Mal’s feet were aching by the time he got back down to the Sea Bell, and he felt weary to the bone, even though his rucksack had been a lot lighter than on the way up.
He’d fucked things up good and proper with him and Jory. Like he’d known he would. One little shag . . . Yeah, right. Dick-brain. Dick. Brain.
He didn’t get it, though. Him and Dev had shagged loads of times and never stopped being friends. Why the hell couldn’t it work like that with Jory? Why couldn’t they just be mates who shagged?
Christ, he wanted Dev here. Not for a shag, cos they didn’t do that anymore since Dev had got together with Kyle, but as a mate. His best mate. Someone who could tell him why this thing with Jory was doing his head in so much.
All he knew was that he needed to stay away from Jory Roscarrock.
That was the only way not to fuck things up even more.
Tasha was behind the bar when he walked in to slump on a barstool. She took one glance at him and rolled her eyes. “What you done?”
“Oi, who says I done anything?”
“Your face. Better not go near any police lineups, cos you look guilty as hell.” She took a step nearer, and her nose wrinkled. “Oh my God, you didn’t?”
“Didn’t what?”
“You know.” She cast a glance around before leaning over the bar and lowering her voice. “Do the dirty. With him.”
“‘Do the dirty’? Since when do you call it that?”
She curled her lip. “Since Jago started fining me a pound every time I swear at work. And don’t change the subject. You did, didn’t you?”
Mal hung his head. “It just happened, all right? You know what it’s like.”
“Jesus, Mal, couldn’t you keep it in your kecks for once? What happened to ‘He’s me best mate’s uncle’?”
It sounded dead pervy when she said it like that. “What happened to ‘No skin off my arse’?”
Tasha glanced over at Jago, then leaned in close and lowered her voice. “Yeah, well, you got me thinking, dintcha? Like maybe it ain’t such a good idea after all. Dev’s like . . . He needs his family, you know? But he ain’t going to choose some uncle he’s never met over his best mate if it all goes tits up. And, babe, you got tits up all over your face.”
“Yeah, well. ’M gonna stay away from him from now on.”
“Bit late now, innit? For God’s sake, Mal—”
Mal pushed away from the bar and stood up. “Look, just leave it, all right? I fucked up. I know I fucked up. I’m one big fucking fuckup, for fuck’s sake.” He turned to walk out—and realised he was the centre of a big bubble of silence with everyone in the place staring at him.
There was a loud throat-clearing sound from Jago’s direction.
Mal sagged, sat down again, and pulled out his wallet. “How much?”
“Five pounds, by my reckoning,” Jago said calmly, and shoved a jar down the bar to him. It rattled on the way from the half-dozen pound coins already in there.
Mal folded up a fiver and bunged it in the jar without a word. Jago’s face softened. “Go on, Tasha, give the lad a pint on the house. He looks like he needs one.”
A few of the locals raised their glasses at Mal, then went on with their conversations as if nothing had happened.
Mal pillowed his head on his arms and closed his eyes.
Maybe if he wished really, really hard, the world would go away for a bit.
Mal was almost feeling like himself after a pint of Coke had washed away the bleariness from all that cider on the beach. What was it about drinking outdoors that always made alcohol taste so much better, and not seem to be making you drunk until suddenly you were, and it was too late?
That was when he noticed Tash kept darting worried glances at him.
She must have noticed him noticing. “Babe? You okay now?”
Mal forced a grin. “Course I am. Never better. ’Sup?”
She looked away. “I had a call from Dev while you were out.”
Unease knifed him in the gut. “Oi, what’s happened? He all right? Is it Kyle?”
“It’s okay. They’re fine— Well, Dev’s fine. Kyle had a problem with his meds, it was no big. They changed the brand on him and he had a reaction.”
“But he’s okay, yeah?”
“Yeah, but . . . they wanna make sure he’s fine on the new stuff before they come down, so it’s not gonna be Friday night now. Dev reckons maybe the middle of next week.”
It was like . . . like having some arseholes give you a kicking, and then getting shat on by a pigeon while you lay there bleeding. Like totalling your car in a crash, finding out your insurance had lapsed, and then getting a final demand from the finance company. Like he was a pumpkin that’d been hollowed out with one of them blunt plastic scraper things they sold around Halloween so the kiddies wouldn’t cut their fingers off making lanterns. Mal put his head in his hands.
And he knew he was being a wanker, and it wasn’t all about him. But . . . he’d been counting on Dev coming down. He fucking needed his best mate, all right?
“Babe?”
Mal scrubbed his face with his hands and forced a smile as he looked up. “I’m good. Bit disappointed, you know? And it sucks for Kyle,” he added guiltily.
“Yeah. Dev said he ain’t too bad, though. They’re just being safe. You want another Coke?”
“Nah. Cheers. Think I’ll go watch the telly for a bit.”
“Okay. See ya.”
“See ya.”
Mal had thought they’d finished talking about all the difficult stuff, but Tasha cornered him later as he walked out of the bathroom after his shower. “You weren’t the only one looking forward to seeing Dev, you know.”
Mal felt like a complete arsehole. He wrapped a mostly dry arm around her shoulders. “I know you’ve been missing him too. Come on, tell your uncle Mal all about it.”
She sniffed. “It’s Ceri, innit? Going away like that. Just when I thought we was . . .”
“I knew it! I fucking knew it. Hey, congrats, Tash. Welcome to the bi side, where love has twice as many chances to screw you over like a boss.”
Tasha managed a weak smile. “Do I get a membership card?”
“Better than that. Free invisibility cloak and a pack of unicorn stickers.” He squeezed her shoulders. “Does she know you like her?”
Tasha shrugged. “Dunno, do I? I never said nothing. But I thought it was gonna happen. Then she bloody well bogs off out of the country without me.”
“Maybe she needed a bit of space to think about it. I mean . . .” Mal wasn’t sure how to put it tactfully, so he just went for it. “Does she even fancy girls?”
“She never talks about that stuff.”
“What? You’re girls, aintcha? I thought you talked about everything.”
“Yeah, but . . . she don’t go out with people, does she? Not no more.”
Mal grinned, because there had been a bloody big dollop of West Country in those last few words. Then he saw her expression and kicked himself, mentally speaking. This wasn’t the time to tease her about going native. “Well, that’s good, innit? Means you ain’t got to worry about her getting with someone while she’s away.”
“S’pose.”
“And, like, when she’s here, she spends all her time with you, right? Apart from studying and that.”
“S’pose.”
“So you’re sorted, aintcha? Bet she’s missing you as much as you’re missing her.” He gave her a squeeze, which was when the towel round his waist decided to make a break for freedom and fell to the floor.
Tasha squealed and shrieked, “Get away from me, you perv!”
Jago reached the top of the stairs to see her pissing herself laughing and Mal trying to hold on to his dignity with both hands. He had a lot of dignity, all right?
Jago raised an eyebrow and said, “Never mind, my lad. Chances are you’re still growing.” Then he walked past them to his bedroom.
Well, if nothing else, it cheered Tasha up, Mal thought as he made a grab for his towel and legged it to his room.