your Aunt Mia is in the back with the kids.”
When the girls were through the door, she turned back to Charlie, who was gently lifting up her sleeping son’s car seat.
“Any news?”
Charlie shook her head. “It could be hours. I know they managed to infiltrate the building with no problems, but they can’t simply go after the Ukrainians. They’re only part of the problem. The real problem is de Vries. They know he’s coming to meet the Ukrainians and make the trade— Steph for Anya. They don’t know when that meeting is taking place. Until then, they’re all in place and waiting.”
The Ukrainians had shown up the night before at Sanctum of all places, proving they had their own good intel. A mercenary group was after Dr. Stephanie Gibson and they had unfortunately taken Steph’s friend and nurse Anya Shadrova as a hostage. Her brother was a member of the Ukrainian mob and wanted his sister back. He wasn’t planning on playing fair.
But then her husband was cool with unfair, too. That was precisely why he and a whole group of deadly ex-Special Forces operatives were currently lying in wait.
It was the end of the op, she hoped. Ezra Fain had been called in so the CIA would be backing the MT team up. She prayed.
Because they were going up against some very bad men with lots of guns. They would be outnumbered. Anything could go wrong. God, hadn’t Theo taught them that?
She took a deep breath. It wouldn’t go wrong. It would be fine because they were the best.
Her husband and brothers-in-law and brothers-of-the-heart and Erin would be fine. They would do their job and get Steph and Tucker back. They might kill Alfi, but she was okay with that.
The point was everything would be fine, and she and Serena and Avery would get ready for Jake’s birthday barbecue. They would have a lot to celebrate, and when the guys got here, they would be hungry and thirsty.
“Are you okay?” Serena asked.
She forced a smile on her face. “Of course. Ian’s fine. I know he is. I trust him.”
“I didn’t mean that. I trust him, too. I meant it has to be hard for you. Avery and I never think twice. We wouldn’t go out in the field, but you’ve been there. You’re as good a shot as Erin. You’ve had a ton of training.”
She shook her head. “Not the way the others have. I wasn’t trained to function as part of a team.”
She’d been trained to work alone, to be deadly as any venomous snake. To strike hard and fast.
How far she’d come from that world.
“But you want to be the one to back him up,” Serena continued.
Of course she did. She wanted to be right there beside her husband, making damn sure no one got the drop on him. She wanted to be there, ready to give him anything he might need. That was her job.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t her only job.
“We made a promise when we had kids that one of us would stay out of harm’s way,” she replied quietly. “Honestly, since the girls came along, Ian only goes into the field when he has to. He knows he’s moving into a more managerial role with the team and he’s usually good with it.”
But he missed the field. She could see it in his eyes. He’d been eager for this. The minute they’d figured out why Tucker had allowed himself to be taken, Ian had clapped his hands together, his eyes filled with a fierce light.
It would be all right. Ian was surrounded by people who would take care of him. He and Li and Alex would stick together. His brothers and Erin were backing him up, and they’d taken the whole bodyguard crew with them. Brody was the one she should worry about. Brody was the one who would be emotional.
The big Aussie had kissed his son and walked away because he had to try to save Nate’s mother.
“How’s Nate?”
Serena had taken him home with her. Avery had gone along, staying what was left of the night here with Serena.
Serena smiled and picked up the bag Charlie had brought. “That kid can eat. He’s a sweetie. He’s fascinated by the other kids. Aidan and Tristan have been amusing him, but I think he’s been waiting for the girls.”
Her girls were charmers when it came to babies. Or outcasts. They were pretty good at figuring out which kids were getting the short end of the social stick and dealing with the jerks giving it to them. She feared for their junior high years. And was also totally excited about them.
“Erin and Theo dropped TJ off before they joined the others,” Avery explained. “It’s kid central back there. Mia stayed with us last night, too. She’s in the back with the babies.”
All the Taggart wives got together when trouble came their way. She was sure at some point in time Sean and Grace would show up to see if they could help.
Charlotte’s phone buzzed and a momentary flare of panic went through her. She forced herself to stay calm. It was just a text. No one would send her bad news in a text. They had protocols. A text was merely an update. She reached into her pocket as she followed Serena into the house.
“Anyone else getting a text?” Charlie asked.
Avery was standing in the kitchen, pouring mugs of coffee. She glanced down at the counter where her phone sat. “Nope.”
Serena shook her head. “Not me.”
