Chapter 8
I caught a few hours' sleep at my desk, enough to tide me over, and although I spoke to Kira on the phone, I didn't see him until Wednesday.
Finally getting my head out of paperwork, I kept my usual Wednesday gym appointment. When I walked into that boxing room, thank God no one else was in there, because his smile was blinding.
I could tell he wanted to speak freely, or touch me, but considering where we were, he couldn't. "You look tired," he said quietly as he helped me strap my hands.
"I'm okay," I told him, tracing his fingers with mine.
I spoke so quiet only he could hear, "I'm sorry I haven't been around."
"It's okay," he answered with a smile. But then he tapped my hands and quickly tapped my cheek. "I'll get good payback for sleeping alone."
I laughed. "So every time I have to work late, you're gonna kick my ass in here?"
He grinned. "Something like that." He stood in the middle of the floor, stretched his neck, shook out his arms and bounced on his toes. "Come on, Detective. Give it your best shot."
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Just when I thought this was gonna hurt, he actually took it easy on me. We went through the usual one-two jab sequences, but he still habitually lifted his right foot, his kickboxing foot.
I stepped back and dropped my hands. "Teach me kickboxing."
His hands lowered, and he stood up straight.
"Why?"
"I want to learn."
"You're too tired today."
I knew he was taking it easy on me, because I hadn't slept. "Do you think the guys I track down care if I'm tired?"
He didn't answer, but he still looked hesitant.
"Do you think drug dealers give a shit if I don't sleep?" I asked him. "In fact, it's when I'm most vulnerable that I should know how to defend myself properly."
He glared at me. I think he might have even
growled, and I knew I'd won this one.
But fuck, he let me have it. We faced each other in mirrored stances, and showed me the basics. And little by little, he let fly, tapping my shin and thigh with his foot.
It fucking hurt.
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He was glorious. He was so damn fast… and fit. He barked instructions at me, and I had to admit, it was a bit of a turn-on.
I'd seen how commanding he could be in the
bedroom. I'd seen how he took charge. It was fucking hot.
But the burning sting of his foot connecting with my calf and thigh ruined any chance of this being arousing.
When I knocked on his door at ten that night, he leaned against his door and smiled at me. "How's the leg?"
I walked inside and toed off my shoes. "Sore, but thanks for asking."
He closed the door, leaned against it and his smile twisted into a pout. "I'm sorry."
I walked up to him, right up to him, pushed myself against him and kissed him, hard. He responded in kind, slipping his hand around my neck while his tongue invaded my mouth, and I just melted into him. I just fucking melted.
I couldn't explain it. It was foreign to me. It was a feeling I couldn't describe, being with him. Sure, it was desire and heat, and want and need, push and pull.
But it was something else.
Something I'd never really felt with anyone.
Safe.
I felt safe with him.
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When I was with him, in his arms, kissing him, feeling his hands touch every inch of me, I felt as though I'd found home.
He had me naked on his bed, after he'd made me come, and he was inspecting my leg and thigh where he kickboxed me earlier. He gently rubbed the reddened skin, trailing soft kisses in his wake, and it amazed me how he could be so lethal, yet so gentle.
When he was certain my leg was okay, he made me come again. This time he was inside me, every inch of him, pushing magic buttons to spark fireworks behind my eyes. I came so hard I swore it jellified my bones.
When I could finally open my eyes, he had cleaned us up and had wrapped himself completely around me.
I kissed his bare shoulder and smiled into his skin. I wriggled into him just a little bit more, and his arms tightened around me. I breathed in the smell of him, the smell of us, and fell back into sleep with a smile.
* * * *
I woke up to the bright California sun streaming through the window slats and a rather rude slap to my ass cheek.
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I groaned and grumbled some obscenity at him, but Kira just laughed. "Up you get, sleepyhead. It's seven o'clock."
I groaned again, just for good measure, but threw back the cover and dragged myself to the bathroom.
When I made it to the kitchen in a pair of his boxers, he was sitting at the bench, eating his breakfast. He looked at what I was wearing, then back up to my face.
"Help yourself to my clothes."
"I did."
He chuckled at me as I struggled to make myself coffee. "You should try a breakfast like mine."
I looked at what he was eating—granola, diced
fruit, and yogurt—and my stomach turned. I groaned.
"Mm-mm. Just coffee," my voice croaked.
He laughed at me again. He always found my
morning grumpiness amusing. But every morning without fail, he started the coffee machine for me before I got up.
I took a sip and could feel it breathing life into me on a cellular level.
"You drink too much caffeine," he told me.
"You eat too healthy."
He laughed, smiling beautifully.
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Then I remembered what I told Mitch the other
night. I hadn't seen Kira since then. Oh, hell… "Hey, babe?"
He looked up at me, startled at the term of
endearment. "Yes… babe?"
I couldn't help but smile, but I put my coffee down and looked at him. "Um, Mitch knows I'm seeing someone called Kira."
His smile died, and he put his spoon down. "Oh," he said, then cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable with the whole idea. "And…?"
"He thinks I'm secretly dating Keira Knightley."
Kira snorted. "I should be offended! I'm so much prettier than she is."
I smiled at him, but then I told him seriously, "I had to tell him. They know I'm seeing someone, and he's been really good about me not giving details. But then when it was just us, he asked me for a name." I took Kira's hand and gave it a squeeze. "I wasn't going to tell him, but he asked. I can't lie to him. He's my partner. I mean, I go to his house for barbeques and stuff, I know all about his girlfriend, Anna. He tells me everything." Kira was looking at our joined hands, but he wasn't saying anything. "Babe, I swear, that's all he knows. Just the name."
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Kira turned our hands over and gently squeezed my fingers. "Do you want to tell him about us?"
I blinked at his words, at what he was implying.
"Come out, you mean?"
Kira nodded. "Like you said, he's your partner. You shouldn't have secrets."
"I've never lied to him," I said quietly, defiantly.
"Hey." Kira quickly stood up and stepped in front of me. He lifted my chin, so I looked at him. "I know that. I didn't mean you were lying to him. I just meant that if you want to tell him, then I'll support you."
I smiled, though it was weak at best. "I know what you meant," I told him. "Thank you. But I'm not sure. It can't be undone. Once I tell him, I can't take it back."
Kira nodded. "I know."
He did know. He knew exactly what I meant.
"But you know him," Kira said seriously, looking me right in the eyes. "You trust him."
"With my life."
Kira nodded once. "How do you honestly think he'll react?"
I shrugged, hesitantly. "I'm not sure. He could be okay with it." I looked into Kira's dark, honest eyes. "But what if he's not? He's like a brother to me. I can't risk losing that."
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Kira pecked my lips and then pulled me against him. He sighed deeply. "I can't decide for you. But if you want to tell him, when the time is right, we'll deal with it then."
I smiled into his neck, amazed at the man in my arms. "Thank you."
We stood like that for a little while, in his kitchen, with our arms around each other. Then he asked, "Will I see you tonight?"
I pulled back and kissed his lips. "I gotta work. But I have a kickboxing lesson tomorrow night. Know of any cute instructors who are available?"
He smiled. "I'll have to check the roster… there might be someone cute…" he teased.
I grabbed his chin between my thumb and
forefinger. "I only want you."
He grinned spectacularly. "You better only want me."
I could feel myself blush when I told him, "Just you."
"Mmm," he sighed. "You haven't blushed for me in a while. I thought I was losing my touch."
I chuckled and of course, blushed again. He leaned in and kissed me soundly. "Matt?"
"Yeah?"
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"Just you, too."
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