Chapter Seventeen
For the next several hours, Eva lay in bed where Trask had left her, unmoving, staring at the wall as a steady stream of tears soaked her pillow. Slowly, she regained conscious use of her body, but rather than get up and find out what was happening, she closed her eyes. Exhausted and miserable, sleep still didn’t come.
The door whooshed open sometime later.
“Eva.”
Listlessly, she opened her eyes and saw Trask standing over her with a tray in his hands. When she didn’t react, he frowned. Until today, she hadn’t noticed he did it a lot.
“Get up. You must eat.”
She rolled to her side, turning her back to him. “Why do you care?”
“I don’t, but Kerr does, and I promised him I’d protect you. Once you’re back in his care, my duty is done.”
She twisted, looking at him over her shoulder. “He’s still alive? You made it sound like his condition was critical.”
“Last report, he is holding on. You’d better pray to your Maker it continues until our return.” He set the tray on the table beside the bed and left, barking over his shoulder as he went, “Eat. I’ll return in an hour.”
She didn’t—she couldn’t. Though she found solace in the fact Kerr still lived, she had no appetite. Nausea, plaguing her since leaving Primaria, wouldn’t allow it. And she was hot all over, the back of her neck especially. If she possessed the strength, she would have gone to the mirror to check, but she could hardly lift her head off the pillow. Maybe the weakness was a lingering effect of the paralytic gas. Curled on her side, miserable in mind and body, as well as sick with worry over Kerr, she stared at the blank wall, feeling hopeless.
***
When Trask returned, he was even more irritable and impatient, which she didn’t think was possible.
“Let’s go; we don’t have much time.”
“For what?
“Kerr needs his mate.”
A glimmer of hope sparked within her until the reality of her circumstance came flooding back. She was a prisoner, considered a traitor by both her shipmates and Kerr’s people. It was doubtful he would want to see her or accept anything she had to offer.
“Ask Zalina. I’m sure she’ll jump at the chance to do whatever she can for him.”
“Don’t be foolish.” He stood at her bedside once more, glowering down at her. “Will you walk, or must I carry you?”
Sheesh, he was surly; poor Lana.
Scowling, she rose to her feet.
The sudden change of position had her head spinning. Off balance, Eva staggered and fell into him. None to gently, Trask’s fingers curled around her arms. Once he had her steadied, he dropped his hands and moved back, as if being near her or touching her were abhorrent.
Crossing to her tray, he yanked off the lid. “Stubborn Earthling. You didn’t eat. Now, there is no time.” He stalked to the door, his face tight with strain, a little muscle jumping in his clenched jaw. Slowly, she followed, not daring to do otherwise considering his turbulent mood.
In the hall, when she didn’t move fast enough, although she was practically jogging to keep up with his long strides, he coiled his hand around her arm and helped her keep pace.
“Where are you taking me, anyway? To the whipping post in the public square?”
“Any punishment for your actions will be decided later. For now, I’m taking you to Kerr.”
“Is he furious?”
He didn’t answer.
“What about the others?”
“They will return as well and remain under guard until matched to one of our males.”
“And Eryn?”
“Her new mate will deal with her.”
“New mate?”
“Yes, Ram plans to go to Jarlan to be retested. It is obvious they haven’t bonded, and if the healer and the Council agree, she will go into the databank and be re-matched.”
Re-matched. Exactly what she’d been afraid of. Her throat tightened, and tears burned behind her eyes, as the hot flush which had plagued her for days returned to her skin, scalding her everywhere like a high fever.
“So much for maes eternium.” Barely audible, her voice came out in a suffocated whisper. “I’m sure Kerr regrets the day those words came out of his mouth.”
Halting in the middle of the corridor, Trask spun her around to face him, his expression clouded with rage. “Who would blame him?” he snapped. “Not only is he a warrior, he is our Princep. Honor and respect are his due. Can you fathom the blow to his pride? Do you hate him so much you’d risk both your lives to flee his arms and his bed?”
“I don’t hate him!” she shouted in an eruption of emotion. “I’m confused. Imagine being captured and held against your will in a world not your own. Wouldn’t you try to escape? And what do you mean risk his life? I didn’t put him in danger. I wasn’t part of this plan. They came for me when the wheels of this ill-fated plot were already in action.” She went up on her toes, daring, beyond all good reason, to challenge the huge, fuming general right to his face. “If Kerr is angry and wants to be rid of me, why take me back? I refuse to be unmatched only to be given to another, like Eryn. We are not whores, Trask, nor pawns in your games. We are free women. We have pride, too, and are also due honor and respect.”