Good. Bad news tended to run rampant. She set Seth down and swiped her phone to read the text.
Hey, baby. Can you send a copy of “Welcome to the Jungle” to my phone? I don’t know how I lost it, but it’s not here and I need a theme song. You know how important that is. Love you.
She could send him an audio file. Easy peasy. She texted him back.
Sure thing, babe. One theme song coming your way.
“You need some coffee?” Avery offered. “We’ve got the menu ready, but there’s a ton of prep work.”
Being in the kitchen would be good for her soul. It was easy, busy work. Avery was the one who could really cook, and Charlie would happily chop anything Avery put in front of her. She was good with a knife. She would totally pretend she was chopping up asshat Dutch mercenaries. Or Ukrainian mobsters who just had to stick their noses in everything. “Thanks. I can definitely use the coffee. We didn’t get home until almost dawn. By we I mean me and three small children. I have no idea how single moms manage. How my mom managed. Just getting them to bed was a Herculean task. Sometimes I wish I could attach a basket to Bud and let him carry a couple in from the car. I hate leaving them alone even in the garage.”
She logged into her media account. She shared one with Ian, but as hers was also filled with songs about bouncing lollipops and lost dogs finding their way home, they kept separate lists. She had to figure out how to move the song from her list to his. How hard could that be?
She couldn’t drag it over to his. The screen was too small. She was trying to use the app instead of the full software and she rarely even tried to use it for anything except to play music from her phone. The damn screen didn’t seem to know her finger was on it.
“I thought we’d start with the salads after we feed the kiddos some breakfast. I made a breakfast casserole last night. I know. I cook when I’m nervous. I figured we could use something in the morning anyway,” Avery was saying.
“She really does cook when she’s nervous. She made two pies last night, too,” Serena explained. “The good news is when I’m nervous, I like to clean.”
They all had their roles. Avery cooked. Serena cleaned. Charlie tended to play with the kids or organize activities to keep everyone occupied.
“I don’t know if I can eat,” Serena continued, joining Charlie at the bar. “I got maybe two hours of sleep. I thought we could sentry.”
It was what they did. When the mission was long, they got together and took turns napping while the other two watched kids and waited for word.
Ian wanted that song. Guns N’ Roses soothed him. It freaking soothed him and let him think better. He needed that stupid song and she couldn’t get it to pull up.
What was she doing wrong? He needed this and she was failing. One thing. He’d asked one thing of her and she couldn’t manage to do it.
Panic welled. Was the op starting and he didn’t have what he needed? What if that stupid song proved the difference in whether he could focus? What if he hesitated because he was waiting on her and she couldn’t even work a damn phone app?
“Charlotte?”
She could barely see the fucking screen. “Ian needs a song. I have to get him his song.”
It hadn’t been so long since they’d gotten Theo back. Her stomach clenched. She’d been standing there beside Ian when he’d gotten the news. She’d watched him pale as the fact that his youngest brother was dead had washed over him. She’d been the one to hold on to him briefly before he’d left to find the body and save the rest of the team.
She’d been there when he’d come home and held her like he would never let her go. Weeks had passed and he’d been stoic and calm in public, and in private he’d spent every moment he could inside her, holding her, letting her be his rock.
Who would be hers if she lost her husband?
She wasn’t going to find out because she would figure out how to get him that fucking song.
Serena’s hand came out over the phone. “Sweetie, I don’t think it works like that. Here, let me try. What do you need to do?”
That was when she noticed her hand was shaking. Charlie took a deep breath. This wasn’t the place to break down.
“Charlotte, it’s okay.” Avery was there, too, her voice warm and steady. “We’re all feeling it. It hasn’t been too long since Theo died. This is the first real op the guys have been on.”
“Ian and Case went to save Theo,” she pointed out. Why was she reacting this way? It wasn’t the first op. She’d had over a year to get over this. Where was the panic coming from? It welled up along with the frustration at her stupid fucking phone.
Mia Lawless Taggart walked out of the hallway, a baby in her arms. Though Charlie couldn’t see it, she knew there was one in her belly, too. Case’s first child. Mia bounced the baby wrapped in the pink blanket gently. Brianna, Serena’s daughter. “But we didn’t know when they would be in danger. That mission took a solid week. It was easier. Way easier. It was kind of like they were on a trip. I don’t like this part. I know it’s going down any minute and I’m terrified.”
