Blake
Blake studied Mackenzie’s bewitching gaze and contemplated taking her in the back of his truck. No, she deserved better. They’d yet to have a real date and now was as good a time as any to have their first.
“So. Dinner.”
“I have some chicken in the fridge I can cook up.”
No way. He wanted to wine and dine her properly, like a woman deserved. “How do you feel about Italian?”
“Why? You have some cabernet running through your blood?” The sexy vixen cocked her hip, her lip mimicking the move as she scraped a nail down his chin.
“A little of this and a little of that.” He needed to keep his head on straight, to focus on his future for a few minutes, before stripping Mackenzie naked again. “I’ll follow you home, give you a few minutes to close up shop, then I’m taking you out to Antonio’s.”
It wasn’t fancy Italian, more family style, but it would get the job done. Show her she was more than a quick lay and a good time.
“Sounds good.” Mackenzie ducked under his arm and slid behind the wheel before he could pull her in for another kiss.
Just as well. He didn’t think he’d be able to stop himself before another gym rat lurked in the parking lot.
During his drive into town, his mind drifted between picturing Mackenzie naked and the worry of his crazy sister harassing his family. Talk about polar opposites and messed up. He didn’t want to cloud his sex-lationship with Mack with thoughts of Alyssa.
A wave of guilt crashed in his gut. He shouldn’t have ditched his family last night. Between the stream of unread texts from Rachael and Graham, and the verbal thrashing he’d gotten from Colton in the gym, Blake was in full escape mode.
He didn’t need to read Rach’s texts to know they’d be sappy and supportive. Or Graham’s texts to see the light hearted humor. Probably an offer to go for an escape flight down south where the women showed more skin than clothes and the alcohol flowed freely. Graham got him. They were the escape artists in the family.
It was Colton’s lecture that threw him for a loop. The Riley siblings were really good about backing off when one was down. They supported each other without the pressure to talk. Yet elusive Colton rode his ass about ditching the family last night and ignoring their mom and blowing off Luke and Sage.
Blake didn’t need the added guilt. He didn’t have a freaking clue how to handle the situation. All the world needed was another messed-up Snyder destroying all that was good.
Instead of feeling grateful that his brother was taking in his niece, Blake had brushed Luke off, opting for some sex therapy rather than discuss the implications he knew would come from taking in a Snyder.
Blake pulled around back of Coast & Roast and waited while Mackenzie jogged inside. He could wait for her in there, watch her do her thing, but he needed a moment to get his mental state back in the zone before going out to dinner.
He rolled down his windows and turned up the local country station, soaking in the easygoing words of Sam Hunt and Florida Georgia Line. Maybe he should move south. Become a farmer or a cowboy. It was more his style. Find himself a country girl who liked to wear those ass-cupping denim shorts and plaid shirts. Maybe a cowboy hat and boots.
Smooth, tanned skin and large dark eyes and a smile that brightened when she saw him.
“Ready, cowboy?”
Blake opened his eyes and jumped. “That was fast.” He took in Mackenzie’s face, framed by her long, dark hair, and made a lazy assessment of the rest of her. Thin pale green tank top and…was it…? He leaned out the window to check out her legs.
“Damn.” Ass-cupping denim shorts. “Get in the truck before it’s too late.”
“Too late for what?” She rounded the hood, keeping her razor sharp gaze on him all the way, and climbed into the passenger side.
“Dinner,” he grumbled as he started the engine.
“We may still be in time for the early bird special.” Mackenzie snapped her buckle and crossed her long, tanned legs.
She was a good distraction. “Or we could skip dinner and do dessert at my place.”
Too damned good of a distraction. Blake couldn’t help but snicker as he steered the truck toward Portland. They filled the rest of the twenty minute ride with mindless banter, neither one of them bringing up the heavy topic of family.
Mackenzie had her own family issues to deal with; she didn’t need to be burdened with his shit. Besides, those in sex-lationships didn’t talk about emotions and feelings and serious stuff.
