Chapter 13
Juliana added the eggs to the ground azurite. The inclusion of the egg helped bind the ink to the vellum. As she brought it over to Sister Ursula’s worktable, it suddenly occurred to her how quiet the older woman had been today. Though it was only obvious to her now because she’d been preoccupied herself. All day, her mind swung back and forth from Lettice in captivity to Will in absence.
Of course, she was glad he’d stayed away as she intended, but she was also disappointed he could so easily be dissuaded. Mayhap his feelings didn’t run as deep as he claimed. Yet, she missed him. Missed him so much she longed for Sister Ursula to bring up his name, but she didn’t. And, Juliana had so many questions. What was he like as a child? Did she fear for him when he went to war? What had his wife been like? Thinking of the other woman caused a flash of jealousy every time she came to mind.
Sensing eyes on her, Juliana looked up. Sister Ursula had been studying her intently, but she looked away when their gazes met.
At last, with a cry of exasperation, Sister Ursula put her work aside. “I don’t know if you intended it, but you put me in a position where I had to lie for you.”
Juliana’s stomach clenched in dread. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“The abbess was surprised I didn’t need you yesterday and sent you to the infirmary instead. I was surprised, too, as I did need assistance and wondered where you were. Though I confirmed your story. What were you up to in the infirmary?”
“Nothing. I’m interested in medicines.”
“You don’t get to run around here as you like. I feel I should warn you, the abbess has grown suspicious of you.” She looked over her shoulder and lowered her voice. “She’s having you watched. I shouldn’t be telling you this, and understand, I’m acting out of loyalty to my son. Not to you.”
“I’m sorry if you think I’ve put you in an awkward situation. I’ll try not to act in any way which can be construed as suspicious.”
“Do that,” said Sister Ursula, returning to her work. “I’ll send for Will if I have to, but I do not want to get mixed up in whatever you’re up to. This place is as much a sanctuary for me as it is for you.”
“I’m so sorry. I respect you and—”
She waved one gnarled hand in the air. “Sometimes people seek refuge in places like this. Protection. You, for instance. I learned early on to turn a blind eye, and I’d advise you to do the same. I don’t even know what you’re doing here, or what my son has to do with you.” She shrugged. “I don’t ask.” Her glance traveled down to Juliana’s stomach.
“Oh, nay! ’Tis not what you think.”
“I told you, I don’t think at all. ’Tis not my concern.”
Juliana decided to step back on her secret activities. She’d gotten too bold over the last few days, sneaking out of prayer services and not being where she was supposed to be so she could nose around instead. But once she’d found Lettice, she couldn’t keep away. She didn’t even have a plan of how to help her, but she found times to visit her during the day—the risk of getting caught increasing.
Most times, the other woman showed no indication she was aware she had a visitor. She worked at the needlework in her lap. When Juliana looked at it, her throat constricted with tears to see the nonsensical arrangement of threads. The bright, pretty bride she remembered was locked deep inside this other paler, ghostly version of herself.
But one day, she’d crept in the hidden room at the start of day while the others were at Prime. On this occasion, there was a faint spark of life in the poor girl. When Juliana got close to her, Lettice suddenly reached out and grabbed her arm in a claw-like hold. Startled, Juliana had jumped back.
“Help me,” came a voice weak with disuse.
Both women looked to the door when the sounds of others stirring were heard from below. Juliana had to leave with reluctance, but not before promising to be back.
That encounter sealed the suspicion she had that Lettice was being drugged. She’d caught her in the morning when the effects were wearing off, and before they fed her more.
That very day, she went to the infirmary with the lie she’d been sent there to help out. She stood in front of Sister Celeste, her insides twisting in knots, the lie on her lips. To her relief, the nun only nodded. “Good. We have need of more help today. People have been wandering in with fever. You can assist me so the others can take care of our usual charges.”
Juliana had spent the afternoon assisting in bloodletting the feverish. While they tended to the sick, Sister Celeste was only too happy to show off her knowledge of plants and herbs. When Juliana showed she was an apt pupil, the nun let her help her mix medicines.
“This is henbane seed.” She scooped a measure of small, gray seeds into a mortar. “Next, I add the hemlock. Grind them up.”
“Do we make a potion out of this?”
Sister Celeste’s plump hand went to her mouth. “Oh, nay! ’Tis too strong. We apply it to their aching parts in a poultice.”
“Would it kill them if they swallowed it?”
“In large enough amount; but mainly, ingesting henbane and hemlock induces madness, or a sleep-like state.”
Juliana’s ears pricked up. Before she left the infirmary, she’d learned a few other medicines that would have the same effect, including opium. She was certain drugs were the cause of Lettice’s stupor.
Now, as she hurried down the hallway from the scriptorium to the chapel for Sext None, she weighed all the elements of this dilemma. Clearly, Lettice was being held against her will. Juliana considered stealing her away, but even if she could accomplish such a thing, where would she take her? No, she needed to hold on to this information for a while and do nothing. Until she had a solution, she was only putting the other woman at risk. And, Lettice wasn’t the only one she was endangering. There was Sister Ursula to consider, as she realized after their talk. And herself. And…Will.
Oh, Will, where are you? Yes, she would end this now. After Sext None, she’d send for Will and tell him to come to her, and she’d tell him. Her heart ached for him, thinking how cruel she’d been to him.
Hark! She stopped in her tracks at the clap of horse hooves hitting cobblestones. Her spirits soared. If he tried to kiss her, she wouldn’t stop him this time. Mayhap she’d even rush into his arms. He’d laugh at her fickle nature. She could imagine the sound of his laughter and the twinkle in his eyes.
She ran to the window and her breath caught in her chest. Approaching the gate was a large knight, bigger than Will, even. His hood was off and she saw he had long black hair. As if a chill wind blew over her, Juliana’s skin prickled with goosebumps.