I encounter an unpleasant image of Julian laughing with Shira, his large hands on the small of her back as he holds a glass of whiskey. Even the way he cradles that glass is sexy. It hurts to watch her reciprocate the intimacy between them by rubbing his arms. My muscles tighten when she places small kisses on his left cheek. Kisses that he accepts freely. With no one by my side, I walk over to the bar and ask for another glass of Basil Hayden. This must be my third or fourth? But who’s counting?

“I think you’re drinking your sorrows away, lovely.” The voice, smooth as the bourbon I’m about to drink.

It is Alistair by my side, whispering in my ear. A combination of whiskey and musk, his scent reminds me of his cousin. Turning around, the man I long for is still with his date. And it is at this moment that I don’t think I can survive tonight. I know Julian will keep his promise to her. He will fuck Shira tonight. He’ll probably fuck her so hard that I’ll be able to hear them. Suddenly, porn comes to mind. Will he be doing those things to her? I know he’ll fuck her in the room next to mine while I lie alone in bed miserable. Aroused and miserable. Bad combination. Jealousy overwhelms me, and instead of leaving, my new friend, Basil Hayden, has kept me company through the night giving me the courage to stay and flirt with Julian’s gorgeous cousin.

“Not at all. I’m just enjoying the party, and now, I am enjoying a handsome man’s company.” I bat my eyelashes innocently and continue to drink the delicious brown liquid. I don’t know what’s come over me. My hand has a mind of its own, caressing Alistair’s hand that he’s placed on the bar. I’ve never flirted with a man before. Why now? His blue eyes twinkle. It’s quite evident he has something more than conversation in mind. Staring at one another, I am met with the promise of a one-night stand. No doubt, he looks like he would be able to rock my world. If I were single, would I spend the night with this bad boy? His blue eyes are filled with desire as he continues to lick his full lips.

I bite my lower lip as I ponder the thought of me in bed with Alistair.

Nope, it will never happen.

He leans over, whispering, “Glad to know there is nothing between you and my cousin. It makes me hopeful about tonight.”

“Yes, we actually just reconnected a few days ago,” I respond, wondering why he’s wasting his time with me.

With his lips so close to my ear, he confesses, “I’d like to reconnect with you in a million ways.” His words are now slurred. And although he’s obviously drunk, I stupidly continue to flirt, knowing that flirting is as far as it will go with Alistair. It seems jealousy makes me flirtatious.

Moving closer, his lips brush my earlobe. His voice is no longer smooth when he reveals, “I can’t wait to taste every inch of you. I would love to have my head buried between your legs, lovely.”

My green eyes enlarge.

Licking his lips again, his next words surprise me. “Tell me, are you bare down there? No need to answer. I can only imagine how sweet your pussy must taste.”

My lips slowly part, and I still. My mouth, now half-open.

How do I respond to something like that? No one has ever been so forward and so direct. If I weren’t engaged and I didn’t have a crush on his cousin, would I dare to accept Alistair’s obvious desire to give me something I have always wanted? God, the thought of having an insanely hot man go down on me … excites me. Just last night, I masturbated to the image of me riding Julian’s face. I squirm a little. As I ponder the slut I’ve been hiding all these years, I realize the answer would still be no. I’ve never cheated on Andrew before. And although I’ve been fantasizing about another man, I will never cheat on my fiancé. Alistair is attractive. No, let me rephrase that. He’s insanely good-looking, but he doesn’t do anything to me. Nada. Okay, well, maybe a little something, but that could be attributed to my third or fourth glass of bourbon and his hot filthy words.

Something about him screams that he loves to eat pussy. I smile inwardly when I think Patti would love him.

“You’re a dish I would love to try.” His eyes are solely focused on my bosoms. I blush at his comment. And although I’m flirting with him, I didn’t prepare myself for his forwardness. I’m still unable to say anything and gulp what is left of my bourbon. I silently admire my nude stilettos before answering him. “Alistair, that … that.” My response is interrupted when a pair of large, black Hogan shoes appears only a few inches away from my Louboutins. Julian is now standing beside me.

“Alistair, Astrid would like to introduce you to an art dealer.” His stance is tall and commanding.

“What? Now?” Alistair asks in an irritated tone.

