***
“Mom!” I shouted, hurrying to her bedside and taking her hand. She had the leads from a heart monitor on, tangling her up in a bed like the arms of an octopus, and an oxygen tube dangling from her nose. Her skin was pale and thin as paper, but she was alive and she was still here. It was a start. “Oh, God, are you okay?”
Dad stood up and kissed me on the temple. “Baby, we’ve missed you. I didn’t know you were coming back.”
“I tried to get back as fast as I could. I tried to call from the plane but it didn’t have reception. I’m so sorry. Then I was calling at LAX but the cell signal in here sucks. I just… I’m so sorry I wasn’t here.”
Mom shook her head, as best as she could manage with all the tubes on. “Baby, you didn’t do anything, and you’re here now.”
I nodded and sat down at her side. “I just should have been here anyway.”
Mom looked back to my dad and smiled. “Honey, can you see if they have any more of the apple juice I like? I want to catch up with Belle privately. Is that okay?”
“Of course, darling,” he said, kissing her cheek.
It was a gesture so gentle that it almost broke my heart. My parents lived for each other, always had. I thought for a moment I could have had that with Drake, but that was gone now. Dad paused just a moment longer to give her shoulder a squeeze before walking out the door.
Mom turned to me then and sighed. “Sweet girl, what am I going to do with you?”
“I don’t know what you mean? I just got back from doing business for over three weeks. My head is full of figures and I’m beat, but there’s nothing more exciting going on. Wait… did Carol say there was?”
My mom chuckled. “Baby, I can see everything written on your face. I was worried when you went off with Drake McManus. I might have been sick these last few years, but I have the news and I know his reputation. I was scared about what you were even thinking of doing for me because I would never ask that.”
“Mom, we didn’t…”
“But I can see how sad you are right now. You’re trying hard and maybe your father is too out of it to see it, but he’s always been a little obtuse with certain things. I can see you now, and something happened. Did he hurt you?”
I shook my head and curled up in the chair, drawing my knees into my chest like I was a little girl all over again. “Mom, I think I made a huge mistake. We weren’t supposed to fall in love, and maybe we didn’t, but we were so close. Then I did things and said awful stuff to him. If he never calls me again, I can hardly blame him.”
“Sweetie.”
“Mom, I shouldn’t have even been gone. You needed me. For three years, I’ve been here because you needed me. Then you have one of the biggest health scares of your life, and I’m off playing in the Bahamas, well, a lot more than I should be. I swear I did business.”
Mom squeezed my hand tightly. “But you had fun. I haven’t seen you smile in so long, but if you went off with him and really enjoyed your life, then that means something, too. Sweetie, I am going to beat this, but you’ve put your life on hold for me for too long. It’s not fair to you, and I’d never want you to do that. You have to understand.”
“The only thing I understand is that you all need me, and I promise never to leave again. Besides, you weren’t there. I said horrible things… did horrible things. He’s never going to forgive me,” I said.
Then the tears seemed to fall their own accord.
Shaking, I put my head on my Mom’s shoulder and let her comfort me, barely noticing when Dad and Carol came back into the room.