Chapter 17
Pipe
“Wake up.”
I tossed my arm over face and rolled over.
“Pipe, wake up. You’re gonna be sore in the morning if you sleep on the floor all night.”
“Slept in worse places, sugar,” I mumbled.
“Well, I don’t care. Get off my floor.”
I moved my arm and opened my eyes to see Nikki standing over me. “Sugar.”
“Don’t sugar me. I just wrestled Karmen and Cora into bed. I’m not really in the mood to do it with you.” She rubbed her arm. “Damn, Karmen has a hell of a right hook if you wake her up.”
“You okay?”
“I’ll be better when I can finally go to sleep. Between the three of you conking out by the middle of the movie and taking turns sawing logs, there was no way I was going to fall asleep.” She grabbed the remote off of the side table and turned off the TV. “Now, get up.”
“What time is it?” I half sat up, leaning back on my elbows.
“Ten-thirty.”
Shit. There was no way in hell I was going to be able to go back to sleep now. I was lucky to get three hours of uninterrupted sleep a night. My little siesta at nine-thirty wasn’t going to bode well for me sleeping anymore. “I’ll get out of your hair, sugar.” If she was tired, she didn’t need me bugging her.
“You’re fine. I just didn’t think the floor could be very comfortable.”
I stood up and brushed my hand down my shirt. “Like I said, I’ve slept in far worse places.”
She rolled her eyes. “I’m not in the mood to hear stories of your debauchery.”
I shook my head. “Not what I’m talking about. Once I hit eighteen, I never slept in a shit place, because I always had a home with the Lords.”
She tilted her head, and her hair fell in her eyes. “What about before you turned eighteen?”
I reached out, not even thinking, and brushed her hair back. She froze instantly, and I knew I had crossed a line. I took a step back and put my hands in my pockets. “I was in and out of foster homes.”
“What?”
“Um, I said I was in foster care. My parents didn’t want me when I was born. I lived in a shit county that didn’t try to find me adoptive parents, so I lived in about ten foster homes before I aged out of the system.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Not a big deal. Lots of kids go through it, I was just lucky to make it out.”
“Um, I was in foster care too,” she whispered. “My dad died when I was six, and my mom couldn’t handle it.”
“Fuck, sugar.” I didn’t care if I had a shit life, but I didn’t want that for Nikki.
She shrugged and ran her fingers through her hair. “It was like my mom wanted me, but she missed my dad real bad, and then got into drugs.”
Her voice was quiet and timid. “Nikki, you don’t have to tell me. It’s okay.”
She ignored me completely. “I remember coming home from school, and my mom was passed out at the kitchen table. She was still breathing, but I couldn’t wake her up. I ran upstairs pounding on all of the neighbor's doors until someone answered. We didn’t live in a nice apartment, but thankfully the person who answered my frantic knocking helped me. Social Services scooped me up so quickly, I didn’t even see if my mom was okay. They kept telling me over and over she was fine, but I couldn’t live with her anymore. I got it, but there was still a side that just wanted my mom.” She shook her head and looked down at the floor. “I have no idea why I just told you that.”
“I don’t either, sugar, but I’ll listen. Whatever you want to say, I’m here.”
She looked up with tears in her eyes. “But for how long?”
“How long for what?”
She swiped at her nose and looked to the right. “How long are you here for, Pipe?”
I didn’t know what to say. What was the right thing to say? For as long as she wanted me here? “I…well…”
She put her hand on my face and shook her head. “Nevermind. Get out.” She stalked to the door and threw it open.
Fuck.
“Nikki, look,I don’t know—”
“I know you don’t know, Pipe. That’s the damn problem.”
I grabbed her hand and pulled her to me. She tried to pull away, but I wasn’t going to let her go before I said what I need to. “I don’t know what to say to make this shit better.”
“Well, you need to say something. Something more than you don’t know.”
“I’m sorry.”
She threw her head back and laughed. “You’re sorry for what? For being a man? For sleeping with me? You’re sorry for even meeting me? What the hell are you sorry for, because from where I’m standing, there's a list of things.”