Julian is clearly annoyed with him as well. “Yes, now.”

Facing me, Alistair’s nose flares slightly. “I’ll return shortly, lovely. You smell delicious, and I’m still hungry.” I watch my admirer saunter his way through the party crowd, stopping a few times to chat with several beautiful women.

Alistair is definitely a playboy.

Gently grabbing my hand, Julian directs me to the nearest corner. In an angry tone, he asks, “Why are you flirting with Alistair?” I don’t answer, and suddenly, I’m upset. Moving closer, I can actually smell the whiskey on his breath. “Do you want to fuck him?”

If I were single, I’d beg you to fuck me.

Instead, with a calm voice, I deliver, “Julian, what kind of question is that? Why do you care? And where’s your friend? The one you’re going to fuck tonight.” I peek up and meet his angry eyes. “Why shouldn’t I have some fun?”

“Do. You. Want. To. Fuck. Him?” His gray-blue eyes are darkening. His beautiful mouth is drawn tight. I look down, and his hands ball tightly into a fist. “For Christ’s sake, just answer me,” he demands in a tone that excites me.

I cock my head slightly, biting the inside of my cheek. I stare at him a little too long, somewhat enjoying this side of him. A side I have never seen before.

Ooh, he’s jealous.

“Julian, for one, I don’t have to answer you. Two, I am engaged to a man I love. I’m not a cheater. Three, if I were single, I still wouldn’t sleep with him. I’m … I’m not a slut.”

Okay, in my head, I am a total slut.

While waiting for Julian to respond, a constant thought loops in my head ... I want to be your fucking slut, Julian.

“Lina, I didn’t say sleep with him, I said fuck.” A grin slowly forms, and it reaches his eyes. Hot damn, that mischievous stare of his is going to be the death of me. I glance down again, and his hands are no longer balled into a fist. His demeanor is relaxed. Yet his eyes reveal more. They’re so intense.

“I’m not blind. Alistair is hot, but I wouldn’t fuck him, okay? I can’t believe I’m having this conversation with you.” I can’t look at him anymore. The more he focuses on me with his seductive eyes, the more I want him.

This attraction is wrong.

“I’m sorry, Lina. I don’t know what came over me. When it comes to you, I’m just protective. Alistair is not worthy of you.”

“Julian, you seem to forget that I’ve got a few years on you.”

“That doesn’t matter. I’ll always protect you.”

Suddenly, I am reminded that although I know he means well, he wasn’t always there to protect me. He left me several years ago but a reminder of that is not going to do anything except make the situation awkward. Instead, I seek his beautiful face. I reach for his cheek, slightly touching his scar with my thumb. “No need to worry about me hooking up with your gorgeous cousin. That’s never going to happen. And thank you for caring.”

“Please don’t remind me how gorgeous you think Alistair is,” Julian says teasingly.

We stand only inches apart. In a surprisingly, comfortable silence, we watch everyone around us. Our fingers brush one another every now and then. Even with a few inches apart, I can feel this strange electricity between us. Damn that Basil Hayden. My eyes remain focused on everyone except the man who continues to dampen my underwear. From my peripheral vision, his eyes are fixed on me. Four jazz songs later, we’re interrupted when Roan and Helena Emerson approach us with cocktails in hand.

Julian embraces Helena and offers his hand to Roan. “I hope you two are enjoying yourselves.”

Helena glances my way, and it takes a few seconds for her to recognize me. “Evangelina! You’re all grown up and absolutely stunning.” She places both of her hands on my shoulders before embracing me. “I’m so happy to see you after all these years.” She looks over her husband. “Roan.”

Her husband suddenly embraces me as well. “I recognized her immediately during dinner. How are you? And what are you up to?”

The familiarity of the Emersons eases the tension I felt earlier. It allows me to focus on something other than the growing attraction for my childhood friend. I tell them about my career as a composer and my house in Santa Monica. At the same time, they both tell me that I need to see their daughter, Allegra. “She works and works. She has no love life, no social life, and it would be great for her to have a friend.” I ask about the rest of the Emerson clan, and with grief in their eyes, they mention their eldest daughter, Elizabeth. “She and our granddaughter, Mia, were in an accident a few years ago.”

