By definition, friends were people who shared common interests and did things together. They could talk about anything from movies to politics and engage in respectful debate when they disagreed. They could jog or go to the gym or have sex or—wait. No. Most friends didn’t have sex. Sex crossed a line from friends to friends with benefits and dared you to try out new labels like “boyfriend.” None of those fit whatever Leo and I were to each other. But it was equally challenging to explain the former boss and employee turned lovers angle. Especially to my happily engaged brother who wanted details about the new man in my life.

“Can you come to dinner tonight?”

I stretched my calf and kept an eye out for Leo at the entrance to Central Park on 60^th and Fifth Avenue. We took advantage of the extended daylight in early June and the warmer temperatures by meeting after work to run in the park a few days a week. We varied our routes. Sometimes we jogged in his neighborhood through Tribeca and down to Battery Park. It depended on our schedules. Mine was more flexible than Leo’s.

I’d signed on with a small brokerage firm in Brooklyn owned by a friend of a friend of Tony’s cousin, Mario. There may have been another cousin connection in between, but I tuned out the static and concentrated on learning a new market and building a pipeline. I split my time between my studio apartment and the Park Slope office, making endless phone calls and doing whatever I could to get my name out there. I’d started in May and after four weeks, a couple of my sales were finally beginning to close. Actually, my first one closed today. Nothing too crazy, but it was a start.

“I can’t tonight. I’m in Manhattan.” I waved when I saw Leo walking toward me.

“With your friend,” Remy singsonged. “Bring him. He should meet the family.”

“No. He shouldn’t. We’re just friends.”

“Bullshit. You practically live together.”

“What? We do not!” I replied indignantly.

“Sure you do. How often do you wake up in your own bed these days?”

The answer was almost never. But I didn’t want to get into that now. “All the time,” I lied.

“Hey, don’t get mad. I think it’s cool. I also think I should meet him. I’m your brother.”

I huffed. “You’re making this into something it’s not. I have to go. He’s here.”

“Tell him I said hi.”

“I will.”

“No, tell him now while I’m on the phone,” Remy insisted.

I rolled my eyes and let out an exasperated sigh that quickly turned into a grin when Leo slipped his arm around my waist and kissed me. I was dizzy when he released me and almost forgot Remy was still on the line. “My brother says hello.”

“Hello.” Leo’s deep voice moved through me. How did he make that one little word sound so naughty?

“Hi,” I said, utterly dazzled. I returned his kiss with fervor and belatedly realized Remy might still be on the line. I stepped back and shot an apologetic look at Leo. “Sorry, Rem.”

Remy hooted loudly. Leo raised his brow in amusement. “No prob. I’ll shoot you a text about dinner. Talk to you later.”

I tucked my phone into my workout shorts and smiled. “Hi. Do you need to stretch?”

“No, I stretched at the office. I’m ready to run when you are.”

Leo started down the pathway, passing an a cappella group singing a Billy Joel classic. The warm breeze and beautiful scenery beat running on a treadmill in a sweaty gym any day of the week. I still went for the weight training, but I preferred running outside whenever possible. I never minded going alone, but Leo was surprisingly easy company.

In the past few weeks since I’d woken on his sofa, we’d become—dare I say it? Friends. Well, friends who had a lot of amazing sex. I loved that part but I was in awe of the friendship. I’d never had it with a lover before. My brother was my best friend and while I had other buddies, I sure as hell never wanted to sleep with them. Leo was special.

We spent a good amount of our time together. We shared meals, went to a couple of Broadway shows, and we jogged. We used our jogging time to chat about our respective days before launching into one of our “get to know you” conversations. We talked about family and religion sometimes or other topics he seemed to avoid when eye contact was involved. We never delved too deeply, but I’d learned enough to make me think he carried his past heavily.

I took whatever he offered. The sexy timbre of his voice lulled me. Leo didn’t waste words. He always said what he meant. When I’d worked for him, I’d thought he was callous and calculated. Now I thought his carefully considered speech was an amazing gift. And it kept me from worrying about my own past and uncertain future. We were like each other’s therapists. We talked and listened and sometimes we were quiet. As much as I wanted to know Leo, I loved the silences too. I’d never enjoyed them in the past; I was constantly on a mission to fill the void. Just being in the moment was difficult sometimes.

“How was your day?”

“Good. We set a date to start filming next month.”

“That’s awesome!”

“We’re sticking with thirty minutes and showing two high-end properties. It’s been done a dozen times already, so I’m trying to think of ways to keep the script fresh. How’s the real estate game in Brooklyn?” he asked.

“Fabulous. In fact, I officially sold my first house in New York City today.”