When they got to Antonio’s, Blake helped her out of the truck and resisted the temptation to hold her hand as they walked into the restaurant. They laughed over drinks, flirted while eating their salads, and then her chicken marsala and his manicotti came out.
“My mom makes the best manicotti. She doesn’t remember her secret ingredient and I want to tell her, but I don’t know how she’ll react. I wish she could remember.” Mackenzie eyed his meal for a second before cutting her chicken.
“Want a bite?” Blake offered her a forkful.
Mackenzie shook her head. “No thanks.” The light that was in her eyes a few minutes ago dimmed.
If they were in a normal relationship—not that he had a clue what that meant—he’d ask about her mom, her dad, inquire a little about her brothers, her nephew who sometimes worked the counter at Coast & Roast. Instead he played safe.
“How’s the water heater?”
She looked up from her plate and grinned. “Dad says Mom’s been soaking in the tub every night. She’s messed up the timetable she’s had in place for thirty some-odd years.”
“That’s a good thing, right?”
“Totally. Thanks, by the way. My dad still talks about you. My brothers were never handy around the house. More booksmartish. I’d rather have helped him mow the lawn and fix the broken steps or wire the house than learn how to properly knead bread or hem a pair of pants. Mom didn’t think it was proper, though.”
“I guess my mom did the same with us. Rachael, however, was meant to do the stereotypical women’s jobs.”
“Easy, big fella.” Mackenzie pointed her fork at him.
“Hey, I said stereotypical. If Rach wasn’t into the kitchen thing Doreen would have supported her regardless. She’s not pressuring Lucy into doing anything domestic. But she did make all of us do laundry and wash dishes. Even master a recipe or two. So we wouldn’t starve to death. Luke practiced his pies, Colton did the mac and cheese thing. Graham went Italian and worked on his lasagna.”
“What’s your poison?”
Blake picked up his beer, smiling into his glass. “The grill, baby. Steak and potatoes.”
Mackenzie snorted. “Sounds like you took the easy way out. Slapping a steak on the grill doesn’t take a lot of work.”
“Oh.” Blake set his beer down and clutched his chest. “That hurts.”
“You have to admit, making a pie or lasagna takes more skill that grilling.”
Blake shook his head in disappointment. “You, my poor, lost, deprived child, have never tasted a Blake Riley steak. It’s a…an experience you’ll never forget.”
“Really? So why haven’t you offered to grill me up a Blake Riley steak before?”
“I don’t have a grill yet at my place and by the time I made it to Mom’s last night the food had already been cooked.”
His mom’s. Everyone was having a good time, even with the razzing of his and Mackenzie’s not-so-secret thing they had going on, until he’d learned about his sister. And his niece.
Blake picked up his beer again and wished he could drink it all away. Not that he was a heavy drinker, or one to drown his sorrows in a bottle.
“Blake?” Mackenzie leaned forward, her elbows on the table, her eyes filled with worry.
This was exactly what he didn’t want. For people to know about his past and the shame to come bubbling to the surface. Those years of therapy that Keith and Doreen forced him into when he was a teen came rushing back. He knew better than to categorize himself as a Snyder. He wasn’t responsible for his mother’s decisions or mistakes, nor his sister’s.
Still, he shouldn’t have completely shut his family out. He should have reached out to his birth siblings a long time ago. It wasn’t their fault they were born to a drugged-up hooker either. Cody and Dawn were still out there somewhere. In their mid-twenties. Lost and alone.
“Are you worried about your niece?”
He finished his beer and pushed his plate to the side. “What makes you think I’m worried about her?”
Mackenzie sat back, her face revealing the hurt his words had caused. He didn’t mean to snap at her.
“I’m sorry if I overstepped. I don’t like talking about my family problems either.”
Family. He didn’t mind talking about them. The Rileys. The stories were often fun to tell, especially when it involved one of his brothers getting in trouble or breaking a heart or two in high school.
But Natalie was his family too. Blake scrubbed his hands across his face and cleared his throat.
“Melinda, my birth mom, sold her body for drugs. Four kids later…” He shrugged. “It wouldn’t surprise me if my older sister, Alyssa, Natalie’s mom, did the same.”
