“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Mindy demands of Bertha with a disbelieving laugh.

I laugh. “That has to be it. Unless someone came in here and stole it.”

Mindy laughs so hard. “So fucking gross!” She shakes her head. “Poor Bertha. But . . . is she supposed to be feeling this way, though? Like, can’t dogs eat anything?”

I shrug. “She should be okay. It’s not gonna kill her. My dog ate a beer-soaked pair of socks one time and was sick a little, but he was fine after he hacked up the fuzz ball. It was funnier watching him stagger around drunk.”

Mindy laughs lightly. “Your sperm must be doggy kryptonite then.”

I laugh. “Aren’t you glad I didn’t make you swallow?”

Mindy chuckles, blushing hard. “Seriously, though, what do we do about this? We have to be down there for breakfast in like twenty minutes,” she says.

“Let’s just go down there, have breakfast like normal, and then we’ll take her for a walk. She’ll be fine. She just needs to poop it out.”

Mindy giggles. “I hate that it happened, but I can’t help but laugh.”

I have to laugh too. “It makes for a great story to tell our grandkids.” I pause after the words leave my mouth. Grandkids. It was almost as if I was talking like we’d have grandkids. Am I really that deep into character after a couple of days?

The mirth flees Mindy’s face as well, making an uncomfortable silence, as if the same thought came to her. “I’m gonna go get ready.”

“All right,” I agree, squatting down next to Bertha and rubbing her belly.

Mindy hurries into the bathroom. We both take our showers and are down in the dining area within the next twenty minutes, just making it. I’m dressed casually in jeans and a breezy shirt because I’m in the mood to relax today, and Bertha’s already caused enough stress.

Mindy has on a sundress, a cute little light blue thing that hugs her body. She looks beautiful in it, flirty and sexy with just the right amount of skin showing. I have a fleeting memory of the way those arms clung to me last night, and I have to take a few deep breaths before I can continue.

“Remember,” I tell her before we step in the dining room. “Act normal. Anyone asks, we let Bertha out to do her business in the middle of the night.”

“I’m not sure that’ll be believable,” she says before I open the door. With the magic of a natural actress, her face lifts and she puts on a big smile and her voice lifts cheerfully. “Good morning, Mother!”

Everyone is in the dining room for once, with Uncle Charles slouched over a big bowl of what looks like Lucky Charms and looking like death warmed over, while the rest of the family at least looks like they’re enjoying the good food the kitchen has to offer. Mindy goes in, giving her grandmother a kiss on the cheek, then her mom.

“Y’all look good this morning,” Mary Jo says, her eyes sparkling as she takes us in. “You certainly got up on the right side of the bed this morning.”

She most certainly did. On my side.

“Thank you!” Mindy chirps, and I feel a tremor inside. “You look good too, Mom. Everyone’s looking happy this morning. Except Uncle Charles, but at least you got some early morning swag going on with that getup.”

Rita gives her niece a look. “Swag? You are blind, girl. More like sag.”

I nudge Mindy a little. I told her to act normal, not try to distract by overcompensating.

Thankfully, Mindy takes my nudge and shuts up, still smiling. “You sure are happy this morning,” Roxy remarks. “You guys must have really rocked the boat last night. Nice job, Captain Oliver. I’m so jealous. I’m about to go down to the beach and find me a nice cabana boy.”

I love how this family just rolls with all of Roxy’s antics, paying her no mind. I guess after both Mindy and Roxy, they’re used to it. John’s certainly adapted quickly.

“Hey, Oliver, let’s make sure Mary Jo’s got us cleared for free time,” John says from the front of the table. “I’d love to give you more rides in my pride and joy. My Honey’s to-do list is longer than what I get some days at the office.”

“I’m not that bad,” Mary Jo says. “I’m just . . .”

Suddenly, Mary Jo stops mid-sentence and glances around. “Where’s Bertha?”

“Hopefully, stuck on a beach raft and floating away in the ocean,” Ivy Jo mutters.