Mia was scared? Of course she was. Charlie felt herself center. Mia hadn’t been married to Case for long and she was right. When Ian and Case had gone to Europe to look for Hope McDonald, they’d been playing a long game. They’d contacted home every day and it was like they were simply men on a business trip. She and Mia hadn’t known until Ian had called and said it was over what was really happening at any point in time.
Charlie put her hands on Mia’s shoulders, giving her what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “It’s all right, sweetie. This is the gig and we’ve done it a million times, and every single time, they walk through that door.” Yes, this was what she needed. “And they’ll be hungry. Ian’s always hungry after a killing spree.”
Mia’s lips curled up slightly. “That’s not what Case will want.”
Neither would Ian, but some things had to wait a while. “Well, then he shouldn’t have picked today for his killing spree. Come on, let’s get the kiddos fed and then we’ll take some nap sentry duty. It was a long night. It’s going to be a longer day. Think of it as our version of girls’ night, except it’s daytime and no one’s getting a stripper. Well, not until the guys come home. I assure you at some point in time they’ll all get naked and needy.”
“Speaking of girls’ night,” Avery said, carrying a tray. “A venerable girls’ night tradition is drinking. I thought we’d start with Sparkling Screwdrivers. Well, for everyone but the pregnant chicks. Ours is just orange juice. Sorry, sister.”
Mia sighed and held Brianna closer. “I miss out on all the fun these days.”
“Got it.” Serena handed her phone back. “I sent him a playlist of all the best G N’ R, starting with ‘Welcome to the Jungle’.”
A wave of relief swept through her. It would be okay. She took the screwdriver and lifted her glass. “To girls’ night.”
“And day,” Avery said.
They all lifted their glasses and Charlie knew what she was really toasting. “To the sisterhood.”
“To the sisterhood,” they said solemnly.
To the sisterhood that held them all up and allowed them to break when they needed to. To the sisterhood that gave them understanding and support. It was the same sisterhood that every cop’s wife, soldier’s honey, or fireman’s mother built around herself and her community so they could survive loving someone they could so easily lose.
To the sisterhood she’d found and would fiercely protect. They held each other’s hands and babies. They brought food and comfort when needed. They understood.
They clinked glasses and the solemn moment was over.
“Let’s turn on some of that sweet Guns N’ Roses and get this party started,” Charlie said, stronger than she’d been before.
After all, they had work to do, too.
Serena
Serena took a deep breath, trying to think about anything else. She heard the chatter around her, but didn’t feel much like talking. Not yet. Her mind wouldn’t stop though. Her mind just kept whirling and coming back to the bad stuff.
Work. She would think about work. Work was always good.
Start at the beginning.
Chapter One
Mila looked across the room and saw the amazingly hot man. Who was he? Where had he come from? Why was he wearing skinny jeans?
Nope. Serena discarded that line of thinking at the same time she tossed out the egg shells. She started to whisk those eggs as she tried to concentrate. No skinny jeans. No matter what Adam thought, skinny jeans shouldn’t be on one of her heroes. And some men could totally rock a pink polo, but Adam wasn’t one of them. She’d kept her mouth closed when she’d caught Jake throwing it out.
Was Adam alone? How long had he been in position? She worried about him during a mission like this. Was he scared?
Nope. Jake was there. They would take care of each other.
Was Avery going to make more screwdrivers? Sometimes the pregnant chicks didn’t remember that alcohol totally helped.
She looked at the oven and raised the temp to 425. They had to feed the babies.
Maybe she should write another small town book. It had been a long time. She’d gotten caught up in the romantic suspense. Sometimes it was good to change things up.
She would run it by her writer friends group. She was due to go to a retreat in Colorado in a few weeks. Creede, Colorado.
Should she go? With everything happening at home, maybe she should skip it.
Although Colorado was beautiful. Maybe she needed some inspiration. A couple of hot Colorado cowboys. They would be on horseback when the heroine first saw them and then…oh, then she would turn and her breath would be taken away…
“Serena?”
She glanced up. Charlotte was staring at her. “Did you hear a word I said?”
She smiled. It was the best way to get through it. That and lying. She wasn’t capable of concentrating on a day like today. “Sure.”
Charlotte went on about how pissed she was at her Internet music provider and Serena let her mind wander.
Or she could write about a Texas town. Yeah, she might be going about this wrong. She wrote about a lot of small towns where ménage was the norm. But what about a Texas town where it wasn’t, where the heroine would have to fight small minds to catch her hot cowboys.
