I sit in the corner of the worn floral sofa with a bowl of popcorn between my legs when all I want is Cooper between my legs.

“Don’t you love him?”

I nearly fumble the bowl of popcorn. “Who?” I ask too fast.

“Ian Somerhalder, silly.” Mom leans forward to get a closer peek at the sexy man on the screen. “Who did you think I was talking about?”

I avoid the question. “You’re such a cougar.”

Mom laughs. “I’m old. Not dead. How about one more?”

I look at the grandfather clock sitting in the corner. The pendulum swings back and forth keeping track of every second I’m down here. Every second I’m away from Cooper.

“I don’t know, don’t you think three is enough?” Once you scroll past the commercials, they are only about forty minutes each, but I’ve spent two hours watching vampire drama and vampire sex, and all I want is to snuggle up against Cooper.

“Please,” she begs. “Your father is a snoring, farting, La-Z-Boy ornament. I rarely have company watching my guilty pleasures. Surely you can spare another hour for your mom.”

I sink back into the comfy sofa and sigh. “I’m all yours.”

She starts the next episode, and I’m stuck for another forty minutes.

When I finally reach my room, I close the door softly behind me. My heart beats like a drum in my chest. Tonight is the night. Years of longing and want will be buried the minute he sinks himself into my body.

I look around my room. It still screams teenager from the Keith Urban poster on the wall to the collage of high school photos taped above my desk. Not wanting my friends or Keith to witness what will go down in this room tonight, I pull everything down and shove it into my closet. Tonight is about Cooper and me, and no one else is invited.

Next, I rummage through my drawers to find the sexiest pair of panties I have. A little pink thong my college roommate bought me when she saw my white cotton briefs. I saved them for a special occasion. Tonight is about as special as it will get.

My socked feet make no sound as I cross the bathroom floor to his door. Thinking I’ll tell him I’m going to shower first, I twist the handle and find it locked.

“Cooper,” I whisper into the doorjamb hoping he’ll hear me. “I’m going to shower and then I’ll be waiting for you.”

I stand still hoping he’ll answer but I hear nothing, so I start the shower, undress, and climb into the mist.

The hot water glides over my body—the heat pulsing against my sore muscles. Who knew an orgasm could strain a muscle, but I feel the strain of my first in every part of my body. It is a whole body experience that starts in my toes and ricochets straight to my brain while simultaneously threading and wrapping around my spine until it twists and coils around my womb and explodes outward.

My sudsy hand reaches between my legs. Deliciously tender from the scruff on his face, I wonder if every orgasm is the same or if some are better than others. Will my first be my best and then all others will pale in comparison?

Although I shaved this morning, I pick up the razor and give my legs another pass. Tonight has to be perfect. I don’t want this to be a one and done experience. I’ve loved Cooper for far too long to let him go after one night of passion.

When I’m out of the shower, I tap on the door and whisper, “I’m ready.” Then I race to my bed and climb nearly naked under the covers. The only thing I’m wearing is the thong and my heart on my sleeve.

I try over a dozen positions to find the one Cooper will think is sexiest. Leg out of the cover. Sheet falling over my breasts. Back turned with only a peek of my bottom. I settle on the sheet half on and half off, draped over my body like a toga so I look like a Grecian Goddess, or so I hope. I take a selfie and send it to him with the caption, “I’ve been waiting years for tonight.”

I wait and wait. Every sound I hear makes my heart race. Footsteps in the hallway have me holding my breath. My door opens a crack.

“Good night, sweetheart.” My mom’s voice echoes through the silence, but I don’t answer. I never considered she’d do a bed check. Is that what that was? I grip the sheet and pull it to my neck hoping she didn’t get a glimpse of what I wasn’t wearing.

The door closes and I let out a long exhale. My eyes never leave the bathroom door because that’s where I assume Cooper will enter.

A moonbeam sneaks past a break in my blinds and spotlights the bathroom door perfectly. I wait and watch and wait and watch and wait.

* * *

Something tickles my cheek. My skin prickles with a chill, and I pull the comforter high to my neck trying to shake off the cold that covers my body. My brain wakes up and I realize I’m naked in my bed—alone.

I sit up and look around the room. Nothing has changed from last night. No, that’s not right. Something has changed. Cooper didn’t come to my room and my heart breaks a little.

On the pillow next to me lies a single sunflower. He was here, but he didn’t ravish me. He brought me a flower and left. I wasn’t sure if I should be pleased or pissed. The flower meant he was thinking of me, but what was he thinking?

The jury is out until I have a cup of coffee and can give the situation more thought.

Mom is at the sink washing dishes when I come down dressed in jeans and boots and a T-shirt with a picture of a donut that says EAT ME.

“That’s an awful shirt, Ellie.” Mom wipes her hand on the terrycloth towel hanging from the oven door handle.

“It’s a funny shirt, Mom.” I reach past her to grab a coffee mug from the cupboard.

“It’s suggestive. Like an invitation.” Mom pours me a cup of coffee all the while shaking her head at my shirt.

I think about the afternoon in the tack room with Cooper. “Men don’t need a formal invitation, Mom.”

She tops off her cup and walks to the end of the island. “About that…”

I laugh. “We are not having a birds and bees talk again. The one you gave me when I was a teen is still stuck in my head.” Truth is, that obligatory conversation happened around the time I was fifteen. Back when I put myself in Cooper’s path every chance I got. Back when I didn’t realize he noticed me too. Back when he knew better than me the wait will be worth it. And here I am, still waiting. Yesterday, he gave me a taste. Actually, he took a taste and left me wanting more.

Mom’s eyes grow as big as saucers. “How far beyond are we?”

I slide into the stool next to her. “Sophomore year of college, I lost my virginity to a boy who didn’t deserve me. He was handsome and charming and on a mission to break a record.”

Mom wraps her arm around my shoulder and pulls me into her ample bosom. “I’m sorry, honey. If it’s any consolation, the first time is rarely satisfying.”

The second time wasn’t either. “Live and learn they say.”

Mom sips her coffee. “Are you still on birth control?” Mom put me on the pill before I left for college.

I turn my body so I face her. “Is there something you want to ask?”

She fidgets in her seat. “No, it’s just that I see the way you look at Cooper.”

I wrap my hands around the cup. “How do I look at Cooper?” I know how I look at him. Like he’s the hot fudge on a sundae, but I didn’t think I was so obvious.

“You’ve always had kind of a crush on him.”

I smile at the kind-of-a-crush comment. I’ve been in love with Cooper Jackson since I was fourteen when he came to work on our ranch.

“Don’t worry about Cooper and me. We aren’t kids, Mom.”

“No, but our ranch works with his, so if something were to happen between you two and it didn’t work out then it could make everything awkward between our families.”

I roll my eyes. “Come on, Mom, we raise cattle. We don't broker world peace.”

Mom shrugs her shoulders. “I love you, and I’m pretty crazy about Cooper. Just be careful. You just got home, he just took over his family ranch. There are a lot of moving pieces.”

I thought about moving pieces, like his hands on my body, his head between my legs, his tongue on my clit. Yep, I like our moving pieces.

“Speaking of moving pieces. What can I help with today?” All talk of Cooper and me ends and Mom rattles off a list that will take me hours to complete.