Leo stopped abruptly and pulled me into a bear hug. “Congratulations, baby. That’s incredible!”

The “baby” thing was new too. He said it in bed all the time, but it had begun seeping into everyday life in the past week or so. And yeah, I fucking loved it.

I returned his embrace then stepped back to give him a big-ass grin. “Thank you.”

Leo laughed. “You look like you want to do a happy dance.”

I nodded then busted out one of my best G-rated club moves. Leo guffawed as I shook my ass in the middle of the path. Passersby chuckled at my antics, but I only had eyes for Leo. I’d do this all day and all night if he’d just keep looking at me like I was someone extraordinary.

I shimmied then posed with my hands in the air and at the last second did an impromptu cartwheel for my grand finale. A middle-aged couple paused to clap when I bowed, which sent Leo into a new round of laughter.

“Thank you, thank you. Try the veal. I’ll be here all week,” I said in my best stand-up comedian voice.

“You can even do cartwheels, eh?” Leo ruffled my hair affectionately as I dusted off my hands.

“Anyone can do a cartwheel, Leelo,” I snorted, trying a new nickname out for him.

“I can’t.”

“Sure you can. I’ll teach you.”

“Another time. I’d rather not fall on my ass. I’m not as graceful as you.” he scoffed.

“Ha! No one has ever called me graceful. I’m better known for making a fool of myself at whim. It gets worse when I’m hungry. What do you want for dinner tonight, Leelo?”

“Leelo? You just made that up, eh?”

I waggled my eyebrows. “Yeah, it’s cute.”

Leo huffed in faux annoyance and rolled his eyes. “We should celebrate. Let’s try the new Indian place around the corner from my building,” he suggested as he started a light jog.

“Okay. Or we could stay in. I was going to make Italian, but I could try something fancier.”

“Like chili?”

I barked a quick laugh. “Chili isn’t fancy. Besides, it needs time to simmer. I’ll make it for you on a weekend or when you can get off work earlier to give me access to your killer kitchen.”

Leo stopped again. I furrowed my brow and jogged backward. Before I could ask what the holdup was, he pulled a key from his pocket and placed it in my hand. “Come whenever you want.”

I bit my lip to stave off a strong wave of emotion. I was overwhelmed and didn’t know what to say, so I smiled and put it in my pocket. “Thank you.”

Leo brushed a stray piece of hair from my forehead and kissed my nose then my lips. “Ready to run?”

“Yeah.”

I paused to make room for an older woman walking her dog. When Leo moved ahead, I slipped my hand back into my pocket and traced the edges of the key with my thumb. He gave me his key. This was a big fucking deal. Right? It wasn’t something he’d do without giving it some thought. The funny thing was, after the mess I’d left back home with Syd, the symbolic gesture alone should have scared the hell out of me. But I wasn’t afraid and I should have been because the ridiculous grin on my face, the butterflies in my stomach, and the lightness in my heart indicated a bigger problem. I was falling hard for Leo.

* * *

Chili preparation was serious business. It required the freshest ingredients and the perfect blend of spices. Heavy on the chili pepper, of course. I bopped my hips to the Ed Sheeran song playing the background as I sautéed vegetables in a skillet on Leo’s commercial-grade stove. It was a Saturday afternoon in early summer. Not exactly the time of year I associated with comfort food like chili, but the torrential downpour changed my mind. The gray skies, strong wind, and nonstop rain made a lazy day at home seem like a smart option. But if you could hang out at your friend-with-benefit’s penthouse in the clouds, who also happened to be the guy you were fucking crazy about, even better.

“Something smells good,” Leo said, pulling a black T-shirt over his damp hair as he rounded the kitchen island.

I glanced up and let my gaze shamelessly roam over his taut abs before he covered them. He grabbed a water bottle then leaned against me and peered over my shoulder. I sniffed the air around him appreciatively. He smelled clean like soap and peppermint. “Mmm. I think it’s you,” I hummed. “Want to help chop onions?”

“No thanks.” Leo frowned. “Onions will mess with my pleasing aroma. Give me another job.”

I scoffed and turned to give him the full force of my mega eye-roll. “There are no other jobs left, Pepé Le Pew. Get chopping.”

“Fine,” he huffed like a cranky kid who’d been told he couldn’t play until his chores were finished. “How do I do this?”

“Just chop.” I handed him a knife and an onion before moving back to the stove. “Have fun. When you’re done, open the cans of beans. I’ll be ready for assembly soon.”

“Then what?” he asked as he shucked the outer layer of the onion off.

“Then it simmers for a few hours. I bought some fresh bread and wine too.”

“Sounds great. How’d you get to be such a good cook?”