I take Helena’s hand in mine before offering, “I’m saddened to hear that.”

A few minutes of awkwardness arises, and then Roan asks his wife for a dance. Before leaving, Helena retrieves her phone out of her clutch and types my contact number. “I’ll be in touch, and I hope you don’t mind if I give Allegra your number.”

“Please do. I would love to see her,” I say, before smiling at the thought of having a fellow New Yorker to hang out with in Santa Monica.

Once the Emersons leave our side, Julian whispers in my ear. “Uh. Uh. Uh. You and Allegra together.” His voice lowers. “That’s trouble.”

I look up at him, stupefied. “What are you talking about? I am soooo not trouble.”

Placing his hand on my hip, he brings me closer to him. “Oh, but you are.” What does he mean by that? The wetness between my legs makes me squirm. God, this underwear is useless. How is it possible just the nearness of him … his deep, rich voice … could have me so aroused? I’ve never thought of myself as highly sexual until a few days ago when I thought of the gorgeous man at the café who happens to be the man next to me.

My body and heart have different agendas. It takes me a few minutes to finally try to separate myself from the man next to me. Although I’m not a cheater, just the thought of begging Julian to carry me up to his bedroom frightens me. But his grip is strong, making it difficult to move away. And the truth is, I love the feel of his large hand on me.

I am not a cheater.

What would it feel like to straddle him, have his large hands grab my hips as I bounce up and down on his cock?

Stop. Stop. Stop.

I love Andrew.

Nothing’s wrong with being attracted to Julian as long as you don’t act on it, I tell myself.

Several minutes pass by in complete silence, and Alistair returns along with Shira. It becomes quite obvious Julian doesn’t like the interruption when he sneers.

“Mate, what’s your ... your problem?” Alistair asks. Mildly put, he is intoxicated. Cradling another glass of whiskey, he can barely stand.

Rather than help Alistair, Shira walks over to Julian, rubbing his arm. “This is so boring. Take me upstairs,” the whiny bitch begs.

No, take me, Julian. Take me. Fuck me.

Do whatever you want with me.

Rather than respond to Shira’s request, he simply ignores her. His attention is on me. He whispers on a sigh. “Lina, I’m sorry.” Turning his head, he studies Alistair, and it’s difficult to tell if he is disgusted or if he is mad. Shaking his date off, he moves closer to his intoxicated cousin. “You should go to bed, Alistair. You don’t look so good.”

Alistair looks my way. “Yes, I’ll be going to bed soon, and I pray that this lovely Evangelina will be accompanying me. I haven’t had my dessert yet.” He winks again, and I can’t help but feel a bit sorry for him.

What’s up with the constant winking?

Without hesitation, I respond to Alistair’s innuendos. “I don’t know about dessert, but of course, I’ll help you up to your room. I’m exhausted anyway, and I’ll be heading back to LA tomorrow.” I turn to Julian. “Thank you for today. I’ve had a wonderful weekend. Good night.” Although I would like to ignore the bitch, I don’t. “Good night, Shira.”

Before Julian can protest, I take Alistair’s arm in search of Marcel. Slightly turning my head again, my peripheral vision allows me another look at the man who has managed to unnerve me. He continues to stare at his drink, and the only word that he mutters is, “Fuck.”

A few minutes later, we find Marcel seated next to Roan, engrossed in a conversation. Peeking up, he asks that we join them.

“I would love to, but Alistair needs help.”

Assessing his nephew’s demeanor, Marcel nods his head. “Lina, I can have someone else escort him upstairs.”

I kiss Marcel on the cheek. “It’s fine. I’m tired as well. I had a wonderful time. Happy Birthday.”

Looking over at Alistair, Marcel shakes his head, not out of disgust, but instead, fondly. It is a gesture that reminds me of what I love about him. He accepts everyone regardless of his or her shortcomings. A slight chuckle escapes his lips, “Alistair, I’m happy you had a great time tonight.”

Julian’s drunken cousin is now leaning on me. “Happy… hap …py Birth … day.”

My former guardian’s eyes moisten, and he offers me a warm smile. Tenderly, he says, “Thank you for giving me the best birthday gift.” Taking my hand, he squeezes it lightly. “I love you, Evangelina.”