22-year-old Derek Christopoulos, scion of a famous Greek-American political clan, headed up to the nightclub’s VIP room, expecting it to be empty, but instead he found the club’s owner Christien di Luca standing next to the glass wall, his gaze focused blindly on the dance floor below. Blond, blue-eyed, and exceedingly good-looking, the French-Greek billionaire was often likened to an angel –

An ironic thing, Derek thought in sardonic humor, considering how cold-blooded his friend could be.

At the sound of his footsteps, Christien di Luca turned towards Derek’s direction, and when the other man raised an eyebrow, he knew without being told that his friend was surprised by his early arrival.

“I heard Jaike might swing by with Valencia,” Derek explained with a self-mocking smile.

“Ah.” Christien grimaced. It was common knowledge among their small group of friends that Derek was after Jaike Hepburn – a girl whom the entire university knew was with Angelo Valencia.

“Something could be done to separate them,” Christien murmured. “If you wish it?”

Derek shook his head. “Thanks for the offer, but I’ve no plans of making any moves – yet.”

“If that’s the case---” Christien raised a brow. “What are you here for?”

Derek didn’t answer right away and instead came to stand next to his friend, his gaze sweeping the crowd of gyrating patrons below them.

After a beat, he said softly, “I just want to see her.”

“And that’s it?” Christien’s tone was a mixture of skepticism and puzzlement.

“That’s it.” He could probably explain it with a few more words, but Derek knew there was no point doing so. This was Christien di Luca, and although none of them had ever spoken of it aloud, they all knew the truth.

“You must love her very much.”

Derek thought of the countless times in which Jaike had pushed him away - even when they both knew he was the man who should be by her side. “Sometimes, I don’t know if ‘love’ is even the right word to describe how I feel about her.” His broad shoulders moved in a shrug that spoke volumes of his frustration. “All I know is that she’s mine.” His voice turned guttural. “She’s meant to be mine.”

“I see.” This time, his friend’s tone was polite.

Derek smiled despite himself. “You don’t, but you will. Eventually.”

It was Christien’s turn to shrug, murmuring in the same polite tone, “Perhaps.” Before Derek could answer, the other guy inclined his head towards the entrance doors below. “I believe that’s the person you’ve been expecting?”

His green eyes swiftly followed Christien’s line of sight, and his jaw hardened when he spotted Jaike’s familiar auburn locks. A moment later, Angelo Valencia came to join her, the man’s arm going around her shoulders.

Derek’s fists clenched against his side. One day, he thought broodingly. One day, you will be mine.

Swinging away from the glass wall, Derek saw Christien heading towards the en-suite bar. By the time he reached his friend, Christien had already poured whisky for both of them.

“Thought you’d need one after that.” Christien handed him his shot.

“You thought right.” Derek downed his shot in one go.

“That bad?”

“It gets worse every damn time I see them together.” And that was the last time he’d speak of Valencia and Jaike for tonight, Derek thought. Anything more than that, and he might succumb to the urge to snatch Jaike away, everything else be damned.

Deciding to change the subject, he asked Christien about his recent trip to Colorado. “When did you get back anyway?”

“Just an hour ago.”

“Hell, man. And you came straight here? Aren’t you beat?”

“I probably should be, but I’m not.”

Not much of a surprise there, Derek thought grimly. It was an unspoken fact that Christien suffered from insomnia. An advantage, considering that Christien oversaw the world’s most famous lineup of nightclubs, but if one were to dwell longer on the reason behind it –

A more careful scrutiny of his friend’s features left Derek feeling disturbed. Christien typically had an aloof air about him, but it was more than that now. The other man seemed colder, brutally so, and as he poured himself another shot, he asked very casually, “Everything okay, man?”

There was no immediate reply, but when Derek looked up, Christien simply lifted a brow, and Derek knew it was his friend’s polite way of asking what the fuck he was talking about. It had him mentally grimacing as he realized how he had put his foot in that one. He wasn’t normally this tactless, but talking about Christien’s situation ---

Unfamiliar territory would be the politically correct term, Derek thought. But if he were to put it bluntly, like he was wont to do now---

He glanced back at his friend, whose face was as expressionless as his was.

And it was that moment Derek realized whatever he said would be a mere formality.

Christien di Luca knew what was wrong, just as he knew that Derek and their other friends were equally aware of the same thing.

Derek slowly lowered his shot glass back on the counter. “How morbidly bad is it,” he asked finally, “inside your head?”

“If you’re asking me if I’m thinking of killing myself out of plain boredom,” his friend answered blandly, “I’m not.”

Derek didn’t know whether to laugh or blanch. In the end, he only had one word to say. “Fuck.”

“I suppose I could do that, too,” Christien said without missing a beat.

There was a moment of pause, and both of them grinned.