“I like to cook, but I’m not really that good. My repertoire is sadly limited. This chili is the only real standout, and it’s my grandmother’s recipe, so she gets the credit.” I stopped when I noticed him scrunching his nose and blinking madly. “Are you okay?”

“Onions.”

“Ah. I hate to see a big guy cry. If you hold your breath, it helps,” I offered.

“What kind of advice is that? I’m a slow chopper. I might pass out here.”

“Oh brother, I think you’ll be fine. You’re making those too big.” I held my hands up in surrender and snickered when he gave me a dirty look. “Hey, you’re the one who said you like onions finely chopped.”

“I did?”

“Yeah. The night I fell asleep on your chest listing chili ingredients.”

“I remember it well.” Leo grinned affectionately. “And in spite of your nasty temper and your general stubbornness, I knew I liked you that night.”

“I don’t have a nasty temper.” I huffed in amusement at Leo’s “Yeah, right” look before continuing. “I think I’ve kept too much bottled inside. Not lately though. I feel like I can say what I think with you.”

“Of course you can. I’d be pissed if you didn’t say what was on your mind. And you oughta know by now that I don’t cut onions for just anybody.” Leo winced and then wiped at his eye with the back of his hand. “Fuck, these things are killin’ me.”

“Baby,” I chided.

“I’d beg you to take over but I think I’m done. You want me to open the canned beans now?”

I nodded then turned down the heat under the burner and added the onions and then the ground beef. I kept my gaze focused on the meal I was preparing, but my head was whirling in a few directions at once. I loved the intimate feeling of cooking on a rainy afternoon with a sexy man and a romantic soundtrack in the background. Leo seemed happy too and that was enough for now. But I was so…curious and suddenly, a little unsure. For the first time in a while, I was afraid to say what was on my mind. It was too sappy, too clingy, and maybe more than he was ready to hear. So I covered my growing angst with mindless chatter.

“Did I tell you I ran into Nora at the market in Park Slope? I had no idea she lived there. It’s a small world. I was in the spice aisle and she was buying brownie mix. Shoot. I think I told her I was making chili with you. Is that okay?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

I shrugged. “I thought you liked keeping your personal life on the down-low.”

“I do but I’m out, and it’s not a secret. Besides, Nora’s my secretary. She knows more about me than I do sometimes.”

“And she’s protective. She almost bit my head off when I asked if you two were ever a thing.”

“What the fuck?” Leo’s forehead creased in bewilderment.

“It was months ago. I was just making conversation but I hit a nerve. She said there were rumors after your divorce but that’s all they were…rumors.”

Leo huffed incredulously. “Such a doubter. You want to see my gay card?”

I chuckled. “Do you have one of those?”

“I do. It’s glittery as fuck but the thing is, I’m not glittery at all. Just gay.”

“Then why were you married at all? And…how did you do the sex part of marriage if you weren’t attracted to your wife?” I blurted.

“Are you askin’ how I got it up?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, Leelo, how’d you get it up?”

“I didn’t.”

“Never?”

“Nothing to write home about.”

“Did you have to think about a guy while you—”

“Are we really talking about this?” Leo asked, furrowing his brow.

“Why not? You want me to say whatever is on my mind. I’m curious. How did you get to the altar? And why? It sounds like torture to be in bed with someone you don’t want to touch.”

He didn’t answer right away. When he did, he kept his head down and his voice low. “I thought it would be okay in the short-term. Business-wise and personally, it would keep a lot of people happy.”

I emptied the beans into the chili pot before glancing over my shoulder. “Like who?”

“My boss, my parents. It was just another sales job, Reeve. Trade, beg, borrow, and steal. You want a piece of me? What do you got in return? Let’s make a deal. That’s what I did. I made a deal to get my place back in my family. I made another to close the biggest contract I’d ever sniffed.”

“When? What contract?”

Leo sighed heavily. “It was over five years ago. I sold a penthouse on Fifth Avenue to a developer who was building a new residential complex near Highline Park. I wanted to be the listing agent for the premier units and he was all for it. But his partner wanted to give it to Jenny’s ex. McAllister was livid. It became personal for him. He wanted justice in the form of a contract, and he wanted his new son-in-law to be the winner.”

“Son-in-law? I don’t understand.”

“I married the boss’s daughter. Jenny McAllister.”

What the fuck? My mouth hung wide open for what felt like a full minute.

“That’s so…ew.” Not exactly eloquent, but it was the best I could come up with while reeling in shock.

“I wasn’t crazy about the idea but—”

“Then why did you do it?”

“Why the fuck not? I had nothing to lose. And it was business. Don’t feel bad for Jenny. She was in on it too. It was only going to be a year, max. Then everyone would walk away with a win.”

