Friday afternoon, Alyssa helped me get ready for the dinner party.

"I bet Logan dies when he sees you. You look gorgeous," she said as she curled my hair with my curling iron.

We'd decided I should wear my hair down, in long flowing waves, since it seemed like Logan had a thing for hair.

I swiped mascara across my eyelashes. "I hope he likes it. I can only imagine how hot Olivia is. A guy like Logan could get any girl he wanted."

"You're not exactly a hag, Raven." Alyssa rolled her eyes. "I'd give anything to have your dark complexion and hair.” I could tell she was trying to be ultra-upbeat because she felt guilty about putting doubts in my mind in the first place. So I was trying to go along with it for her sake.

I looked at my reflection. I knew I was pretty, but it just seemed like with my luck I must not be pretty enough.

Unless it was something else.

Was I just not nice enough? I'd been pretty mean to Lexi Stevens when she started dating Noah. Was karma keeping me from getting what I wanted? My mom was always telling me that when we put something into the universe, we can't help but be affected by it…

I sighed. "Maybe I need to be nicer. Maybe that's it. Maybe Olivia is really a super, generous, compassionate person." I mean, Logan had volunteered to help with the Winter Wonderland thing while I'd only gone because I'd been forced into it by my mother. Maybe he wanted someone who thought more about other people instead of themselves.

"You're nice, too." Alyssa wrapped some of my hair around the curling iron, and I just cocked an eyebrow and stared at her until she snickered. "Okay, so maybe you can be a little rude sometimes, but you're getting better. And they do say that the first step to recovery is admitting that there’s a problem." She grinned.

I laughed and picked up my blush brush. "At least I'm on my way then."

I finished with my makeup and Alyssa finished with my hair a few minutes later. Then I put on the dress I'd worn to prom last spring. It was a gray, off-the-shoulder dress with a long, full skirt with layers and layers of tulle.

When I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I couldn't help but smile. The last time I'd worn this dress, I'd been going to Prom with a guy who'd shown up drunk when he picked me up, and then when we were only about halfway through the night, he'd tried to lure me into a hotel room.

Sadly, most of my formal dances had gone similarly.

This dress deserved a second chance, just like the girl wearing it deserved a chance to land the right twin. I had no idea where Logan was with his feelings these days, but I was determined not to go down without a fight.

A few minutes later, my mom called my name from the bottom of the stairs. I looked at my reflection in the mirror once more.

"You can do this, Raven," I whispered to myself. I could make a guy see that I was worth putting some effort into. I was worth Logan seeing me for what I was. Someone like him. Perhaps a little rough around the edges, but someone he clicked with.

I lifted my skirt high enough that I wouldn't trip on it as I went down the stairs. When I turned a corner, I saw him. He was wearing a gray suit with a silky navy-blue tie. But then my gaze went to his hair and I stopped. His hair was combed neatly, just the way it had been two weeks ago under the mistletoe. The same way Jace wore it.

Had Logan decided to send his brother?

"Jace?" I asked, trying not to let my disappointment show too much on my face.

The Carmichael twin, whose identity I wasn’t sure of, gave me a wary look before saying, "No. It's Logan." Then he furrowed his brow. "Were you hoping it was Jace?"

"No, of course not." I hurried down the stairs. The last thing I needed was for Logan to think I was still hung up on his brother. He'd already been way too worried about that happening in the past. I stopped in front of him and pointed to his hair. "I just know Jace combs his hair like that and Logan only does when he's pretending to be Jace."

Relief showed on his face. "Oh. Okay."

I bit my lip as I looked at him. He still looked just like Jace. "Are you really Logan?"

His lips lifted into a teasing smile. "Can you really still not tell us apart?"

I shrugged. "Usually the hair and the hat clue me in." I sighed. "I haven't watched you two together enough recently to see the little differences yet."

How could I expect Logan to tell me he liked me when I couldn't even tell him apart from his brother?

And since I was pathetic, I had to ask, “At the risk of sounding pathetic, can you tell me what I ordered you when you took me to Cafe Amore so I know for sure that you’re Logan?"

He smirked, and I saw some of what could only be Logan shining through. "If you must test me, then you ordered me the most delicious French dip sandwich along with a berry salad that changed my life."

I sighed with relief and smiled. It was Logan. "Thanks for clearing that up."

"No problem."

Then he seemed to look me over. I noticed the way his gaze lingered on my hair and I was happy that I'd decided to wear it down.

His expression softened, and it made my stomach muscles tighten. "You look beautiful tonight, by the way."

I dipped my head down as nerves crept over me. "Thank you."

Then it was my turn to take in his appearance. His gray suit looked amazing on him. "You don't look so bad yourself." My fingers itched to run through his hair and put it back the way it normally was. He looked good like this. But I liked his "Logan" look better than his "Jace" look. "I do kind of miss your messy hair, though."

He shrugged. "I look like Jace like this, so you should be happy.” He said it lightly, like he was joking, but I couldn’t help but wonder if there was a part of him that still thought I might prefer Jace.

Was that why he hadn’t invited me to hang out until today? Maybe he had been waiting for me to make the next move, but when I didn’t, he’d decided to make his ex-girlfriend jealous instead.

He looked at his watch. "Anyway, we better get going. Dinner starts at six-thirty."

I followed him out the door, and as I walked beside him, not holding his hand like I ached to do, I couldn't help but think that we needed to have a conversation about how I felt about him and how he felt about me soon.

I just hoped that when he saw Olivia again tonight, it wouldn't be too late.

