Chapter Six
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Not only did Devon smell divine, his truck had that new leather scent she found pleasant.
Devon glanced over at her before starting the truck. “During dinner we need to remember that the walls have ears.”
Vinea thought she detected a hint of humor coupled with the warning, which to her implied kindness. “I promise not to say the words Changeling, sardonyx, or armored car heist.”
He smiled then fired up the engine. “Good. You warm enough?” he asked as his fingers hovered over the heater knob.
“I could use a bit more warmth.”
“Don’t tell me the dark realm really is as hot as hell?”
She laughed. “No. For centuries humans have fabricated what they imagine their version of hell is—heat, brimstone, and men with horns running around. I can assure you, none of that is true. It’s far worse, but I don’t think discussing the various realms at dinner would be wise either.”
He flashed a grin, and butterflies tumbled in her body. She had to stop reacting so viscerally to him. She’d end up saying something like she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, and then he’d run for sure. Until Devon trusted her, she couldn’t chance even bestowing a kiss on him. It would kill her to wait when she wanted him so badly, but she had to be patient.
A few minutes later they arrived at the Lake Steakhouse. At night, the restaurant appeared almost glamorous with its rope lights bordering the door and windows. “It looks so festive.”
He stopped in front of the entrance. “It’s the best Silver Lake has to offer. While I park, how about waiting in the lobby where it’s warm?” To punctuate his comment, a few snow flurries kissed the windshield.
That was considerate of him, but she didn’t want him to think she was delicate. If she had any chance of a new start with Devon, he needed to see her as someone worthy of being with him—an equal more or less. Regardless of what life had dealt her these last six months, she was a survivor, and Devon McKinnon deserved someone who wouldn’t crack under pressure or adversity. “I’m good.”
“Suit yourself.”
They parked in back and by the time they rushed down the back alley to the front of the restaurant, her nose was nearly frozen. It would take a few winters for her to get used to the chilly air.
Lit candles sat on each table, making the restaurant romantic, and the paneled walls and shelves lined with glassware and artwork created an upscale vibe. The hostess gushed over Devon and then sat them close to the bar. Apparently, the name McKinnon held a lot of weight in this town. Vinea could only hope that if they did mate, the town accepted her as well. It was what Devon deserved.
While she’d been on a few dates in the last six months, in the back of her mind, Vinea always believed she’d end up here—with Devon. It was why she never even considered a serious relationship with anyone else.
He helped her off with her coat and then slipped off his. Once seated, he unfolded his white napkin, removed the steak knife, and then placed it next to his plate. The waiter rushed over to take their drink orders. While alcohol didn’t affect her much, she opted for coffee. Most likely she’d be up all night anyway going through the conversation they were about to have, so she might as well enjoy the caffeine.
“So tell me,” Devon said. “How did you end up in Silver Lake? I would have thought this would be the last place you’d want to return to.”
“I told you. I needed to apologize to you. I hurt you and your friends, and I wanted to make amends for the pain I caused.” Vinea waited to see if he believed her.
“Why else?”
While she’d expected the doubt, she was hoping for a different outcome. “That’s it. My life has changed dramatically since we last met.”
“How so?” His hand curled around the knife handle. That wasn’t good.
Even though she’d practiced what she’d wanted to say to him for so long, her brain was moving too fast to remember much of it. “After I set up Zane Hunter, I was about to kill him when my life passed in front of my eyes. It’s clichéd, but it’s the truth. Trust me, I didn’t like what I saw one bit. I was so upset that I ran. I know now that I should have stayed and tried to help him, but I think Missy was just as happy that I left.”
“I imagine she was. Where did you go?”
“With no destination in mind, I jumped into my stolen car and headed south.” He flinched at the word stolen.
“Why not fly somewhere?”
Now came for the embarrassing part. “I would have, but my powers had taken a nosedive. After the cleansing, nothing seemed to be working. Even the force field I had erected in front of the cave couldn’t remain active. It was how Missy was able to escape and toss that powder-like substance on the demon. How it killed him I have no idea.”
“I heard something like that had happened. Were you scared?”
“Scared of seeing a demon melt or of losing my powers?”
He chuckled. “I was referring to the loss of powers, but I imagine seeing someone turn to dust would be disturbing too.”
“The dust thing was actually cool—or at least I thought so at the time. The demon deserved to die.” Devon acted as if he cared about her state of mind. “As for losing my powers, I was petrified. Our life down there is defined by our abilities. Take that away, and I became nothing. Fortunately, some of my powers have returned.”
“That’s good, I guess.”
She glanced off to the side and inhaled. “You want to know what really scared the crap out of me?” He nodded. “It was my sudden concern for others.”
