Chapter 10
Henley
I was starving. I’d been helping Cassidy with inventory for the past two hours, and I hadn’t had a chance to eat. As soon as we finished sorting everything at the bar, I went to the kitchen to see if the guys had anything made up for lunch. When I walked in, the room was empty except for Maverick. He was sitting all alone at the long kitchen table with a not-so-subtle scowl on his face. I wondered what he was thinking about, sitting there alone in the quiet. He was in a daze; totally unaware I had even walked into the room. When I looked at him, I could see a world of hurt hidden behind those beautiful, green eyes. He sat there, slumped down in his chair, and I could almost see the weight of the world sitting on his broad shoulders. He was completely lost in his own thoughts, and it didn’t look like a place anyone needed to be.
Trying to knock him out of his stupor, I sat down beside him and asked, “Do you ever smile?” He let out a deep sigh of frustration, making sure I knew he wasn’t exactly thrilled I was interrupting his lunch. He didn’t even acknowledge my question as he took a big bite of his ham sandwich.
“Seriously, does anything make you happy, or are you always such a grouch?” I pushed, trying to get some kind of reaction out of him.
“Are you bored, Henley? Trying to pick a fight with me so you’ll have something to occupy your time?” he asked with his mouth full.
“I just don’t get it. You’re a good-looking guy, the new Sergeant of Arms of the club, and the guys seem to really respect you.”
“So, you’re flirting with me now?” he asked, looking over to me with a sexy smirk. Damn. That smile could melt hearts from a mile away.
“Oh, please, don’t flatter yourself. I’m just trying to get inside that head of yours.”
“Don’t,” he barked. “You don’t know shit about me, and…”
“That’s not exactly true. I know you have a son. A son you loved enough that you gave him up so he could have a life you didn’t think you could give him on your own.” His eyebrows furrowed as he glared at me, but he didn’t try to stop me from continuing. “And I know that had to be hard—really hard, but you didn’t let it stop you. You kept living, working to make your club better… safer. I also know that you helped your brother get in that other club in Tennessee, even though you probably wanted him to be here with you. You did it, because it was the best thing for him.”
“Cassidy talks too damn much,” he grumbled.
“You’re missing the point,” I snapped.
“What’s the point then, Henley? Tell me. What exactly do you think I should be smiling about?” he said as he glared at me angrily, warning me to shut the hell up, but I was determined to make my point.
“As far as I can tell you have plenty to smile about, but you’re focusing on the wrong things. You have to learn from your mistakes and let the past go. Just live your life the best way you can and forget about the things that you can’t change. Don’t be so hard on yourself about everything. Lighten up,” I explained, wishing he would actually listen to what I was saying.
“The past makes us who we are. I live it and breathe it. It’s not something I can just let go of,” he said as he turned his attention back to his sandwich.
“That may be true, Maverick, but you can either dwell on your own misery, or try to find your way back to some kind of happiness. You just have to take that first step.”
“Maybe, just maybe, I don’t want to take that step. Maybe I like things just the way they are.” His green eyes darkened with the anguish that churned inside of him. I wanted to reach out and hold him in my arms and take all his pain away. I had to find a way to make him see things differently, to distract him from his despair, even if it’s just for a little while. I have to try to get him to take that first step.
“We’ll just have to see about that,” I told him, smiling.
“Just leave it alone, Henley,” he said, his voice full of irritation, all of which was directed at me.
“Don’t be such a grump. I might just end up surprising you,” I told him as I stood up. “I’m going with Cassidy to see Dallas.”
“You’re not going alone,” he snapped, dropping his sandwich down on his plate.
“I won’t be alone. I’m going with Cassidy.”
“You don’t go anywhere without a member of this club. Period. I’ve got to meet with Cotton, so I’ll get Clutch to go with you. Go straight there and back. No stops,” he said firmly.
“Whatever you say, boss.” I gave a quick salute as I turned to leave.
When I finally made it outside, Cassidy was already waiting for me in her car. The engine was running while she sat there, talking on her phone. When I got in the car, she brought her finger up to her lips, letting me know not to say anything.
“Yes, sir. I’ll tell her,” she said with her voice oozing with sweetness. I knew right away she was talking with Dad. “Yeah, she got her scores last night. I think she aced them all,” she said as she rolled her eyes at me. She wanted to act like she didn’t care about my grades, but I knew she was proud of me. “I love you too, Daddy. I’ll have her call you as soon as she gets home. Talk to you later,” she said as she hung up the phone.
“Did you tell him about what happened?” I asked, praying that she had enough sense not to worry him.
“Of course not. You know how he overreacts about stuff.”
“Good. You ready to go?” I asked, trying to change the subject.
