Chapter Three
Derrick sat on the edge of his bed in the dark, staring out the window. His alarm clock flashed quarter til five in the am. Sleep was out of the question. Of all the places to perform, did it have to be right there? And why the hell did they wait til the last minute to tell him about it? Ash made a convincing argument about it being a worthy cause as most of the money would be going to the college campus housing and the crowd wouldn’t be near what a normal concert topped out at. For him it wasn’t about the hundreds in the crowd, he could deal with that every day. It was about the one girl that went to that college. Yes, there were thousands of other girls on that campus but he wasn’t still in love with all those other girls, he wanted Regan. In every way.
They had such a great relationship while they were together, practically a match made in heaven. When she was off in the summer, she even traveled with them and the guys were cool with hanging around. She wasn’t in the way and was a genuinely nice person. Plus, the guys liked her cooking. Derrick fell in love with her that summer. He hadn’t mean to but she was just so easy to love. At the beginning, he hadn’t expected it to last with her going back to school to get her masters.
He guessed some might consider her a groupie, but she was different. She agreed to go to his concert with friends under duress and they had to drag her backstage against her will but the first time he laid eyes on her he knew she was the one. They spent the next three days together and never even had sex. However, once they did, that was as amazing as she was. Not that he had a lot of experience in that field to begin with. The groupies that hounded them at every concert and every hotel they stayed in never interested him. Probably the reason he could focus so well on his music.
“That’s it.” Why hadn’t he thought of it before?
It was true he loved the music before he met her. He’d grown up loving it, the beat matched the rhythm of his heart. But she made him a new, better man that had room for both. When she left, she’d taken his heart with her and left him half a man. Uninspired. Falling into a world where he no longer cared about anything. And that included his music. Didn’t feel the same anymore without her. It happened gradually, he hadn’t noticed til now. When Ash forced him to with the college concert.
He didn’t blame her for leaving, his wasn’t a life that most could deal with. The thing about it was, now that he had a glimpse of himself with someone he loved, he didn’t want his old life back.
“Jesus, be honest for once in your fucking life. She didn’t leave you because of your lifestyle, she left because you screwed her over in a moment of weakness.”
“Are you talking to yourself?”
“Shit man, don’t sneak up like that.” He wasn’t used to having anyone in his space. Ash usually went home to his own place but they were on the wrong end of town once they’d gotten a passed-out Ollie to his own place.
“Sorry bud, didn’t mean to. I was going in search of coffee when I heard voices.”
“Just in here beating myself up.” Same thing he’d been doing since before Afterthought decided to take a break.
“Well knock that shit off. What-the-hell good does it do to dwell on the past. You can’t change the things you did.”
“Thanks genius, I know that.” Ash was nothing if not straight to the point.
“Christ Derrick, it’s time you got out of this funk. We’re all suffering for it. You know you are the best at writing our music and we’re all itching to get back out there.”
“Well you just said I can’t change the shit I did so what now?”
“Damn, are you that dense? You may not be able to change any of it but you can make amends.” When Derrick looked at Ash like he had two heads he elaborated. “Fix things, you know, apologize and talk it out? Ask for forgiveness.”
Derrick ran his hands through his hair. The thought of having to face her now scared the shit out of him. “I don’t even know if she’d talk to me at this point.”
“Guess you won’t know til you try huh? Now where do you keep the damn coffee, I need it bad.”
***
Marci covered Regan with the comforter on her bed as she sobbed and mumbled incoherently, asking the same question multiple times.
“Tell me again how she knew about the concert?”
“Honey, you need to sleep, you’ve had too much alcohol.” But really, she hadn’t. She didn’t feel it at all. She was just in shock. Why would Afterthought be having a concert at the college, were they trying to garner attention to come back out again? She remembered hearing that they were taking a break because the band members were all burned out from the traveling. She didn’t really believe it. She’d traveled with them, she’d seen it first-hand. They lived for that life. It was a hard life but all four of them loved it.
“Just tell me.” Regan breathed out the words between sobs.
“Okay, okay…the waitress was pretty flighty but she claims DJ was at the bar earlier, out on the deck drinking. The rest isn’t important but she said she overheard someone in the bar say Afterthought was doing a benefit concert on Saturday to help raise money for new dorms at the college. I don’t know Regan, she could be right but I just don’t know.”
Regan was speechless. They needed to find out for sure. She didn’t remember seeing any fliers around campus but then again, she didn’t really pay too much attention to her surroundings when she was walking to class.
“Can I ask you something Regan?” She only nodded her head. Words were hard to form.
“I promised you a long time ago I wouldn’t interfere in your relationship when you started dating DJ but maybe, if it is true and he’s coming here, don’t you think you should try to talk to him?”
She shook her head dramatically then covered her eyes with her hands. “I wouldn’t know what to say.”
“You haven’t talked to the man since that night, right? Maybe it’s time to hash it out like rational adults.”
“I don’t know how to be rational when I’m around him. I saw him downtown once. He didn’t see me so I ducked into the tack store and his behind one of the racks until he’d passed by.”
“Good lord, really?”
“Yes really. I told you, I get all fluttery and tongue tied when I see him and I panic.”
“And why do you think that is?”
“I don’t know, maybe because I’m angry that he could so easily cheat on me when presented with a way sexier and much prettier girl.”
“Are you sure that’s what he did?”
“Are you kidding me?” Regan threw off the comforter and jumped from her bed to pace around her bedroom.
“Jesus Regan, let’s just stop for a minute and rehash that night okay?” She stopped pacing and sat on the window sill, staring out into the back yard where the sun was starting to come up.
“I’ve been coddling you long enough. I can’t see you mope around here anymore. I’m tired of walking on egg shells and the other girls shouldn’t have to.”
“Have I been that bad?” Regan’s face fell in defeat. Marci sat down beside her, throwing an arm around her shoulder.
“You have but it’s okay. I really want to help you with this. Know what I think?”
“Geez, it’s hard to tell. You’re always so closed off and quiet.” Both women laughed.
“Yeah I have a badass reputation to uphold you know. Anyway, what I honestly think is that you’re still in love with him but you’re holding a grudge because of what you think he did.” Marci watched Regan’s face run through a few different emotions. The important thing is that she never denied it. She couldn’t because she knew Marci was right. She got hurt but she never got over him. However, she didn’t want to confront him.
Marci was waiting on an answer. She wouldn’t accept anything but what she wanted to hear. Did Regan have it in her to deal with it?
“Okay, okay…you’re right. I do still love him and I’m miserable. I have been trying really hard to focus on school because I also need to pass and get my degree but he…” she took a deep breath to gather her thoughts. “He consumes my every waking moment and it drives me batty.”
“Well men are like that in general from my experience, the driving us batty part but my question is…is it still worth it to be mad enough at him to not talk it out? Did you actually see him screw that other girl?”
And there it was, the million-dollar question. She hated it when Marci made sense. She was good at gloating too, damn her.
“Why is it that you know so much?”
Her friend laughed and walked across the room to Regan’s closet.
“I wish that were true. It’s just that I know you sweetheart. Sleep is overrated at this time of the morning so let’s see what little hot numbers you have in your closet to wear to a concert, for you and me.”