Chapter 8

Ella

I picked up my hair straightener and then set it down, my hand going to my curling iron. But before I could plug that in, I hesitated and went back to the straightener. Dammit, there was no use.

“Hey, Jo!” I called. “Should I go with straight hair or cutesy curls?”

“Definitely curls!” Jo shouted back from her room. I had hauled most of my stuff over to her place so I wouldn’t have to get ready alone and subsequently chicken out, but now I was beginning to regret my decision. “It’s more holiday-themed.”

I should stay home. Going to the party was stupid. It would put me near Drayer in a non-work setting, and honestly, that wasn’t a position I wanted to be in. But I also did want to be in that position. I missed his smile and the low rumble that proceeded all of his laughs whenever I said something he found funny. I missed our back and forth and, although I had been working hard to avoid him all week, I wanted to know what he had to say to me.

“Okay,” I answered back, grabbing the iron and turning it on while I finished doing my eyebrows. Thanks to a scar I got from skateboarding when I was younger, I had a nice gap on my left one that I liked to fill in on special occasions.

Wait, was this a special occasion? The logical part of my mind told me no, but the rest told me unequivocally, adamantly, yes.

It took another solid half hour for me to get myself looking appropriately presentable, and when I was finished, I was more nervous than ever.

“Chill out, girl,” Jo said, exiting her room also ready to go. She looked stunning as ever, wearing a sheath-like dress that hugged her many curves just so. It had enough cleavage to be va-va-voom but not enough to get in trouble at a corporate event.

To be honest, sometimes I was a bit jealous of my friend. I had never been much into typically feminine things and hadn’t really gotten into makeup until a year ago. I still knew almost nothing about hair or fashion, and Jo loved each of those things dearly. And although she was what some people would consider chubby, I thought her hourglass figure was to die for. If I were a straight man, I would absolutely be drooling over her wherever she went.

I sighed, and Jo gave me a curious look. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” I said, looking at my oversized Christmas sweater and leggings, wondering if I should change. “Just feeling a bit underdressed.”

“Are you kidding? You look great. That is so you. Especially,” she paused and hurriedly shuffled back in her room before coming back out with a thick, black belt, “if you wear this around that nice little waist of yours.” She tossed it to me, and I caught it, securing it fairly snugly. “Yes! Now that’s what I’m talking about. Yummy!”

I blushed at that and laughed. She always knew what to say to make me feel better. “You ready to go?”

“Yup. Just let me throw on my jacket and make sure I have everything we might need in my purse.”

I grabbed my own coat and wrapped myself up appropriately in some scarfs, mittens, and beanies. Then we both headed out into the cold.

I sounded like a broken record in my own head, telling myself I shouldn’t be going, that I should stay home in my pajamas with some hot cocoa, and yet I didn’t get off the subway. I didn’t turn around and change my mind. I was the master of my own destruction, even though I knew better.

We arrived not too much later and, although it felt odd to be at work after closing hours, we marched right in and headed to back of the store where the party was supposed to be taking place.

“Wow,” Jo remarked. “Jimmy really went all-out on these decorations.”

“I think it was his wife, actually.”

I nearly jumped out of my skin as Nick surprised us. He walked far too quietly for being so tall. Maybe it was because he was on the slender, waifish side.

“Oh, hey there, Nick,” Jo said, playfully punching his arm. “I’m surprised to see you actually on time for something. Did we accidentally cross over into a parallel universe?”

“Yes, actually,” he answered so smoothly that for a moment, I was impressed. “It’s really fascinating. Maybe I can explain it all to you over some drinks.”

Jo laughed, tilting her head back and laughing through ruby lips. “Sure. It is the holidays, after all.”

They walked off arm in arm, and I could have been wrong but, judging by the expression on Nick’s face, he was completely enamored with Jo’s look tonight. Huh, that was interesting. I never noticed that before.

I stood there, giving them enough of a head start so we wouldn’t end up at the proverbial punch bowl at the same time, when I heard footsteps approaching me. Turning, I wasn’t surprised to see Drayer striding toward me, looking charming as always with a crooked smile.

“Hey, you made it!”