“Yeah, we better get going. I don’t want to be late,” she said as she slipped the car into reverse.
I’d made plans with her to go over and help babysit Dallas’ kids, so she could take care of some things with her lawyer. Apparently, her insurance company was giving her a hard time about her husband’s life insurance policy, and they didn’t want to give her the full payout. Her family really needed that money, and she had to do whatever she could to make sure they got it.
When we got to her house, Clutch parked his bike in the street out front. I thought he would follow us inside, but he stayed put. He was just sitting there, watching us. I gave him a quick wave as we got out of the car, but I got nothing in return. When I noticed the serious look on his face, I wondered if he was pissed he had to come. I wondered if he thought it was as ridiculous as I did that he even had to be here.
“Don’t worry about it, Henley. He’s just doing his job,” Cassidy assured me as she shut her car door.
“I feel bad. He doesn’t look like he wants to be here and—” I started.
“Henley, stop fretting over Clutch and let’s get inside. Dallas is waiting for us,” she urged.
I looked toward the house and saw that Dallas was already waiting for us at the front door. It was a great little ranch style house with white rockers on the front porch and a big shop in the back. Cassidy told me that Guardrail’s construction company helped her husband build the house several years ago, just before Dusty was born. In the front yard, there was an amazing tree house with swings and a slide, and several bicycles were scattered on the grass.
“Thank you both for coming. I appreciate it more than you could ever know,” Dallas said as she picked up her purse and keys from the side table. “I shouldn’t be long. I think I just have to sign some papers or something, and then I’ll be back.”
“There’s no rush. Take your time,” Cassidy told her. “We’ve been looking forward to babysitting.”
“They’re hanging out in Dusty’s room, playing video games. That should keep them entertained for a little while, and there’s sandwich stuff in the kitchen if they get hungry,” Dallas explained. “Call me if anything comes up.”
“We’ll be fine,” I assured her.
As soon as Dallas pulled out of the driveway, Cassidy said, “I’ll go make up some lunch for them. You go make sure they aren’t up to anything.”
“Gotcha,” I said as I went in search of Dusty’s room. Considering everything that had happened, the house was extremely neat and organized. Everything seemed to have its place. As I walked through the house, the walls were filled with pictures of their family, and each photo told its own story. They were happy, and it broke my heart to see such a precious family destroyed by such a malicious act. Those men really had no idea what that one night, that one act of violence took away from this family. I was looking at one of the most recent pictures of the kids sitting on Skidrow’s motorcycle when the sounds of the children’s voices rumbled down the hallway. When I peeked my head through the doorway, both of them stopped what they were doing and looked at me with mischief in their eyes. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I’d been around enough kids to know something was going on.
“So, what are you guys up to?” I asked, smiling. They looked so adorable sitting there together side by side with their video game controllers in their hands. Looking at them made it hard for me to believe they would ever misbehave.
“Playing Batman. We’re trying to get the bad guys, but Katie won’t do it right,” Dusty complained. His nose crinkled with frustration as he looked over at his sister.
“I am doing it right, Dusty. Stop being such a twerp,” Katie protested. Her face flashed red with anger as she tossed the controller toward Dusty. “You do it. This game is stupid anyway.” She stood up and started for the door. Dusty watched her walk out of the room, his long, blond hair falling into his eyes, almost covering the tiny freckles that dappled the bridge of his nose. I had always heard that Down’s children were extremely lovable and happy, and Dusty certainly fit that description.
“Don’t go, Katie. I wanna play wif’ you,” he pleaded. The sound of his little voice tugged at my heart, and I wished Katie would come back to finish the game. I remember what it was like when Cassidy and I would argue over little things like our Barbie dolls and tea sets. It always killed me when she would storm out of the room, leaving me to play all alone. Dusty was ten years old, and he clearly enjoyed playing with his older sister.
Regrettably, she was officially a teenager with a short fuse and wasn’t willing to listen to him. “We’ve been playing that stupid game for over an hour, Dusty. I need a break,” she huffed just before slamming her bedroom door. I felt certain it wasn’t just the video game that was getting to Katie, so I decided to distract Dusty in hopes of giving her some time to cool off. I walked over to him and placed my hand on top of his head, drawing his attention away from Katie.
“Cassidy is making up some sandwiches for lunch. Are you hungry?”
“Is it peanut butter and jelly?” Dusty asked.
“If that’s what you want, I’m sure Cassidy will make you one.”
“Yay! That’s what I want and wif’ lots of chips… and one of those cherry popsicles, if I clean my plate,” he declared, his eyes bright with excitement.
“You got it,” I answered. His face lit up, and his argument with Katie was totally forgotten. He raced for the kitchen, his little feet clomping on the floor, and sat at the table. A wide smile spread across his face as he watched Cassidy fix his plate. So freaking cute. Happiness radiated off of him, making it impossible not to smile right along with him.