“Blake.” Mackenzie reached across the table and grabbed his hands.
He shrugged again and wished he still had a sip or five of beer left in his glass. “Most foster families didn’t want four kids, so we were often split up. Boys and girls. Melinda would harass the families, not to see her kids, but in search for money. She’d threaten them if they didn’t toss cash her way. Most times though she’d break in when they weren’t home. A few of the families accused me of stealing. Or Cody. He didn’t talk much. Selective mutism, they called it. Last I heard he ran away from his foster home when he was fifteen. Haven’t heard about him since.”
“And your sisters?”
“Dawn was younger and a cute little ballerina. I’m sure some family took her in and raised her right.”
“You haven’t heard from any of them over the years?” Her tone wasn’t judgmental. She stroked her soft fingers across his knuckles, the kindness and compassion in her eyes nearly making him come undone. Blake had never had the urge to let it all out, to tell anyone the sordid details of his past. Better to move on and not let it drag you down.
Besides, once he’d found love and freedom with the Rileys he’d had no urge to look back. No desire to reconnect with his siblings, who he was never close with anyway. They had nothing in common except a dead mother.
Keith and Doreen had asked him a few times after taking him in if he wanted to find his brother and sisters, but he was adamant that they didn’t connect. Blake wanted nothing to do with his past, no connection to the poverty, the drugs, the Johns, the teasing and tormenting he got in school, the men who beat him when he didn’t know where Melinda was.
Blake had been too caught up in his new life and his therapy to think of anyone besides himself. The guilt of years of selfishness weighed heavily on his shoulders.
“Every now and then I do. I imagine them with a new life, like I have. Sounds like that didn’t happen for Alyssa.”
“What was she like as a kid?”
“A snot. We fought a lot. I didn’t like her. She didn’t like me.” Blake couldn’t imagine treating one of his brothers or sisters—his Riley brothers or sisters—the way he and Alyssa did. They were cruel to one another and Melinda did nothing to stop them or teach them wrong from right.
“I don’t have much in common with my brothers either,” she said. “They’re so much older than me. More like older cousins or something.”
“You still keep in touch?”
“Yeah.” Mackenzie pulled her hand away and Blake caught hold of her pinky finger, working his fingers with hers until they were intertwined. “They visit on holidays. All too caught up with their families. My nephew Joey’s a good kid. A hard worker. I’m probably closer to him than to my brothers. They’ve left Mom and Dad’s care to me since I’m single and close. And don’t have a real job.”
“You’re an entrepreneur. How is that not a real job?”
“You lookin’ to get lucky again?” The Mackenzie smirk was back.
“I suppose you could say the same for me then.”
“You own a gym and a killer obstacle course that’s already attracted thousands of people and media attention.”
“Sounds like someone else wants to get lucky tonight as well.”
“I wouldn’t argue if you stripped down naked.”
Blake barked out a laugh. “Ditto.”
When the waitress came by a few minutes later and asked if they wanted dessert, Mackenzie ordered three cannoli. To go.
***
“I’ll never be able to eat or think about a cannoli again without picturing you naked.” Blake drew Mackenzie’s body in tight, spooning her from behind.
“Mmm. Agreed,” Mackenzie moaned.
“Picturing yourself naked?”
“You, dork.” Mackenzie bumped her butt into his groin and he groaned.
“Us.”
Wow. He’d never used the us word before. It was always him and her. Never a we, or us, or relationship. And he didn’t even feel faint or dizzy. No blood rushed to his head. Well, maybe his lower head.
He hated to leave her warm bed, her soft body, but if he stayed any longer he’d be spewing poetry and crap. Better to run before things turned dicey.
“I have to go into work pretty early tomorrow so I’m gonna take off.” He kissed her neck and gave her naked breast one last caress.
“Oh.” Call him an ass, but he loved the sound of disappointment in her voice. “I’m opening at five so I’ll need a good night’s sleep. Especially after today.”
“Yeah?” Pride filled his voice.
