Anna almost always slept once she was in a car, but tonight she had no interest in that. The meltdown continued all the way to my house, and she was crying just as loudly when I got her out of the car. Emmett helped me bring in my bag of oranges and my other groceries while I went to change Anna’s diaper and settle her down for sleep.

It was like a miracle—the minute she was down in the crib, she started to drift off to sleep. I turned on the baby monitor and tiptoed out of the room, as quietly as possible, before going back to join Emmett. I threw off my jacket, draping it over the back of my couch as I passed through the living room into the kitchen.

“It’s so beautiful,” he said, gesturing to the Christmas tree I had set up in my living room.

“Oh,” I said, turning to the tree. “Yeah. I got a little lonely the other night,night and decided that only a pretty Christmas tree could fix how I felt. I spent hours setting it up.” I reached down, clicking on the white string lights that wrapped around the tree. They filled the room with a beautiful, glowy light.

Emmett smiled at the tree. “God, it’s perfect.”

“Makes it feel so much cozier in here.”

Emmett turned back to the grocery bags, rustling around. He held up the can of tomatoes and the packets of herbs, grinning. “Were you trying to make the tomato sauce tonight?” he asked.

I nodded, smiling sheepishly. “Guilty as charged.”

“And you got basil, parsley, and a full packet of sage leaves?”

“I didn’t exactly remember what you used. I was just going to throw them all in there and hope for the best.”

Emmett laughed, stepping toward me and wrapping his arms around my neck. “Well, good thing I’m here to show you how to do it right, huh?”

“You can show me how to do anything you’d like,” I said, leaning forward and pressing my lips to his. He hummed as I kissed him, opening his mouth to mine. There was zero hesitation—he’d said he trusted me, and I felt it in his kiss, his touch; I had seen it in his eyes.

He was finally opening up to me, and it felt like I’d won the biggest prize of my life.

He pressed against me, pushing me back against the cool marble countertop, rutting forward. He was completely unrestrained, not holding back at all, and I didn’t think it was possible but he was even sexier that way than he’d ever been before. His hand trailed down to the edge of my shirt, making its way underneath and skating over my bare skin. I was heated and flushed all over, warming under his touch as he kissed down lower against my neck and then my collarbone.

There was so much I wanted to say to him, so much we needed to talk about—but right now, nothing felt more right than his body against mine. I was starved for it, I needed it, and somewhere at the back of my mind, I knew that the talking could come later.

I could feel his cock, hard against mine through the fabric—he was only wearing sweatpants, and I wondered idly if he even had anything underneath them.

All at once it hit me: I wanted Emmett inside me. I wanted to feel that closeness with him, to give myself to him, to feel him move in me, as close as we could physically be.

Emmett and I had never talked about things like this, logistically—I didn’t know if he strictly topped or strictly bottomed, didn’t know if he’d even want to do something like this. I actually more often was comfortable topping, but every now and then, I had a deep desire to be fucked.

And I certainly had that desire right now—the thought of Emmett inside me had made me so hard that I worried I was going to start leaking right through my pants.

I bit my bottom lip as I felt him pressing warm kisses against my chest, not knowing if I should broach the subject.

But he’d told me he trusted me.

And I had to trust him, too.

“Emmett,” I whispered.

“Hmm?” he murmured, still unbuttoning my shirt slowly as his hand snuck further upward and brushed across my nipple. I let out a long, slow shudder as my cock throbbed in my pants.

“I want you to fuck me,” I said.

“Oh my God,” he said, his lips still against my skin as he thrust his hips forward, pushing his hard cock against me in a gesture of thick sexual frustration. “Holy shit, Ryan,” he said, lifting his head up, staring up at me with half-lidded eyes. “You… you want that?”

I nodded slowly, running my hands down across his back, and along his ass. “I really do,” I whispered, “if it’s something you’re okay with.”

He let out a slow, warm chuckle. “Jesus, Ryan, I am so much more than “okay” with that,” he said. “I will fuck you for as long as you need.”

I let out a shuddering sigh, excitement rolling through me.

“I want to fuck you,” he said, pressing a kiss to my chest after unbuttoning the last button on my shirt, “I want you to fuck me,” he said before another slow, wet kiss against my nipple, “I want it both ways, any way, every single fucking way, as long as it’s with you.”

I groaned, a low rumble, needing him now. I hitched my hands under his ass, pulling him upward. He let out the smallest little cry of shock as I lifted him into the air, and I smiled at him as I carried him through the living room, down the long hallway, and to my bedroom at the end of the hall. The lights were off, but the long curtains on the big glass windows in my room were all open, and the ambient light from outside reflected off the snow, filling the room with a faint cool light.