“Like when you tried to kill Zane?” he said, his lips thinning and his brows pinching.
Shit. This wasn’t going as well as she’d hoped. “No. As I said, growing a conscience didn’t come on suddenly, but rather in bits and pieces. I felt it building, but I wasn’t sure how to handle it. Hell, I didn’t even know if I could deal with the ramifications. Remember, I spent almost my entire life being cruel. Realizing what I had done all those years was wrong, really tore at my very soul. When I had that knife in my hand, the truth of my actions hit me squarely in the face. I couldn’t kill him.” Devon said nothing. “You don’t believe me, do you?”
“On Earth, we judge people by their actions and not by how much power they have or by what they say they’ll do.”
He didn’t answer her question, but hopefully he’d judge her by the fact she dropped the knife instead of using it. “I get it. Words mean nothing if my actions don’t back it up. It’s why I want to help you—to show you I’m serious.”
“I’m glad.” From the way his jaw tightened, he was trying to placate her.
She leaned forward. “I know it’s hard to understand, but remember I was a goddess of the dark. Without my evil thoughts, who was I? It’s scary having your entire world turn upside down.”
“I imagine that’s true. Have you figured things out now?” Each word came out controlled and rather forced.
Wasn’t that what she’d been trying to explain to him? “Yes.”
“And you want nothing to do with your old life?”
“No.” What more could she do to convince him?
“Let me ask you this. Could you return to your former home now if you’d wanted to?” This time, his words held more curiosity than anger.
“Perhaps, but I have no desire to return.”
Devon adjusted his placemat and silverware, and she let him think. He finally looked up at her, his eyes nearly black. “As long as you’re baring your soul, why did you target Sam Pompley? I’ve always been curious how you found out about his abilities.”
His bitterness ate at her, but it was what she deserved. “The second question is easy. His powers are legendary. Just because I’d never been to Silver Lake before then—at least not in my human form—doesn’t mean other gods or goddesses of the dark haven’t been here. One goddess in particular, Darinda, was the one who discovered his abilities. She was playing around with some of the Changelings and actually watched the guards walk away from their bunker—a bunker they were supposed to protect. I believe the Changelings had stolen some Wendayan magic and Sam was helping to get it back, right?”
“Yes. Kip’s brother had his magic taken from him.”
“I’m sorry. Because Darinda was impressed by his prowess, when she returned to the dark realm, she told everyone what he could do.”
Devon fiddled with his fork. “And that was when you decided you’d like to have power like his?”
She didn’t like the scorn in his voice, but she couldn’t blame him for having a negative attitude. “Yes.”
“Was it in order to make Naliana do what you want?”
Vinea stilled, not expecting him to be so smart. “In small part yes, but mostly I needed something that would allow me to curry favor with my boss—Androf.”
“Sounds like you were ambitious.”
“I guess that is as good a way as any to explain it.”
“If you were this high and mighty goddess, why involve Justin Kapok to help you with Sam?” he asked.
Talking about her past wasn’t one of her favorite topics, but Devon deserved answers. “I needed Sam incapacitated first so that I could carve out his magic with my special crystal knife. It’s not like I can fight. My powers aren’t strong enough.” She shivered at that gruesome thought of actually removing someone’s powers. How had she even considered doing something so terrible?
“Carving out someone’s magic is horrific,” he said, his eyes narrowing.
“I know, but it is how the dark gods do it. It was as if I was on autopilot all those years, obeying my boss, not thinking about why I did things. Feelings only got in the way.”
He sipped his drink. “And yet you claim to have feelings now?”
“I do. I was cleansed, remember?”
Devon held up a hand. “Fair enough. Where did you meet Justin? Did he know you were a goddess?” Bitterness tinged his tone. Dare she hope he was jealous?
“No! I happened to run into him when I was on another assignment. When I learned he liked to gamble, I figured he could be of use to me.” She held up a hand. “Trust me—my days of using others are over.”
He clenched the napkin on the table and curled his lips. “Yet you got a job at a casino just to set him up?”
“I don’t see why that’s important now. I hate myself, okay?” Talking about her horrible deeds burned a hole in her stomach.
“I just want to understand you, to learn what you had to go through to get where you are today.” His tone softened, and hope surged. It was almost as if her outburst had punctured a hole in his balloon.
“How can learning about what a terrible person I was help you understand me now?” she shot back.
“I think it’s obvious.” His voice came out tight again. Damn her and her big mouth. She hadn’t meant to attack.
