Stuart

When I enter the house, I can tell at once something bad happened. Amy’s in the kitchen looking worried, and Mariska’s nowhere to be seen.

“What’s going on?” I ask, half-heartedly waiting for a response.

I’m headed to the hall leading to our room before my sister even has a chance to answer me. Pushing open the door to our room, I find Mariska’s lying on the bed, her back to the door. She appears to be sleeping.

I call her name softly, and I notice her shoulders stiffen. Going to her, I pull her arm back, forcing her to look at me. She’s not crying, but her eyes are haunted. My stomach tightens, and I feel my body preparing for a fight.

“Are you okay?” I reach for her hand, holding my voice steady. “Did something happen?”

She sits up and lunges forward into my arms, wrapping hers around my neck. “It was the nightmare again.”

We’re quiet for several long moments. I’m waiting for her to say something more, but she never does. I don’t know how to question her on this, since I’ve never really understood how it all works.

“You weren’t asleep.” I’m trying to think. “You had the nightmare when you were awake?”

“Amy wanted me to read her coffee grounds.” Her voice is small, and she’s still holding back, only giving me the barest of information in answer to my questions.

“You saw the nightmare in Amy’s grounds?”

Her head slowly moves back and forth. “I saw it in mine.”

Wrapping my arms around her, I pull her closer against my body. “Were you hurt? Did something happen to you?”

Again she shakes her head. “I don’t think I was hurt, but I was in a hospital.”

I’m about to lose it with having to pull this information out of her bit by bit. Either way it doesn’t matter. Taking hold of her shoulders, I move her back from me. “Look at me. Look in my eyes.”

Her eyes blink rapidly, but she finally moves them to mine. Still, I don’t see tears, only fear.

“Nothing is going to happen to you,” I say firmly. “Nothing. You’re safe on my watch.”

Her expression doesn’t change, but at least she nods. I don’t know how to make her believe me, but I say the words with all the conviction I feel. I defy these dreams trying to hurt my Mariska. Pulling her against my chest again, I smooth my hand up and down her back. “You’re safe with me.”

She eventually relaxes, and I leave her resting on the bed. It’s still drizzling outside, and Bill has returned from town. When he sees me, he walks over, motioning for me to join him at the fireplace.

“I’ve got some business to work out with Evan and Conway tomorrow morning. Think you could ride into town with me?”

Mariska is on my mind, but I nod. She’ll feel better tomorrow. She’s safe here at the house with Mom and Amy, and either way, I won’t be far. “What’s the business?”

“Finalizing those grazing fees and percentage of land use.” He props a boot on the hearth. “I know we’ve pushed back our personal timeline, but it’s good for you to be there. Let them start getting used to hearing your voice.”

Looking into the dark space in front of us, I think of something we haven’t discussed yet. “If we had gone through with the deal, were you thinking of staying on here?”

“Only as long as you needed me.” A twinkle is in his eye. “After that, I figured I might see if any places were available in Chicago.”

I lift my chin then and study his face. Sylvia lives in Chicago. It’s the closest we’ve ever come to him admitting his interest in her. Now I feel almost sorry our plans have changed. Those guys don’t have forever.

“We can talk more in the spring,” is as much as I’ll commit.

He nods and straightens, sliding his thumbs along his waistband. “Let’s head out in the morning around ten.”

“I’ll be there.”

Mariska is in better spirits by dinner. She emerges from the back in a short dress that ties at her neck, revealing her smooth, tanned shoulders. Her eyes are bright, and she seems calmer.

Amy goes straight to her and clasps both her hands, and for a moment I study the differences in her and my little sister. Mariska is free flowing like one of those yellow wildflowers scattered all over the hills in the spring. Amy is structured like a rose cultured in a greenhouse, a controlled environment. Still they manage to be close.

“I’m sorry I made you feel bad,” Amy says, hugging her.

“It’s not your fault,” Mariska hugs her in return. “I think I was just tired. I started to fall asleep or something. I don’t know what it was.”

“We never have to do it again—” My little sister shakes her head, but Mariska won’t let her finish.