He stared down at her, eyes narrowed. “What are you going on about? Didn’t Kerr explain anything to you about mates?”
“Of course, he did. And I’ve seen the changes in Lana, Thora’s, and the others. What does it have to do with him unmatching us and dumping me back into your mating pool?”
“Eva, he can’t ‘unmatch’ with you as you call it.” Some of the anger had gone from his voice. “The bond is for life.”
“Then how can Ram discard Eryn so easily?”
“That is an entirely different case. She resisted, fought him at every turn, and they have not bonded.”
Confused, she stared at him blankly. What he described was identical to her relationship with Kerr.
Releasing her, he stalked a few feet away, spearing his hands through his hair in frustration. “We don’t have time for this.”
She crossed her arms, feeling as frustrated as he looked. “Make time, General. Because you aren’t making any sense.”
Trask turned back, black brows arched in surprise. “Did you challenge Kerr this way?” He paused for half a heartbeat. “Never mind. Of course, you did. Thank the Maker I got a sweet, biddable mate in Lana.”
She tilted her head ever so slightly and glared up at him. “Is there a point to this?”
“When bonded mates are away from each other for any length of time, their bodies will react. Unpleasantly so. Don’t you feel it?”
She hesitated. “I’ve been feeling ill, I guess. I thought it was a response to being stunned by one of your weapons, or an adjustment to being back on the ship. But what has that got to do with anything? Like Ram and Eryn, Kerr and I didn’t bond.”
“This illness, do you feel feverish? Is your refusal to eat in response to your stomach being queasy? You are dizzy, which I suspect is accompanied by a headache. And, in addition to being withdrawn and moping about, you’re irritable, although that isn’t definitive since it’s not unusual for you, it seems.”
Her mouth dropped open. The crack about her moodiness aside, he’d described everything going on with her since leaving Primaria.
“We call it separation sickness, Eva, and you wouldn’t be experiencing it now if you hadn’t bonded with Kerr.”
She blinked as shock flew through her. “No, it can’t be.”
“It is. Although your symptoms aren’t severe.” Trask leveled his somber gaze on her. “Kerr hasn’t been as fortunate.”
“What do you mean?”
“He has progressed more rapidly through the phases than we would expect. Usually, the sickness has a slow onset, the symptoms vague. After a few days, a feeling of restlessness is accompanied by a yearning for the absent mate. A week in, it peaks, the need to be together intensifies to a craving, the body burns with fever, the skin feeling hot to the touch.”
She covered her burning cheeks with her hands, one curving to the back of her neck which was scalding.
“In the second week, weakness, depression, and, in extreme cases, a delirium will set in. Most mates recover in time. In the case of fated mates, if a reunion does not occur, both will perish.”
“Oh, my God!”
She shook her head, having a hard time accepting such a thing was possible. “What about you and Lana? Why aren’t you sick?”
“We have bonded, but we aren’t fated mates. A few days apart we can handle. It’s been two days since I’ve seen Lana, and I’m feeling a little edgy, which is another reason we need to hurry.”
“But it’s only been a few days,” she replied, the pitch of her voice rising sharply along with her concern. “Why is Kerr so sick, so soon?”
“We’re not sure.”
“What do you mean you’re not sure? This is bizarre.”
“Fated mates are rare. Meus eternium. You mentioned Kerr said this to you. They aren’t mere words to us, Eva. His mark upon you tells everyone the transformation is complete, and you are his one true mate. We rejoiced upon learning our Princep is one of the rare few who has found his perfect match. At the same time, we grieve it’s with a treacherous woman who would rather die than be with him.”
Eva locked eyes with him and focused on the one thing he said that didn’t wholly shred her already anguished heart. “What marking?”
He glared at her. “Don’t take me for a fool.”
She shook her head, staring at him blankly.
Growling, he dragged her along the hallway and into a room, ignoring the startled occupants. Before a mirror on the wall, he twisted her hair around his fist and angled her head to expose her neck. “That marking.”
She gasped in disbelief as she stared at Kerr’s mark recreated in intricate, identical detail on the back of her neck. Tentatively, she touched it. “How…? It wasn’t—” She looked at him beside her in the mirror. “I swear to you I didn’t know it was there. I stopped checking days ago.”
