In my dreams, I sat on the cliffs over the edge of the lava ocean. Charon zipped back and forth, doing tricks or drinking beer behind his pilotless boat.

I was crying, but I didn’t turn my head to see my mother and father behind me. I just stared out over the ocean of fire. Well, that was a shitty part to remember. It would have been nice to see—

My mother’s face suddenly hovered before me, crying and sobbing uncontrollably as she nodded her head at me. Then my father’s face, complete with tear tracks, and his face appeared desperate.

Then, nothingness.

I slowly woke again, this time holding myself with both arms wrapped tightly around my chest. I was curled in a ball and I could see my breath. Was it a change of season or was this some new form of torture? I pondered my dream. Memories. Whatever. Some form of torture?

I had at first hoped that it was Grimm or Hugin or Munin flying down through Hell to save me. But I had been here too long for that to be likely. I’d even considered it being Alex, since Pandora had been so adamant about me needing his help one day. And he was taller than me. Since the dreams always felt like they were aerial, it made sense.

But none of them could make it into Hell. Not without Death’s help. And that would take time. It had taken him months to arrange for my trip here. Had it been months, topside? I waved away that thought. Unlikely. Even if Death did help them in, none of them could survive the long way down here. I knew that now, being the new guide and all. There was literally zero chance any of my friends, even a swarm of them, could make it past all the Circles of Hell.

To put it bluntly, I wasn’t even sure if the Four Horsemen and I, at full strength, could have fought our way down here. Because I realized where I was now. I was in one of the deepest pits that existed in the Underworld. Not as punishment – my pit was actually quite pleasant, even compared to some of the Nirvanas down here. Well, that was pushing it, but it wasn’t a lake of fire or anything.

I was near Anubis’ pyramid. Really, it was just a palace shaped like a pyramid, but it was the simplest way to put it. Basically, I was in his personal prisons. Not for a crime, but so that he could keep an eye on me.

Not that he had visited, the bastard, or he would have realized I was close to boredom-induced insanity by now. I wondered if he cared.

The only other option for my friends to come down here was to acquire a guide – me.

I would have been called to… well, guide them.

I realized I was laughing at the ridiculousness of it. Called out of my cell to guide one of my friends down to Hell to save me – their guide – from my cell. Which would culminate in Anubis ripping out my heart and handing it over to them to eat and take my place.

Worst rescue mission ever.

Which meant the dreams were probably just memories. Or something to do with the map. Or it was a form of torture unique to Hell. Or I was hallucinating from not eating or drinking anything in quite some time. Regardless, it wasn’t helpful.

I sat up with a sigh, looking to my left out of habit, again checking to make sure I was alone. Not that it really mattered. I could have been murdered twenty times in my sleep, only to wake up again alive and well a few minutes later.

In case you’re wondering, I was still alone.

Then I turned the other direction, yawning. My yawn turned into an awkward shout as I saw a cloud of tightly condensed mist not two inches away from my nose. I scrambled back instinctively, trying not to breathe any of it in, just in case it was a being of some kind. Accidental possession, or something. The cloud zipped back a few feet, quivering as if just as agitated as me. I didn’t sense any malevolence to it, not like that dark cloud from the other cell, but it was still enough to scare the shit out of me.

“Wh-who the hell are you?” I finally gasped, realizing that it wasn’t intending to apologize. “Don’t you know to never creep up on a ninja when he’s sleeping?” I panted, trying to regain my breathing. As I looked closer, I realized it wasn’t entirely opaque. Faint green light shone through almost a silvery sheen, but maybe that was just a result of the glow-sticks not far away.

“Dad?” it said in a soft, frightened tone.

My heart stopped.