CHAPTER THREE
Beneath my hands, Nia freezes.
I stop, realizing I didn’t ask the most important question of all. “Do you want me, too?”
My ragged breaths punctuate the air as she scans my face, seemingly searching for something. I don’t know what.
Suddenly, she lunges for me, tosses her arms around me, then plants her mouth across mine.
The moment our lips meet is a shock of unbridled thrill. Desire floods my system, saturating my senses and shutting down my brain. I groan as I push my way past her soft lips and thrust my tongue against hers. Her moan of acceptance and her fingers clutching at my shirt are all the confirmation I need.
Without hesitation, I wrap my arms around her and fill my palms with her succulent ass, then lift her against me. I spare a brief moment of thanks for my logic that a daily gym habit makes for a healthier human. Holding her against my throbbing shaft so I can grind her against me is easy. And so sweet it sends a shudder of arousal through my entire body.
Nia opens wider to me with a throaty groan and rolls her hips in sync with mine. The friction staggers me. My knees nearly buckle. The heat between us…it’s going to consume me. But if I don’t get inside her in the next thirty seconds, I’ll spontaneously combust.
I tear my mouth from Nia’s. We breathe hard together as I scan the room. “Bed?”
“Futon.” She points to an area behind a dressing screen at the back.
I nod and take her mouth again, along with five ground-eating steps to the comfortably rumpled gray surface.
As I lay her down, I grab the sash securing her robe in my fist. “Do you want me to stop?”
“No.”
“Do you want me inside you?”
She gives me a jerky nod. “Now.”
God, is this actually happening? Three days ago, Nia was the ideal assistant. Right now, she’s my ultimate fantasy.
Breath sawing, I rip her robe open. She’s completely bare. I appreciate the generous curves and shadowed valleys of her body while I tackle my zipper. The instant my cock springs free, I take myself in hand and align my aching crest against her silky, slick opening. “Last chance. Or I’m going to fuck you.”
Nia wraps her thighs around me and presses kisses up my neck. “Hurry.”
Normally, I’d debate the wisdom of this decision long and hard. I’d make a pro-and-con list, study my options from every angle, then choose the most logical conclusion for the desired outcome. Tonight, the primal part of me has stripped my brain down to its base functions. I don’t care anymore if this isn’t smart, if I’m being irrational, or if I’ll regret the hell out of this.
I need Nia Wright now.
I grip her hips in my fevered hands, seize her lips, then thrust into her like I’ll die if I don’t feel her around me. Because I will.
And as I submerge myself inside her, Nia takes every inch. I let out a long, tortured groan, straining to surge as deep as I can. My eyes nearly roll back in my head as pleasure bombards me. How the fuck did I not realize until this moment how perfect she would feel, all soft and welcoming around me?
Then I’m not thinking anything because Nia arches and cries out, breaking our kiss to gasp and toss her head back. Her nails dig into my shoulders as her pussy clamps down.
“You’re tight,” I growl.
“You’re filling and stretching me. It burns. Oh, damn. Yes…”
Under me, she gyrates and sways, her hips rocking back, sliding the tight paradise of her pussy up my sizzling length until only the head of my cock is bathed in her heat.
I clench my jaw, bare my teeth. Anything less than buried balls deep is unacceptable.
“Don’t,” I warn, shoving my hands under her, digging my fingers in her ass, and spreading her wider for me.
“What?” The way she pants the word screws with my brain and plays tricks on my overloaded libido.
“Don’t try to get away from me. It’s too late for that.”
Then I pull her closer with all my strength and I drive inside her, thrusting deeper than before. I barge into a spot far inside her depths, and she keens again. Her nails dig harder.
“That’s so good,” she pants in my ear. “Hell, yes.”
Her words encourage me, but her body shifts away from me once more, until she’s almost dislodged me from her tight clasp. In some corner of my brain, I realize she’s prodding me to move with her, to thrust in and out and generate friction between us until we reach a cataclysmic end. But the primal urges of my body are telling me to plunge as deep as possible, hold tight, and stay there until the end of time.