"Okay, so do you remember the plan for tonight?" Logan stopped me in the garage right before we went inside the house. "You're going to pretend to be my girlfriend, just like I pretended for you last week with Noah."

I swallowed. "Right."

He studied my eyes. "You sure you can do it?"

"Of course." I wanted him to call me his girlfriend for real, but I could pretend to be his fake girlfriend.

He held his hand out to me. "Then let's do this."

I intertwined my fingers with his and let him pull me into the house.

Logan led me into his family's formal dining room. There was a long rectangular table, polished dark wood, in the middle with low hanging chandeliers above it. Everyone was already seated at the table when we walked in: his dad, his mom, Jace, and four other people I hadn't seen before who I assumed were Olivia’s family. And right next to the two empty chairs was a blonde in a champagne-colored dress.

Olivia.

"Sorry we're late," Logan said, pulling me farther into the room. And when Olivia saw our hands linked together, her expression turned sour. She smoothed the look up into a smile a moment later, but I'd seen it. And I would hold it in my mind. I had a feeling I might need to remember it tonight. Because just like I'd feared, Olivia was gorgeous.

"You're not late," Mr. Carmichael said with a twinkle in his eyes. "We simply sat down early."

Logan pulled out the empty chair beside Jace for me to sit in, and then he took the one beside me. Which, to my dismay, was also beside Olivia.

She’d better not try anything funny under the table.

A few people in white button-up shirts and black pants walked into the room carrying plates of food. As they set them in front of the dinner guests, I heard Olivia say to Logan, "I was worried you heard I was coming and that you decided not to show up." Her voice was lower pitched than I'd expected. When I'd imagined her speaking, it had always been in a much more shrill-sounding voice in my head.

"I'd never dream of missing dinner with your family." Logan lifted his napkin from the table and set it on his lap. "I just ran into traffic when I went to pick up Raven." He turned to me and leaned back so Olivia could see me. "This is Raven, by the way."

"Raven?" Olivia pasted a fake smile onto her face as the server set her plate in front of her. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too," I replied, hoping my words didn't come out as fake-sounding as hers had.

Olivia looked back to Logan. "So, are you two old friends?"

Logan reached over and took my hand in his, linking our fingers together and resting our hands on his thigh. "Raven and I were neighbors growing up, but I was lucky enough to convince her to be my girlfriend shortly after we moved back." He squeezed my hand like he wanted me to say something to follow up.

I cleared my throat. "Yeah, Logan and I go way back. But when he kissed me under the mistletoe that first night back, all my old feelings for him came rushing back." I just wouldn't mention that those feelings had mostly been annoyance and frustration over having been tricked.

Olivia's eyes widened. "He kissed you his first night back?"

I nodded and gave Logan my most loving look. "Yeah. It was the best first kiss I've ever had."

He looked at me, and I'd expected a smirk from him since we were just playing along, but instead, he gave me a questioning one. "Your best first kiss?"

I nodded and forced myself to maintain eye contact. It was risky to let him know just how much my feelings had changed and grown for him. But I couldn't expect amazing things to happen if I didn't put myself out there. I squeezed his hand. "It was."

A slow smiled lifted his lips, and he surprised me by kissing the top of my head quickly. "It was my best first kiss, too."

Dinner was delicious despite having Olivia glaring at me all night. But once dessert was served, I was relieved to excuse myself to go to the bathroom.

All throughout dinner, Logan had been super sweet and attentive. He held my hand, sometimes placing his on my thigh in a romantic gesture. Basically, he was acting like the boyfriend I'd always wanted, and it was so hard not knowing if there was any truth behind what he was doing. Or if it was all just a show for Olivia.

He'd said he wanted to show her that he'd moved on, but I think my brain was wanting so badly for it to be real that it was inventing the little soft looks and the reasons for why he kept bumping against me and touching me.

Was it completely stupid of me to hope there were real feelings mixed in there somewhere?

I looked in the mirror and tried to tell myself that it didn't matter. That I would be okay if it turned out to be exactly what Logan had talked about this morning. I had pretty much hated him two weeks ago. I would be totally fine if he decided to rekindle things with Olivia.

But I knew I was just lying to myself.

I wanted him.

If I was one of those little kids sitting on Santa's lap and telling him what I wanted for Christmas, I knew exactly what I'd ask for. I'd ask for Logan. For Logan Carmichael to be mine and for me to be his. That was what I wanted Santa to bring me this year. Not just a weekend of fun with Logan, but as much time as I could get.

So I knew what I needed to do. I needed to tell him how I felt. I needed to be brave and put myself out there. I needed to risk getting my heart broken again, because if I didn't, I'd be no better off than I was now. At least if I told him how I felt, he'd know, and then maybe he'd tell me his feelings. Good or bad. I needed to know so I could stop making myself crazy.

So I dried my hands on one of their fancy towels, remembering how kindly Logan had treated me the first time I came to their house. He'd bandaged me up. He'd taken care of me. He'd treated me like no other guy had treated me before.

This could work. Maybe things would go my way for once. I would finally get the guy—maybe not the guy I'd thought I always wanted—but the guy who was so unbelievably perfect for me it was crazy I hadn't figured it out sooner.

I switched off the light and walked out into the hall. But when I turned the corner, I tripped on my dress, because there, against the wall, just fifteen feet away was Logan with his back to me, kissing Olivia with such fierceness I felt like I might need to wash my eyes with holy water based on how hot the passion between them was.

I’d thought our hot tub kiss had been good, but it had nothing on this.

And a sob like I'd never heard before, ripped out of me.

He'd picked her. Just like every other guy I'd ever wanted. He'd picked the other girl.