“What did you win?”

“A contract, recognition, my parents’ respect, and more money than I ever dreamed of. But it wasn’t exactly smooth sailing afterward. The divorce didn’t feel like a business transaction the way the marriage did. It felt like failure. Jenny hoped to cure the gay and obviously, it didn’t happen. My parents were sympathetic about the divorce but when Jenny told them it was because she’d married a homosexual…I was back to square one with them too. So in the win column, I got richer. In the loss column…let’s just say I still occasionally battle self-respect and self-loathing issues. And sometimes I have a bad feeling that the money sitting in my bank account isn’t doing me any real favors.”

The rain tapping against the windowpane softened the strains of the piano in the Coldplay song playing in the background. I clung to the soothing sounds, hoping they’d help calm the rising turbulence I sensed in him.

“That’s so…”

“Pathetic, evil, abhorrent? I never said I was a good guy, Reeve. I’m just the fucker who survived an accident that by rights should have killed me too. I’ve been boxing my way out of a corner for a long time. I’ve worked my ass off and—”

“You were lucky,” I supplied quickly.

“Yeah. But are you really lucky if you feel trapped by your good fortune?” Leo waltzed around the island and spread his arms wide. “Look at this place. Do you like it?”

I nodded slowly. His burst of intensity made me uneasy. This wasn’t a product of work-related agitation. This was personal. A systematic unraveling of sorts. I had no idea where he was going with this, but I felt the need to be near him and if possible, protect him from himself.

“Yes,” I answered.

“Does it make you happy?”

“No. It’s just a place to live.”

Leo quirked his brow. I was relieved to see the twinkle in his eyes as his shoulders visibly relaxed. “And you sell real estate?”

I smiled tentatively. “Yes, but I’ve always known the difference between a house and a home, Leo.”

Silence. He looked momentarily stunned by my words. “A house and a home,” he repeated.

“They aren’t the same thing.”

“You’re right.” Leo moved toward me and set his thumb under my chin. “I like this place when you’re here. It smells good and feels right. Not too big, not too small. It’s comfortable but there’s room to grow. You fit here.”

“Thank you,” I replied almost shyly. I was overwhelmed by his poignant honesty and unsure how to return it with like currency.

“I’m the one who should thank you. I don’t know how. I don’t know what to give you or what to say.”

“I don’t want anything.”

“I know. And I can’t figure it out. Everyone wants something but you…you walk away when things don’t fit in your life. A job, a relationship. Hey, I don’t mean it in a bad way”—he tightened his hold on my chin when I tried to pull away—“it takes a lot of balls to do that. It takes a strength of character above and beyond the norm to say, ‘Fuck it, I can do better.’ You’re the lucky one, Reeve. I wish I knew how to make something”—he gestured to the chili simmering on the stove behind us—“or do something to show you…”

“Show me what?” I prodded.

“Gratitude.” The word hung in the air between us like sweet perfume. Leo gave a shy lopsided smile then continued. “I’m grateful you had the balls to stand up to me, to walk away from money and stress and bullshit you didn’t want in your life. And I’m blown away that you’re here with me on a crappy day making dinner. I guess I’m sayin’ it’s nice not to feel so alone. It’s been a long time.”

Tears welled in my eyes. I blinked furiously, hoping to avoid any embarrassing emotional waterworks. I wasn’t a crier, but I was moved by his rawness and sincerity. People trembled when this man walked into a room. I’d seen it myself. Hell, I’d done it myself. But he let me see another side of him too. He was scarred and battered and bruised but fuck…he was so damn beautiful.

I caressed his face and traced his scar before sealing my mouth over his. The kiss was sweet but insistent. And the moment he licked my lips and slid his tongue inside, the heat kicked up a few notches. We sucked and licked furiously as our fingers raked down backs and through hair. When I bit Leo’s shoulder, he flinched and smacked my ass.

“Bed. I need to be inside you.”

He held my hand and pulled me down the hallway to the master suite. We stopped at the edge of the king-sized bed to remove T-shirts, shorts, and boxer briefs and kick off our shoes before falling sideways onto the mattress naked. And damn, just this was amazing. I loved the feel of his skin against mine. I breathed him in then hooked my right leg over his thigh and jutted my hips upward in a quest for friction.

“Don’t make me wait. I want you.”

Leo licked my jaw then balanced his weight on one elbow and slipped his hand between us. He gripped our erections, brushing his thumb over the tip of our cocks to smear precum over both of us. It felt amazing. He knew exactly what it took to make me crazy. I was seconds from begging when he rolled to his side to stroke me as he humped my upper thigh and sucked my tongue. I lifted my hips to the tempo he set and threw my head back on the pillow.