“It’s no big deal. We can do it again.” Then her eyes drift to the kitchen. “Just not with that coffee press.”

Amy laughs, and I’m glad to see Mariska is able to joke. The rest of dinner is relaxed, if a little quiet. We pass around platters of dark roast and garlic-sweet potatoes while Amy catches my mother up on the latest Chicago gossip.

Occasionally I glance over at Mariska, and she’s quiet, her thoughts seeming to be far away. I don’t like it, especially after our feisty start this morning.

Strolling back to our room a while later, I stop her in the hall, pressing her back against the wall and leaning down for a kiss. Her lips yield and open to me, and her tongue curls around mine. Still, it’s off somehow.

“Do you feel bad?” I ask quietly, studying her eyes in the dim light.

“I guess my head hurts a little.”

It sounds more like an excuse than a fact from the way her eyes slide away from mine. Catching her chin, I make her look at me.

“It’s okay to be tired. Your body is working hard. I understand that.”

Instead of answering, she steps forward, into my chest, pushing her arms around my waist. I only hesitate a moment, puzzled. Then I feel a little shiver move through her, and I wrap my arms around her.

She holds me tighter, and I tighten my embrace in response, ready to share my strength with her. Fierce protectiveness rises hot in my chest, and I kiss the top of her head. “I’ve got you, babe.”

---

Mariska

The rain has stopped when I open my eyes the next morning. I passed a thankfully dreamless night, and the vision from yesterday feels farther away than before. Still, my heart beats faster at the memory—made even more horrifying because I don’t understand it. The ratted hair, my empty eyes, the restraints…

A shudder moves across my shoulders, and I roll onto my stomach pushing my face into the pillow. A large hand slides over my bare shoulder, and the warmth of Stuart’s body is at my back. I exhale a little sigh, melting into him.

“You’re here,” I sigh.

“You were very clear about not waking up alone.” His lips move to the back of my neck, rising higher into my hair, and this time I shudder for a different reason. I feel his erection at my back, and heat unfurls low in my pelvis. My bottom lip goes under my teeth and I bite down.

“I hate a cold mattress where you’re supposed to be.”

Soft kisses followed by the scruff of his beard trace a line down my neck to my shoulders, and I moan again, arching my back up to meet him. With his knee he moves my thighs apart, guiding the head of his cock right to my entrance and sliding in with a forceful thrust.

“Oh, yes!” My head pops up, and I gasp. “Stuart!”

I’m on my stomach, and he’s behind me, rocking harder, one arm gripping the headboard and the other holding his weight off my body. I press both palms against the mattress to meet him from behind.

We’re moving together in a rhythm all our own, and as the fire grows hotter in my core, I groan, trying to move faster, send him into me harder. My orgasm is teasing and close, and I can hardly bear the sweet torture.

“Come for me, baby,” he groans in my ear, and I hear the break in his voice.

Moving his face to my neck, he kisses me roughly behind my ear and down the back of my shoulders. My thighs quiver, and I fall over the edge.

“Oh, god! Oh!” I’m shuddering and gripping, trying to find a way to keep this going and not explode at the same time. Moving my head to the side, I kiss his forearm, slipping out my tongue to taste his heated skin. Salt is on my tongue, and I’m breathing fast.

He’s behind me, pulsing, rocking slower, his pelvis cupping my ass with each heavy thrust. Gradually he slows, going with me to the end. Until with a deep sigh, he drops beside me on the bed, tracing the palm of his hand down my back.

“Better?” His deep voice causes my eyes to flutter open.

I turn my head to the side and smile up at him. “Yes.”

He chuckles, “I almost went to the barn this morning, but I have to be in town with Bill.” My brow lowers, and I pretend frown, which only makes him laugh more. “I’m just saying. It’s not exactly punishment to have you show up pissed and not wearing panties demanding I fuck you senseless.”

Pushing against the bed, I prop on my elbows. Looking at my hands, my hair falls in a wavy chestnut curtain between us. “I guess my hormones are kind of all over the place these days.”

He lifts my hair back and catches my eye. “No complaints here.” He leans forward and kisses my arm before getting up and out of the bed. “Now I’d better shower. I don’t want to be late.”

