Chapter Four
The weekend flew by in a whirlwind of sex and companionship. The ocean rejuvenated me, and I went back to work with much more optimism than when I’d left. Which lasted about thirty seconds. Nicholas had made it in long before me with an issue he had to take care of. As soon as I walked in, with barely a minute to spare because of traffic, he called me to his office.
“Fiona, can I have a word with you please?” The tone of his voice, so grating after the loving, caring, and yes, bossy man from the weekend, scared me.
“Of course, sir,” I replied, swallowing back the lump forming in my throat. Last time I’d called him sir, he’d been balls deep in me.
“Shut the door,” he ordered, his voice stern.
I did as told, taking an extra second as it clicked closed to find a calmness I didn’t feel. With head held high, I faced him. All that bravery came to nothing, because he stared out his window.
“You’re late.”
“No, I’m on time.”
I heard his sigh all the way from there. “There’s no time now. You need to go home. You’re suspended, with pay.”
“But—” I couldn’t grasp the words. My head span, and I had to grab the back of an office chair. “You said…” I couldn’t finish the sentence because tears had started their trek down my cheeks to the long, empty expanse of carpet under my feet.
“Security will escort you out.”
I scraped the tears off my face. I heard something in his tone which sounded like grief. Security? This had to be more than sleeping with him. Didn’t it?
Not only because of the armed escort though. I was never this wrong about someone. Was this the first time? “Why? Just tell me that. I deserve to know.”
“I can’t. Not yet. Security has already been called. I—” He took a step toward me, hand held out as if to reconcile with me, but fury ripped through me.
Whatever was happening, he wasn’t talking to me, except to tell me to get out, basically, and I refused to beg for an explanation. “I will be gone before they get here,” I interrupted angrily, wishing I had the courage to demand why. But what if my instincts had been off? What if it really was about the relationship? I spun on my heels before the tears which clogged my heart threatened to leak out and ruin my exit.
Security opened the door just as he said, “Wait, Fiona! I—"
So much for my glorious exit before security showed up. Still, I ignored them. I happened to see Kim, and she gave me a smirk of power which made no sense unless she’d talked Nicholas into firing me. I scowled at her. “I know what you said about the boss last week,” I said and watched the smirk leave her face along with most of the blood as she paled.
I turned on my heel, my back to her, and picked up the few things I didn’t want to leave in my desk for an indeterminate amount of time. Head held high, I went to the elevator and waited, never once glancing back, not allowing myself even a small hint of sadness and regret. I refused to check to see if he watched my exit. I had more pride than that.
The doors opened as the elevator pinged, and I stepped inside, security at my back. While hitting the button for the ground floor, I caught Nicholas’ eye. For a split second, I swear he appeared as hurt as I felt. Confused as hell, I nevertheless went home without trying to contact him to ask why. I refused. My pride wouldn’t let me.
I was the top executive he had, damn it, filling it at all levels of the business. I could fill in for an accountant even, as warranted. Our office was a one stop shop for the wealthy. We could invest their money into a diverse portfolio or put their money into land or rentals. There was even a legal department. Secretly, I thought Nicholas worked to become like a certain Irish hero in the popular series, but I never mentioned it.
Because of the nature of our business, he could, without explanation, put me on suspension for two weeks. Per contract, I’d be able to obtain a representative. I didn’t want to do any of that. My heart hurt too much to care at the moment. I’d worry about it later. I instead headed to Seattle, deciding to hit the Pacific Science Center.
I enjoyed myself, though tears kept trying to push their way out, and more than once, I had to control my breathing as my heart tried to break the rest of me as badly as it was broken. Every hour or so, he’d ring me, but I ignored him, not wanting him to know how much it hurt. I curled up into myself. Maybe tomorrow, I’d demand an explanation. Right now, I needed the time away from him and the hurt. I left the center early enough to beat the worst of the rush hour traffic.
Angrily, I threw my purse on the table by the door then headed to my room. Angry because part of me still trusted him, still wanted him. I just could not believe that he’d do this, that he didn’t feel for me what I felt for him. But that was hope talking. My heart rejected the idea that he would dismiss me so easily. My mind knew better. Dejectedly, I footed my heels off, and flopped back on my bed. Maybe I should have answered his calls. Maybe yelling at him would have eased this horrid feeling.