I take her mouth again, biting her bottom lip as I squeeze her derrière and push my way back inside her. The nip leads to a press of lips. Her taste lures me deeper, so I force my way into her mouth. Not that she fights me. No, she welcomes me with more animal sounds and a seductive swirl of her tongue.
I think we’ve come to a mutually satisfying position when she starts wriggling in my grasp again, trying to put distance between us.
“Goddamn it,” I hiss.
“Move with me, Evan. Slide in and out. I want to feel every amazing inch of you against me.”
When she puts it like that, I want that. I want it right now. And don’t I want to see her come? Yes. I have to see her face, feel her grip, hear her cries—and know I made her unravel for me.
At the thought, something savage inside me comes off its chain. My heart lurches into high gear. My body revs, every muscle tense. My stare penetrates her unblinking gaze, just as my cock does to her sex. She looks breathless, full of anticipation, and so damn aroused it’s making me dizzy and crazy and unhinged.
“Fuck, yes.”
I barely see delight fill her face before I rear back and begin to pound into her. Deep, long, rapid-fire strokes that are an all-out assault on whatever barriers she has between the sensations we’re sharing and the orgasm I intend to wring from her body.
As I plow into her over and over, sweat beads my brow. My fingers go numb. My head is completely silent except for the roaring heartbeat thrashing between my ears. Pleasure deluges me.
Nia begins to tense. Her encouraging moans pick up speed and octave until she’s delivering them against my skin as she’s sucking at my neck and crossing her ankles behind me as if she never intends to let go.
My lungs work like a bellows as I inhale ragged breaths and exhale with rough grunts. Pressure builds. My senses expand until all I can comprehend is Nia. Her skin is like velvet under my fingertips. Her lips against mine are unexpectedly sweet. Her scent around me is intoxicating as hell.
She’s everything I’ve been seeking for longer than I care to admit.
Under me, she scratches and strains, crying out and writhing. I’m seconds from bursting in a devastating explosion of ecstasy beyond anything I’ve ever felt. I want it. I need it. I crave it—and her—so badly I don’t think I can take another breath without giving into the towering pleasure about to crumble me under it.
But the way Nia is moving, desperate and wailing, she’s climbing…but not yet on the edge.
There’s no fucking way I’m going over without her.
I don’t even know who I am or where this insistence is coming from. I feel compelled to thrust my hand in her hair and tug until our eyes meet as I rise upright and change the angle of my thrust. Then I set my hand on her hip—and my thumb over her clit.
I rub the sensitive nub. “You’re going to come for me, aren’t you?”
Her eyes half close with a sob of yearning and a bending of her spine. “Yes.”
“What? Say it louder,” I demand so I can hear her moan for me again.
“Yes!”
Her pleading arouses me like nothing else. I have to have more of it. I’m greedy for more of her passion, her supplication.
“Tell me again. Say it now.”
“I’m going to come for you…”
And she is. Her bud swells and hardens under my thumb. In this position, I see the rush of blood making the undertone of her rich, umber skin even darker. Her throat works. Her lips part. Her nipples bead to perfect points as her chest rises and falls. A glance down the long line of her torso keys me up more, especially when my stare settles on her swollen pussy, so pretty and plump and perfectly bare.
“Do it,” I bark in desperation. “Fucking now!”
She reaches out futilely to grab the futon and arches, her spine twisting. I shove in again, feel her squeeze me so tight it’s hard to push deeper. But I grit my teeth and persevere. I’m going to watch her come apart for me, then I’m going to follow her into the abyss of pleasure and climax like I never have. I already know it, feel it.
“Yes.” She nods frantically as she grabs on to my arms and grips hard. “Yes! That’s it. It’s so good… I’m there. Evan!”
She screams. Under my touch, her clit turns to stone. Her body bucks as her pussy rhythmically clamps and squeezes me. Ecstasy sharpens her face, and I already know I’ll never forget the way it transforms her mouth to an O and her body to soft putty in my hands.