Watching his ass tighten and flex as he walks away, I can’t resist. “Hot damn! Can I get a fry with that shake?”

He stops, and looks back at me, eyes flashing. My eyebrows shoot up, and I cover my mouth quickly with my hands, trying not to laugh. Just as fast, he dashes back to the bed, catching my ankle and pulling me across the sheets to him as I scream. I’m in his arms, looking right in his eyes. Our chests are touching, and he’s smiling as big as I am.

“I love you,” he says, and my insides melt. I cup his cheeks in both my hands and lean up to kiss him hard.

He leans down, lips chasing mine, and by the time we’re done my mouth, cheeks and neck are scuffed and red from his beard.

His arms loosen, and he steps back. “Now I have to shower and hit the road.”

Nodding, I smile as he takes a few steps back and turns to head into the bathroom. “I love you, too.” I say softly, watching him go.

Amy is waiting at the table when I enter the kitchen. “It’s my last day,” she says with a pout. “Grab a little quiche and let’s do something memorable.”

“Okay!” I step over to the stove where a plate holding three small quiches sits and grab one with the tips of my fingers, sliding it onto a saucer. “I wish you were staying longer.”

Going to the table, I sit, pulling my knee to my chest.

“Me too,” she sighs. “But you can come to Chicago and hang out with me before the baby gets too big. And I’ll visit you in Princeton.”

I smile, as the cheesy goodness of the quiche fills my mouth. The spinach and mushrooms give it a satisfying, savory flavor. “This is so delicious,” I say, holding my hand over my mouth.

“Oh my god, I’m sitting here absolutely struggling against the urge to eat every last one!”

I snort a laugh, and Amy’s eyebrows shoot up. It only makes me laugh more, and she explodes in laughter too.

“Come on,” she stands, reaching for my hand.

I shove the last bite of quiche into my mouth and use the paper napkin I grabbed to wipe my fingertips and mouth.

“Where are we headed?”

“I was thinking we could saddle up a few horses and ride around the place.”

I follow her out the door, nodding and clearing my mouth. “Stuart doesn’t like me to lift the saddles anymore. He says they’re too heavy.” Tossing her pale blonde hair, she narrows her eyes. “I know!” I say, shaking my head. “It’s ridiculous.”

“Still, I don’t want him pissed at me. I’ll put your saddle on for you.” Her tone is exasperated, and I almost feel guilty.

We enter the barn, and four heads appear over stall doors, looking at us curiously. “Oh!” I skip ahead to Jessie’s stall. “Come see my horse!”

“How did you get a horse?” Amy runs up beside me, and I see Jessie scamper to the back of her stall nervously.

“Take it easy,” I say, touching her arm. “She’s still learning we’re friends.”

Amy leans beside me on the door looking inside. “She’s beautiful.”

“I think so, too,” I lean my head on my hand watching my pretty little horse look back at us with cautious interest.

“Is she a wedding present or something?”

“Well, okay, she’s not technically mine. I just say she is because I love her.”

“The white on her forehead reminds me of the moon.”

“Me too!” We’re speaking quietly, and Jessie seems to relax. Her head lowers, and she takes a bite of hay.

“Well,” Amy pushes back. “If I’m the only one doing any lifting, I’d better get started.”

“I can do the bridles!” I call after her, still watching Jessie. I’m itching to pet her nose the way Stuart let me. She seems so content and happy.

Lifting the latch on the door, I open it slowly and wait a second to gauge her response. She blows air loudly through her nose, but she doesn’t seem disturbed by my presence.

“Remember me, pretty girl?” I say softly. “I’m the crazy lady who named you.”

She continues munching whatever’s in her box, and I think about what Stuart said, Don’t be afraid. Be the boss.

Adopting a confident posture, I go to where she’s standing. I confess, I’m a little squirmy inside. I don’t want to frighten her, and I especially don’t want Stuart getting angry with me for setting her back.

I make the clucking sound with my mouth, and she lifts her head. I want her to come to me like she does Stuart. I want her to put her nose on my chest and let me scrub her neck and hug her.