Only because Devon wanted to know about her dark side did she continue—with great reluctance. “All right, I’ll tell you, but it doesn’t paint me in a good light.” His brows rose, but she didn’t defend herself. Nothing she’d done so far made her look good. How much worse could it get? “I mentioned when we were in Vermont that I worked at an Indian casino. My goal was to worm my way into Justin’s good graces. I wanted to have him willing to help me when and if I needed him.” Her voice trailed off at the memory of what she’d been like.
“You were something else.” His harsh tone cut her.
“I know. I was pure evil. I can’t change the past.”
“How did Lexi fit into the scheme of things?”
While she could feel Devon rethinking this date, she wanted to finish the history lesson and move on. “I overheard Justin talking about winning her in a poker game, but apparently, she managed to skip town before he collected his winnings. I figured I could help with retrieving her.” Just saying those words made her realize that no one would forgive her—certainly not Devon.
“Go on,” he said through gritted teeth.
“After a few well placed questions and a couple of fly overs I found her.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Were you responsible for the men who robbed her?”
She glanced down at her lap. “I’m afraid so. Sam was in Silver Lake, and I needed Lexi to become stranded there. At the time I thought I was being quite clever.” She hoped he could tell her sarcasm was really self-loathing in disguise.
“You are devious.”
“I was devious.”
Devon leaned back and lifted a palm. “I stand corrected. And thank you for the explanation.”
That was it? While his tone had softened, she wasn’t convinced she’d made any headway. “You’re welcome, I think.”
“Now that you’ve answered my questions about your past, I have another one.”
“Anything.” She didn’t want there to be any secrets between them.
“This may sound strange, but I need to ask. If you’re Naliana’s sister, how did you end up with the last name Summer? I thought Naliana said they don’t have last names where she comes from.”
“I needed one to get a job, so I made it up.”
“I never thought about that. Why Summer?”
“My life began the day I met the pink quartz at the bottom of the lake. It was summer time, and I figured it was as good a name as any.”
His brows rose, and she swore one side of his mouth quirked upward. “I like it.”
Some of the tension in her chest that had built up released. “Thanks. Before you ask what I’ve been doing since that dip in the lake six months ago, I’ve been in survival mode and have had to be creative.”
“Creative?”
“Yes, when answering people’s questions, like where have I lived for the last thirty years, or how old I am?”
Devon stared at her. “I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to reinvent yourself.”
He understood? “Yes. Even telling a lie bothers me now, if you can believe that.”
He finally smiled. “As a matter of fact I can.”
Relief, and a rush of giddiness, sped through her, and she couldn’t help but smile back.
Their drinks magically appeared in front of them, and Devon held up his beer. “To new beginnings?”
Hope surfaced, but his hesitant reaction told her he wasn’t ready to forgive her completely—yet.
“To new beginnings.”
She sipped her hot coffee, enjoying the rich brew while Devon downed most of his beer. His nerves were probably as taut as hers.
“So where exactly did you go after you left Silver Lake the last time?” Devon asked.
She set down her coffee and twirled the cup. “Once I left Silver Lake, I headed south with no clear destination. I’d just crossed the Georgia border when I had to stop for gas. When I went inside to pay, I heard two men making a fuss near my car, and I got a real bad feeling about it. As I ran out, both men jumped in my vehicle and took off.”
“They stole your stolen car?” Devon raised an eyebrow, and she felt her cheeks heat at the hidden reprimand.
“Yes.”
“I do like the irony of it all. What did you do then?”
“What could I do? The car was stolen; I couldn’t exactly go to the cops.”
“I guess justice was doled out.”
“It was. I figured Androf was pissed that I hadn’t returned and sent these men to do me harm.”
His brows rose. “Androf? Oh yes, your down under boss.”
“Yes.”
“Then what?”
“I was tempted to disappear and pick a new location, but there were too many people around. In fact, the cashier saw the whole thing and offered to call the police for me. I laughed it off saying one of the men was my boyfriend trying to teach me a lesson. In truth, I was so upset that I didn’t know what to do.”
“You must have done something.” His voice came out a whisper as if he was reliving her nightmare along with her.
“I walked into town and stopped at the Billard Eatery for a cup of coffee to think and plan. That’s where I met the woman who would become my best friend. Her name is EmmaLee Donovan. She’s a waitress who looked more down and out than I was. I figured if she was surviving, so could I.”
“I would have thought you’d be so frustrated that you’d break down and cry.”
“A normal woman might have, but remember, feelings were new to me. I was confused more than anything. I understood that something major was happening to me—namely the evil was being sucked out of my body. That meant my emotions were all over the place. I’ll admit that when I was at the bottom of the lake, I felt something amazing transpire. It was a feeling I hadn’t had since being kicked out of the light realm, and it scared the hell out of me.”
He flashed a grin, and she quickly caught on to the double entendre. She shot him back a small smile.
