She’s still so unflinchingly brave.

I lean back against my bar counter and set down the food. I need both my arms for this. I reach for the woman who’s working herself toward guilt for doing exactly the right thing. “Truth is the sexiest thing there is, Chloe. You’re not wobbling anything. You’re giving us a chance to show up for each other as adults. Thank you.”

I can see her surprise. And I can see the edges of why takeout Thai has caused her to feel wobbly. I debate a moment, because we’re supposed to be hanging out in vanilla territory tonight, but I don’t know how to clean this up as a vanilla guy. “You’re right. Me taking the time to learn your needs without asking you is absolutely a form of control. It wasn’t intentional on my part, and I’m sorry for that.”

She tilts her head, a little bemused. “Some of this stuff goes beyond the bedroom, does it?”

“It can. But this isn’t about kink. It’s about who I like to be in the world. I wanted to let you know that tonight matters to me, and that’s how I chose to do it.” I snug her in a little tighter to my body. “But it might not be the best way to communicate that to you, and that’s what I want to understand.”

Her eyes close, but not before I see the flickers of shame. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t seeing it that way at all.”

No wonder vanilla relationships crash into so many things. “That isn’t your fault.” I put enough firmness into my words that her eyes snap back open, and then I ask the question that matters. “I took control, and you felt it happen. Why is that uncomfortable for you?”

Her head jolts like my words landed physically. Her breath catches, and she pushes back against the clasp of my arms around her waist. Then she stops, looking down at her hands clenched on my biceps. “Huh. Apparently it still is.”

I chuckle and soften my hold. “Keep following that thought.”

Her hands start to move, up and down my biceps. Which makes it damn hard to concentrate. I focus on the wrinkles that form between her eyebrows as she thinks.

Her hands stop, and she looks up at me again, the bold back in her eyes. “Because when you take control, it takes something from me.”

Almost there. “It gives you something too. If you want it.”

She pushes out of my arms, but she’s not running now, and I let her go. She walks slowly down the length of my bar counter. Brushes her fingers over the bag of Thai food, nodding slowly. Working it through. “Freedom. Space to be here and not worry about making my belly happy. A chance to feel pampered and cherished.”

Thank fuck. I didn’t completely screw up, other than entirely mangling the whole vanilla deal. “Yes.”

She turns her head, looking off into the distance. Thinking again. “That part is really nice, actually.” She takes a deep breath, blows it out, and meets my eyes. “But I think I need to give up the control, not have you take it.”

That’s not a line I hear often. “Tell me what you mean.”

She pushes away from the counter, her feet taking her on a circle through my living room. A faster pace, matching her thoughts. “I have customers who special order things. Some of them have really precise requirements, and some of them want me to surprise them.” She stops and looks at me from the far side of my coffee table. “But they ask me. I don’t just surprise them if they didn’t ask.”

She’s so very sure this is hard—that the words she’s saying to me are some kind of terrible blow. I need her to understand they’re a gift. “So this afternoon, when I invited you to dinner, if I had requested a chance to spoil and surprise you, would that have made the moment when I told you I’d called Mandy feel different?”

Surprise lands in her body before it hits her eyes. “Yes, actually.”

She’s so beautiful right now. I close the distance between us, flanking my coffee table and putting my hands on her hips. “Then you would have been able to see it as being taken care of and cherished.”

She’s nodding, but there’s still puzzlement. “I’m not sure why it makes such a difference, but when you said it just like that, I could feel the tangle inside me relax.”

I take her hand in mine and kiss her fingers. “That’s because you need to give your consent before you give up control.”

Her eyes widen.

I grin and kiss her nose. “Sorry. I promise to be as vanilla as possible for the rest of the night.”

She’s already shaking her head. “No, I hear that this wasn’t intentional. It was my reaction that pushed us here, but you have some way of understanding what just happened that I don’t. I’m still a little confused, but I like where it’s taking us.”

I kiss her nose again and pick up the food, because her stomach is growling, even if she hasn’t noticed. “Food. I’ll explain why consent matters so much in my world over green mango salad.”

Her eyes soften. “You really did quiz Mandy.”

I did, and now it’s landing the way I meant. And I’ve learned something really important about the woman Chloe has become.