It could start with a woman coming home after being run out of town twenty years before…
Mia
Mia glanced at the clock. Not even noon. Her phone, unlike Charlotte’s, had been radio silent. Apparently her husband didn’t need a “theme song,” unlike his big brother.
“You okay?” Avery asked. She was standing in the kitchen, peeling potatoes while Charlotte cleaned up after breakfast.
Mia was simply trying to take it all in. Breakfast with eight kiddos under the age of five was a truly eye-opening experience. She almost might be wondering what the hell she was doing thinking she could handle a family like this.
Charlotte kept everything moving smoothly. She was the boss and nothing fazed her. Serena seemed to be working on something. She kept making notes on plots and characters. Avery was peaceful and calm, her tone soothing.
Mia felt like a fucking wreck.
Her stomach churned and the toast she’d managed to down threatened to come back up. “I’m fine.”
Deep breath. Oh, this baby boy was going to kill her. When she looked in the mirror, she could see only the faintest hint of a curve to her stomach, but her son was making himself felt.
Charlotte looked up, shaking her head. “She’s green. I think we should call a code seven up on that one.”
Ah, the sarcasm of her inlaws. A code seven up meant someone was about to blow, usually either a kid or a pregnant woman, though she’d seen one called on Adam when he’d changed a particularly nasty diaper once. She was going to have one of those wriggling, needy things, and she would be the one here waiting to find out if her husband had made it while she took care of their son.
It was so unfair.
Another deep breath. She was stuck at home while Case wandered the world, while Case put himself in perpetual danger for a job he didn’t need because she had the means to provide for them all. He was out there right now waiting to get his hot ass killed, and why?
They had millions of dollars at their fingertips. They had a private jet. Of course it was all courtesy of her brother, but it was still right there.
“Nope,” Avery said, taking her hand. “Let’s go. Even if you don’t need to throw up, you need something. You’re going from red to green to sheet white.”
She’d lost her parents when she was six years old. Would this baby of hers lose Daddy before he even got out of the womb? Was her family cursed?
Avery gently started to pull her into the hallway. Then she didn’t have to because Mia realized that nothing was going to stop what was happening in her gut. She sprinted toward the bathroom and barely managed to make it there before breakfast took an encore.
“Yep, I hated this part,” Avery was saying as she knelt down and held Mia’s hair.
All her life she’d wanted sisters. Now they seemed to be everywhere. Magnificent women who tried to take care of her. If it hadn’t been Avery it would have been Serena or Charlotte. When she was home, Ellie or Carly or Shelby took on the duty. Case tried, but then he got sympathy nausea and she usually ended up taking care of him.
Men.
She forced herself to stand and wash her mouth out.
Mia sank back down to the floor, her body weak. “Sorry. I made it through the first couple of months with no problems at all, but the last few weeks have been hell on my stomach.”
Avery sat with her, both their backs to Serena’s big tub. “I knew I was pregnant with Aidan when I woke up one morning and couldn’t get to the bathroom fast enough. I think this one might be a girl. I had to take a test to be sure I was expecting. The only sign was missing my period. She’s perfectly well behaved. Not a single incidence of morning sickness. Also, morning sickness is a misnomer. It can happen any time.”
“It sucks.”
“It also gets better,” Avery assured her. “You’ll hit this magical time when the sickness goes away and you’ll feel good again, and if you’re lucky you’ll feel very, very sexy.”
Mia had to laugh. “I think I already have that part down. When I’m not tired or sick, I’m super horny. It’s been a fun, unexpected twist to the pregnancy thing.”
Sometimes her husband walked in the room and she jumped him. She couldn’t help it. She needed him inside her. It was kind of awesome.
“Ah, hormones. Enjoy it now because they bite you in the butt in the end.” Avery passed her a can of green cold goodness.
She took a long drink. That was so much better. “Do you ever get used to this?”
“To what? Pregnancy, or the sitting at home and waiting to see if your man gets shot thing?”
Tears pierced Mia’s eyes as the memory surfaced as clear and cutting as though it had happened yesterday. When she closed her eyes, she could still see Case falling, see the blood bloom on his chest and feel the horror of being dragged away from him. “I watched Case get shot once. I don’t know what’s worse—seeing it or worrying about it when I can’t see it.”