“I gave her to Mindy and Oliver last night so she could sleep with them,” Roxy says, looking over at us.

Mindy glances at me, but I’m already on it.

“We let her out in the middle of the night. She was clawing at the door and whining,” I say smoothly.

“Well then, where is she?” Mary Jo asks, worried. “She never misses breakfast.”

“Calm down, Mary Jo,” John says. “She’s probably just playing in the garden like she did when she got out over St. Paddy’s Day, remember?”

She ignores him. “Bertha!” she calls, “Where are you, honey?”

“Act normal,” I whisper in Mindy’s ear. I can see the nervousness on her face. “Mary Jo, Mindy and I will find her after breakfast. Don’t worry, I’m sure she’s around here somewhere.”

It settles her enough, and we finish our breakfast in peace. After we’re done, Mindy and I go to our room, trying not to practically run. Bertha’s still there, her tail flapping around. That’s a good sign at least.

Mindy picks her up and tries to cover her with a blanket, but Bertha hates it and squirms so much that I’m worried she’ll raise a fuss if we insist. Finally, I grab a towel and throw it over my shoulder, taking Bertha and holding her in my arms so that the towel lies over her and mostly obscures her.

“Let’s go,” I say. “You take the lead.”

I feel fucking ridiculous trying to sneak out of the house with a little dog. But still, this shit is funny, and I can’t help it, I start humming the Mission: Impossible theme under my breath as we make our way down the stairs. We’re clear all the way to the back lawn when Roxy’s suddenly on our ass.

“Hey guys! You guys . . .”

I try to hide Bertha, but the dog lets out a little bark, alerting Roxy, and she stops, smiling for a moment before giving us a suspicious look. “Bertha! Mom has been looking all over for her.”

“We found her. Taking her for a walk,” Mindy says, hoping to end the conversation.

“Can I come?” Roxy asks excitedly, seeming to ignore the fact that I’m carrying Bertha.

“Uh . . . no,” Mindy says, giving me a desperate glance.

Roxy scowls. “Why not?”

“Because we’d like a little couple time to ourselves,” I say with a fake embarrassed chuckle. “A nice walk with our little friend here.”

Roxy can't come up with a reason to argue. “Well, give me her if you’re so intent on being with each other. I’ll take her to Mom and you two can go get your outdoor freak on.”

Mindy glances at me, at a loss for words. I think quickly and shake my head. “Actually, Rox, I told your mom I’d find her. I could use the rub on my rep.”

Roxy gives me a grin and a nod. “Okay, okay. Buttering up to Mom some, huh? I don’t think you need it, but whatever. Have at it.”

Roxy goes inside, and Mindy shakes her head when she’s gone. “Why couldn’t she have just listened to me from the get go?”

“Little sisters never listen to big sisters. And what can I say? I have that charm the ladies love.”

I expect some sort of rebuttal but she lowers her lashes. Her reply is almost too soft to be heard. “Yes, you do.”

We walk down to the beach, and as soon as we’re out of sight of the house, I squat down, setting Bertha down. She walks around, sniffing everything, but definitely not interested in pooping yet.

“Fuck me,” Mindy groans, then laughs at her words. “No matter what Roxy said, that’s not an invitation. Not yet.”

“Later,” I remind her, and we start walking. “So, Mindy Price, tell me about yourself. I mean, beyond what I know.”

“If you tell me about you,” she says, looking so sexy in her sundress that I forget for a moment the reason we’re down here. “What do you want to know?”

“Fair,” I reply, grinning. “So . . . first kiss. How old were you?”

“Eighteen,” Mindy says, and I stop, gawking.

“What, did they send you to an all-girls’ school or something?” I ask, trying to imagine how a girl as beautiful as Mindy Price got all the way to eighteen without even kissing a guy. “Was every guy in your school blind?”

Mindy laughs, shaking her head. “Nope. You can thank the orthodontist. I had some pretty badass hardware in my mouth for a few years. Hard to kiss a girl when she looks like an extra in a Mad Max movie. You?”