He released her hair and grabbed her hand, hauling her through the door and into the hallway. “We’re wasting time.”
“Wait. I didn’t know all of this. I didn’t know I’d transformed, and he certainly didn’t tell me if we were apart we’d get sick and die!”
Trask stopped and pulled her up onto her toes, his eyes blazing down at her. “Kerr is my closest friend, but, more so, he is like a brother. If he dies…”
“I don’t want that.” Tears filled her eyes. “Other than telling me I couldn’t go back, he didn’t tell me why.”
His grip on her arms lessened, and the muscle in his jaw stopped jumping, but the concern in his aquamarine eyes never diminished. “I was with Kerr during the entire hunt. The moment he saw you, he told me you were his. When you didn’t immediately feel the same pull made him question his instincts, but then the tests proved he was right. But he knew you were struggling to accept it and wanted to give you time to get to know him and want to be with him, too. Science, fate, chemistry aside, he loves you. It’s the only reason I can think of why he wasn’t clear on how this all works.”
“I didn’t know…” Her voice broke on a sob. “He never told me.”
“Hopefully, your realization hasn’t come too late. The separation was already taking its toll when we left to find you. The fever was upon him, and he was sweating buckets and couldn’t keep anything down. This is why he didn’t come after you himself and turn your defiant ass over his knee. I’m not sure why it isn’t affecting you as strongly, but he is Primarian and can’t escape it.”
“Jarlan. He can help, surely.”
“There is no cure for the sickness—except his mate. And considering how fast it came upon him, if you don’t get back to him soon—”
“He can’t die.” She didn’t wait for a response, grabbing his arm and doing the demanding for a change. “Take me to him, now.”
Without another word, he led her quickly through the halls of the ship and down to the lowest level, where the shuttles and teleporter were housed.
As they stood in the transport chamber, waiting as the technician plugged in the coordinates, she asked the question that had been nagging at her for some time.
“Trask.”
“What?”
“Anisa meo. It doesn’t translate.”
“Kerr said this to you?”
“Yes.”
“My love.”
Her body jerked. “Pardon?”
“It means ‘my love,’ in ancient Primarian. An archaic dialect seldom used anymore which is why it didn’t translate. “Your mate called you his love, Eva. What other proof do you need?”
She said no more for a moment, the burning at the back of her neck, the churning in her stomach, and the hot tears rolling down her cheeks enough to make her sick with regret and self-loathing.
“I didn’t know,” she repeated in a choked whisper. He’d told her often—anisa meo—she just hadn’t understood. “I don’t have golden eyes or bronze skin or black streaks in my hair like the others.”
“You have more. The strongest, unbreakable bond a male and female can have. You are one with your mate.”
“I need to be with him.”
“He needs that, too. So, let’s get you there.”
***
The transporter set them down in the receiving lounge of Kerr’s residence. Wall to wall, it was crowded with his people. As soon as they spotted her, the worry on their faces turned into angry scowls and glares of condemnation.
An elder stepped forward, blocking her path to the interior doors. She recognized him as one of the two she’d overheard in this very room, voicing his reservations about her as a mate for Kerr. It seems he was right.
“If the Princep’s condition weren’t critical, I’d take you straight to the Council.”
“Udo, this delay doesn’t help Max Kerr,” Trask stated sharply. “She is needed inside.”
“Now, perhaps, but she won’t escape judgment.” The elder’s eyes cut to her. “No matter the outcome, you will be punished for this betrayal.”
His words were harsh, his tone biting. Any other time, it would have had a chilling effect. But she couldn’t think of anything beyond getting to Kerr, and this man was in her way.
“I don’t care what you do to me, but you’re keeping me from Kerr.”
He didn’t move, and she, refusing to wait any longer, moved closer.
“I’m operating on zero sleep, and feverish from the separation. I’m sick, irritable, but most of all, I’m worried out of my mind about the man on the other side of that door. And since I’m already in deep trouble, I’m going to tell it like it is. Either step aside, now, or I’ll go around you, over you, or through you, whatever it takes, to get to him.”
There was a collective gasp from the onlookers behind her, but she didn’t care about them either, or Udo’s face turning red and mottled with outrage.
“I think you heard the Prima.” Trask’s long arm came out, shifting the shocked and sputtering Udo aside, and he guided her through the doors.