“That’s a sweet girl,” I say gently moving closer.

She isn’t afraid. She doesn’t lay her ears back or toss her head. She’s not blowing air through her nose, and her hooves are firmly planted on the ground. My insides are buzzing with excitement. It’s working!

“You’re so smart!” I say softly, reaching out for her nose. “I love you, you know that? You’re my little horse.”

In the background, I notice Amy speaking from the stall beside us. “I’ve always loved Freckles. She’s like this mystical grey ghost-horse.”

Thoughts flicker across my mind, Amy is in Freckles’s stall. Freckles spooks easily. It’s only a passing thing because I’m touching Jessie’s black velvet nose now. Her big brown eyes are looking at me with interest and not fear. Joy floods my chest, and I want to hug her. But in that moment, it all comes crashing down.

“OH GOD! NO!!!” Amy’s scream breaks the magic. “RON!!! A SNAKE!”

Jessie’s eyes go wide with terror, and her head jerks back as she lets out a shrill whinny. Her little feet begin dancing fast, and all at once, I realize how small the stall we’re in is. I reach out to grab the wall, but it’s too late. Her front hooves leave the ground, and she starts to kick.

“Oh!” I gasp as pain explodes through my shoulder. Her small hoof strikes my upper arm with the force of an axe. I’m sure it’s broken. “Oh, god!” I cry, shaking and turning my back to her.

Amy screams again, and Jessie’s eyes roll so far I can see the whites around the black. A shrill whinny, and she kicks at me again. Another blast of pain shoots through my hip.

“No no no!” I say over and over. “Stop screaming!”

I think I’m saying these words, but I’m reaching for the door with my injured arm. The little horse jumps forward at me and then rises on her back legs. I can’t get the door open. I can’t lift my injured arm.

“Oh, god.” Hot tears spill down my cheeks as I drop to the floor, trying to cover my head and my stomach at the same time. A blow as hard as a bat hits me in the side. “Oof!” I gasp as I fall onto my injured hip.

“Ow!” I cry out in intense pain. I’m against the wall and another blow like a sledgehammer hits me right in the stomach.

“No!” I grunt, crying harder as the pain blasts through my insides. “Jessie, no…”

I can’t breathe. The wind is knocked out of me, and all I can hear are her high-pitched squeals, the stamping of her hooves, Amy shouting my name.

I try to pull myself to my feet. I have to get out of this stall, but another kick, and I fall back, hitting my head on the post. White light explodes behind my eyes. My grip on the wooden slats fails, and I go down on the damp hay with a hard thud.

On impact the scene changes…

A cool breeze blows over the tall grasses. I’m sitting in a white, lacy dress smiling and laughing as I watch a beautiful little girl dancing through the flowers. Her chestnut hair is long and hangs in curls down her back. I clap as she waves a garland of yellow daisies mixed with happy bluebells around us.

“You’re so pretty, precious!” I call to her, and she laughs skipping to me and hugging me, surrounding me with her sweet baby scent.

Her voice is a joyful, musical sound. Her chubby cheeks are the softest pink, and her bright eyes dance with a mixture of green and gold just like her daddy’s.

“Come and let mommy hold you,” I say, holding out my hand. I love her so much.

The beautiful little girl only shakes her head. She skips and twirls, and as she dances, I see the shimmer of angel’s wings appear around her shoulders. Fear sweeps over me at the sight of them.

“No!” I say, my voice breaking.

She’s so happy and pretty, I know I shouldn’t feel sad, but sorrow grips my chest so hard I can’t breathe.

“Don’t go, baby,” I beg.

The little girl only continues skipping and dancing as the delicate wings grow longer. They shudder in the breeze, and she rises, reaching up towards the clouds.

I roll onto my back in the long grass and squint into the bright sunlight watching her go, rising higher and higher, growing more faint with every beat of her wings.

“Come back,” I whisper, but it’s too late.

Tears flood my eyes. The white light burns them, and the tears stream down my face. I can’t move. I can only lie on my back and cry as I watch my baby girl fly away.