Chapter Twenty-Four

He filled two plates with the Italian feast Mason had brought with him and poured them each a glass of wine, then they ate together at the kitchen table. They sat side by side with both of them wearing only their boxer briefs and t-shirts. The whole domesticated scene had Tessler smiling around every bite of food he put into his mouth. This felt so natural for them, like they’d been doing it for years.

It feels like we’re a couple.

Tessler almost choked on a forkful of lasagna as he contemplated what the familiarity of this meant. He’d never been one half of a couple before. The closest he’d come was the twisted relationship he’d had with his first agent, and them being a couple had never been an option. Even Marcus, down in Key West, had always remained in the friend zone, and Tessler was happy about that. So, why was it with Mason he was always looking for more, something that went beyond the boundaries he’d typically encouraged with his other hook-ups?

Because Mason isn’t a hook-up.

In fact, Mason was as far from being a hook-up as it got. What they had was the potential to become the real deal—something lasting, and Tessler couldn’t even believe he was having those thoughts, but he was.

“Something wrong?” Mason asked with serious eyes focused directly on him. As always, those penetrating eyes felt like they were looking right into Tessler’s very soul.

“It’s what’s right,” Tessler countered.

“The food?”

“Yes, the food is great, but being with you like this feels … right,” Tessler said and then reached for Mason’s hand. He laced their fingers, then brought them to his mouth to kiss the knuckles. “Any regrets about me being your first?”

Mason chuckled and tried to hide his grin and the heat Tessler could see coloring his cheeks. “No regrets,” Mason said softly. “If I’d known it felt like that, I might have bottomed years ago, but maybe it was so good because I had you as a partner.”

“You’re good for my ego,” Tessler said, “but it did feel exceptionally amazing with you, so maybe it does have something to do with the people in this equation after all.”

“You never bottom?” Mason asked.

“I used to,” Tessler answered. He set his fork down and reached for his wine glass to take another sip of the dark, red liquid. “In the beginning, when I first started having sex, that’s all I did, until ...”

“Until what?” Mason probed.

“Until I realized I’m more of a top,” Tessler stated.

“Would you ever bottom for me?” Mason asked with a hopeful tone.

“I honestly don’t know,” Tessler admitted. “It’s not that I hated bottoming. It’s more that I feel a stronger connection in the role of a top.”

Mason set down his fork and cleared his throat as if he were about to say something really important, which certainly got Tessler’s attention. “Is it cool if I ask you about the club?” Mason asked after a pause. “Or is that a subject you’d rather not talk about?”

Tessler looked at Mason and tried to calm himself. Was this the beginning of judgment from Mason about his past? If so, they were going to have a serious problem, and this thing between them would be doomed before it even started. “Does it bother you that I’ve visited a sex club on numerous occasions?”

“Not in the way you’re probably assuming,” Mason stated. “I mean, if I’m being honest, I guess I’m a little jealous, even though I know I have no right to be. The main reason I’m asking is because I’ve never known anyone who’s been to a club like that. My buddies and I have been to a few strip clubs, lots of dance clubs, and even a gay club once where I walked in on a bathroom hook-up, but we never went to an actual sex club. I’m just curious about it, that’s all, but if you’d rather not talk about it, that’s cool.”

“What’d you want to know?” Tessler asked.

“Well, what exactly happens there? Is it all just sex?” Mason questioned.

Tessler used his napkin to wipe off his mouth and sat back in his seat. “It’s a sex club, so there is definitely a lot of sex happening, but not in every room.”

“You mean there’s special rooms for the sex?”

“Picture it like this, the place is like a regular club in the sense it has a big bar area and a dance floor,” Tessler described. “Then, at the back of that large, open room there is a set of doors which leads you into the areas where the sex happens. That area is divided up into different sections. There were theme rooms, group rooms, private rooms, and even a dungeon to play in. Some people would drift back and forth between the bar area and the specialty rooms, and others only came for the sex and stayed in the rooms out back.”

“Jesus, that sounds hot,” Mason said.

Tessler saw Mason’s hand pressing down on his crotch, then noticed a significant bulge after he moved his hand. Surprise, surprise. This is turning you on, Tessler thought and smiled. “It was all very hot and different every time I went.”

“I bet you saw all kinds of gay sex in every imaginable position and combination humanly possible, right?” Mason questioned.

“Well, it was a gay men’s club, so that’s who was there,” Tessler elaborated.

“And the sex? Did you—”

“Did I have sex there? Yes, I did,” Tessler answered.

“In front of people?” Mason pushed.

“Sometimes, yes.” Tessler finished the wine in his glass and refilled it. He was suddenly feeling the need to change the subject, but was that fair to Mason? If the shoe was on the other foot, would he want to know the specifics as to what Mason might have done at a sex club? He wasn’t sure what he should do about this conversation right now.

“Do you want specifics, Mase?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. How bad are the details?” Mason asked.

“I’m not ashamed of what I did there, if that’s what you mean,” Tessler answered, “but I don’t want the things I say to hurt you in any way.”

Mason seemed to mull it over inside his head for a bit, then finally he nodded at Tessler. “Yeah, tell me. I think it will bother me more if I don’t know what happened.”

“Okay, but I won’t go into too much explicit detail,” Tessler said.