“The running. And obstacles. I’m beat.”
“And?” He rolled Mackenzie to her back and stared down into her playful eyes.
“And dinner. I’m stuffed.”
Blake caressed her sides, then, remembering how ticklish she was, gently poked her ribs with his fingers, enjoying the spasmic movement of her body.
“Stop. Seriously,” she laughed. “You’re going to make me pee.”
He stilled his hands, then moved them up her torso to her arms, which he pulled above her head until their hands were entangled near the headboard and Mackenzie was stretched out in all her glory.
Words of endearment danced at the tip of his tongue but he bit them back, sealing his lips with hers.
“I gotta go,” he whispered on her neck. She nodded and tugged at his earlobe with her teeth.
“Until next time.”
Blake rolled off her and crammed himself into his jeans, hoping he could zip up over his growing excitement. It wasn’t normal to be so horny. Horny was normal for Blake. But minutes after he’d had heaven-shaking sex? No. So not normal.
“Hey,” Mackenzie called from the bed when he’d reached the doorway. Blake stopped and looked over his shoulder. “Thanks for dinner. It was nice.”
He winked at her instead of responding, those unwelcome poetic, endearing words still lingering in his mouth, and let himself out of her apartment.
For the next two days Blake busied himself with work, running, checking on the obstacles, and more work. He’d never thought of himself as a computer guy, but the programming, designing, and engineering side of the business was quickly becoming his favorite part of the job, while Colton had found his niche in personal training.
His sisters, and unfortunately Mackenzie as well, had bailed on Ladies Night because Lucy was doing her art night thing at Coast & Roast. Part of Blake wanted to crash that party, covering Mackenzie’s body with paint before washing her—them—off in the shower. Instead, he did the responsible thing and called his brother and broached the subject he’d been avoiding all week.
“Beer?” Luke asked as he opened the door.
“Sounds good.” They stopped in the kitchen to grab a couple bottles and headed out back to sit on the deck.
They sat in silence, staring out at the darkening woods, quietly sipping from their bottles. Blake knew Luke wouldn’t pester, wouldn’t bring up the topic first. He was like that, a good listener. He knew when to wait, how to draw you out.
“So. My niece.”
“Yeah.”
Luke wasn’t going to make it easy. He’d only offer the information Blake asked for. The question was, how much information did Blake want?
“She’s fifteen? In high school?”
“Yeah. Just finished her freshman year. Well, not in credits. She’s going to need to go to summer school.”
“Here in Rocky Harbor?”
“It’s too late to start summer school. We’ll enroll her in school in August, though.”
“She happy about coming to live with you and Sage?”
Luke snorted. “Happy isn’t a word I’d use to describe her.”
“I don’t think it was a word Mom and Dad would have used when they first took us in either.”
“True. I know I was skeptical that a family could really love me. That they’d want me to stay forever.”
“You looking to keep Natalie forever?”
“If that’s what she wants.”
“And if she doesn’t?”
“Only time will tell.”
Blake finished his beer and picked at the label. “Does she know about me?”
Luke nodded. “Told her yesterday. We didn’t want to blindside her, start off on the wrong foot, you know?”
“How did she take it?”
For the first time since coming outside, Luke turned and looked at Blake, giving him the infamous big brother stare down. One could never tell what was going on inside Luke Riley’s head. His demeanor was usually cool, calm, and collected, but inside that giant beast of a head of his there was usually some deep analytical thought.
“She thinks you’re an asshole.”
Blake snorted. “Who doesn’t?”
“No.” Luke shook his head. “Like, serious shit. Alyssa didn’t paint a very nice picture of you.”
“What the hell does Alyssa Snyder know about me? I haven’t seen her in over fifteen years. Not since we were kids.” Blake jumped out of his seat and paced the deck.
“She’s toxic. She’s messed with her daughter’s head, fed her lies about you all, about her foster families. The state sees through her and won’t let her have custody of Natalie, but that doesn’t mean she’s stopped the lies. Or the torment.”
“I’m familiar with it. Melinda used to do the same. Those break-ins I told you about a while ago?”