Inside, the main corridor was also full of people: physics, more elders, and many of the warriors who’d also taken human mates. Trask didn’t risk another confrontation and moved her quickly down the hall. Kerr’s Uncle Mordrun was leaning against the wall by their bedroom. As soon as he saw her, he rushed to her, grabbed her wrist, and pulled her inside.
Jarlan turned when they entered. “Thank the Maker. Take off your clothes; we don’t have much time.”
She heard him but couldn’t process what he’d said, too distraught over the sight of the Aylan, Valkerr, and a few others she didn’t recognize surrounding his bed like a death vigil.
Eva pressed closer, catching sight of him when the men shifted. Seeing the once-vibrant warrior lying motionless on the bed, his skin paler than the white sheets ice spread through her stomach and tears clogged her throat.
His breathing was shallow, and there were no signs he was responding to anyone or anything around him. Kerr wasn’t quiet and still, he was bold, vital, and larger than life. Trembling with fear, she gulped hard as hot tears rolled down her face.
“Eva,” the usually patient healer barked, making her glance up. “Your bond has been severely weakened while you’ve been apart. He needs you, now.”
His uncle and grandfather moved aside to let her in.
After taking the final two steps which brought her to Kerr’s side, she stared down at him, anguish piercing her heart. She wanted desperately to save him but had no idea what they were asking. “I don’t understand.”
“You need to reestablish your bond,” Jarlan explained. “Lie close to him, hold and touch him, the oils on your skin will help. You must renew your connection with him immediately. Saliva is good, but your mating fluids are even better. We can only pray it will save him at this late hour.”
Her eyes swept over his face, still handsome despite his pallor and unconsciousness, and down to his chest, straining to see it rise and fall. His breathing was so very shallow. Finally, she took in the rest of his motionless body. She frowned. When they joined, he’d made her come with his mouth, then again when he’d filled her. He had been very involved in the process.
“But how?” she asked.
“You’re a smart female,” Mordrun snapped. “Surely you can figure it out.”
Strip and share body fluids to wake him from a persistent coma. It seemed implausible but no more than a marking suddenly appearing on her neck. She had to break with her Earth-bound beliefs and have faith these Primarians knew how it all worked. Kerr’s life depended on it.
Looking up, she noticed Aylan and Valkerr’s watched her warily. It hurt, but she’d deal with it later. Right now, Kerr must be her sole focus.
Not caring several men encircled his bed, she began stripping. In uniform since getting back to the Odyssey, it meant losing her boots, flight suit, and panties, which would take seconds.
“Clear the room,” Aylan ordered when her zipper came down.
The others turned to leave, except Mordrun, who pointed at Trask. “I insist General Trask stay and protect him. She can’t be trusted.”
Already stripped bare, Eva ignored them. She lifted the sheet, and curled up to his side, running her hand up his chest to his darkly bearded jaw. Vaguely, she heard his angry kinsman add, “Watch her closely. If she doesn’t get to it, and quickly, we may need the Council to order extraordinary measures.”
She didn’t know what he meant, but it wouldn’t be necessary. If it were in her power to bring him back to her, she would do it willingly.
Easing on top of him, she straddled his hips so her sex cradled his dormant cock. It was one of the few times since she’d known him when he hadn’t been aroused in her presence, which was telling. She laid her belly atop his, pressing her breasts against his chest, skin to skin, as they’d said. He was on fire with fever. But he didn’t stir, not even when she slid her hands up his neck and cupped his jaw, kissing his lips gently.
Still nothing.
“Soft and tender won’t do it,” Trask told her from the door. “He needs you hungry and wet. Both your mouth and your cunt. He needs to feel you, taste you, feed from you. It’s the only way.”
“Kerr,” she sobbed, against his mouth. His lips were dry, so she licked them, her tongue dipping inside. She thought she felt him sigh. Spurred on by hope, she sealed her mouth with his as her hand slipped between her thighs. Her fingers probed the seam of her pussy, finding little moisture.
She made herself think back, remembering the many times he’d gotten her wet, sometimes from only a look and always from his touch. Whether from his fingers grazing her skin or rolling her nipples or sliding inside, preparing her for more. Or his lips and tongue, tenderly tasting and voraciously feasting on her mouth, breasts, and pussy. She thought of the time in the clinic where he’d bypassed a swab for a tube, confident he could so readily stir her juices.
And he had.