My stare is still fused to her, watching the most beautifully mind-blowing sight I’ve ever seen when rapture overtakes me. I want to watch her through every moment of her peak, but my own crushes me. I’m forced to close my eyes as I erupt and ride the relentless, stunning agony ripping away my breath and ruining my sanity.
This night and this moment—hell, this woman—have destroyed me.
As I struggle to catch my breath, she huffs and gasps. I open my eyes and find her staring. The jolt of our connection whacks me. Then a thousand thoughts hit me at once. Not only did I have sex with my secretary, but for the first time ever, I had intercourse with someone other than my wife.
“Oh, god,” I spit out, my face tightening. “What just happened?”
She cups my cheek in her soft palm. “Don’t do this, Evan. Don’t ruin the moment.”
It shouldn’t have happened in the first place. My logical brain knows that. Guilt screams at me. Becca never liked Nia; she would have disapproved. Plus, we work together. What happened tonight will make everything damn awkward from now on.
Despite all that, I can’t bring myself to wish it hadn’t happened.
“Did I hurt you?”
Nia frowns. “Do you think I’m made of glass? Would I have been screaming for more if you had?” She caresses her way up my arms and wraps hers around my neck, bringing me closer. “It was amazing.”
“It was.” I can’t lie about that.
“Then please don’t regret it.”
I can’t promise her I won’t. Instead, I hover above her, stare into her earnest face. We’re so close. If I lean in, I could kiss her…like I’m dying to now. I don’t, though. “What happens next?”
She shrugs. “Whatever we want.”
Nia should think twice before saying that. Even now I’m realizing that I should get off of her, put my clothes on, and try to forget this monumental breach in our professional relationship. The other part of me is pretty sure I can’t shove that genie back in its bottle. And if I know her door is always open… Well, guilt aside, I’m always going to want her.
Because sex with Nia turned me inside out, and no amount of logic is going to change that fact.
“Can we really work together after this?” My hand tightens on her hip. My cock is still hard inside her. “Truly?”
She continues to caress me as if we don’t have a care in the world. “Why not? We’re both adults. We’re responsible. We can separate private from professional.”
Logically, that sounds correct. Realistically? I don’t know. I’ve never tried to focus on work while the person I crave on a base, naked level is knee-deep in all my professional affairs.
For now, I nod. I’ll go with her assumption unless and until it proves untrue. “I hope you’re right.”
“I am. We’ll just…work it out. We have to.” Her face softens, and she rises to brush a kiss on my lips. “But this can’t be the only time we’re together.”
Despite all my reservations, I don’t hesitate. “You’re right. It can’t.”
Though it should be, and I damn well know it.
Nia lets out a breath as if my agreement is a relief. Doesn’t she realize tonight completely shook my world?
Maybe not. Maybe she has amazing, spontaneous sex with other guys all the time.
I hate that fucking voice in my head. I hate even more that it might be right.
“Do you want to come to my place for the night?” she whispers hopefully.
Absolutely. That’s my first thought. Then I stop myself. “I have a mountain of work so I can be ready for Monday.”
But sifting through the latest buyout offer isn’t the only reason I decline. I need time to digest what just happened. Nothing about tonight fits my concept of sex. Nia gave me so much more than I expected—or was prepared for. I also need space to reconcile the fact that, in the blink of an eye, Becca is no longer the only woman I’ve ever shared passion with. And that it’s not my late wife I’m pining for now.
For a reason I can’t comprehend, that fact hits me hard. I withdraw from Nia’s soft body with a grimace. Immediately, I feel colder. Alone.
Beneath me, she gasps. “Towel on the vanity. Shit.”
When she points a few feet away, I jump up and grab it, then hand it to her. “A mess? I’m sorry. It’s been…since Becca.”
“I figured.” She begins to clean herself up.
I take the towel back from her grasp and handle the task. After all, I made the mess. And it gives me another reason to stay close, touch her.
“Evan, I-I need to tell you something,” she says suddenly. I’m surprised her voice is shaking. “I just realized we didn’t use protection, and I’m, um…not on birth control.”
