Chapter Four
“RILEY!” CASEY HOLLERED down the hall to her son’s room. She didn’t know why she bothered. He probably had his headphones on with his nose buried in a book.
That was just as well. Dinner wouldn’t be ready for a few more minutes, and she could use this time to decompress. Sid’s heart attack had rattled her, sure, but seeing Jack was worse. She should have expected it, but he hadn’t visited Oak Grove since he’d left her behind. He’d spent the ensuing years in Boston where she didn’t have to see his ruggedly handsome face or smell the musky scent of the aftershave he still insisted on wearing.
But those were the only things that hadn’t changed about Jack. His shoulders and chest were broader. He clearly worked out, even more than the hours he used to spend in the weight room in high school. And his suit? Casey hadn’t seen clothes like that in Oak Grove, since maybe ever. There was no way they weren’t custom made, with his initials embroidered on the shirt cuffs. He was nothing like the jeans-clad boy she’d fallen in love with.
He’d changed so much while Casey had stayed the same. Well, except for one major thing.
What would he think about the life she built here for herself? Of her son? Did he know she had a child? She’d asked Sid and Jackie not to tell him, but she didn’t know for sure if they’d kept her secret. Not that Riley was a secret. She’d just wanted to avoid the inevitable conversation with Jack. It wasn’t his business.
She thought back to those days after they’d lost their son. The baby they never got to meet. She and Jack had planned to get married and raise their family together. Then after Travis died, Jack left town. He’d asked her to go, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t leave the only real home she’d ever known, where she had been so happy with Jack, and where her son was buried in the little graveyard behind the church. But Jack had no problem leaving the memories, and her, behind.
Did he think about their baby at all? Ever? Travis’s loss had haunted her, driven her into a depression. Only after Riley was born had she been able to redirect her loss into love for him. Love for the baby she held, happy and healthy, in her arms.
A few minutes later, she knocked on Riley’s door and nudged it open. As expected, Riley was sprawled on his bed, feet swinging in the air, head bobbing to the music blasting through his headphones with a book spread wide in his hands. She stared for a minute. Her little boy was growing up. She often had to remind herself that he was eight years old. He was “an old soul,” Sid and Jackie had always said. While most kids his age had Legos scattered on the floor, Riley kept his neat and tidy, with his models lined up on the dresser and his clothes tucked away in his dresser and closet.
She crossed the room and tapped her son on the shoulder. His head snapped around and a wide grin spread across his face. He ripped the headphones off. “Sorry, Mom. I didn’t hear you.”
God, she loved this boy. She ruffled his hair. “Dinner’s ready.”
“Yay!” Riley leapt from the bed and hustled down the hall. Casey followed behind at a much more sedate pace. She envied Riley’s energy. She’d been like that once. Now she had trouble remembering the girl who hadn’t had a care in the world other than when the cute boy in her class would smile at her and whether he would ask her out.
“Oh man, chicken parm and spaghetti. My favorite.” Riley helped her get dinner on the table and they both sat. Sure, it was only the two of them, but Casey relished this time she had with her son.
“So, what’s your high?” Casey asked her son as he shoved a bite of chicken in his mouth. They’d started this game years ago, talking about the best and worst of their days, when she’d had more trouble starting conversations with her son. He’d have been happy to sit and eat and read, but that wasn’t the kind of relationship she wanted.
“Mark Dawson asked me to play basketball in gym class. And he said there’s a spot on his team starting in January. Can I play? Please, Mom?” Riley practically vibrated with excitement.
Basketball team? How much did that cost? She made enough to take care of herself and Riley, but not a lot of extras. She would be putting in a lot of long hours leading up to Christmas, especially with Sid being out. She’d planned to tuck some of that extra money away, but how could she say no when Riley smiled at her with hope filling his eyes? “We can probably do that. Let me look into it and I’ll let you know.”
“Yes!” He fist-pumped and then shoved a bite of spaghetti in his mouth. “What about you? What’s your high for today?”
Casey never had a problem finding something positive to share with her son. She thanked God for him every day and refused to dwell on the depression that had driven her into another man’s arms nine years ago. How could it be anything other than wonderful when the result was this boy sitting across from her?
But today? How could Jack be both her high and low at the same time? He’d always been able to tie her in knots with just a glance. That was another thing that hadn’t changed about him. But she wasn’t ready to share Jack with her son. Or vice versa. “We had a bus load of seniors from the retirement community in Reading come in today. They brought a truck with them and everyone got trees to decorate their apartments. It was fun.”
There, that was something good. Casey enjoyed helping people pick out their Christmas tree, watching them as they imagined the perfect spot in their living room or in front of the fireplace. Besides, the tree lot was how she’d met Jack in the first place. Dang, why did everything always come back to Jack?
“I can picture it, a bunch of gray-haired grannies with their walkers, pointing their crooked finger at the trees.” Riley laughed at the picture he painted. But he couldn’t be further from the truth.
“More like gray-haired grannies in track suits and cross-trainers, waving their smart phones around.” She had worked hard to raise the profile of the tree farm and expand their customer base beyond the immediate area surrounding Oak Grove. Groups from nearby retirement homes was just one of those ideas that had grown their business. She was proud of her accomplishments since Sid put her in charge.
