“I thought I’d find you up here,” Phaedra said the next morning, joining Sia on the roof of the shelter house.
Her Atlantean friend had fashioned one area of the rooftop into a private garden space filled with large potted plants, blooming flower beds, citrus trees, and marble statuary. It was small, just five hundred square feet of tranquility, but it was a tiny slice of paradise, the closest thing to home that Sia had found anywhere else in the city.
She soaked in the peace and quiet, her arms spread out at her sides, her head tipped back to greet the newly risen sun. The cleansing rays poured into her, soothing and warm. This was a ritual for their kind, one required to rejuvenate both their bodies and souls.
Today, Sia needed healing on every level possible, most especially her heart.
Phaedra offered a concerned smile. “How are you holding up?”
“I’m fine. Much better today.” It was mostly a lie, but she was tired of feeling sorry for herself. She had plenty of time for that when she was alone. “It’s beautiful up here.”
Phaedra inclined her head at the praise. “This is the only space in the house that’s off-limits for the other residents. Sometimes I feel guilty for not sharing it.”
Sia smiled. “Thank you for sharing it with me.”
“The pleasure is mine, Tamisia. I have enjoyed having you here.” She quieted, growing reflective. “I only wish you were happier on this side of the veil, my dear friend.”
“I suppose I’ll have to learn to be, right?”
Phaedra nodded gently, aware of Sia’s wish to go home and her dashed hopes after last night. When she’d returned to the house with blood on her dress and the acrid stench of bar odors and gun smoke in her hair, Sia’d had little choice but to explain what happened—and why.
She didn’t have to confess about her feelings for Trygg, but she’d been an emotional wreck and it had helped having someone to lean on. Phaedra had listened patiently, offering no judgment for Sia’s foolishness in getting involved with a man who was incapable of seeing her as anything other than an obligation, a liability.
But it was worse than that. Sia had allowed herself to care for Trygg the way she never had for any other man.
When she wasn’t frustrated or infuriated with him, she was terrified of having to admit to the realization she might actually be falling in love with him.
Which only made the prospect of remaining in Rome even less appealing.
“Maybe I should travel the globe,” she mused aloud, resuming her meditation. With her eyes closed and her face tipped back into the sun, she tried to imagine all of the wondrous places she could explore in this mortal world. “I could go wherever my whim takes me, then pick up and move on to the next adventure before I even have a chance to get bored. If I want to, I could take a new lover in every port—or two!”
Phaedra laughed beside her. “It sounds exciting.”
Sia nodded, but behind her closed eyelids she felt nothing. She might enjoy seeing new places and doing new things, but the most engaged she’d felt in a very long time was right here, working at the shelter.
And then she’d crossed paths with Trygg. He’d made her feel alive. He’d made her crave, for the first time ever, a life outside of the colony. A life with him. At his side, as his partner in more than just his missions with the Order.
But that’s not how he saw her.
He proved that last night when he’d yanked certain victory out of her hands because he didn’t trust her to see it through without his interference.
She’d wasted enough of her days—and her nights—being pushed around and underestimated by men. Perhaps it was unfair to put Trygg in that category so soon, but she’d meant it when she told him she could protect herself just fine on her own.
And right now, the smartest thing she could do was protect herself from the irreversible mistake of falling in love with him.
Which meant putting as much distance as possible between them.
She drifted deep into her own thoughts as she and Phaedra completed the rest of their morning meditation in silence. When they finished, Phaedra turned to her, considering her for a long moment.
“In case you don’t know this, Tamisia, you deserve happiness. Wherever you decide to look for it.”
Sia shook her head. “No, I probably don’t—”
“Yes, you do.” Phaedra unfastened the leather thong attached to her wrist. The small silvery orb of Atlantean crystal sparkled as she freed the bracelet and held it out to Sia. “I want you to have this.”
“No, I cannot.” She shook her head. “That crystal is yours.”
“I don’t need it anymore. I haven’t needed this for a very long time. I am exactly where I want to be.” She smiled conspiratorially. “Use it to take you on all of your exciting travels.”
“Phaedra, no. I didn’t actually mean any of that. I was only pretending I wanted to do those things.”
“Then use it to take you home,” she said, affixing the strip of warm leather to Sia’s wrist in spite of her protests. “Plead your own case to the council. If you need someone to vouch for your honor and your worthiness to be accepted back into the colony’s fold, I will testify for you. Mine is only one voice, but there was a time when it meant something in the realm. I will help you in any way I can.”
Sia glanced back down at her wrist and at the extraordinarily generous gift from her friend. “Phaedra, thank you for this. And for everything else you’ve given me since I arrived here. Thank you for being my friend.”
“The honor is mine.” With a placid smile, she rested her hand lightly on Sia’s arm. “How about some tea?”
Sia nodded, but she couldn’t find her voice. Her throat was tight and her eyes stung as she stared at the glimmering, otherworldly amulet. The magical chunk of cosmic stone would carry her anywhere her heart desired. Even back to the colony.
She only needed to have the will to use it.