“What?”
Somewhere in the back of my head, I hear myself snapping the question. But of all the things I imagined Nia would say next, that bomb never occurred to me at all. It should have. Neither of us were mindful enough to think about a condom. But if she has the kind of active sex life I’m imagining she does, how has she not been pregnant twenty times over?
“I can’t,” she explains. “The pill gives me migraines. IUD gave me awful mood swings. I usually insist on condoms, but everything with us happened so fast.”
That’s an understatement. I touched Nia and utterly lost my head. I stopped thinking about anything except how fucking good she made me feel. And Becca was on the pill for years before she decided she wanted a baby. Neither one of us ever had another sexual partner, so I’ve never used a condom in my life. I didn’t pause long enough to realize how different everything would be with another woman.
Of course, when I think about it, that fact is so obvious I feel like a fool. But I try to keep calm and collected and hide my death grip on the towel as I wipe myself dry. After losing Becca and our baby in an instant, I can’t think about the possibility of another pregnancy.
I haven’t recovered from losing the last one.
Finally, I tuck my cock back in my pants and rearrange my shirt. Nia doesn’t move, just lies sprawled across the futon, breasts moving softly with each breath, still naked as she studies my expression.
“I should have said something sooner.”
Her face is so full of apology I can’t possibly think she allowed me to have sex with her unprotected on purpose. But it’s not okay. “I’m equally to blame. I should have asked.”
“I’m early in my cycle. It should be okay.”
But there’s no guarantee. That’s utterly fucking terrifying.
I swallow back my tension. “If you’re ready to go, I’ll walk you to your car.”
“Are you sure I can’t persuade you to come home with me? French toast in the morning…”
Her offer is tempting, and she tries to give me a flirty smile. But I see the uncertainty on her face. I’m probably a complete bastard for leaving her now, but my head is bubbling like a volcano. I’ve always been even-tempered, not prone to being swayed by any particular mood. The disquiet unsettling me now makes me wonder if somehow Nia has changed me.
“I can’t.” I also stifle a promise to take her up on the offer another time. I don’t know if or how Nia and I will make us work.
If you can’t deal and you break it off with her, then she becomes angry, disillusioned, and bitter, what then?
Nothing good.
“All right.” Now her voice sounds clipped, a little hurt, as she wraps her robe around her body and covers herself from nearly head to toe again.
“Nia, what happened tonight can’t change anything at work. No one can know.”
She looks away and crosses her arms over her chest. “Sure.”
I’ve hurt her. Son of a bitch. Whatever this is between us is barely ten minutes old, and I’ve already screwed up. Maybe I’m not wired for meaningful human interaction. Maybe the only woman who could ever understand me is cold and buried and gone forever.
“I’m sorry, but keeping what happened a secret makes sense—for both of us,” I murmur, then realize if I keep talking, I’ll only say more things that only upset her. “We’ll talk more on Monday, all right? I’ll see you then.”
“See you.”
As soon as Nia nods, I tell myself to turn around and leave. I shouldn’t linger or give her false hope that I might stay the night after all or give her any reason to think I’m romantically inclined. But I can’t make myself leave when she’s distressed, especially when everything that’s wrong is my fault.
Before I can tell myself not to, I take her by the shoulders, tug her to her feet, and pull her against me. Just like before, the minute I touch her, I don’t care whether being with her is right or wrong. I simply need. The yearning on her face says it’s the same for her.
She meets me halfway as I dip my head and kiss her slowly, tenderly, so unlike the way I assailed her mouth when I entered the room. It feels different to take my time, to savor her scent and flavor, to be kissing her not in passion but affection. But it doesn’t take long before my head swims, my heart thuds, and my cock goes stone hard.
Fuck, she’s potent, and I have a feeling that if I’m not careful, she could become a distraction. A weakness. An addiction.
Somehow, I manage to dredge up the will to stop enjoying her mouth, press a kiss to her forehead, and step back. “Bye.”