It was past ten o’clock by the time we drove into Queens Park. I still felt wired, manic; the day had been too weird, too emotional, and I wanted a cigarette to calm me down. I hardly smoked any more and certainly didn’t want Martin to see me, but there was a small Juliet balcony in Clare’s spare bedroom, and I imagined opening the door, lighting up and watching the orange glow in the dark.
‘I need a few things from the shop,’ I said, as the Audi turned down Salusbury Road. ‘You can drop me off here.’
‘I’m not dumping you out in the dark. Which shop do you want to go to at this time?’
‘I think there’s a little supermarket near the train station. Park in one of the side streets and I can run in.’
The supermarket was surprisingly busy. People coming out of pubs and piling out of the tube station all with the same idea: cigarettes and alcohol, for those impromptu parties or quiet, mournful midnights.
I enjoyed walking up and down the aisles under the fluorescent lights, feeling a normal person for once, living a normal life. Close enough, anyway. I bought a packet of Marlboro Lights which I stuffed in my bag and a can of Coke and a packet of wine gums to cover my tracks. Master criminal, me.
As I stepped back into the street, I could see Dom’s restaurant across the road and I stopped to look. The windows were all lit up, the tables inside looked rammed. Perhaps Clare’s investment in Dom’s latest vanity project might actually pay off. I watched two couples leave arm in arm, laughing and talking. And behind them was another figure, pulling on his coat and flipping up the collar. My heart sank when I recognized Dom: I’d hoped to slide into Clare’s place unnoticed, then relax with my illicit nicotine hit. Now Dom would get back before me and be sitting in the living room or kitchen: I wouldn’t be able to avoid him or his baleful stare. But Dom didn’t turn left, towards the house. He went the opposite way and then disappeared down the quiet residential street where Martin had parked. Odd.
I waited until he vanished into the darkness and then ran across the road, dodging the traffic, back to the Audi.
‘Got everything you need?’ said Martin, as he fired the engine.
‘Turn around and go that way,’ I said, twisting in my seat.
‘What?’
‘I’ve seen something – someone. I want to see where he’s going.’
Shrugging, Martin did as he was asked. As his headlights lit the way, I scanned the street for Dom but couldn’t see him. Either he’d gone into one of the houses, or he’d got into one of the parked cars.
‘Go slow,’ I whispered, and the Audi slowed to a crawl. Ahead on the right was a silver hatchback with the interior light on, two people in the front.
‘What’s the matter?’ asked Martin, but I was too distracted to answer. The street was dark, which meant I could see into the car as we passed. A couple kissing but as we were moving I couldn’t see more.
‘Turn the car around,’ I said, as Martin reached the end of the road. ‘Go back, go back.’
With a soft sigh, Martin did a three-point turn and proceeded back the way we had just come. The silver hatchback was coming towards us.
‘Pull in to let them pass,’ I ordered, and the Audi nipped into a space.
The hatchback growled past and I didn’t need the light from an overhead streetlamp to see that it was Dom in the passenger seat. The driver was a woman: blonde, young. Pretty.
‘Are you going to tell me what that was all about?’
For a moment, I couldn’t speak, I was too angry, thinking of Clare, so loyal, so gullible, funding Dom’s many ego-boosting schemes and waiting patiently at home.
‘That was Dom,’ I said quietly. ‘Clare’s husband. He was kissing that blonde in the car.’
‘And that blonde wasn’t Clare, I take it?’
‘I didn’t get a good look at her. But it wasn’t Clare, I know that much.’
‘Wow,’ said Martin, looking across. ‘Well, do you still want me to drop you off at her house?’
I paused for a moment, then nodded. Clare had always been there for me and now she needed my support, whether she knew it or not.
Martin kissed me goodbye and I put my key in the lock with a sense of dread. Clare’s house was still and quiet. All the lights were off except for a lamp in the living room. A mug and a paperback thriller had been left on the coffee table, otherwise there were no signs of anyone downstairs. I crept up to the first floor. The door to the master bedroom was slightly ajar and I could see Clare’s form under the duvet, fast asleep. It was barely ten thirty; still early for a Saturday night, and I felt guilty that I hadn’t been there to keep her company.
I went to the spare bedroom at the back of the house, no longer in the mood for a cigarette. Though I climbed into bed and closed my eyes, my mind was too active to sleep. I had just nodded off when I was awoken by the sound of voices. I was groggy, but I could make out they were Dom’s and Clare’s. I thought I could hear her crying. I stayed as still as I could be until the noise died down. Although my eyes were closed, I could feel a presence at the door. Had they been open I would have seen Dom’s face peering through the crack, watching me.