Avery sighed. “I think watching it is definitely worse. I was there when Eli Nelson shot Li. It was only a couple of times, but in my mind it was a hundred. Li covered me. He took bullet after bullet for me, and then Nelson was nice enough to give us a head start before he blew up the house we were in. I had to drag Li out because he couldn’t move.”
“I remember how hard it was to watch Case going after Theo. He couldn’t shoot his brother, but Theo didn’t know who he was. It was awful. I was there and I wished that if someone died, it would be me. And that was a completely selfish thought.”
“Because you didn’t want to be the one left behind,” Avery said. “Believe me, I know that thought well. We’ve all had it. To answer your question more thoroughly, it does get easier because you learn to trust him. You figure out that he’s not as reckless as he was when he was a kid. Li knows his time in the field is coming to an end. I think he’s looking forward to today because soon he’ll have two kids, and with half the team forming their own thing, he’s going to have to take on some administrative duties.”
Adam, Jake, and Si, Jesse, and their wives would be on their own soon. Big Tag would bring in new operatives, young men and women without families who would take over for the older operatives in the field. No one wanted to be away from their kiddos for too long. It was the way their world worked. How would Case handle it when the inevitable time came?
“Does that make him mad? I ask because I think it would upset Case if he had to be behind a desk.”
Avery shook her head. “No. He knows that Adam is far too brilliant to stay where he is forever. He’s always known that. Adam and Chelsea are going to bring peace to a lot of people. And it’s natural for their partners and spouses to go with them. And it’s natural that Ian, Alex, and Li take on more managerial roles. Does it make you mad?”
She shook her head. McKay-Taggart had always felt like a family to her. It must hurt to break a big piece of it off, but she understood ambition. “Of course not. I think what they’re doing is amazing. They’re going to find missing people. I’m excited about it. Adam said I could follow him around, maybe write a story about the company as they try to figure out who the Lost Boys are.”
“I meant does it make you mad that you have to be the one who sits behind a desk now?”
She turned to Avery, who had so precisely stated her feelings. “I can’t risk our baby.”
“But it hurts you the same way it hurts Charlotte. Like Serena said, she and I aren’t warriors. I always knew I wanted to stay home and raise some kids with a nice man I met. I never imagined I would meet Li and then Serena and that we would build a business of our own, but it’s not as exciting as going around the world and reporting on war zones.”
She’d loved her job. Her job had taken her to some of the craziest places in the world, some of the most dangerous places, too. “I lost my mom and dad at a young age. I can’t risk losing this baby. I can’t risk him losing one of us.”
“Are you mad at Case for still putting himself out there? It’s okay if you are. Love is a complex thing, but sometimes admitting our feelings helps us get over them.”
She thought about it for a moment, finally examining her feelings. What was she? Worried. A little sad that part of her life was mostly over. Was she angry?
Life was a set of choices. Case would have been happy to split his time. Before she’d gotten pregnant, he followed her when she wanted to write a story. He’d helped with her brothers and never complained.
Tears started to fall. “Case wouldn’t be Case if he didn’t work.”
Did she want Case to take some corporate job with her brother’s company where he would always be safe and the worst he would deal with was running employee background checks? It wasn’t about the money for Case. It was about who he was.
She hadn’t fallen for him because he was safe. She certainly hadn’t fallen for him because he wanted to sit around and be idly wealthy. That wasn’t Case at all.
“I like writing fiction,” she admitted. “It’s a much easier transition for me than him. It’s not because I’m the woman. I’m sure for some couples it is, but not us. Case was happy to follow me around the world and make sure I stay safe.”
“But you’re having a baby and he needs roots. One of you has to come home,” Avery said gently.
“Me. I’m going to do it.” Somehow saying it out loud made her feel better. “You know I was raised by my moms.”
Avery grinned. “I love your moms. They make the best chili.”
Mia wiped her eyes. “Mama does. And then Mom was a doctor. She worked in a trauma unit and kept crazy hours. Mama wanted to own a bakery. Then I came along and they decided someone needed to be there for me. I was a…how do I put it…needy wreck when I got to their house.”
She’d been in foster care for a couple of months when she’d landed with her moms. She’d shown up with all of her meager possessions in a garbage bag, and she hadn’t unpacked for three weeks.
“You had been through a lot,” Avery said quietly.
“Mama had saved up money to start her business. She had this place in Deep Ellum picked out, and then she realized I would have to go into after-school care, potentially before-school care because bakeries open early for breakfast. That is perfectly fine for some kids.”