“Sounds fair,” Mason agreed.

“Remember my first literary agent I told you about?” Tessler began.

“Yes, you’ve mentioned him.”

“His name was Barry,” Tessler explained. “The first several times Barry brought me to the club, he took me around and introduced me to his friends, who were mainly much older men,” Tessler detailed. “I did a lot of watching during those initial visits, but didn’t participate at all. Looking back, I believe that was Barry’s way of grooming me for what was to come, but at the time I was like a kid in a candy store. I’d only ever had sex with Barry at that point, so to see so many other men going at it in the various rooms was pretty damn awesome to a newbie like I was back then. Barry and I would watch everyone for a while, and then we’d disappear into a private room and have sex. It stayed like that for quite a while until this new kid showed up on the arm of one of the older members. His name was Lukas. He was young, like me, blond and very pretty.”

“How old were you at the time?” Mason asked.

“Twenty-one and Lukas was twenty-two but looked a lot younger,” Tessler said. “The man Lukas was with asked Barry if Lukas could kiss me. Anytime anything sexual happened, it was always consensual between all parties. No one was ever forced, harassed, or demeaned into doing anything they didn’t want to do. It’s important to me that you know that. Yes, I was young, but I was never forced to do any of the things I did there. I was just a horny kid who was very curious about his newfound sexuality and took advantage of the opportunities that were presented to me at the club.”

“So, you kissed Lukas?” Mason asked.

“Yeah, we kissed and a bunch of the members gathered around us to watch. One kiss led to another, and then he ended up fucking me in front of everyone.”

“Barry didn’t mind?”

“He encouraged it,” Tessler admitted. “For several months after that, Lukas and I were the shiny new toys at the club, and we did a lot of things with the other men. I guess you could say, we got passed around a lot. I’d never had that kind of attention and it felt . . . nice to be desired like that. For once in my life, I was the popular kid who everyone wanted to be with. To an awkward kid with seriously bad social skills, having this happen opened up a whole new world to me. Those experiences shaped me into who I am today.”

“Were you ever a member yourself?”

“I was certainly there often enough to be considered a member, but I never bothered to go through the paperwork process to make it official,” Tessler said. “I didn’t need to. I had Barry to bring me there whenever I wanted to go, and I was vetted because of him.”

“Did you like going?” Mason asked.

“It’s not for everyone, but I loved being there,” Tessler stated. “I … learned a lot during that time, and for a while, it was a good thing. Eventually it got old, and I didn’t like how it made me feel afterwards.”

“What do you mean?” Mason was turned now in his seat and looking directly at him, which was as much unnerving to Tessler as it was telling. Mason was completely invested in this conversation, and Tessler wasn’t exactly sure why—yet. Mason could be digging for the particulars on what Tessler had done at the club, and if so, how much should he tell him? He didn’t want to turn off the man’s obvious curiosity by revealing too much, so where was the line he needed to be mindful of?

Tessler did his best to keep the tension out of his voice when he asked, “What do you really want to know, Mason? Are you asking what I did or didn’t do there?”

Mason stilled in his chair. “I don’t know. A big part of me wants to know every last, sweaty detail because I think it sounds sexy as fuck. My dick is hard right now thinking about all of the various possible scenarios you might have encountered, but the part of me who wants you for myself … I don’t know. Hearing the sordid details could make me jealous.”

Tessler leaned towards Mason and slid his hand between his legs to feel for his erection. The tight mound was not hard to miss at all and that made Tessler grin. “You perverted fucker,” Tessler said and squeezed.

Mason shrugged and laughed. “Does asking for details make me a dirty, old man?”

“First of all, you’re far from being old,” Tessler replied, “and secondly, I happen to love dirty, so it’s all good.”

“Do you still go to this place?” Mason asked.

“I haven’t been in several years,” Tessler admitted.

“I’m relieved to hear that,” Mason said. “I don’t think I could handle that if we’re going to be together. It probably makes me sound like a possessive jerk, but I’m not sure I could share you like that.”

“That’s part of the reason I stopped going,” Tessler said. “I got tired of being used, at least that’s what it felt like at the end. I wanted to matter enough to someone. Hell, I wanted to be enough so that they wouldn’t need or want anyone else.”

Mason’s fingers stroked the side of Tessler’s face then lifted them to his head. “You matter to me,” he said as he finger-combed Tessler’s soft hair. “Lord knows, you’re more than enough for me.”

Tessler eliminated the space between them and took Mason’s mouth in a kiss so deep and possessive it made them both moan. “It feels crazy to want you as much as I do,” Tessler admitted. “I can’t deny the connection I feel. You’re all that I think about—when you’re not here with me and even when you are—it doesn’t matter.”

“I’m relieved to hear you say that,” Mason whispered. “It’s kind of funny how we met, but I’m so happy we did. I can’t explain it properly, at least without sounding like a lunatic.”

Tessler rubbed his nose against Mason’s. “I think you’re doing a helluva job explaining yourself.”

“Yeah?”

“Definitely,” Tessler said. “How about we go back upstairs and have dessert? I know a great way to serve that Tiramisu.”

“Oh, and how’s that?” Mason asked with a smirk.

“Smeared across the length of your hard dick.”

“Lead the way.”