Chapter Two
Children hung from the rafters of the church, howling like monkeys and scratching their armpits. A few ran around old pews in circles, screaming at the top of their lungs. Chloe Walker looked upon her newly minted cast members of the Christmas Eve musical and tried to hold in the dramatic sigh she felt building up inside her. She’d wanted this job. It was a dream come true. If she kept saying that, maybe it’d stay true.
“They’re cute,” her friend and coworker Laurie Fink cooed beside her. She’d been cast as the angel, Gabriel, for the modern day manger scene and was sitting in as one half of Chloe’s audition panel.
“Yeah and I think I just felt my ovaries die,” Chloe mumbled back. She shooed the children toward the back door where their parents were devouring the free lunchtime snacks and coffee. “If I make it through the next three weeks without losing my sanity, I’ll call it a win. Even if the musical stinks to high heaven.”
“It won’t stink.” Laurie smiled and tilted her head, her long red hair falling across her shoulders. “I’ve read the script. It’s brilliant. There’s a reason they chose you to put on this year’s Christmas Eve play. I still can’t believe you wrote it.”
Chloe felt a pleasant heat rise to her cheeks. She grinned to herself and then fanned her face with a spare church bulletin that had been stuffed into the pew rack in front of her. “It’s always been a secret hobby of mine. Accountant by day - playwright by night. Like Clark Kent and Superman, I guess.”
“Or Bruce Wayne and Batman,” Laurie said with an eager nod of her head. “Except, without the billions of dollars.”
“Or the alien superpowers.”
“Or the helpful butler.”
“Why do I need a butler when I have you?” Chloe grinned.
Laurie gave her shoulder a playful shove and shook her head. “Yeah, right?”
The phone in Chloe’s front pocket began to trill an alarm. They were on an extended lunch break from work, so she had to keep on schedule. She hushed it and leaned back into the hard wooden pew.
Time for a new round of auditions for a much more important role. She needed a Joseph for her mini modern day Christmas musical. A man with the voice of an angel and enough acting skills to move an audience to tears. She was out there, but finding him in this town was going to be like searching for a needle in her mother’s junk drawer.
“Let’s bring out the first candidate,” she shouted to Vicky, the church secretary manning the front for Chloe.
Through the double doors to the rectory walked Calvin Nelson. He’d graduated two years behind her in New Hope’s public high school, but she remembered who he was. All star athlete. Handsome as a tall glass of lemonade on a hot summer’s day. Beautiful man, all around.
“Starting this show off on a good foot,” she whispered to Laurie, who giggled. “What do you have for us, Calvin?”
He smiled, displaying two rows of beautifully straight teeth. Then, running a hand through his jet black hair, he dropped to his knees and did a stunning rendition of an excerpt from Hamlet. The ladies watched breathlessly. They gripped the back of the next row of pews, hanging on his every word.
“Beautiful, beautiful,” Chloe said when he was finished, clapping her freshly polished red manicure. “I think we can call off the rest of the auditions,” she added to Laurie out of the corner of her mouth.
“I think you’re forgetting one minor thing.” Laurie held up her finger and shook her head.
“What?” Chloe wanted to throw the hymnal at her. “The man is perfect.”
“Yes, but can he sing?” She held up a copy of the piano music Chloe had given her that morning. “You seem to have forgotten that the manger scene you wrote includes a beautiful solo piece from Joseph. You might want to have Calvin sing.”
Chloe pressed her lips together and clenched her teeth, but she couldn’t get too angry. Her friend had a point. Maybe she was jumping the gun. “Okay, Calvin. I need you to sing a bar or two for us, just so we can get an idea of your singing voice.”
He grinned and leaned against the piano, flashing a Hollywood smile. “No problem, ladies. How about a little 8 Mile?”
Chloe looked at Laurie, momentarily confused. She’d never heard of a musical called 8 Mile. Laurie seemed similarly confused by the way her eyebrows pinched in the middle. They didn’t have to wait long - Calvin leapt into a hacking and spitting version of Eminem’s 8 Mile rap, causing Chloe to shudder with instant dislike.
“Wait, wait, wait!” She waved her hand, trying to bring her potential Joseph back down to Earth. He’d lost himself in the lyrics and was using the back of the piano as a drum. Finally, she caught his attention mid chorus and his voice trailed off. “I need a song. An actual song. Can’t you sing a couple lines of Les Mis? Or, Phantom? Or maybe West Side Story?”
Calvin shrugged helplessly, his mouth falling open.
“How about a Christmas carol?” Laurie jumped in. Chloe nodded in agreement. “Sing a Christmas song. Any song.”
He wrung his hands, no longer the cool and confident boy Chloe could remember from back in high school. “I know Away in a Manger. Is that cool?”
“Yes.” She practically jumped out of the pew. “Perfect. Let’s hear it.”
Taking a deep breath, he looked up at the rafters of the church and opened his mouth. From behind his teeth came the most awful, raspy sound that grated on Chloe’s ears. Unfortunately, Calvin didn’t seem to notice. He got nearly through the entire first verse before the girls waved him off.
“That’s enough,” Chloe said through gritted teeth. She forced a cheerful smile. “We’ll let you know.”