“But you desperately needed the stability of a stay-at-home parent after all that chaos,” Avery concluded.
The memories came back to her, easing her and making her tear up at the same time. Despite everything, she’d been loved. There was no such thing as having it all. There was love and joy and sacrifice. There were decisions to be made for the betterment of the whole family. “So she changed her dreams and worked from home. I got to help. I still love to bake. It’s soothing to me. It makes me feel loved. I’m going to give that to my kids. Life is a set of choices and I think I just came to terms with mine.”
And when she thought about it, she didn’t totally have to choose. There would still be research trips. She would need to see and visit the places she wrote about. She would simply have to be more careful about it because her life would be precious to her child. Precious to her husband, too. What had it taken for Case to let her go those six months before she’d listened to his voicemails? He’d loved her and he’d given her the time and space she’d needed. He’d kept his hands off even as he’d known she’d been in danger.
“I think I want to make a chocolate cake,” she said suddenly. Like most times during this part of her pregnancy, mornings of nausea were lifted by afternoons filled with energy and light.
Avery got to her feet and held out a hand. “I think we can manage that.”
Case would be hungry when he came home. Hungry for everything, and she intended to give it to him.
Serena
Should she have the alpha male shoot the villain? Maybe that was way too obvious. She needed a twist. God, she shot a lot of people. In a fictional way.
Jake got shot. In a real way. Adam had scars all over his body that spoke of how often he’d danced with the reaper.
Nope. Not going there. She had a book to plot. Didn’t she always?
A good twisty murder mystery.
That was what would get everyone’s minds off the fact that there were not only Ukrainian assholes after her hot hubbies, but also a bunch of Dutch mercenaries. Everyone was trying to kill her men.
Serena stared at the ceiling. It was her nap time. How was she supposed to sleep? Despite the fact that she’d been awake for over twenty-four hours, her freaking brain wouldn’t turn off. How was she supposed to turn it off without fifty orgasms? When Adam and Jake were here they would just fuck her calm. She was totally good with that plan.
She closed her eyes. Only one more hour. She needed sleep or she would be a zombie and it was Jake’s birthday.
Maybe not so twisty a story. Maybe this story would be predictable and routine and the bad guys would be defeated with ease. Yes. That was the story she wanted today.
Sleep. She needed an hour of sleep and she would be able to deal.
How many characters had she written whose names started with A?
Aaron. Amelia. Annie.
She started to count characters and briefly managed some sleep.
Avery
She wasn’t sure how Serena could sleep. Probably because she had two men and knew they would watch after each other.
No. That wasn’t fair. Jake and Adam were as much on the line as anyone else. They didn’t merely watch after each other. They would be in the middle of the fight, watching after Li and the rest.
They were all one big family.
She had to hold on to that thought.
Because she couldn’t lose another husband. She couldn’t go through that again. No. The universe couldn’t possibly be that cruel.
What time was it? Almost two in the afternoon. The kids were napping. Serena was down for the count. They’d made all the pies and cakes. Most of the sides. The meat was marinating and she was standing out here in the heat of the afternoon prepping for a party that might or might not happen.
That would happen.
“You need help with that?” Grace stepped outside and took the other end of the tablecloth, helping her spread it over the long picnic table. “Sorry we’re late. Lucas had an ear infection. He’s fine this morning, but it was a hell of a night. Not that we’re the only ones who had a bad night. Have you heard anything?”
She shook her head. Sometimes she thought Grace had gotten the best deal of the lot of them. Sean’s passion was food. Still, of all the women here, Grace was the one who understood what loss truly meant. She’d lost a husband, too. “Not a word. I’m sure they’re fine.”
Grace’s eyes widened. “Oh, this is the moment when I would grab a bottle of wine, if you could. Avery, it’s all right to be upset. You know if you don’t talk about it, it festers and causes trouble down the road.”
Sometimes it was like standing in front of a crowd and introducing yourself. Hello, I’m Avery and I’m a one-time widow, shooting to not lose husband number two and worried that I will because the way I feel about him totally eclipses anything I felt for the first one. Because sometimes, deep down, I’m okay with how things went because I love him and our life together so, so much I can barely stand it.
How could she think that? How could she expect to think that way and not have something terrible happen?
This was the worst time. Everything was quiet. This was when she couldn’t stop her brain from working overtime. She would find something to do. They would call any minute now. Or they would decide to play a little trick on the women and simply walk right through the door. Li would walk in any moment.