“Twelve,” I admit, shrugging. “Junior high dance. It was a dare. Trust me, I wish I had a better story. It was terrible.”

Bertha starts doing the dance, and I stop. “Wait . . . I think we’ve hit the jackpot. Come

on, Bertha, baby, show me the money.”

Mindy turns her head, shading her hand over her eyes. “Oh, my God, this is so fucking gross. I’m a coffee vendor, not a plumber,” Mindy says. Bertha finally squats and does her business. “Damn, did it come out?“

I squat down, grabbing a stick and poking in the mess. “There it is.”

“I should’ve brought a barf bag,” Mindy says, gagging. Bertha is herself again at least, running around and doing the little shake. “Well, I guess we got lucky. She looks fine like you said. Come on, let’s go back.”

“Hold on,” I say, reaching out and taking her wrist. “Q and A isn’t done yet, is it?”

Mindy looks down at my hand, then smirks. “Guess not. So, tell me, how many girlfriends did you have in school anyway, Mr. I Got My First Kiss At Twelve?”

I feel heat creep up my neck, then chuckle. I asked for it. “Zero.”

“You liar!” Mindy says with a laugh. “There’s no way you didn’t have a girlfriend. Or ten!”

I shake my head, sobering up. “God’s truth, not even in college. My father . . . well, he pushed me hard. Since my folks were divorced, he turned all of his focus on me. Nothing was ever good enough. All Conference in football? Should’ve been All State. Three point eight GPA? Should’ve been four. I was so stressed by him that keeping a real girlfriend was pretty much impossible.”

“I noticed you emphasized real.” Mindy comments, and I shrug. I won’t lie. “Thank you for not lying.”

“What about you?” I ask, trying to change the focus. “I mean, even with the mouth hardware, your personality had to have gotten you plenty of attention.”

Mindy laughs and hugs her body. “I’ve always been wild, but in that department, it wasn’t always so. In High School, I was the out girl. I was ‘that’ girl.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, feeling drawn to her. I step closer, putting my arms around her waist from behind, and she snuggles against me.

“That girl, you know? The girl who’s fun to hang out with but nothing more. I was the walking, talking personification of the Friend Zone. That changed later, but yep, that was me then.”

I smile, kissing her neck. She moans and reaches back to grab my jeans, pushing her hips into my rapidly hardening cock and making us both gasp.

“Wait,” Mindy says, pulling away and turning to look at me, her lip trembling and her dark eyes wide with arousal and desire. “What about Bertha?”

“She can watch.” I chuckle, reaching for Mindy and pulling her closer. “She won’t run off.”

“And if someone sees us?”

I growl lightly, pulling her against me and kissing her neck. She moans, arching her neck, and I lift her up, whispering in her ear. “Then let them watch and be jealous.”

I reach down, massaging and squeezing the taut swells of her ass, hungry for her body. Bertha yips and yaps but gets distracted by a gull, leaving me with nothing to focus on but Mindy’s body. I stroke and caress her, tugging on the straps of her dress as she pushes away. “What?”

My fears of her backing away are relieved as she drops to her knees, reaching for my belt. “I know you wanted this last night,” she says with a chuckle. “And this morning too.”

My eyes widen as she frees my cock out of my pants and kisses the head, licking around it for a moment as she pumps my shaft before sliding it between her sensual lips. I moan as she swallows more and more of my cock before pulling back. A naughty glint shows in her eyes as she starts pumping my cock in and out of her mouth, bobbing her head while she reaches under and fondles my balls.

She’s amazing, her tongue light as a butterfly’s wing but with every touch sending massive tingles up my cock all the way to my head. I want to grab her hair and throat fuck her, but something holds me back. I’m rewarded when Mindy works more and more of my cock into her mouth until she has me all the way in, the head of my cock lodged in her throat while she makes little gagging sounds of pleasure.