“I can only imagine that you needed time to think. Nothing was as it should be.” He stunned her with his compassion.
“Totally. When I saw EmmaLee running around like crazy waiting on impatient people and smiling at them, it gave me hope for some reason.”
“People like her inspire me too.”
“We started talking, and I told her I needed a place to stay until I could figure out my life. She actually offered me her sofa. Her trailer was a step above where I’m currently staying, but I wanted to be on my own. I appreciated the gesture immensely.” She leaned back and smiled. “EmmaLee was so open and trusting that I told her my whole story.”
Devon polished off his beer. “The whole story? As in what you tried to do to Sam and Zane?”
“Not at first. I started off by telling her I was a goddess.”
“And she believed you?”
“Yes. There were things I could do to prove that.”
“And she didn’t think you were performing some kind of parlor trick?” Devon asked.
“Believe it or not she didn’t.”
“How did she react when you told her more?”
“That didn’t go over so well at first, possibly because I might have glossed over my failure with Sam, but I did tell her about you and my role in trying to send Zane back home.”
“I’m not sure I’d have been so open. Admitting how horrible you were couldn’t have been easy.”
Her heart melted at his words. “It wasn’t, but if I wanted a fresh start, I needed to tell her everything. I trusted EmmaLee to keep her mouth shut, despite the fact she was doing research on the existence of shifters at the time.”
“Really?” His brows furrowed. “What makes you think she won’t tell the world about goddesses?”
“She won’t. She knows how dangerous it can be. She said meeting me was the best thing to happen to her in her life.”
“I guess you can never know when you meet someone how important that person will become to you.” He looked deep into her eyes, and Vinea was tempted to suggest they leave and find a more intimate place so they could learn more about each other. But she wouldn’t. Not yet.
Reality then crept in. He wasn’t talking about her and how important she was to him. He couldn’t be. Evil goddesses didn’t change a person for the good. Sure, he was a werewolf, and as such would know if they were mates, but since he wasn’t anxious to be with her, they probably weren’t mates after all. Damn. She had been so sure of it.
Vinea had to stop dwelling on the future and worry about not widening the trust gap between them. “You’re right. EmmaLee changed my life.”
He nodded. “What have you been doing for the last six months then?” he asked.
“Since I needed money, I got a job. Unfortunately, my skills were limited.”
“Seriously?”
She appreciated that he thought she had skills. “I’d picked up a few things along the way about computers, how to drive, and how to deal cards, but not much else. About all I could do well was to wipe down tables and wash dishes. You see, we were given missions, and we did them. That’s all. There weren’t universities where I’m from.”
“I would imagine not, but you’re good with people. Why not try a sales job?”
“I wasn’t given an opportunity to advance myself in the traditional way, and I didn’t know if I’d be good enough.”
“I’m sorry.”
She didn’t need his sympathy. “Don’t forget I was imbued with hate and evil, and I didn’t believe those people skills you think I have would translate well here.” She kept her voice low. No need for the rest of the customers to hear how bad she had been. “For most of my time living below, I did what I was told since the consequences for failure were dire. As a matter of fact, my boss came to visit me right after I was hired at the diner and informed me of that fact.”
“You mean your former, dark realm boss?”
“Shh.” Once more she looked around. “Yes. Someday I’ll tell you about that unpleasant conversation. Let’s say I was relieved when he left without killing me.”
“I thought you were…” He leaned forward and whispered, “immortal.”
“I’m not sure what I am anymore. I do know that I’m aging just like every other human, so I have a feeling I might be even less immortal than you.”
“Me?”
“Well, you do heal quickly.”
“That hardly makes me immortal, though it might keep me alive a bit longer than the average human.”
The waiter stopped by for their order. Vinea wasn’t really hungry because her stomach was still in knots, fearing she’d mess something up with Devon. So far, he hadn’t called her a liar or a thief, so she considered that a positive. “I’ll have a six ounce prime rib, medium.”
“Very good. And for you, sir?”
“The Lake Steakhouse special, also medium and another beer.”
“Thank you.” The waiter jotted down their order and left.
Devon studied her for a moment. “Being a goddess, I know you can alter your appearance with a swipe of your hand, disappear, and teleport. Is there anything else can you do?”
“Heal people, but that talent is new. Ever since Naliana shot that light through me, it’s been getting stronger and stronger by the day.”
“You sound as if that’s not a good thing.”
“No, it is good, but it takes a toll on me. Every time I help someone, I wonder if I’ll be able to survive it. So far, I’ve only helped those who weren’t in serious need.”
His brows pinched. “What if someone were dying?”
She liked the protective tone to his voice. “Then I might die.”