She smoothed the tablecloth down, trying to make it as perfect as possible.
Grace reached out, putting a hand over hers. “Avery, it’s okay to freak out and you know it. You’re the one who always says if one of us doesn’t have a breakdown, it’s not an op.”
Because this was their op. This was their trial. Waiting. Keeping the home fires burning.
“I can’t stop thinking about what happened to Brandon and Maddie.” Her hands were shaking. So many years had passed and yet sometimes the pain was fresh and slicing.
“Of course you can’t.” Charlotte stepped through the patio door and out into the backyard. “Stephanie’s here. She’s also in danger, and everything you sacrificed for is up in the air. Avery, I can’t believe you’re standing upright.”
It so sucked that she couldn’t down a bottle of wine and numb herself while this was going on. Steph was out there somewhere with a gun pointed at her head. Li was trying to save her. She could lose them all.
She looked to Grace. “When is it okay to be okay with it?”
Grace’s eyes went soft and understanding. She stepped in and put her hands on Avery’s shoulders. “It’s all right. It’s okay now. I think the same things and guilt threatens to overwhelm me, but I also know that it’s all right to be happy things turned out the way they did.”
Charlotte joined them. “What are you talking about?” Serena and Mia stepped outside.
“Is everything all right?” Serena asked, yawning.
Suddenly nothing at all seemed right. It had been too long. They’d heard nothing. Absolutely nothing. Her phone had been completely silent. What if someone died? She knew what team protocol was. They would go silent until the family could be notified. There would be no cheery texts saying they would be home soon. There would be silence.
She couldn’t do it again. She couldn’t lose Li.
“I wouldn’t change anything.” Avery admitted her guilt. “I would go through it all again if it meant being right here. What kind of person does that make me?”
They moved around her, forming a circle, surrounding her.
“Oh, Avery, it makes you human and happy,” Charlotte said.
Grace looked down at her. “We can’t go back and change the past. We can only move forward. I know my husband would be happy for me. He would be happy for our boys, that they got a kick-ass stepfather to help them through adulthood. He would be happy that I found someone who loves me like no one else in the world. Avery, we can’t help that we’re happy and they’re gone. We can only thank the universe for sending us something to ease the ache of losing them.”
“I think about the fact that if my mom had lived, if I hadn’t been kidnapped by my dad, I would be an entirely different person. I wouldn’t be Ian’s Charlie,” Charlotte said solemnly. “I’ve known some of the lowest lows a person can know in the world, but I made the choice to also accept the highs. I wouldn’t go back. This is my life and I’ll take every minute of it.”
The goods. The bads. The long waits in between. All of it worthwhile. All of it precious.
They held on to each other, the circle closing around Avery. A silence descended and she knew what every woman was thinking.
Bring him home to me. Safe and sound. Let this be a good day. But if it’s not a good day, if it’s the day we all dread, then thank you for the women who surround me. Thank you for the sisterhood that lifts me up and reminds me I am never alone.
A single cell phone pinged, breaking their silent communion. And then another. And another.
And Avery felt hers go off.
She pulled it from her jeans pocket.
All safe and sound, love. Though it looks like Brody’s got his knickers in a terrible twist. We’ve got some cupid work to do. Get that food ready because you’ve got a hungry lot coming your way. I love you, me darlin’.
She breathed for the first time in hours.
Not today. It wouldn’t be today.
Charlotte’s head fell back on a happy groan. “Thank god. Girls, let’s get this party started. Who wants tequila?”
Mia raised her hand. “I want it. I want it so bad. I’ll settle for ice cream.”
Grace wrapped an arm around Charlotte’s waist. “Come on, sister. I’ve got Sean already cutting up limes for us.”
Serena smiled as the others filed in. “I’ll get the grill started. Damn. I told Jake to move it. There are bees in those bushes.”
Avery smiled and took a moment to let the sun warm her face. There were times when she was truly happy to be alive and loved. They were coming home. For some families, the idea that they could be torn apart never occurred to them except in an abstract fashion. But she was aware every day. That meant she had to be grateful every single day.
Thankful for another moment, another day, another week and month and year with him.
With her family.
“Don’t worry about it,” she told Serena. “They just dodged a thousand bullets. A few bees can’t do much harm. Let’s get the salads ready.”
Serena joined her. Their men were coming home.
It was time to celebrate.