“You know what I mean, asshole.” Although Derek’s tone was light, his green eyes were sharply focused on his friend. “Whenever – anything – you want to talk about---” The other guy started shaking his head, and Derek’s lips compressed in a tight line.

“There is nothing I want to do.”

And that, Derek translated heavily, was precisely the problem here.

On the surface, Christien di Luca seemed to have it all. Although his friend had lost his parents before turning a year old, the French-Greek scion hadn’t been left wanting of people who cared for him. He also had wealth, power, and the kind of good looks that had even made preschool teachers constantly confuse him for a girl when he was young.

Christien did have everything, but none of it seemed to matter enough.

A sardonic smile twisted on Christien’s lips. “You’re looking at me like you want me in a straitjacket.”

Derek didn’t smile back. “If I had thought it would help, I’d have strapped you into one a long time ago.”

“Is that so?” Christien leaned back against his stool. “Does that mean I’ve been a psycho in everyone’s eyes for a long time as well?”

Derek didn’t rise to the bait. “Psycho isn’t an applicable word at all,” he said evenly.

“Would schizophrenic be better?”

Not that one either, he thought.

And if he had to choose a word---

“Apathetic,” he heard himself say, and when something flickered in his friend’s eyes, Derek knew it was what it was, for better or for worse.

For a long time, both of them were silent, the word hanging over them like a ticking bomb.

People either hated or loved. This was the only truth the world knew, and apathy had no place in it. Apathy neither died nor faded. Apathy didn’t exist at all –

So how was one to help Christien di Luca?

“Derek.” Christien’s tone was unemotional. “You’re wasting your time worrying over this.”

“You’re my friend,” Derek gritted out. “Our friend. So we goddamn do worry---”

“Then you’re all worrying unnecessarily,” his friend interrupted calmly. “I know what’s wrong, and as long as I know that how I am is wrong, I’m not going to do anything stupid. Nothing can change the way I am---”

The last words made Derek jolt, the truth striking him like a thunderbolt.

His friend’s gaze narrowed. “What is it?”

Derek didn’t answer right away. It couldn’t be so damn simple, he found himself thinking incredulously. And yet it was. He looked at his friend, this man who had everything but whose eyes always seemed a shadow away from glimpsing death---

“You’re absolutely right,” he heard himself mutter.

“About what?”

“About nothing being able to change the way you are.”

Christien’s face became impassive. “I see.”

“No.” And this time he couldn’t quite keep his lips from curving in a lopsided smile of relief. “You don’t.” And as he gazed at his friend, Derek realized it was the first time in a very long while he could look at Christien di Luca without thinking that the other man was on the edge of ruin.

Inhaling deeply, he said, “I know you don’t like us talking about what’s bothering you---”

“Because I find such conversations not only objectionable---” His friend’s tone was icy. “---but pointless as well.”

Fuck. Knowing that he was treacherously close to destroying his friendship with Christien di Luca, Derek said levelly, “Hear me out this once, and we’ll never speak of it again.”

There was a moment of tense silence before his friend gave him a curt nod.

Derek didn’t waste a second after that and dove right into the heart of the matter, saying bluntly, “I realized you were right when you said that nothing will change the way you are. But it doesn’t mean you’re without hope, di Luca.” Something flashed in the other man’s eyes, and Derek’s tone became fiercer. “I do believe this. Nothing may change how you are now, but someone else could---”

He saw Christien’s lips twist in distaste, and Derek raised his hands in a gesture of acceptance. “Yes, I fucking know how clichéd that sounds. But I also know it’s true. You can’t feel the way you’re supposed to because the right person hasn’t come along yet to teach you how to feel---”

“Enough, Christopoulos.” Christien’s tone remained mild, but his blue eyes had turned icy with disapproval. “While I appreciate your sentiments, you must know that not all of us can be as lucky as you---”

“But if that person does exist---”

Christien shook his head. “Even if she did – it might not make a difference. Don’t you get it? How fucking wrong I am? Even if I were to find a woman who’s my ideal match, the way you believe Jaike Hepburn is for you – it doesn’t mean I can care for her the way you care for Jaike.”

Derek watched his friend pour himself another shot and down it in one gulp. Lowering it back to the table, the other man stared sightlessly at his reflection, and that was when he spoke.

“Let’s just accept I’m a lost cause.”

Derek didn’t even have to think, saying grimly, “I’d be an asshole if I did, and you a coward.”

Christien stiffened, but Derek met his friend’s gaze head on. “That is what you’ll be if you give up this early---”

“I just don’t think it will make a difference whether I meet someone---”

“You don’t think, but you don’t fucking know. So at least wait, di Luca. Just goddamn wait and give that anonymous girl time to find her way to you. Wait until she stumbles into your life, wait and see if she can have you feeling something strong enough to make you look uncool. If that girl came into your life and you still don’t change---” Derek drew a deep, tense breath. “---I’ll kill you myself if that’s what it takes to free you.”