I stared at the ceiling, empty. Not even tears filled me anymore. Numb, nothing. I finally sat up and slumped my way to the bathroom and stripped down. I threw on an oversized tee and headed to the fridge. Double chocolate fudge in hand, I went back to my room and put on Bones. Maybe watching a little murder and mayhem would help.
My luck, it was an episode which brought me to tears even when I was perfectly happy. Tonight, it released all the pent-up emotions of the day, and like a dam bursting, I suddenly felt it all. Betrayal, love, loneliness, wishful, confusion, hurt, and a coldness of my being that I knew would take a long time to heal. One weekend, and he’d stolen that last bit of my heart I’d managed to hold back this past year while working for him.
And now, he’d thrown it away with no explanation. Guilt hit me as I thought of all the calls I ignored. No, I deserved an explanation in person. He could have done it this morning, not put me through a day like this.
Not even the ice cream helped. I’m afraid I ugly cried my way through a full episode. I gave up and turned off the TV and put the double chocolate fudge back in the freezer. Of course, that’s when the doorbell rang. I had a Kleenex in one hand and was wiping tears off my face with the other. I contemplated pretending I wasn’t home. I could think of only one person who was likely to be there right now.
“Fiona, please. Talk to me. I can explain.”
Thank all the gods he said that. My anger came to the front to help me build the barrier around my hurt as was my habit. I flung the door open. “Explain?” I said, fury and my recent crying jag lending my voice a deepness not normally present. “Explain how I have to leave with no explanation? Explain how, after a weekend of sex, where I put my trust in you as a Dom, you all but fire me? Or how about how you threatened to have security escort me out? Oh, wait, they did escort me out. What the hell? What ever did I do to you to deserve that?” Whereas I’d started like a fire breathing dragon, by the time I finished, I was a bawling mess. “I loved you. It’s not fair. I shouldn’t have to hurt like this.”
“Loved? So, not anymore? Not even enough to listen to me,” he asked quietly.
Again, I thought I heard grief in his voice, and that’s why, against my better judgment, I allowed him in. “Make it quick and make it good.”
“Someone broke into the system and stole money. Large amounts from the trust account. They used your computer to do it.”
All the blood that had rushed to my face during my episode now left my face. “What?” I whispered. Everything suddenly made sense. He couldn’t pretend he didn’t know. There was a real estate division of his business on the upper floor. The trust accounts going empty could cost him to lose everything. “I didn’t do it,” I said, allowing myself to meet his gaze for the first time.
“I know. That’s why I want to explain. I knew this morning.”
“Then…why did you let me believe…all day?” I swallowed back the tears. “I don’t understand.”
He took a step toward me, but I wasn’t ready to let it go yet and took my own step back. I saw pain slash his face, but I couldn’t help it. I’d spent all day hurting more than I knew a person could hurt. I needed more than a half ass he knew I didn’t steal from him.
“I couldn’t explain this morning. Between security and everyone on me, I had to let them see you upset. Whomever did it, went to a lot of trouble to make sure it appeared as if you’d done it. They don’t know I have everything time stamped. It’s backup in case of lawsuit, but if you’re logged in, the system knows. And it knows if you’ve been logged in for a long time with no usage. Everything is tracked and your login shutdown and automatically signed out.”
My interest was piqued. He had obviously gone to great lengths to know what was going on in his company. Who’d gone to greater lengths to set me up? Kim’s look flashed across my mind. I wouldn’t throw her under the bus, though, not without proof. Even if she deserved it.
“Before I tell you the rest, I want you to know that I knew, before any proof, you hadn’t done this. I knew immediately it was a set up. I swear this to you.”
My hurt feelings were somewhat mollified by his admission. “Then why?” I asked, the tears threatening again. I hadn’t cried this much since my grandma died.
“Because, someone went to a lot of trouble to make it appear as if you’d done it. I wanted to find out why and set a trap.”
“Why couldn’t you tell me?”
“Because, your face. You’re too honest. I wanted to tell you, to explain. I tried to call you, to meet with you outside the office, but you didn’t answer. I swear, it was only to make sure it appeared as if I believed you’d done it. I need time to catch the real culprit. Your face had to look as if I’d handed you your ass on a platter after having kicked it through the goal posts.”
Well, that was a colorful metaphor or whatever. “Well, you did do that. Security? Really?” I laughed and cried at the same time, blowing my nose in the midst of it.
I looked up in time to catch the ghost of smile on his face.
“I did say with pay, you know. That was supposed to be your clue,” he chided softly.
