“Well, the help is certainly rude here.” Hayden took a sniff of her tea then crinkled her nose. “And this is disgusting.” She pushed the cup and saucer to the side. “Let’s go somewhere else.”

Hayden had been a lot more agreeable when she was naked and underneath me. Now, in the light of day with the edges of a hangover creeping into my head, she was less of a seductress and more of a pain in the ass. The sex had been average, and afterward, I’d felt lonelier than I had in the beginning. Then there was the feeling that I’d been unfaithful to Amy. I could hardly look at Hayden without guilt. I’d wanted to leave her house the second we’d finished fucking, but it had seemed wrong to walk out like that, so I’d invited her to breakfast.

“I know a great place on Third Street. Let’s go there,” Hayden said. When I didn’t respond right away, she snapped her fingers in front of my face. “Hey. Earth to Rhett.”

The swinging doors to the kitchen opened, and Bronte followed her sister into the breakfast area. Her eyes met mine. She looked down at the floor then back up at me. I didn’t know this girl, but I felt more of a connection with her than the one I’d had my dick in for half the night.

“No.” I cleared my throat. “I mean, I’m listening. Let me finish my coffee, and I’ll take you somewhere else.”

“Why don’t you get it to go?” Hayden followed my gaze to Bronte. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t keep my attention from wandering in her direction. “Is there something going on between you and that waitress?”

“What?” I shifted in my seat, uncomfortable and embarrassed at being caught.

Hayden’s expression tightened. She dropped a hand to my arm. “Look. You and I are obviously on different pages. I’m just going to go.” Her face fell like she was going to cry. Guilt washed over me. I had no idea how to deal with the situation. I’d been with Amy since college then married the rest of my adulthood. If this was the single life, I wanted nothing to do with it.

“Hold up.” I slid across the bench to follow her. “The least I can do is get you a cab.”

“It’s fine.” She turned and shook her head. “This isn’t your fault. I got taken in by your bedroom eyes and sad story. I’m such a sucker,” she muttered. “You’re obviously not over your wife yet.”

At the mention of Amy, a sharp pain sliced through my heart. Even after two years, her loss still hurt. The six patrons of the bistro turned to watch the exhibition with mouths opened and eyebrows raised. What would Amy make of this mess? I had a feeling she’d laugh and shake her head and make me smile with one of her wisecracks.

Hayden tried to pull the door open although the sign clearly read push. After a few seconds of clanging, I pushed the door for her. We walked to the curb in silence. I lifted a hand, waving down the first available taxi. I helped her inside and gave the driver a twenty. She stared straight ahead, arms crossed over her chest. My chest felt heavy, filled with lead, burdened by the ghosts of my past.

When I returned to the shop, the booth was cleared and my coffee had been transferred to my usual table. Bronte came out from the kitchen and made a straight line toward me. “I owe you and your girlfriend an apology. I’m so sorry,” she said. Without a stitch of makeup, her clear skin glowed in the mid-morning light. “Everything I think just comes right out of my mouth before I can stop it. I don’t have—what do you call it?” She scrunched her forehead before snapping her fingers. “A verbal filter. Mine’s missing.”

“It’s okay.” My appetite had disappeared. “She’s not my girlfriend.” A dull throbbing formed between my temples. “Don’t worry about it.”

“It’s not okay. I’m a shitty waitress.” She sank into the chair opposite me and tucked her order pad into the pocket of her apron. “Jo would have fired me a long time ago if I wasn’t her sister.”

“I doubt that.” The need to comfort her overwhelmed me. Instead, I fought to remain impassive. I didn’t want to feel anything but numb. “How much do I owe you?”

“Twelve-fifty.” She bit her bottom lip with even, white teeth while I fished in my wallet for some cash. “You make me nervous.”

“Me? Why?” I pressed the money into her hand, startled by her confession.

“You’re hot.” A crimson flush raced up her neck. She groaned and closed her eyes. “See? There I go again. I just can’t stop myself.”

Despite the throbbing between my temples and the fiasco of Hayden, I felt a chuckle rattle my chest. “I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

“You’ll have to excuse me. I’m going to go die now.” She fled through the swinging doors.

I watched her backside disappear before heading out to the street. Warm sunshine flooded the sidewalk. It was the time of year where the nights were freezing cold and the days pleasantly hot. I shoved both hands into my pants pockets and rattled the coins there. After a minute of indecision, I decided to walk back to my apartment. Fresh air and exercise always made me feel better. Before I reached the end of the street, my phone rang with a call from Carter.

“What’s up?” Having been friends for so long, we skipped the normal pleasantries and went straight to the important stuff.

“I got laid last night. Best fuck I’ve ever had.” Carter liked to brag about his conquests, especially in light of my celibacy. “Legs like a giraffe. Tits the size of grapefruit. How about you?”

“Fuck off.” I paused at the crosswalk long enough to let a car turn the corner then proceeded down Turner Avenue.

“Well? Did you or did you not shag that waitress?” Carter’s voice teemed with impatience. I grinned, enjoying his irritation. “If you blew her off, I will hunt you down and kick your ass.”

“Simmer down. Mission accomplished.” He hooted in the background. I shook my head at his enthusiasm. “We went for breakfast. I just put her in a cab. And for the record, it didn’t end well. I blame you.”

“Oh, Jesus. Breakfast?” I heard his eyes rolling through the phone. “Haven’t you learned anything from me? No breakfast. No phone call the next day. No promises. You should have set ground rules right upfront. Just do the deed and go your separate ways.”

“I’m no good at this.” The earlier feeling of unease began to creep back. The thought of fucking a woman and walking away made my insides shrivel. Unlike Carter, I wasn’t built that way. Not anymore. Not after Amy.

“We’ll try again. There’s a band playing at The Doorknob on Plum Street.”

“No. I’ve got shit to do tonight.” It was a total lie, but I needed time to process what I’d done.

“Hey, don’t overanalyze it.” His tone turned sympathetic. “The important thing here is that you got off the bench and onto the playing field. It’ll get easier. I promise.”

I didn’t believe him. As I stood in the middle of my apartment, everything reminded me of Amy. When I moved to Laurel Falls three months ago, I’d brought her with me, like she was still alive and living here. She’d chosen the furniture after our wedding, and I’d kept it, painting the apartment walls her favorite shade of blue. Her clothes filled half the closet. Perfume and cosmetics littered the vanity in our bedroom. The last grocery list she’d written was stuck to the refrigerator with a flower magnet, her magnet. She was everywhere.

Framed photos of us hung on the walls. I stared at our wedding photo into Amy’s eyes. “Don’t judge,” I muttered to the photo. “This is your fault. You left me here, and I have no idea how to deal with this shit.”

I couldn’t keep living like this. I had one foot in the past, one foot in the present. The dichotomy was tearing me apart, but I didn’t know how to move on. I wasn’t sure I wanted to.