“Thanks, babes.” Calvin ran his hands through his hair and winked at them. “Later.”
It wasn’t until he left through the double doors that Chloe grabbed Laurie’s arm in a claw-like grip and squeezed. “He sounded like a dying bird. I thought I was going to have to drill a hole through my brain to survive.”
Laurie smiled sympathetically and loosed the grip on her arm. “He wasn’t that bad.”
“It was worse than hearing a walrus bellow.”
“He had his merits.”
“Worse than listening to my Uncle Bernie snore.”
“The important part is he tried.”
“Worse than hearing my sister and her fiance make out next to me at the movies.”
Laurie pulled back with an amused smile. “They really do that?”
“Once.” Chloe swatted at her black braids falling into her face. “It was a really boring movie. I can’t really blame them.” She shuffled her papers and put on her meanest game face. “Vicky, send the next one in!”
They proceeded through another half dozen auditions, each worse than the last. Laurie was kind and encouraging through them, but Chloe had begun to lose her patience. By the final off-tune rendition of Santa Claus is Coming to Town, she was practically snarling.
“You were off pitch the entire song,” she snapped at Darren Evan, the slightly chubby rent-a-cop guard who worked at the school. “And those dance moves looked like you were in electric shock therapy.”
“But it was a solid effort,” Laurie added, side-eyeing her friend. “I could really tell you were into it.”
“You were into something, but it wasn’t good,” Chloe replied with a dramatic sigh.
Darren Evan didn’t seem phased by the criticism. He tipped an imaginary hat and sailed out the door with a booming laugh.
“That wasn’t very nice.” Laurie looked at her with her big wide green eyes. “I’m sure you hurt a couple of those guys’ feeling.”
Chloe crossed her arms and sat back in the pew. “Well, they hurt my ears. We’re never going to find my Joseph. I can’t put on a musical about the most romantic and perfect couple in all time without my perfect Joseph.”
She thought about her family and how she’d been bragging about this play for weeks - ever since the Pastor had told her that he’d picked her play. Her entire family was coming to see it. She had to find the perfect guy.
“How’s auditions coming, ladies?”
As if sensing her desperation like a shark in bloody water, Ashley Lynn came strolling into the sanctuary. Her furry pink sweater clung to her torso and tucked into a black leather skirt over black tights. She smiled as she swayed from side to side, revealing gigantic bleached white front teeth that hurt to look at.
“Fantastic, thanks for asking.” Chloe slammed closed her notebook with all the scribbles she’d made about their candidates. “In fact, I think we’re almost done here. This is going to be a wonderful year for the Christmas pageant.”
Ashley Lynn flung her Brazillian blow out behind her shoulder and sighed. “Nothing can beat last year’s pageant though. You do know that I was the writer, director, and star of last year’s play?”
Chloe bit the inside of her cheek to keep from growling. Of course she knew. Ashley Lynn had practically written the headline in the stars, calling attention to herself at every instance.
“It’s just too bad that I didn’t have the time to do it again this year,” she purred. “What with my thriving attorney practice and hosting the holidays for my significant family, I just couldn’t find a spare second. But I told Pastor, you can bet that Chloe Walker would be a good bet. She doesn’t have nearly the time constraints as I do.”
She wanted to rip that unnatural December tan right off her bronzed skin and stuff it down the back of her skimpy sweater. It felt like she’d always been competing with Ashley Lynn, even though their mothers were good friends. They’d finished the same undergraduate degree at the University of Minnesota, but Ashley Lynn had gone on to law school while Chloe got her master’s in accountancy. Despite the framed degree in her room at home, she’d never felt like she’d measured up to the perfection that was Ashley Lynn.
“That’s great,” she finally managed to say through gritted teeth. Her cheeks felt like they were going to burst into flames.
Ashley Lynn frowned, her glossy lips pushed into a pucker. She patted Chloe on the shoulder, speaking in a patronizing tone. “Don’t worry, Chlo. It’ll be good, even if it doesn’t measure up to last year’s play. Everyone will know you tried your best. And that’s what counts.”
Laurie grabbed her friend’s arm and kept her from going after Ashley Lynn as she sashayed down the aisle without another word. It was a good thing, too, because right at that moment Pastor Steve came into the sanctuary to tidy up the room after this morning’s sermon.
“How am I ever going to find the right guy?” Chloe demanded, stomping her feet. She threw herself into a pew and pouted.
“Isn’t that the question we all ask?” Laurie smiled softly and sat next to her.
“Very funny.” Chloe hadn’t had much luck in hunting down a guy for her personal life, either. But that was a sore topic for another day. Today, she needed the perfect man for the perfect part.
“He’s out there, somewhere,” Laurie said. She patted her friend’s knee and stood to leave. “You’ll find him.”
She stared at the wooden pew in front of her. A determined fire had sprung to life behind the black irises of her eyes. She clutched her notebook to her chest and nodded her head. “Yes, I will. And if I have to drag him here, kicking and screaming, you bet I will.”
Chloe didn’t see the slightly frightened expression on her friend’s face. She was on the hunt and nothing could stop her.