Byron shut the door of our bedroom, closing us away from the world—our safe place that was no longer safe.

Renee and a friend were down the hall in her bedroom doing homework and listening to music. Normally, I might tell them to turn the music down, but at present, the loud tunes were a barrier keeping Byron’s and my conversation private.

While the January wind blew snow through the air outside of our home, ice ran through my veins. I walked to the window and closed the curtains, no longer confident of our safety or security.

It was no longer veiled threats, but outright warnings.

Our voices were hushed yet urgent.

“It’s come. I know it. We have to move now,” I said.

His eyes shut. “I can try to talk to him.”

“You’re dead.” Neal was dead. “You’ve been telling me that for years. What makes you think Allister Sparrow will talk to you now?”

Byron reached for my shoulders. “We won’t let them have her—won’t let him.”

My eyes closed at the reality of my biggest fear—greatest nightmare—coming true. “The call said...” I swallowed back the bile bubbling in my gut. “...her birth father lied. He was found dead. Story is that he hanged himself. The man on the phone said her time is up and to await instructions.” Tears over spilled my gray eyes as I tried unsuccessfully to rein in the fear and frustration. “We’ve done everything he asked. We’ve complied and now he knows where we are, where you work, where she goes to school. He knows everything. We complied and by doing so, played into his hand.”

“He doesn’t know everything,” Byron said.

“What do you mean?”

“I told you from the beginning that I’ve been planning and saving. We could...disappear.”

“All three of us?”

He nodded.

I let out a breath and sank to the edge of the bed. “Will it be safe for her?”

“I made a connection. He’s not through the outfit. He’s not through any outfit. He’s from Boeing. He makes extra money with government contracts and well, he knows things, how to make things look legit. He can help.”

I shook my head. “I’m so tired of lying. I want to go away...” I looked up. “...maybe Washington state or Montana, somewhere remote, somewhere without crime.”

“Baby, that place doesn’t exist.”

“We have to get out of Chicago,” I pleaded.

“If you think all three of us can get into a car, plane, or train and disappear into the sunset, I’m afraid you’re wrong.”

I looked up at my husband, really seeing what the last sixteen years had done to him, how they’d aged him. The lines in his face were deeper. His back slouched, rounding what was once proud, the physical result of carrying the burden of our deceptions.

“But you said the three—”

“This man,” Byron interrupted, “I’ve told him some of our needs, not all. He thinks the best chance for Renee is to separate from us. Sparrow will be looking for three of us, not one.”

My breath caught in my chest. “No. I can’t do that. I can’t. She’s sixteen years old. What will we do, leave her? I couldn’t...” I stood. “...I won’t.” I recalled the veiled threats from the recurring visits by that man—the census taker and track meet spectator. “Byron, you know what will happen to her if they find her. You know.” I laid my hand on the front of his shirt. “In here. In your heart, you know. I would die before I allowed her into that life. If Sparrow is upset with her birth father, he’s not above taking it out on her.”

Byron’s jaw set as his stare disappeared for a moment behind closed eyes. When his eyes opened, he made a declaration I never expected.

“I have to die in her place.”

I gasped, taking a step back. “What? No. I don’t want to lose either of you.”

He shook his head. “Listen, Josey. There’s a plan. We can’t all travel together. According to my resource, he suggested making a clean break. I will die—disappear first.”

“Are you leaving us?”

“Hell no. I’ll go ahead and get something set up for us. My contact can help. If Sparrow believes it, maybe it will satisfy him, stop him from looking.”

I paced, turning every few steps like a caged animal. “And then what?”

Byron went to the closet and pushed over the sliding door. Inside were years and years of life’s accumulations: clothes that no longer fit, shoes no longer in style, as well as boxes of pictures chronicling our happy family. From under a stack of shoe boxes, he retrieved a manila envelope, one I couldn’t recall seeing before.

He handed it my direction.

“What is this?” I asked, not sure I wanted to know.

“It contains fake identifications for all three of us.”

Untucking the lip of the envelope, I dumped the contents from within onto the cover of our bed. Birth certificates, passports, and four IDs became visible. I reached for one with Renee’s picture and then another. “Why does she have two?”

“Because she’s sixteen. Some airlines will allow her to fly alone, but not all. He said it was a safety net.”

I read the name: Kennedy Hawkins. The reality hit me like a punch to my gut, a momentary loss of air as dread flowed through my body. “I-I can’t...” I picked up the one with my picture. “Why are our names different?”

Byron reached for my hands and directed me to sit on the bed. “It’s her best and possibly only chance. Sparrow’s influence is far-reaching. We saw that years ago when I tried to get employment in other states. If he wants to find us, he will. We have few options. Separating, letting Renee go, will make her less of a target. He’ll be looking for all three of us. He knows how much we care for her. He’d never suspect that we’d separate.”

“I-I...” Words were hard to form. “But I do love her. You love her.” I searched his eyes. “Tell me you do. Tell me this hasn’t all been an act.”

“Josey, I fucking love her more than if she were our own. We’ve always known she wasn’t. We’ve always known this could happen.”

“So we...” Standing, I turned circles. “...what? Put her on a plane and never see her again? How does she live? How does she survive? What if they find her?”

“I told you that I’ve been saving money. I’ve accumulated enough to keep her in a good private school through high school, and if she chooses a state school or gets scholarships, it will cover most of her tuition and board through her undergraduate years. We always wanted her to go to college. I’m not saying it’s ideal. I’m saying that this is the best way to hide her from Sparrow. I’ve researched private schools. I found one that if they can be convinced that through the death of her parents, arrangements were set for her emancipation, they’ll allow her to stay there.”

I let out a long sigh. “What about us?”

He sighed. “Giving all of that money to her won’t leave us with much, but I think I have a solution.”

My head was pounding. He wanted to send Renee away. He wanted to give her all we’ve saved, yet he thought he had a solution. “What?”

“That’s what I need to go ahead and check out. There’s a community in Maine.” He forced a smile. “You said you wanted remote. This place is completely off the grid. No telephones. No internet. No cell phones. Nothing. They help people who need help and everyone works together to keep the community self-sufficient. It will be a place where we can disappear.”

My eyes grew wide, staring at my husband as if he were someone I’d never met. “You want to go to a what? A commune? A cult? And send Renee to a private boarding school where we won’t be able to reach or contact her?”

“Josey, I want all three of us to live to see tomorrow. I don’t want Renee living in a commune. I want her to have a life, for her to have a chance at a life. I want to wake up next to you for the next thirty years and not share a shallow grave. That’s what I want.”