It’s been three weeks since Charlotte’s visit. She hasn’t been back, probably thanks to Porter’s warning, but that hasn’t stopped her from calling every few days to talk about the baby and what a great father Porter is going to be to the baby and how much the baby is going to love Porter.
The baby. The baby. The baby.
Shit goes on and on.
Today is her sixteen-week appointment. Not even halfway through it and she’s doing everything within her power to suck Porter into her web.
This is going to be the fucking longest pregnancy in history.
“Fuck, I don’t want to do this.”
“I don’t want you to do this either. Mostly because it’s going to make her so damn happy but as the baby’s father, it’s the right thing to do.”
“I wish you’d go with me.”
That would go over like a turd in a punchbowl. “It doesn’t make sense for me to go. I’d have to sit in the waiting area while you go to the exam room with her.”
“You’re my support system. I want you there.”
“We both know she’ll throw a damn shit fit if I’m there. It’s not worth it.”
“Fuccck.” Porter kisses my mouth. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”
“We can when you get back. Take a long lunch if you want.”
“Yesss. I want that.”
He kisses my mouth again. “I’ll be back as soon as it’s over.”
“I’ll be here.” Working. I have plenty to keep me busy. But I’m not complaining. I need something to take my mind off the clusterfuck named Charlotte.
I busy myself with Lawrence’s new design series for a line that she and Lucas are planning to launch in the spring. I absolutely love working on Bohemian Cider Company’s artwork. Such fun designs with their cool hippie vibe.
I’m excited to see what Lawrence thinks of my ideas, so I give her a buzz. “Hey. I have some initial designs for the new line if you want to come over and have a look.”
“Will you be there in about thirty minutes?”
“Planning to be.”
“Okay. See you then.”
I’m glad Lawrence is coming. That will help to take my mind off Porter being with the pregnant clusterfuck.
I print off samples of my work and arrange them on Porter’s desk so we can use mine for a workspace. I smile when I see the framed photo of us on the shelf behind his chair. I’m so glad we no longer have to hide our relationship. Makes life so much easier.
I look up when I hear the light tap on the door. “Hey girl. Come in.”
I know the minute I see Lawrence that something is wrong. Her eyes and nose are red and swollen. “Goodness, I wouldn’t have bothered you if I’d known you were sick.”
“I’m not sick.”
“Everything okay?”
Tears swell in her lower lids. “I’m sorry. I thought I was done crying.”
I don’t know Lawrence incredibly well, but we’re on our way to becoming friends. “Is there something I can do?”
“No.”
I take her hand and tug. “Come sit.”
I take the seat beside her at Porter’s desk. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Nothing’s wrong per se. It’s just that Lucas and I are trying to have a baby, and I thought I was pregnant. But it turns out that I’m not.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Have you been trying for long?”
“Not long but we’ve already been told by doctors that it will probably take a while. It was silly of me to think it had already happened.”
“You never know. It could happen quickly.”
“It’s just very disappointing to think I was and then find out differently.”
See, this kind of thing pisses me off. You have a couple who wants to have a baby and either can’t or will go through problems achieving it, and then you have clusterfuck—supposedly on birth control—who gets pregnant during a one-night stand with a condom. Totally unfair.
She wipes her tears away. “I don’t need to fixate on that. I want to see your designs.”
Lawrence takes my mind off my baby problems, and I take her mind off hers. We’re still talking and laughing when Porter returns from clusterfuck’s doctor’s visit.
“Sounds like y’all are having a party in here.”
“Maybe.”
Porter goes to Lawrence and kisses the side of her face. “I haven’t seen you in a while. Whatcha been up to?”
“Not much. Just staying busy at the cider company.”
“Busy is always good for business.”
“You don’t have to tell me. I’m married to the numbers guy, remember?”
“Yeah. Tap loves to run numbers, especially when they equal dollars.”
Lawrence gets up. “I’ve gotta get going. I have a lunch date with my husband.”
Porter winks at me. “I’m ready for a little lunch myself. How ’bout you, baby?”