“Yum,” he hummed as soon as Cassidy set his sandwich and chips down in front of him. He grabbed a few chips and shoved them in his mouth. Knowing that he was distracted, I went to go check on Katie.
When I tapped on her door, she mumbled, “Come in.”
“You ok?” I asked. I should’ve left her alone, especially since I didn’t know her very well, but I’ve never been the type to just leave things alone. She was lying on her bed, listening to her iPod.
“I’m fine…. I’m sorry about earlier,” Katie whispered, pulling the headphones from her ears. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind, and there’s only so much Batman I can take.”
“Totally understandable. You’ve had a lot to deal with over the last couple of weeks. I know it’s been hard,” I told her as I sat on the corner of the bed. “Hopefully, things will get better soon.”
“I shouldn’t have been mean to Dusty. He’s having a hard time, too. I just get frustrated with those stupid games. He wants me to win all the time, and I just can’t.”
“Did you know that Batman has some pretty cool cheats? It would make it a lot easier to play it, if you used them.”
“I’ve heard about them, but I’ve never really known how to do it.”
“It isn’t hard, and you can find most of them online. It will let you change Batman’s outfits and skins. You can even choose alternate endings. They aren’t hard to do, and if you want me to, I could show you how to do it,” I offered.
“That’d be so cool. I’m sure Dusty would love it, and I know he could use the distraction. Daddy’s death has really been hard on him. He just doesn’t understand why he isn’t coming home. I’ve tried to explain it to him, but he just keeps expecting him to come walking through the front door,” she said, her voice cracking as tears began to pool in her eyes.
“I’m sure it’s hard on all of you, but in time, it’ll get better. You’ll always miss him. But eventually you’ll be able to find comfort in knowing that your dad loved you both very much, and he’d be here with you if he could.”
“It’s just hard, you know? I’m used to seeing him every single day, and now… he’s just gone. I didn’t even get to tell him goodbye. I know people say that stuff all the time, but I just wish I had five more minutes with him. I don’t know what to do anymore,” she cried with tears shimmering in her eyes.
Seeing her in pain, the tears now streaming down her precious face, made my heart hurt for her. Her tear-soaked eyes looked up at me when I put my hand on her shoulder and said, “You move forward. It’s the only direction God really gives us.”
She nodded with understanding and wiped the tears from her cheeks. I leaned over and gave her a quick hug before I stood up and said, “Let’s grab something to eat, and then I’ll show you some cool tricks to use the next time you play Batman with Dusty.”
“Thanks, Henley. That’d be awesome,” she said as she followed me to the kitchen. After we ate, we spent the next hour going over the cheats I knew for the games they had. We were all sitting around the TV in Dusty’s room, cheering Katie on when Dallas came home. She stopped in his doorway and smiled when she found us huddled on the floor together.
“Did you get it worked out?” Cassidy asked as she pulled herself up off the floor.
“I think so. The lawyer said if nothing else comes up, I should have my check by the end of the week.”
“That’s great, Dallas. I’m sure you’re relieved,” I told her as Cassidy reached out her hand and helped me up.
“You have no idea. Daniel always paid all the bills, so I’m a little overwhelmed,” her eyes dropped to the ground as she got lost in the memory of her husband.
“I could help you if you need it,” I offered. “I’m pretty good with numbers.”
“Really? That would be great. I need all the help I can get right now, and thanks again for coming today. It really helped me out.”
“Can they come back and play wif’ me?” Dusty interrupted, jumping up and down with excitement.
“Of course they can, buddy. Someday real soon, but right now, I need to head over to the clubhouse for a bit. I just talked to Clutch, and he said they could fix the car if I brought it over to the garage. It’s been making that funny noise again,” she explained. I’d forgotten he was even here until she said his name. I looked out the window toward the front yard, and he was still sitting there on his bike, doing his thing, and he still didn’t look happy about being there.
“Awesome. Can I go wif’ you?” Dusty begged.
“You have to be a good boy… no touching anything,” she warned.
“I pomis’.” His face lit up when he realized she was going to let him go. I was glad he still had that part of his dad. The club would always be there for him.
“Can I stay here?” Katie asked. “I want to try the rest of these tricks Henley gave me.”
“No, Katie. I’m not leaving you alone, at least not yet,” her mother said as she placed her arm around Katie’s shoulder, pulling her close to her chest.
“We better get going,” I told them, heading toward the door.
Cassidy and I gave them each a hug before we left. As we were pulling out of their driveway, I thought about how ironic today had actually been. We were there to help them out and to raise their spirits, but I left there feeling better than I had in weeks.