I tossed pillows, a blanket, and a flat sheet on Ben’s lap, not meeting his eyes. “Here you go. You can just leave them out here. I’ll wash them when I do my own sheets.”

He took them, setting them aside. “You don’t have to wash my sheets. I can do them myself.”

“My sheets. My laundry. My house.” I glanced at his carry-on suitcase, which he’d placed in the corner of the living room. “What’s in there?”

“Towels, a couple of sets of clothes, underwear, socks.” He turned back to me. “Why? Is that a problem?”

I hugged myself, emotionally drained from everything that had gone on today. Captain had held a meeting with the people assigned to my case, telling only a select few the details of my life and about the man trying to kill me. He’d told them all to keep the details of my case to themselves, and to tell no one…which meant by now, everyone in the precinct knew the whole story.

Couldn’t wait for work tomorrow.

The truth would come out about who believed me, and who would hate on me for turning on another cop. “No. It’s not a problem. Feel free to hang your stuff in the closet over there so it doesn’t wrinkle.” I tipped my head toward the coat closet. “Washer’s at the end of the hall to the left, and so is the guest bathroom…which you already know. There’s a shower in there that you can have to yourself. The other bedroom is my mother’s, which is the last door on the right. Don’t go in there. She’s sleeping and if you wake her up, you’ll confuse and upset her.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

“If you’re hungry, you know where the kitchen is. Help yourself to whatever you want. If you empty something, please add it to the list so I can get it when I go shopping.”

“When we go shopping.”

I paused, confused. “Excuse me?”

“If you go shopping, I go, too. You’re not going alone. Captain was very clear I’m to be by your side at all times.”

I crossed my arms again, anger at this whole situation taking over my life again. Good. It was better than the fear and helplessness that had been nagging me like a long-lost friend I’d hoped to never see again. “Oh. Right. Should I bring you in the ladies’ room with me, and the shower, too, to make sure I’m safe in there while I’m washing my hair?”

His lips twitched at the last part. “Well, actually—”

“Oh, shut up,” I snapped.

He held his hands up, smiling fully now as he approached me. “You kind of asked for that sort of reply, given the circumstances.”

“Just like I asked for you to be here, with me, the night after we had sex and decided it would never happen again?” I tipped my head back so I could stare him down despite the height difference. “Yeah, that sounds like an excellent idea to me.”

He flexed his jaw. “I told you I could be the one outside.”

“Are you that scared to be close to me?” I taunted, unable to help myself.

After all, he’d frigging slept outside my house without telling me to avoid me. That wasn’t exactly the best for my self-esteem, thank you very much.

“I’m not scared of you,” he mumbled gruffly.

“Are you sure?” I poked at his chest. “I mean, you wouldn’t want to catch my complications. They’re contagious—oh, wait. Too late. I touched you. You caught them, and look at you now. Stuck here with the girl you just had a one-night stand with.”

“Stop it,” he snapped, catching my finger.

“Why? Don’t like it?” I asked innocently.

“No, I don’t fucking like it. I shouldn’t have said what I said, how I said it, but I slept outside because I didn’t want to put you in the position of being stuck with a partner you didn’t want, who you’d slept with, and I didn’t want to put you at risk for losing your job.” He pulled me close. “Those are the complications I meant, not your ex, and protecting you. I’d do that even if we never fucked. I’d do that for a stranger. It’s my job to keep people safe, Sarah.”

I knew that, just like I knew he’d lay his life down for someone he didn’t know, without hesitation. It’s part of what made him such a great guy. And now here he was, stuck with me, unable to go home, and there was nothing we could do to change it because I’d opened my big fat mouth and told the truth about Vinnie…again.

Sometimes, late at night, I wondered if this was all my fault. If I’d invited Vinnie to take advantage of me somehow, and if I could have avoided it if I’d just kept my mouth shut, which was ridiculous. I wasn’t at fault, Vinnie was. He was a sick man who needed help, and I couldn’t be the one to give it to him. I knew all this. But late at night, alone in my bed, my mind went there.

It always went there.

“I know it sucks, and I know you’re scared, just like I know you’re not really angry at me, but more at the world for making this happen to you,” Ben said, his tone softening as he loosened his grip on me and pulled me into his arms for a hug. “But please know that being here is not a complication for me. You’re not a complication. I am here for you, for whatever you need. Always have been. Always will be. That’ll never change, no matter how much you take your anger at the world out on me. If you need me to be your punching bag, I’ll be your punching bag. If you need me to be your enemy, I’ll be that. If you need me to be your friend, I already am. Just ask, and whatever you require is yours. You know that.”

He was right. I did.

And just like that, the emotions I’d managed to hold back came flooding to the surface. They broke me, and I curled my face into his chest, clinging to him. I didn’t cry, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t mourn all the things that should have been, and all the things that I could have avoided if I’d stayed and fought all those years ago, instead of fleeing.

After all, if I’d done that, if I’d just talked to him instead of leaving like I had, I never would have gone to Duke, and I never would have met Vinnie, and I never would have gone through hell like that.

This was my punishment for breaking his heart.I deserved to be miserable and alone, unable to be with the man that I loved, because I was a horrible person. Part of me was sure this was my penance, that I’d suffer for the rest of my life because I’d jumped to assumptions, and left instead of giving the man who’d always given me everything I asked for a chance to explain himself. I should have given him a chance to explain himself.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered into his shirt. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Sh.” He cradled the back of my head, smoothing my hair and hugging me close. “I know, babe. I know. Me too.”

And then he said nothing else. Just held me.

I looked up at him, and he hesitated before lowering his lips to mine and kissing me. It was undemanding, no strings attached. Just a simple, sweet kiss. When he pulled back, he wiped my tears off my cheeks, pressed my face against his chest again, and held me.

It was perfect…

Just like him.