“I could eat.”
“Love the designs, Frankee. Give me a holler when you’re done with edits.”
“Will do.”
Lawrence smiles as she leaves, shutting the door behind her, and Porter pulls me into his arms. “I’m so fucking glad to be done with that.”
I hate to break it to him, but he’s not done. He’s just getting started.
“Was it horrible?”
“No. I’m just not sure why she insisted I go. They didn’t do anything but look at her.”
“They didn’t listen to the heartbeat?”
“Yeah, they did that and asked her some questions.”
“I’m sure she wanted you to hear the baby’s heartbeat.” That’s just one of the many ways she’s going to try to make Porter bond with this baby.
“I can’t believe she had me leave work for that. It was nothing but a waste of my time.”
“Aside from the appointment, how did seeing her go?”
He looks away and grunts.
“What?”
“She was sitting on the table waiting for the doctor to come in and she pulled up her shirt to show me her bump and told me to touch it.”
“Did you?”
“No. I’m not touching her.”
“Did anything else happen?”
“They scheduled her next appointment while we were there and she’s having an ultrasound to find out the baby’s gender. She wants me to come to that.”
“No surprise there.”
“I won’t go if you don’t want me to.”
“A father should be there for the ultrasound. That visit is important. But after that, I don’t think it’s necessary for you to go to regular appointments with her if everything is okay.” I don’t think most dads-to-be go to all of the appointments. I only see a couple of men in the waiting area with their wives or girlfriends when I go see my OB-GYN.
“I was hoping you would say I didn’t have to go to any more at all.”
“It’s not my decision to make.”
“I guess I’ll go to that one, but she can forget me coming to any more after that.”
“As long as it’s always your choice.” I won’t have clusterfuck blaming me for Porter missing any milestones in this baby’s life. If he does, it’ll be his decision.
“My choice is to get out of here and start our lunch break.”
“That would be my choice too.”
“I think I feel like fucking you on the kitchen counter today. And maybe I’ll lick peanut butter off your nipples. And jelly.”
“Well, you do enjoy a good PB&J.”
“I bet there’s never been a better PB&J than what I’d lick off your body.”
“Only one way to find out.”
* * *
Another month behind us and clusterfuck is at the halfway point of her pregnancy. It’s been easy to avoid her because she hasn’t come back to Porter’s condo. I’m grateful for that but her calls to him are coming more frequently.
He took them for the first couple weeks after her last appointment, but he’s had to resort to telling her only to call in the event of an emergency.
Everything is a fucking emergency.
She vomits and it’s an emergency.
She spots and it’s an emergency.
She farts and it’s an emergency.
But the one that takes the cake is her calling an ambulance because she said her water may have broken. Turned out she just has a nasty vagina and it was vaginal discharge coming out.
But she managed to get Porter out of bed with me to come to the hospital to check on her.
Today is her ultrasound to determine the baby’s gender. We haven’t discussed it, but the day is here now, and we’ve no choice but to talk about it. “Do you want a boy or a girl?”
“I don’t care.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Do what?”
“Act like you don’t care because you’re afraid I’ll be upset if you show some interest in your child.”
“I’m not acting.” He shakes his head and shrugs. “I don’t feel anything when I think about this baby. And then that makes me feel like a shitty person because I know I’m supposed to have some kind of bond or connection or feelings for my child. But I don’t.”
“You’re not a shitty person. The feelings will come when they come.”
“Maybe I don’t have the dad gene.”
I hate that he doubts himself. “I’ve seen you with Anna Cade and Bennett and Callan and Willow and Keeley. You sooo have the dad gene. It oozes out of you when you’re around children and makes my ovaries ache.”
“I love that your ovaries ache for me.”
“A lot of my stuff aches for you.”
“I love that too. I have ten minutes until I have to leave.”
“And?”
“Let me stick it in you.”
“Porter…”
“Come on, baby. Let me put it inside you. I’ll be fast.”
“Is the door locked?”
“It can be.”
“Lock it.”