He released me abruptly then pressed two fingers to my lips. “Suck.”

I obeyed and then spread my legs wide. Leo massaged my hole and flicked my nipple with the tip of his tongue. The onslaught of sensation was heady but it wasn’t enough.

“Fuck me. Please.”

He moved over me immediately, straddling my chest as he reached for the bottle of lube on the end table. I grabbed his cock at the base and sucked, loving his cry of surprise and pleasure somewhere above me. Leo loved blowjobs. They were a daily occurrence—in the shower, watching TV, or just hanging out on the sofa. Hell, I’d even blown him in the back seat of his car. I could happily do this while I jerked myself off, but I wanted more.

Leo inched back to kneel between my thighs. He spread lube over his fingers and my cock then pushed a single digit inside. He praised me with a soft cooing sound as he gently moved in and out. Then he added a second finger and twisted them slightly so he hit my prostate on every pass. I groaned as I lifted my ass and arched my back. When I tweaked his nipples harder than he liked, he got the message. He slipped a condom on in seconds flat then lined his cock at my hole and pushed.

We’d done this so many times over the past few months in countless positions and varying degrees of intensity. I couldn’t say why this felt different but it did. Leo stared into my eyes as he slowly entered me. When he was fully seated, he paused to kiss me softly and then opened his mouth to say something but nothing came.

“What is it?” I asked, grateful for the moment to adjust to his girth. Leo was fucking huge. Long and thick and yeah, I loved it but it took a few seconds before pleasure chased away the pain.

“I’m—I love this,” he whispered.

“I do too.”

He threaded his fingers through my hair and kissed my forehead. Then he captured my hands and rolled his hips. “You’re mine. Tell me you’re mine.”

“Yes. I’m yours,” I replied softly.

Leo smiled then. The beautiful boyish smile with a twinkle in his eyes that turned me inside out. It was all I could do to keep from blurting, “I love you.” I didn’t know if he was ready for it. I didn’t want him to question my sincerity because words like that were easy to throw around in the heat of passion. But I knew it was true. I did love him. If I couldn’t tell him, I could certainly show him.

I lifted my legs over his ass and pulled him close as we moved together with our lips fused and hips rocking in a subtle harmony. He controlled the tempo. He kept it moderate and let the momentum build until we were both desperate. When I clawed at his back and bit his jaw, he pulled back and quickly disengaged.

“On your knees,” he commanded.

I shifted sideways and nodded, clutched the edge of the headboard, then pushed my ass out in invitation. We moaned in unison when Leo slid inside me. He went still for a moment before slowly pulling out then slamming forward. I gasped in surprise and glanced over my shoulder. The sex-hazed look in his eyes and the barely-contained tension radiating from him was intoxicating. I leaned backward so we were chest-to-back, and I was fully impaled on his shaft. Leo gripped my cock and stroked me as he began to move again.

“Feels so good,” I sighed. I felt a tingling sensation trip along my spine and knew it wouldn’t take much. I snaked my arm around Leo’s neck and fused my lips to his. “I’m close.”

“I want to hold you like this when you come.” He hummed, rolling his hips hypnotically. “I want to feel you fall apart. I’ve got you. Let go, baby.”

“Fuuuck!” Cum spurted up my chest and dripped over Leo’s fingers.

I squeezed my eyes shut and shook like crazy. My heart thundered and my pulse skyrocketed as my release pulled me under. Leo never stopped moving and he never let go. The steady rocking motion made for an amazing orgasm. I saw a kaleidoscope of stars before the fog finally cleared. Then I opened my eyes and smiled. And that’s when I knew everything had changed.

“Leo, I—”

“What is it, baby? Tell me,” he said, holding me closer as he pistoned his hips over and over.

I couldn’t catch my breath but I had to try. I don’t know why, but it was important that he knew we were in this together now. I bit his bottom lip and nuzzled his nose as he fucked me. When he lost his rhythm, I met his gaze.

“I love you.”

He drove his tongue into my mouth and plundered as his release hit him. I felt every quiver and quake deep within me. And for a magical moment, we were one. The connection might have been born of sex but it was more now. It was something transcendent and sublime and safe and beautiful, and I’d never been more sure of anything in my life. I smiled against his lips.

“I love you,” I said again. I didn’t need to hear the words. I needed to say them.

Leo rubbed his stubbled jaw against mine then kissed my neck and held me a little tighter. I knew without words that he felt the same. Just as I knew it was one thing to notice the feeling of lightness and another to trust it.

For the first time ever, I trusted completely.