I set Emmett back down onto the floor, and he picked up right where he left off. He pushed off my shirt quick, tossing it aside onto the floor, bringing his mouth back to my chest and pushing me back onto the bed. Before long he had worked off the button and zipper on my pants, too, and was tugging them off impatiently as he pressed kisses against my stomach.

I pushed up, helping him remove my pants and underwear, and then I was naked, lying on the bed, while he remained fully clothed above me.

I enjoyed the brief moment while he was still totally clothed and I was bare—it felt so vulnerable, but also so good, giving him all the control and letting him have his way with me.

I ran my hand along his sweatpants, gripping the outline of his cock through the soft material. He groaned, sinking back down and crushing his lips to mine, kissing me as I slowly worked the fabric downward until his cock was freed from the confines. After rutting against me desperately for a few moments, he kicked off his pants and pulled off his shirt in one swift motion.

And then there was nothing between us—just bare skin against bare skin, burning hot in the slightly chilly air.

“Fuck me,” I whispered, pulling his face down close to mine again.

“Impatient, much?” he said with a small smile, reaching down to gently, teasingly stroke my cock. It was slicked with precum.

“Yes,” I said, “Yes, I am impatient. It’s about time, Emmett,” I whispered near his ear before giving him a gentle nibble against his neck. “I’ve wanted you to fuck me since the first night I met you.”

He moaned. “Wow,” he whispered. “Did you really? You wanted it that night?”

“Of course I did. I also wanted to fuck you, too, though,” I said, reaching my arm around him and squeezing his ass hard, eliciting another delicious moan from him. “Like you said, I want everything with you.”

His lips met mine in a deep kiss again—this time, so tender and slow and sweet—a sharp contrast to our cocks, so heavy and hard between us, sliding against one another in frustrated desire. His mouth was just gentle, though, before he pulled away, looking into my eyes.

“I’m so fucking happy to be with you, Ryan,” he said, and for a moment I wondered if he was about to cry. I wondered if I was about to cry.

But then his mouth was on me again, at my neck, trailing down my chest, licking all the way toward the base of my cock until he laid a long, so hot, so wet stripe across my balls with his tongue.

“Oh my God,” I called out, reaching out to the side and gripping the sheets of the bed into my fist. Emmett kept his mouth there, gently sucking and tonguing me, as his hands worked their way to my thighs, pulling my legs apart and hitching me up so that he could access my ass.

And then I watched as he pushed one finger into his mouth, sucking it slowly, slicking it before he brought the finger to my hole and gently started circling around me. His lips returned to my balls and my cock, lavishing me with slow, torturous attention as he teased with his finger against my ass.

He hummed, lifting his head, meeting my eyes as he paused for a moment. “Lube?” he asked, and I quickly reached over to the nightstand and produced a small bottle, passing it down to him. I also pulled out a condom, setting it next to us on the bed, and when he spotted it, he gave me a rakish, devilish smile.

He slicked his finger with the lube, and when he touched me again, I moaned at the sensation. I knew he was going to have to go slow, to tease me open with his fingers before he fucked me, but I couldn’t help being impatient, wanting more, wishing he could plunge into me right then.

After teasing me for another few minutes, he slowly worked two fingers inside me. It was a tight stretch, but at the same time it felt so good, exactly what I had wanted and been waiting for. I started grinding against his hand as I opened more and more to him, and he watched me from above the whole time, patiently making sure I felt okay.

“I can take it, Emmett,” I said, rutting against him hard.

“I know you can,” he said, running his free hand down along my chest and to my hip. He still just kept the two fingers in me, pushing inside me in a slow motion, every now and then pressing up against my prostate and making me shudder and moan. “I like teasing you, though.”

I groaned. I let out a long breath, looking down at him, seeing his hard cock underneath him, dripping just as much as mine was. I reached down, closing my fist around it. “Oh yeah?” I said, my voice breathy. “I can play that game, too,” I said. I started stroking his cock in a steady, firm motion, slicking my hand with his precum, running my finger along the tip.

He let out a slow shudder, biting his bottom lip.

“You are fucking beautiful,” I said. It was more just a fact than a compliment—it was so undeniable, his taut, lightly toned muscles flexing every time he thrust forward into my hand, the fine motions of his forearm as he pushed his fingers inside of me. I could have watched him forever, would have submitted to a lifetime of pure teasing from him if it meant that I could watch him like this.

But finally, it seemed like he was just as impatient as I was. His fingers slowly slid out of me, and he reached over toward the condom, handing it to me. He nodded, gesturing down, and I realized that he was asking me to put it on for him.

Just that small gesture made my cock throb in anticipation. As I pulled out the condom and started to gently roll it over him, it only stoked me further. I was readying him for me, readying myself for him. He watched closely as my fingers rolled it over his cock and then slicked him with lube, taking my sweet time as I slid it over his cock. I gave him another squeeze before he repositioned himself.

He hitched me a little bit lower onto the bed, putting his arms underneath the small of my back to lift me into the right position.