I froze for a moment, thinking about it. Yeah, technically, without pay was the standard for that sort of suspension. I had been too busy thinking along personal lines to think that one through. “I…I didn’t catch it. I understand now, though.”
“Do you? I hated the hurt on your face. As soon as I had a minute alone, I called you.”
“I couldn’t answer. I needed time.” I wished I had though. My stubbornness had interfered. And pride. I hated that he’d seen me hurting like that. If I’d answered and met with him as he’d wanted, I might not have had to spend the whole day feeling like I’d lost the best thing in my life.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s my stubborn pride. I should have known better after all this time of working with you. I let my hurt get in the way. I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be. Just, trust me now?”
“Funny thing is, I still trusted you on one level. I couldn’t believe you’d done it. I think that is part of why I couldn’t answer the phone. I didn’t want to face you if I turned out wrong about you, because part of me still trusted you, even after all that.”
You’re quite amazing,” he said then turned those intense eyes on me.
Fuck. I should have looked away while I still could. His eyes did things to my insides that made him impossible to resist, and I think he knew it. At least, they worked on me.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered then, and this time, when he stepped toward me, I didn’t move away. I didn’t shift closer either, but he came all the way to me and put his hands on my shoulders. “I had to put the techs on it and prove what I already knew. It couldn’t be me. Since it involves our trust account, I had to make sure there was no question of nepotism or favoritism, or anyway they could say I mucked about with things. I was trying to protect you, protect us.”
That made sense. I sighed. “It hurt. Deeply. In case you couldn’t tell by the signs of my ugly crying,” I replied, trying to joke as I always did, hiding behind it like a Viking with a shield.
Apparently, he wasn’t fooled by the joke. His hands slowly caressed my shoulders, and his eyes got this look which I tried to describe to myself, part pain, part love, part regret…wait, part love?
“I knew the second I asked you to shut the door that you were hurt. It’s why I had to pretend to not be paying attention. I couldn’t have followed through with it if I’d had to see it on your face. I already struggled with the pain I did see.” He raised a hand and caressed my cheek, and I found myself rubbing it into his palm and closing my eyes. “I’m so sorry. Please, forgive me.” He leaned in for a soft kiss, and my heart just melted.
It would take a while for that feeling of betrayal, for the hurt of going all day without knowing what was going on to heal, but I was more than willing to allow him to be the balm to my pain, more than willing to forgive him. He held the key to my heart, if he but knew it.
I kissed him back, tentatively, finding my place, unsure of my role anymore, despite his pleas of forgiveness. After a minute of the soft kissing, he deepened it, mating with my tongue, gently, but with more and more intensity. He pulled me into him, and though his erection pressed into my pelvic area, he didn’t seem in a hurry to go to sex.
He stopped the kiss and lifted his head just far enough to stare into my eyes. God, I wished he’d quit doing that. I’d do anything for him when he gazed at me like that. Our bodies were basically touching from knee to chest, but in that moment, it was if we were one.
“Am I forgiven,” he asked quietly.
My eyes filled with tears of relief. “Of course I do,” I whispered huskily. “How could I not? You own my heart.” Well, was that better or worse than admitting I love him when he never said it to me? Too long had I denied it to myself. I sighed. I didn’t care. My love was given freely, not only if he loved me back.
He stared at me for so long, I began to squirm. He was still turned on, and his nearness had its usual effect on me. But his intense stare had me nervous. “You really do love me, don’t you,” he said in wonder, as if he’d only just believed it right then.
In answer, I kissed him and then begged, “Please, make love to me. Make me forget, if only for a moment, the awfulness of today, the horrible pain of believing you were gone from my life. Make me forget it, please.”
He groaned and kissed me again in response. However, this one was hard, bruising. Then he stepped away and took my hand, leading me to the bedroom. Once there, I started to take off my clothes, but he stopped me with his hands. With no words, he knelt and began to lift my shirt which hung to my thighs. His lips caressed every bit of me as he pushed it up. I tingled everywhere he touched, my skin feeling like the shore that waves were crashing on.
As he made it to my chest, he stood, bending to suck my taught nipples in and giving them a quick nip. My breathing had long since gone to erratic and stayed there, and I know my juices had started dripping. More, my heart had started healing. He soon had my shirt off, having kissed my cheeks and forehead, and even a quick peck on the nose. Then he knelt again. I had put on cotton underwear when I changed. Somehow, he made them feel like the sexiest underwear ever as he pulled them down.
