This book is the end of four years of struggle to tell this story. My heart breaks a little as I write this, because during those four years, when I had to put Mira aside to focus on my other stories, she was always with me. It’s the longest time I’ve carried a character with me. I know her story better than I know the story of almost anyone else, and even though I created her, she took on a life of her own with me as the guide to telling her story.

Because of this, I have to thank my family more than anyone else. Each book is a sacrifice, not just for me but my whole family. I missed many museum, movie, Bear World, park, and other dates. My husband stepped up, being mom and dad when I had to lock myself in my office for an entire weekend. I couldn’t dedicate an hour a day to Mira. She was all-consuming, taking on her own life really and once I was in that headspace, I was wholly dedicated to it. My husband missed Comic Con so I could write. If that’s not sacrifice, I don’t know what else is. My kids missed valuable mommy time, and that I mourn for so deeply that I grieve for it as I write these acknowledgements. The process of writing this book has brought me to many discoveries about the choices I’ve made to put writing ahead of my family and my friends, and if I’m grateful to Mira and Six for anything, it’s for reminding me of the reasons I wanted to write: to support the beautiful and incredible family I’ve helped create and to tell the stories that exist in the darkest parts of my soul.

I hesitate to say that writing this book was like writing through an exorcism, because the very word implies evil or dark. But Mira haunted me, more than any character has. She’s the heroine I’ve always wanted to write, because I’ve been self-sabotaging, I’ve been unkind and cunning and villainous and cruel at moments of my life. Maybe this book is my penance for all the wrong things I’ve done to others, for how much this book tested me and will forever color my writing going forward. I’ll never be able to write another Mira, and that’s a good thing. Because writing her blurred the lines between who she is and who I have known myself to be. Readers often tell me how much of Mira they saw in their lives—the way I see Mira in my own. And that’s who I wrote this book for. So that’s why I dedicated these books to you. I’m passionate about mental health and seeking help. Mistakes are scars on our past, but they’re not the definition of who we are or who we can become.

I’ve lost mentors and friends over the last four years, and often wondered—like Mira—if people had given up on me. Subconsciously, I wrote my abandonment fears into Mira’s character. When you suffer from mental illness, the part of you that is sick is the same part that has to make decisions about treating that sick part. It’s what’s so baffling about mental illness. When you break your leg, your leg doesn’t have to think independently, to tell you to go to the hospital for a cast. Your brain does. And when your brain is sick, it has to make rational decisions to treat it, too. The same organ that tells me I’m not worthy of love or anything good is the same organ that has to make the decision to seek help. It’s hard for a lot of people to understand that, and even harder to talk about it. But I’m telling you right now, if you’re struggling, there are people who can help you. Who will listen without judgement, who will walk with you when you think you’re destined to travel through life alone. There are resources set up just for people like me, like you. Visit to get started.

To my people, the ones who were there during the process that was this book—this story as a whole. I have so much more to say, but some things are private, and will be said to you in your signed copies. To keep it brief:

Sona Babani, for never leaving me over the last eighteen years.

Jade Eby, my beebee, for inspiring me with your strength.

Whitney Giselle Belisle, for your undeniable love and support, and all that you gave to me and to this book. For cheering on this story, even after you read the first (horrific) draft so many years ago.

Talon Smith, for believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself. And for being the world’s best ASSistant.

Samantha Nania, for being so accommodating and thoughtful with your comments.

Christina Harris, for talking me off the ledge and for giving so much of your thoughts to me over the course of the last few weeks leading up to release.

Kristen Johnson, for talking me through the process and through my grief.

Tiffany Silver, for telling me what you did about Six Feet Under, and for messaging me with the right things at the right times.

Amanda Maria, for your honest feedback when I needed it and super quick turnaround.

Ginelle Blanch, for your selflessness in dropping everything for me, all the time.

Lex Martin, for being so fucking smart and my main squeeze.

Cynthia Aponte, for loving Mira and therefore loving me.

I look at that list of names above and am taken aback by how incredibly blessed I am. This book would not be what it is without each one of you. I’m awed by you and grateful for your passion for this book and for lifting me up when I thought I’d fail. You are the reason this book exists. Thank you, from the bottom of my Mira-sized heart.

Thank you to Alexander for the beautiful photo,.Thank you, Naj, as always, for your incredible talent. And Nadege for making the print look phenomenal.

To Lizette, the world’s best book coach—thank you for working on the outline of this with me, and for helping me make the decision to move chapter thirty all the way up to the beginning.

To M*. What can I say except thank you.

Thank you to my own counselor, K. You made me realize that this book is something worth doing, and that one day it might make it into the hands it needs to be in.

Thank you to Jean Marie for helping me and giving it to me straight. I needed that kind of gut-punch honesty to make this what it is.

Thank you to KP for coming in clutch.

Thank you, Karen Cimms, for always making me feel like a real writer when I feel like I’m still a kid playing dress up.

Thank you, Kat, for giving words to Mira’s soul with your poem.

A million thank yous to Linda with Foreword PR. Thanks for handling all the stuff I did NOT want to do. Thank you for being my cheerleader, for lifting me up when I was down. It is so, so appreciated.

To the author groups who keep me sane: ST, DND, and TW. I’m so honored to be included in these groups and to have your support.

Thank you to my Barbetti Babes—I love each one of you so freaking much. If I could, I’d buy all of you tacos. Thank you for traveling far and wide to meet me at signings, and for giving me all the feels with your love and support.

I have one million bloggers to thank, for going out of their way to pimp my books AND me! I value your support and your time, so I thank you for all the times you shared my books with your followers. I know many of you also gifted copies of my books to your friends and/or hosted giveaways for my books. I truly thank each of you. I am AWED by you. You give so much of yourself for authors like me, and I hope you know that you are so deeply appreciated.

Thank you to all my readers for your enthusiasm for Six Feet Under. Releasing that book felt like I was naked in front of the world. But not naked with my skin, something deeper than my mere flesh: my soul. I am humbled by your support for Mira and for her story.

Finally, thank you to my Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ, for giving me strength when I am weak. I was weak so many times while writing this book and was lifted each time by Your grace. Psalm 34:4