Even now, her memories stirred her arousal, as did the feel of his naked form against her own. In response, her fingertips became drenched with her fluids. Sliding them inside, coating them, she raised her hand to his lips painting them until they glistened with her essence.
Then she sealed her mouth over his and drove her tongue inside him. She did this repeatedly, sobbing when it didn’t help. She was too damn late.
“Ride his mouth, Eva. Direct contact is what he needs.”
Although what he asked should have shocked her, she nodded, not questioning anything at this point in her desperation. She scooted up his chest and planted her knees in his pillow on either side of his head. Then, she spread her lips with one hand while the other played with her clit.
“Come back to me, Kerr,” she begged in a ragged whisper.
Her sobbing pleas tore painfully from her chest as she worked her clit furiously, needing an orgasm more than ever.
“It’s working,” Trask observed. “Keep at it.”
She looked down, watching the splash of her tears on his face, two on his cheek, and another on an eyelid, holding her breath in desperate hope this would rouse him. But she closed her eyes in despair when he didn’t so much as flinch.
“How do you know?” she cried. “He didn’t move!”
“Because his cock is making a tent pole in the sheet,” Trask said, laughing with unabated joy. “Leave it to Kerr to prove he’s come back to life—with a hard-on.”
Though doubtful, she continued to work her clit, not daring to turn around and see if what Trask said was true, diligently making herself wet for the man who needed her so badly. She shuddered as the realization hit her. He was her mate, she loved him, and she wanted to be with him. Forever.
“Maes eternium,” she whispered as the thought of being in his arms, loving him, being loved by him, made her find her release. She trembled over him, her body convulsing as she came.
As her body calmed, she felt a butterfly flutter against her clit and hands palming her ass. Her eyes flew open, and she looked down between her splayed thighs. A sob of relief tore from her throat upon seeing his glorious golden eyes staring up at her. They stayed fixed on hers as he opened his mouth wider and latched onto her clit.
“Kerr,” she whispered, smiling through her tears. He didn’t let up, surprising her with his strength as he held her still, moved his tongue lower, and drove up inside her to drink deeply. Her body stirred instantly, her hands coming up to her breasts, rubbing her painfully tight nipples.
She didn’t turn when the door opened and shut behind her, or when a ripple of cheers drifted in from the hallway.
Writhing atop him, when another explosive wave of ecstasy washed over her, her head fell back, and she arched. Her hands reached behind her and curved around his ribs as she offered herself without reservation, surrendering everything while he took what he needed.
He kept at her, lips and tongue busily licking and lapping until his strength waned and his hands fell away.
“Kerr?” She sat up, concerned, ready to call for help.
“Come down here, mate,” he managed, his voice a raspy growl. She moved back, straddling his waist as she leaned over him, her hands cradling her beloved face.
Her lips brushed his as she breathed out in relief. “You scared me. I thought you might have relapsed.”
“Eva…” His voice was little more than a croak.
“Shh, we can talk when you’re stronger.”
“No, it must be said.”
Pulling back only enough to see his face, she saw his eyes were bright with the fever and an urgent intensity. “Across the galaxies, you came to me, my one perfect female in the whole vast universe. I’ve waited for you, and when I found you, I could think of nothing except claiming you. But to make you so unhappy…” He swallowed.
“Kerr, no—”
He shook his head, his hand in her hair staying her words. “I wouldn’t keep you if there was any other way. I love you enough to let you go, but I can’t let you die from that love either. We cannot deny we need each other. If I don’t kiss you, taste you, and have you every day, it will be like going without food or water. In the end, we would perish. I’m sorry, sprite.”
Tears welled up, and his image wavered through her tears. “I’m the one who is sorry. Had I known, I’d never… I no longer want to leave, Kerr. I want to stay.”
He retained enough strength to fist his hand in her hair and pulled her head back. His eyes searched hers for the truth. “You’re certain?”
“Never more so. I swear.” She lowered her mouth to his, tasting herself strongly, as well as the salt of her tears. “I love you, too,” she breathed out in a shuddering breath.
He didn’t reply, his hand having gone lax in her hair, his mouth softened in sleep, and she couldn’t be certain he’d heard her.
She slid off him, pulled the sheet over them both, and plastered her body to his side. With her head on his chest, an arm around his waist, and her leg curled over his thigh, she encircled him, holding him tight while he slept. As his steady heartbeat thumped in her ear, a sob of happiness escaped her lips, and she whispered a prayer of thanks.