The boy sitting on the chair at her bedside looked so much older than the one she’d seen just days earlier. He had a mark across his cheek; a cut that Keeley had made when he’d refused to do as she instructed. Alex gave him a smile. In spite of all the evil they’d encountered, he was a reminder that there was still plenty of good in the world.

Faadi shifted uncomfortably, still unable to meet her eye. It was obvious he blamed himself for Alex’s appearance, and she knew that no matter how many times she tried to reassure him that he was not at fault, he would take home the burden of responsibility with him. And where was home now? she wondered. Mahira Hassan was refusing to return to the family home, and she and Faadi were currently relying on the kindness of old friends.

She glanced through the window, where Mahira was waiting in the corridor. Like Faadi, it had been obvious she hadn’t wanted to look directly at Alex’s burns for longer than she had to.

‘Have you seen Rebecca?’

At the mention of the girl’s name, Faadi’s face flushed. The events of the previous few days might have forced him to grow up, but he was still the awkward, innocent boy beneath it all. ‘Yes.’

‘How’s she doing? She okay?’

Faadi nodded. ‘She’ll be okay.’ He looked to the door. ‘I’d better go.’ When he turned back to her, he still couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact. Instead, he scanned the floor nervously, not knowing what to do with his hands. ‘Thank you. I’m sorry.’

‘Thank you for the chocolates, Faadi. And stop saying sorry. Nothing is your fault.’

He gave her a sad smile and left the room, Alex watching as he pulled the door shut gently behind him. She slid from the side of the bed and went to the window, making sure not to glance at the mirror as she passed. She still hadn’t been able to look at herself. It was bad, she knew it was; much worse than anyone was letting on. Everyone from the doctors to the nurses had told her it could have been so much worse, and Alex knew they were right. The majority of petrol Keeley had thrown at her had missed, splashing instead across the stone floor of the church. And had Chloe not been there – had she not pushed her to the ground and smothered the rapidly spreading flames so quickly – things could have been very different.

But she wasn’t ready to look at herself, not just yet.

She still had dressings on her right arm, the side of her face and her neck. She had been told not to move them, but she had pushed a finger beneath one that morning and traced her tip along the scarred flesh that ran in winding rivers across her jawline and down her neck. She didn’t need to see it to know she would never look the same again. Alex had never thought of herself as particularly vain – no more so than the next person – but the thought that she might be disfigured for life filled her with sadness. She forced herself to think of Gary Peters and Doris Adams, desperate to find some kind of perspective. It worked for a while, but the sadness always returned.

She had been at the hospital for two days now; two long days that had felt like weeks, with nothing but pain to interrupt the boredom. She wanted to be at the station. She had missed the interviews with Keeley and Tyler, but had been updated by Chloe on everything that had happened. As they’d suspected, every attack had been planned well in advance. Keeley and Tyler had followed Gary Peters over a number of evenings, finding out that he was using the hospital for shelter. It turned out that Doris Adams had recently been discharged from hospital and was still receiving home visits from nurses, one of whom had been Julie Morris. Tyler had taken her details from one of his grandmother’s files, finding out that Doris lived alone.

With her father and brother already infamous, Keeley had wanted notoriety for herself. She had bought a ticket for a flight to Spain with birthday and Christmas money she had saved, intending to disappear and start a new life, leaving her crimes and her family history behind her. She had naively believed that she would be able to run away from everything she’d done, and Tyler had naively believed her when she had told him he was booked on the flight to go with her.

Alex shuddered at the thought of what might have happened to Rebecca Mason had she and Chloe not arrived when they did. She was lucky to have had Faadi there, but he alone wouldn’t have been enough to stop what Tyler and Keeley had been planning.

Alex returned to the bed and stared at the television, trying to distract herself from thoughts of what might have been. She hadn’t been watching the TV when Faadi and his mother had arrived, and it was still muted – but with it switched on, she was unable to catch a glimpse of her reflection in the screen.

There was a knock at the door and a nurse entered. ‘Stephanie Mason is here to see you. Am I okay to send her in?’

Alex wanted more than anything to say no, but she knew there would be only so long she could avoid meeting with her. ‘Yeah, of course.’

A moment later, Dan’s wife was standing in the doorway. It had been raining and her windswept dark hair was clinging to the sides of her face. Alex had met her once before, just briefly months earlier, when Stephanie had picked Dan up from the station one day. She could never have imagined that the next time they would see each other would be under these circumstances.

Stephanie tried to hide her shock at Alex’s appearance, but Alex didn’t miss the widened eyes and the involuntary intake of air. She didn’t know whether to be hurt or grateful for the honest reaction. For the past two days she’d had people tiptoeing around her, whispering outside the door of her room as though she couldn’t hear what was being said just feet away from her. A part of her wanted someone to just be honest, yet now it had happened, she already wished the reaction could be taken back.

Stephanie came into the room and closed the door behind her. ‘I am so sorry. I don’t know how to thank you.’

Her gratitude stung. Alex couldn’t shake the thought of Dan in her kitchen, her body pressed against his. Blaming him would have been the easy option, but it would have been a lie. If Dan hadn’t stopped things, Alex might have allowed them to go much further.

‘Please don’t be nice to me. How’s Rebecca doing?’

Stephanie lingered by the doorway, not knowing where to look. She fumbled with her bag for a moment before finding somewhere to put it down, using it as an excuse to avoid making eye contact with Alex. ‘She’ll be okay. She can’t sleep, but that’s hardly surprising. When I think about what could have happened to her …’

She bit her lip. Her face had flushed.

‘I didn’t mean …’ She stopped mid-sentence, unsure how to backtrack. What had been intended for her daughter had been redirected at Alex, but Alex wouldn’t have had it any other way. Rebecca hadn’t deserved any of this. She was just a child.

So was Keeley, she thought. So was Tyler. The thought was still sickening, and would remain so.

She opened her mouth to speak, but didn’t know what to say.

‘Dan’s told me.’

She looked up and met Stephanie’s eye for the first time. There were tears, but she was holding them back with a stoic determination.

Alex looked away and closed her eyes. ‘I’m so sorry.’

Stephanie shook her head, not wanting to hear the apology. Alex realised it was meaningless; the damage was already done. It could have been worse, but that seemed little consolation.

‘I was going to come and see you yesterday, but then he told me and—’

‘It was my fault,’ Alex said hurriedly. ‘And it was just a kiss, I swear to you. I wasn’t thinking straight. It was completely selfish.’

‘He’s got a mind of his own. He makes his own decisions.’ Stephanie crossed the room and went to the window, placing her hands on the sill and turning her back to Alex. ‘You know, if all this hadn’t happened, I’d have probably been down that station playing holy hell with you. Strange how a few hours can change everything, isn’t it?’

‘You still have every right to.’

‘You saved my daughter’s life. A kiss hardly seems important now, if you’re sure that’s all it was.’

Alex nodded but said nothing. She knew the good deed couldn’t cancel out the mistake that had been made.

A moment later, she heard the door of her room close as Stephanie went out into the corridor, leaving her alone with the heavy burden of her own thoughts. She wondered where she went from here, and whether things would ever return to normal. Normal, she thought. It sounded so boring and yet so appealing, so alien to her.