“I put two and two together. I’m sorry Sage and I didn’t tell you about this earlier. We learned about Alyssa but didn’t think she’d make her way to Rocky Harbor so quickly.”
“Where was she living? Where was Natalie?”
“Natalie was in Rumford, and Alyssa’s exact whereabouts are never known. We know they’ve been in touch, which is how Natalie’s been brainwashed. She won’t say anything negative about her mom, though. According to her, everyone else is evil. Alyssa, for some reason, is a saint in her daughter’s eyes.”
“Three hours away and in the middle of nowhere, yet she still finds her way to us.” Blake leaned against the railing, staring into the dark woods. “So is it a coincidence, or did you set out in search for my dear kin? I’m sure there are plenty of teens around here who need foster care.”
Luke joined him, resting his elbows on the railing as well. “You’d mentioned Dawn and Cody once when we were teens. You were drunk and rambling about all sorts of shit.”
“I’d say I remember that time, but there were quite a few.”
“Yeah.” Luke sighed. “I should have come to you first. Asked you how you felt about it. It started out as a curious investigation. When I learned about Natalie, Sage and I couldn’t walk away.”
“Did you find out anything about…”
“Dawn is working on her PhD in New York and Cody’s been backpacking through Europe for over a year. He was in and out of trouble in his teens. Small thefts. Seems like he’s trying to discover himself, according to his last case manager.”
“That’s good.” An unexpected release of tension left his shoulders. Cody and Dawn had been so young, so innocent. They didn’t deserve to grow up in a dysfunctional home. Maybe someday he’d look them up, but not until he had his own life squared away.
“Sage and I shouldn’t have gone behind your back. I’m sorry, Blake.”
“No, don’t be. I’m thankful for you and Sage. For whatever you can do for my…for Natalie.”
“We’ll do our best.”
“And if the shit gets to be too much, promise me you won’t sacrifice yourself or your marriage. She’s not your problem. If things get rough, I’ll step in. I’ll take her until she’s old enough to live on her own.” He straightened and looked Luke in the eyes, hoping his brother could see how serious his was about the offer.
“I appreciate the gesture.” Luke placed a hand on Blake’s shoulder and squeezed. “We’re not sacrificing anything. This is what Sage and I want to do. Even if Natalie wasn’t related to you, we wouldn’t give up on her. That’s not what Mom or Dad would have done.”
“You’re a better man than me, Luke. I couldn’t do it.”
“And you don’t have to. It doesn’t make me better or you better. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Our contributions to society.”
“Some more than others.”
“True.”
They stood in silence until the sun fully set and they couldn’t make out the shadows in the woods anymore.
“So when do I get to meet my niece?”
“Sunday barbecue at Mom’s.”
“I’m manning the grill.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”
***
Running through fire, climbing over barbed wire, crawling through thirty-foot long foxholes, taking dips in the arctic sea, and running twenty miles in between, even with a broken rib, didn’t scare him, but facing his niece terrified the shit out of him.
After doing a load of laundry and nuking leftovers Rachael brought him, Blake stepped into his shower and thought about what he would even say to Natalie. According to his brother, she had a chip on her shoulder the size of Texas, and an attitude that topped Lucy’s when she first came to the family.
Blake didn’t do long talks and serious shit. He lightened the mood, flirted, and ran. Not something he could do in this situation. He thought about turning to liquid courage to help him through, but being drunk at a family event would only have his mother after his ass, and would not set a very good first impression for his newly discovered relative.
Hanging his head under the warm stream, he watched the water swirl around his toes as it made its way down the drain, washing away any decent ideas that came to him. Hell, he didn’t have a single decent idea.
He shut off the water and grabbed a towel from the rack, remembering the long hair he’d discovered a month ago. Getting another sudden case of the chills, he padded to his room and tugged on sweats before triple checking all his windows and doors.
And closets. And under the bed. Once the house was deemed clear and safe, he crashed on the couch and picked up the remote, channel surfing and finding nothing to watch.