If the crowds kept up like they had been, she’d need to hire more seasonal help. Well, there was always Jack. What did he plan to do while he was in town? Would he stick his nose in or let Casey continue to run things her way? Sid had been happy to give her free reign a few years back so he could focus on what he loved—taking care of the trees.
She tousled Riley’s hair. “Okay, now low.”
“Grandpa Murphy is still in the hospital.”
Sid and Jackie had filled the grandparent role in Riley’s life ever since he was born. Casey’s miscarriage devastated them much as it had her and Jack, so they were happy to dote on her son. Riley loved his Murphy grandparents. They were the only grandparents he knew.
“I saw Grandpa Murphy today. He looked better.” She didn’t mention that she’d also seen Grandpa Murphy’s son.
“When can I go see him? Is he coming home soon?”
“The doctor hopes he’ll be released in a few more days. Maybe this weekend we can go see him. But you have to remember, he’s been sick. He won’t be able to go tromping through the woods with you like he normally does.” She was thankful every day that Sid had stepped in as a male role model for her son. It would help when Riley started asking things that she as his mother wasn’t equipped to answer.
“I know, Mom. You keep telling me.”
Casey dipped her head and grinned so she didn’t have to see the inevitable eye roll that accompanied her son’s words. If this was how dramatic he could be at eight, what would he be like as a teenager?
“And your low, Mom?”
Casey usually kept her lows to something benign. How could she tell her son that she had fainted at the sight of the only man she’d ever loved? And then had reamed him out for not coming home sooner? She’d barely processed that Jack was home. No way was she ready to confront the feelings he’d stirred up in her. “Grandpa for me, too, I guess. I had a pretty good day.”
There, she’d said it.
Her son tilted his head and quirked his eyebrow. “Okay, but I don’t believe you. You know you can tell me, right? I’m not a child.”
“You are a child. You’re eight.” She hated that he had been her emotional support at times. In some ways, he’d had to grow up too soon. In other ways, she’d tried to shelter him from the worst parts of life as long as possible. She wanted him to enjoy his childhood and not look back and wish for anything.
“Yeah, but it’s still Mom and Riley against the world.”
She smiled. She’d gotten lucky with Riley and she knew it. “Eat your dinner so you can finish your homework.”
Riley ate the last bite of spaghetti and swiped his napkin across his mouth before he’d even swallowed. “I finished my homework already. Can I go shoot hoops with Mark? He said he was going to after dinner.”
Casey glanced out the window. The darkness came earlier now that it was well into November. “Make sure you turn on your bike light. And come home in one hour. No later. Got it?”
Riley hopped up from the table and popped a kiss on her cheek. “Thanks, Mom.”
He was out the back door and pedaling furiously before she could say, “You’re welcome.”
Casey shouldn’t have let him go out this late, but Oak Grove was a safe town.
After clearing the dishes, she settled on the couch with her eReader and waited for Riley’s return from the playground. Hopefully, the distraction would keep her from running her encounter with Jack through her mind over and over.
She tried to immerse herself in the historical romance she’d started reading last week, but she couldn’t focus on the words on the page. Her mind replaced the hero with Jack’s face, and Jack’s broad shoulders, and Jack’s…She laid the book on the couch. That was enough of that.
She stared out the window where the sky had gone pitch black. She checked the time on her phone. Riley should have been home by now.
Before worry settled in, the clatter of his bike on the porch eased her nerves, but he’d have to deal with the consequences for missing curfew.
Riley swung open the door. Dirt streaked his cheek and blood dripped from a scratch on his arm. Her reprimand for him being late stuck in her throat as she rushed to his side. “What happened?”
Riley brushed his hands down his jeans. “It’s nothing, Mom. I wiped out on my bike in a ditch.”
Casey gasped. It was times like this when she wished she had someone to lean on. Someone to help carry the burden of anxiety that came with being a parent. “Well, I’ll just have to give that ditch a good talking to next time I’m there.”
She shuffled Riley down the hall into the bathroom and pulled out the first aid kit. Her hands shook but she couldn’t reveal how much it scared her to see her son hurt. The little voice in her head reminded her how much worse it could have been. What if he’d hit his head and passed out where no one could see him? She tried to steady her touch as she cleaned his scratches. “Did you have fun playing basketball?”
Riley waved his arms. “It was great. There were six boys there and we played three-on-three. I even made a basket.”
She grabbed his arm to keep it still and finished washing the cut, pressing a bandage to the clean skin and following it up with a kiss. “Sounds like fun. Next time you have an accident, call me and I’ll come get you. Okay, kiddo?”
“It was no big deal, Mom. Doesn’t even hurt. But I’m beat. I’m going to bed.” Riley hopped up and gave her a half-hug before scooting across the hall and closing the door. It never ceased to amaze her how grown up her little boy could be.
She sank to the floor and rested her head in her hands, willing her heart to slow after her anxiety surge when Riley had strolled through the door with blood running down his arm. Once her hands stopped shaking and she caught her breath, she dragged herself off the floor and down the hall to her bedroom. Between Riley’s accident and her first sighting of Jack in years, she doubted she’d sleep a wink.