“I can smell your enticing scent,” he said while slowly sliding my undies down. “Smell your excitement for me, for my touch.”
My breath was captured by his unusual words. He normally didn’t speak much, especially during sex, except to boss me around, and here, it was as if he worshipped my body. I don’t think I’ve ever been this turned on in my life, and I could only whimper in response. My knees threatened to hold a mutiny and let me fall on my own as he kissed his way down my legs.
If I hadn’t loved the man before, I would have by the time he had me lying back in bed. He was gentle, touching, stroking, bringing me to completion before he even lay beside me. Once he lounged by me, he gently caressed my breasts, tweaking my nipples as he was wont to do. I was glad to feel that bit of roughness. I loved the gentle, but I hadn’t wanted to unman him with my anger. Well, maybe for a second when he’d mentioned security and every time I thought of it after. But not really. I wanted and loved him for him, bossy and all.
I decided to take matters into my own hands at that point. I sat up and lay across him, my lips making their way across his chest, to his nipples, then down to his pelvic area, where I kissed his inner thighs before licking my way up his erection. I held onto the base of him and then drew him in, all the way down, moaning in pleasure, relief, and anticipation. I watched him as I laved attention to his dick and loved how his eyes closed when I increased the speed of my up and down motion.
I wanted to prove to him he was forgiven, so I sucked and licked and tongued the tip for a long time. Then, when my pussy had clenched and warned me of the impending orgasm I was about to have, I straddled him and guided him inside me. As I slid down the length of him, it was my turn for my eyes to close as the sensation became greater than I could contain.
I experimented a few strokes and adjusted to the spot that felt the best, and then I rode him, slowly, sensuously. I held my breasts up as if offering them to a god, and to me, it was the same. I opened my eyes and caught him staring at my hands as if mesmerized. He brought his hands up to my breasts and fingered the tips into hard peaks.
I began to ride him faster as my climax started taking over my body. He grabbed my hips when my orgasm slammed me into immobility, and he rode me from underneath, taking charge of the pace, and I screamed as the wave of my lust hit harder. He went in even deeper than before, and my heart spilled over. I cried out, “I love you.”
“I love you, Fiona. God.” His hands on my hips clenched so hard, I knew I’d have bruises, and then he cried out. His orgasm triggered another in me. It was a long time before my aftershocks subsided enough I became coherent again. I simply collapsed on his chest, resting my head over his heart, finding comfort in its rhythm.
When I could move again, I rolled to the side, and he pulled me in, tightly for a moment, then back to comfortably. After the crying jab and coming like I was the ocean in high tide, my body was done. I drifted off to sleep, content in his arms.
The next morning, I got up with him. “So, I can’t go into work even though you know it wasn’t me?”
“No, not until we have this fixed. The time stamp is when you and I were in Long Beach having a late night drink. Whoever did this did not realize you were out of town. What would you usually have been doing around ten thirty on a Saturday night?”
I sighed. “Since meeting you? Sitting at home fantasizing about you and watching Netflix.”
I laughed as his eyes bugged out. “I’m sorry. Was that too honest?”
“No,” he said in a decided fashion. “Just makes me more determined. So, as far as the office knows, you’d normally not have an alibi, even if they suspected something had started between us, they can’t have known we’d have spent the night out of town.”
“Agreed.”
“If they find out, I’m afraid you’ll be hurt to cover it up even more. This was a huge amount of money. It alone would be worth killing for to a lot of criminals. I need to get to the bottom of this. Let me protect you. It is my job, both as your boss and especially as your Dom. For my sake, please, don’t let anyone but me into the house, ask who it is before answering the door, even for delivery. Which reminds me, don’t have anything delivered.”
I gaped at him. “You think someone wants to hurt me?”
“I’m sure of it. And possibly me now as well, for having slept with you.”
“I’ll stay home,” I said giving in. “But what about you?”
“I have security crawling the office all day and in the parking garage as well.”
“Please, be safe,” I implored. The idea of losing him so quickly after finding him…well, I already had a glimpse of how that would feel, and it would be ten times worse if he were dead.
“I will be careful,” he promised, holding me closer.
“Text me every half hour. Just something so I know you’re safe. Just an…N.”
“N for Nicholas,” he joked, his hand stroking my hair.
“No, n for nipples,” I said. His laughter swept over me, warming the coldness leftover from the awful day yesterday. “See, now you’ll remember,” I added.