“Is this good for you?” he said. “You can flip onto your stomach if you need?”

“This is perfect,” I said. “I like being able to see your face. Watch you, when you’re inside me.”

He moaned, nodding in agreement. “I want to see you, too.”

I felt the tip of his cock lining up with my hole and had a brief flash of nervous anticipation. He met my eyes before he started pushing inside me, slow and steady, but never stopping.

“Am I hurting you?” he said, his voice so low.

“You’re fucking incredible,” I said, breathless. “Don’t stop.”

“I’m not stopping,” he said. “I’ve got you.”

He filled me up completely, and I felt myself relaxing around him, tension melting away as the base of his cock finally pressed all the way inside me.

“Oh fuck,” he moaned, furrowing his brow, watching me closely. “Tell me how you’re doing, Ryan.”

“Good,” I said, “So fucking good.”

“Good, because you feel unbelievable,” he said, shaking his head a little, and blowing out a long sigh. He moved slowly out and back in me again, clearly trying to exercise restraint, controlling his movement so as not to push into me too fast. But after a few good strokes, I found myself wanting more, craving more, and I began to rut back against his cock.

I could feel pleasure beginning to coil deep within me as he laid into me with sure strokes, picking up his pace as he realized I could take his cock. He hitched up my hips a little further, bringing them higher into the air, and when he plunged into me again, his cock rode right up against my prostate.

A deep wave of sensation rolled through me, radiating from deep inside me all the way to my cock. “Oh, that is so fucking good,” I uttered, reaching out and gripping Emmett’s arm. I knew that if he kept hitting me right in that spot, I might even be able to come without touching my cock, and just the thought of it sent a thrill through my entire body.

He kept a steady pace, though, like he was watching me, knowing when I got too close to the edge and holding back right at those moments.

He wanted this to last just as much as I did, and I fucking loved that.

“Kiss me,” I said, gazing up at him with heavy-lidded eyes. I needed him so much, needed to taste his lips while he moved inside me. He obliged, bending down toward me, my legs wrapped around him as he pressed his mouth to mine. I opened for him, our tongues sliding against one another hot and wet, as he fucked me below. The position was not as deep as when he was sitting upright, but being able to kiss him was well worth the trade-off.

A few moments later, he slowed down his thrusts considerably, pulling off my mouth, breathing heavy.

“Oh God, I just got so close,” he whispered, nuzzling against my neck, biting me gently at my shoulder. “Need to go a little slow or I’m gonna come so quick, Ryan.”

“You know I want you to, though, right?” I whispered, fisting my fingers into his hair and gently pulling.

He groaned, pressing as deep inside me as he could, and just holding it there. I knew he was in that agonizing moment of almost-coming, and I roiled with how much power I had over him at that moment.

“I want you to,” I repeated softly, running my hands down his back, flanking his spine, until I reached down and gripped his ass. He thrust again inside me, almost as if it were involuntary. “I want to feel you pulse inside me, want you to totally let go, want you to know that I’m all yours.”

“Oh fuck, Ryan,” he cried out, sitting back up and thrusting deep as he could inside me. “You’re mine,” he said, his face totally wrecked. As he fucked me, he reached down, finally wrapping his fist around my neglected cock, pumping me inside and out at the same time.

“I’m yours, Emmett,” I said back. “I’m completely yours.”

He moaned loud, and I squeezed tight against him as I felt him coming inside of me, losing control as he swore over and over, repeating my name. He was so beautiful, completely coming undone, and as he came his grip tightened around my cock.

I no longer had to hold back. Not with Emmett—not ever again.

I let my own orgasm roll through me, a searing wave of pleasure that Emmett gave me, stroking hard and fast against my cock as I came, painting white against my stomach and chest. I forced myself to keep my eyes open, to watch him, my Emmett, as we gave ourselves completely to each other.

And I knew he had meant everything he’d said earlier tonight. I knew that he cared about me and was willing to try for me, just as I was with him.

His lips fell to mine, kissing me again, on my lips and then on my shoulder.

A minute later he idly reached out, grabbing his shirt and using it to swipe off my stomach, cleaning me. He neatly discarded the condom in my bedside trash and then collapsed back onto the bed next to me, still breathing heavy. He reached out to me, scooting closer, cuddling up against the side of my body.

I wrapped my arm around him, holding him so close.

“Mine,” he repeated, squeezing against me. He sounded sleepy, satisfied, and dazed—but still completely here, with me, no hesitation at all in his voice.

And still saying that I was his.

I squeezed him even tighter. “Absolutely,” I said against his hair, pressing a kiss against him.

We both began to doze off, there in the pale light of my room, wrapped up in each other’s warmth.

And as I fell asleep, only one thing ran through my mind: I never wanted to fall asleep without him by my side again.