“That I did,” I answered, swallowing hard. “My magical reindeer was sure and true.”

“Lucky me then.” His hand ruffled through his hair which somehow seemed thicker than when we had first met a little over a week ago. “Hey, wanna find a nice corner and talk?”

No. No, no, no. That was a terrible idea. I should politely refuse and be on my way. “Sure. I don’t have anything planned.”

And then we were grabbing drinks from the makeshift bar and strolling over to a couple of seats against the wall. People were filing in, no doubt NYC traffic and the weather delaying their arrival.

“You know, every year I say I can’t wait for snow, but then it arrives, and sure, it’s nice for two days, but then it turns brown and gross and the whole world looks disgusting.”

I barked out a laugh at that, surprised at the sudden topic. “I never look forward to snow,” I answered, shaking my head. “It makes the whole world inconvenient.”

“It really does, doesn’t it?”

We shared another chuckle, and I felt myself start to relax and have fun despite myself.

But I couldn’t let myself go too much. I couldn’t allow myself to get too close to him, which I had told myself about ten times in the past hour.

“It makes me want to run away to some place where it’s warm,” I said, pausing to take a sip of my drink.

“Oh, that sounds nice. Somewhere with a lot of beaches and palm trees?”

“Exactly.”

“You know, the thought of you on a beach in one of those cute little bathing suits almost has me wanting to follow you.”

“Nah, I wouldn’t recommend that,” I retorted before I could stop myself. “The best view of me is from the front.”

“I would disagree with that, but you’re the expert.”

“That I am. I’ve been with this body all my life, so I’ve gotten to know all of its twist, turns, and curves.”

“I bet you have. An illustrious degree for certain.”

“One with only one graduate so far.”

“No, that’s truly a shame. I, for one, am a huge proponent of continuing education.”

“I’m sure you are. Too bad the requirements are so exclusionary.”

He leaned forward, his tone dropping and his eyes seeming to look right through me. “I imagine they would have to be for such an illustrious master’s, but I would love to hear how you get into such a program.”

Oh God! It was getting a little steamy in here. I needed to change the topic fast.

“I think it’s nice that workers feel comfortable enough to bring their families here.”

He looked taken aback by my sudden conversation jump but rolled with it. “Yeah. I thought about inviting mine up, but they came up for Thanksgiving, and it’s such a long journey that I feel guilty asking them to spend all the money to come up again. Especially when flights are so unpredictable.”

“Your family is far away?” I asked, truly curious. I didn’t know why it seemed important to know about his life, but it did.

“Oh, yeah. All the way in good ol’ Illinois. They’re well enough off but not so much that they can hop on multiple flights all around the holidays. I thought about going down to them, but I also need to save up money, so, eh, it is what it is.”

His dark eyes flicked to her, and he smiled softly. “What about you?”

Crap. I should never have brought that subject up. What was I thinking?

“They’re … around.”

“Vague. I’m guessing there’s some backstory there?”

I shrugged and looked back into my drink. Thankfully, he sensed I didn’t want to answer further and turned the conversation back to himself and his family.

I listened for a bit, but with every second that passed, I could feel myself being more and more drawn to him. It coiled in my stomach and rushed through my veins. I wanted nothing more than to straddle his lap and have a full-on make-out session, but I couldn’t.

“You know what? I realize I haven’t checked in on Jo in a while. I’m gonna go see what she’s doing.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“I’ll see you around,” I said, quickly getting up.

Clearly, Drayer was confused by the sudden change, but he didn’t object as I walked away. I could only heave a sigh of relief, wondering why I was doing this to myself.

It was like I’d never learned.

I made my way over to Jo and quickly pulled her aside from Nick. I felt a flash of guilt for a moment. She certainly looked like she was having fun, but I wanted to make sure she knew what was going on.

“Hey, I’m going to head home, okay?”

“What?” she objected with wide eyes. “Why?” The expression on my face must have answered because she didn’t wait for a reply and just gave me a warm hug. “I’ll see you later.”

“Later,” I said quietly. With a short nod to Nick, I turned on my heel and marched right out.

I was an idiot to come here, but at least I was getting out in time.