He didn’t know why he was so freaked out about tomorrow. It wasn’t like he was the one who would have to live with Natalie and learn how to care for a teenager. It was Luke and Sage who’d have to do some quick learning on their feet. Granted, they had the best mentor in Doreen.
Only there was one other problem that could be even larger than a hormonal, depressed, angry teenager.
Alyssa.
Tonight would be Natalie’s first night at Luke and Sage’s. Would Alyssa be lurking in the shadows? Even if she was, Luke wouldn’t let her anywhere near Natalie or Sage.
Blake didn’t think Alyssa would hunt down his siblings, but it gave him comfort knowing Rachael had Jake, and his sisters-in-law had his brothers. Lucy, however, was all alone in her apartment.
He eyed his cell on the edge of the coffee table and picked it up, dialing his sister.
“Dude. It’s nine o’clock on a Saturday. Why are you calling me? Mackenzie dump your ass already?”
“Nice to talk to you too, Luce.”
“I’m busy. What do you want?”
“Never mind. You’re fine.” As if anyone could mess with the tough and arrogant Lucy Riley.
“What gives?”
“Am I catching you at a bad time or something?”
“I’m painting.”
“I’m impressed you answered the phone.”
“I wasn’t going to.”
In other words, she saw his name on caller ID and picked up out of worry. Blake turned off the TV and tossed the remote on the couch. “I’ll let you get back to your painting. Wouldn’t want to be responsible for a cranky artist.”
“Sorry. I know this has to be tough on you. Seriously, need me to come over? Paint your nails or something?”
Blake laughed. “I’m good. Thanks anyway.”
“Nervous about tomorrow?”
“Nah.”
“Liar.”
“Brat.”
“Go see your woman. You’ll feel better.”
“You’re my little sister. You shouldn’t be talking this way.”
“Dude. You don’t even wanna know.”
“You’re right. See you tomorrow. And Luce?”
“Yeah?”
“Go easy on her, okay?”
“Hell no. I’m finally not going to be the worst one in the family. I’m psyched to have another messed-up misfit around.”
“You’re twisted.”
“And you love me.”
“Yeah, I do. Go paint. Stay out of trouble. See you at noon.”
“Go get laid.”
Blake laughed as he disconnected the call and made his way to his bedroom. He was taking the early shift in the gym tomorrow and needed some sleep, not that it would come. Lying in bed, he picked up his cell and dialed Mackenzie.
“Blake?” Her voice sounded soft and warm against his ear.
“Did I wake you?”
“No. Just getting in from visiting my parents.”
“How’s your mom?”
He heard water running and a slight echo, most likely from her bathroom. He pictured her naked in the shower. Blake squirmed with the visual.
“She winksimen,” she said, sounding muffled.
“What?”
“Hanon. Ibrushingmyteef.” Blake listened carefully as heard her spit, gargle, and spit again. “Sorry about that. Trying to multi-task.”
“Oh yeah? Now what are you doing?”
“Taking my clothes off and getting ready for bed.”
Blake moaned and banged the back of his head against the wall. “You’re killing me.” He could continue with an amazing hour of phone sex, but she sounded tired after spending all day working then visiting her mother. “What did you say before about your mom?”
He listened to her small grunts and labored breathing as she moved around her room, most likely tossing back the covers and fluffing her pillows. “She thinks I’m ten. Talked about Miss Hall, my fifth grade teacher, and how I forgot to bring my spelling words home last week.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s better than when she’s in my teen years.”
“I bet you were an honor student. You and Maggie were friends and I doubt she’s ever been a rebel, not even for even a day.”
“True, but she stopped going to public school after…after her brother died. Mom didn’t care too much for my other high school friends.”
“Tell me the worst thing you’ve ever done.”
“Nuh-uh,” she laughed. “I’m a good girl, remember?”
Blake wished he was next to her so he could tickle it out of her. Or kiss it out. Maybe get her to scream it out in ecstasy.
“You tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine.”
“Oh, we’re going to play that game, are we?”
“Sweetheart, I have all sorts of games I want to play with you.”