“I’m sorry about that night. I didn’t know.” Mother fuck, this shit was hard. Who the hell wanted to sit around and talk about their feelings?
“You didn’t know what?”
Fuck. This was like pulling teeth. My fucking teeth. “I didn’t know what the fuck to do with you. We had fucking amazing sex and then I had no idea what to do. I’ve never been with a chick and actually wanted to be around her when we weren’t having sex.”
“So what? I was just supposed to hang around until you pulled your head out of your ass and decided you actually wanted to talk to me when my clothes were on?” She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me.
I was losing ground fast. “I did spend time with you before we had sex when your clothes were on. It was after we had sex I couldn’t figure out how to still have sex with you and you know, hang out.”
“Jesus, Cora was right.” Nikki paced the short length of the living room. “You really don’t know how to do a relationship. A part of me feels sorry for you.”
Hey, I wasn’t above her feeling sorry for me. She was at least feeling something for me. “I don’t know how to fix this.”
She threw her hands up in the air and stopped mid-pacing. “There’s nothing you need to do because we weren’t anything when I walked in on you. We didn’t make promises to each other. So my head is telling me I can’t be mad at you, my heart says I should tell you to get lost, and my body, well, my body sucks.”
A smirk spread across my lips. “Your body does not suck, sugar.”
She rolled her eyes and waved her hand in the air. “No, my body thinks it wants you.”
I shook my head and grabbed her hand. “No, your body needs me, just like mine needs you.”
“That may be true, but I can’t think with only my body.”
I pulled her close and wrapped my other arm around her waist. “Then how about you just feel with your body.”
She closed her eyes and slightly shook her head. “I can’t. Not yet.”
“Yet?”
She opened her eyes and tilted her head back to look up at me. “Because the last time we did that, I ended up moving an hour away. I’m kind of fond of Kales Corners for the time being.”
“Does that mean I need to leave?” Please Lord, don’t say yes.
She bit her bottom lip, and her eyes shifted down. “Um, I guess you’re okay living over there.”
“But am I okay being here, right now?”
A smile spread across her lips, and she looked up. “Maybe a little too close.”
I pressed a quick kiss to her forehead and took a step back. “Better?”
A laugh bubbled from her lips. “For now.”
And the carefree, sexy angel I knew surfaced for two seconds when her eyes connected with mine. “Sugar, I love when you look at me like that.”
She ducked her head. “Damn you,” she whispered.
I was pushing her. She wanted me, and I wasn’t going to let her run from it anymore. She had come to me that night to be with me, and I had been a dumbass by not recognizing it. “What are you guys up to tomorrow?” I wanted to push her, but not away from me.
“Um, I think Karmen mentioned driving to some state park nearby and having a picnic. I really don’t know what she’s thinking half of the time. Cora isn’t into nature, and I don’t think Karmen is up for hiking.”
“Yeah, I can’t really imagine you three traipsing through the woods with a picnic basket. I figured the mall would be more your speed.”
Nikki ran her fingers through her hair and laughed. “Definitely more my thing. I’m more of a nature in small segments kind of girl. You know, while walking from my house to my car is a good bit of nature for me. But Karmen was all gung-ho about the park today, so who knows where we’re going to end up.” Nikki smothered a yawn with the back of her hand and sighed.
I brushed her hair back from her face. “I should let you get some sleep, sugar. Whatever you guys end up doing, you’re going to need your strength.”
“Um, are you going to come with us? You know, uh, well, because of Cora,” she stuttered.
“Yeah, I suppose I should be there.” Wrecker had told me I needed to keep a close eye on Cora, so the fact Nikki was going to be with her the whole time worked perfectly. “Knock on my door when you guys figure out what you’re going to do.”
She nodded and took another step back from me. I had pushed her far enough tonight. I got to touch her, and she hadn’t flinched away. Definitely progress.
“See you in the morning, sugar.” I slipped out the front door and waited ‘til I heard the lock slip into place before I pulled a cigarette out and lit the end of it.
I may have spent the whole night with Nikki and her friends, but I found out she still wanted me. Even though she was fighting it, I knew she wanted me.
Fuck yeah.
*