Mindy pulls back, looking up at me with hungry eyes. “I want you to come in my mouth.”

“Why?” I ask, and she laughs lightly.

“Because after this, I want you to fuck me . . . and I don’t think you’ve got a condom on you. So you can finish on my ass.”

Her words send another tingle up my spine as she starts sucking my cock again, faster and faster while her right hand pumps my shaft. I’m groaning, my knees shaking as I try to stay on my feet. Time stretches out, and I cry out, scaring the gulls and almost overwhelming the sound of the waves crashing twenty yards away as my orgasm crashes over me and I fill Mindy’s hungry mouth with my come. She sucks greedily, my eyes rolling back as she milks me, massaging my balls until the last drop is gone. Pulling back, she gives me a naughty grin before smacking her lips. “Yummy.”

I spread out the towel we used to cover Bertha, but it’s not big, and Mindy looks at it for a moment before shaking her head and pulling her panties down her long legs before kneeling on it and looking over her shoulder at me. I read her eyes and drop behind her, kissing her ass as I reach between her legs and massage her dripping wet pussy, sliding a finger inside her as my body recovers.

I kiss closer and closer to the deep valley between her ass cheeks as my finger pumps in and out of her while Mindy moans, lowering her elbows to the sand. I hear Bertha come back, yipping before stopping and wandering off again.

My tongue reaches out to tickle her ass crack, and Mindy gasps but pushes back into my hungry mouth as I wonder . . . have I found the perfect woman? Some women are so shy about this, but Mindy loves it as my tongue circles closer and closer to the puckered knot of her asshole, and when my tongue touches her, she groans from deep inside. “Oh, another time . . .”

I mumble my reply into her ass as I finger fuck her pussy, licking and sucking on her until my cock is hard and throbbing again. I quickly line up behind Mindy, pulling my finger out and reaching up, grabbing her hair for a hold as I thrust deep into her in one long stroke.

Last night, I marveled at how perfect Mindy’s pussy felt wrapped and clenching around my cock, but that was with a condom on. Now, my mind is blown away as I feel her fully, and my body cries out in joy as sensations I’ve never even imagined fill my body. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

My hips take over on their own, pumping my cock in and out of her pussy as she moans in front of me, looking back over her shoulder and grinning at me with lust-crazed eyes. “Give it to me, Oli. Fuck me raw. Make my pussy scream.”

Her constant stream of filthy words drives me on like whips on a thoroughbred, and I hammer her deep and hard, grunting with every thrust of my cock as I watch her eyes, seeing just where to stop and riding that line, my hips smacking against her ass. I pull her up, biting the curve of her neck as she moans, lost in a haze. “You’re mine, Princess.”

“Yours . . .” she moans, and I slow down, pulling back a bit as I push her down again, thrusting my cock in time to the waves, drawing out the ecstasy for both of us. Mindy squirms, pushing back into me after a few minutes, and I speed up again.

It’s hard not to come inside her. Mindy’s body is heaven as she squeezes me, her pussy gripping around my cock as I push her higher and higher. I listen, grinding my hips against her as I speed up, until she cries out, her pussy clamping around me. She’s so tight and thrilling as she comes that I barely pull out in time, another hard jet of seed splattering on her ass before I can turn and leave the rest of it on the sand. I tremble. My cock aches from coming so hard twice so quickly. I can’t believe how much Mindy pushes me.

I think about what we just did. I wasn’t trying to seduce her. I’d totally intended to bring Bertha down here, get the condom out of her, and go back.

I didn’t mean for this to happen. It wasn’t just fucking on the beach.

But that’s what this week was supposed to be. Take the girl out, show her a good time, and clean her pipes if we wanted to.

But not this. Not like this. I never even thought it was possible.

“Oliver?” Mindy asks, and I look up at her, seeing her tentative, concerned smile. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” I lie before getting to my feet. Okay? I’m far from okay. I’m starting to wish this were real. “Come on, let’s keep walking.”