Things got better after the conversation. Or at least, they seemed to. A couple more weeks went by and Bobby stared to settle a little more. There was still some tension in the household, largely thanks to the fact that Bobby was, to all intents and purposes, an ex - an ex who seemed pretty intent on not being an ex sometimes.

“He was mine you know,” Bobby said one evening. He liked to needle Damien.

“Mhm, and now he’s mine,” Damien said, putting his hand on Mark’s knee.

Bobby’s eyes narrowed with real jealousy. Mark really wished Damien wouldn’t do that.

“I bet you don’t suck his dick as well as I did.”

Damien chuckled. “I don’t suck dick at all.”

“Oh,” Bobby grinned. “So you’re bottoming permanently now, Mark?”

Truth was, Damien and Mark had been going through a bit of a dry spot. Their initial relief at being reunited and the rush of first passion had evaporated. Damien thought it was because Mark was trying to adjust, but truth was, it had more to do with the fact that Damien wasn’t Angelo. Angelo had ruined him for other men, made vanilla sex feel pointless.

“Cut it out,” Damien said with a smile.

“Why? He likes his dick being sucked.” Bobby ran his tongue around his lips in a lascivious fashion.

Damien reached out and clipped him lightly around the ear.

“Didn’t hurt,” Bobby smirked.

“I know, it’s not meant to.”

Bobby’s face fell.

“You’re a fucking assassin. You shot Angelo. Why won’t you hurt me?”

“Angelo was a bad man. He deserved it. You’re not.”

“Yes, I do! I’m fucked up. I’m evil!”

“Nope.” Damien shook his head “Not even close.”

“You don’t even know me,” Bobby snarled. “You don’t know the things I did, long before Angelo got me. I had guys killed all the time. Some girls too. I didn’t give a fuck then, and I don’t give a fuck now.”

“Except you did and you do. That’s why you let Angelo punish you so hard. You think you deserve it. You’ve been hurt enough, Bobby. It’s time to start healing.”

“No!” There was anguish in Bobby’s voice. It was more painful to contemplate a future free of hurt than it was to move toward the possibility that he could have the good things in life.

Mark had tears in his eyes, watching Damien deal with Bobby. In many ways, Mark had been just as much to blame for Bobby’s condition as Angelo had. At the time, it had been the only way to deal with the situation. Bobby was dangerous, and keeping him at heel was one way to neutralize the threat he posed.

But when Damien handled him, Bobby didn’t seem dangerous anymore. He just seemed lost and confused.

When they got to bed a little while later, Mark wrapped his arms around Damien’s waist and pressed a passionate kiss to his lips.

“I fucking love you,” he growled in Damien’s ear.

Damien smiled. “And I love you. You know Bobby’s not the only one who needs to get better, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you were stuck there for a year too.”

“I know. I haven’t forgotten.”

“I think you have. I think you’ve been looking after Bobby so you don’t have to look after yourself, or face what you did and what was done to you.”

“I’m fine,” Mark insisted. He really was fine. Sure, Angelo haunted his dreams, and more often than not the morning wood he woke with was a direct result of the dark doings in that space, but that was to be expected.

“You, are not fine,” Damien said, his dark brow arched.

“Okay, fine,” Mark relented. “Everything Bobby says, it’s like it could come out of my mouth. I hate that asshole, but I miss him. He was everything to us. He made himself the center of our worlds, and we both know that he’s not really gone. We won’t be free of him until he’s dead.”

“And you don’t actually want him dead,” Damien said softly, running his fingers through Mark’s hair. “Because you still love him.”

“I don’t…”

“You don’t have to deny it, Mark. I can see it. I can feel it. And it’s okay. I know it’s going to take some time. You’ve got all the time in the world.”

Mark had never felt so guilty in all his life. Not when he’d betrayed the FBI, not when he’d betrayed Angelo, not when he’d been sneaking around sucking dick in the military. This was the worst thing he’d ever done, bar none. Damien was a genuinely good man, and Mark was still in love with a monster.