Quarterback's Secret Baby (A Secret Baby Sports Romance) by Ivy Jordan (1)

By Ivy Jordan

 

This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writer's imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental.

 

Copyright © 2018 Ivy Jordan

 

 

 

 

Chapter 1

Cade

Three Years Ago

Involuntarily, my eyes squeeze shut. Maybe when I open them, I’ll be alone again.

Wishful thinking in an NFL weight room, I think.

Opening my eyes again, I grunt out a greeting at two of my younger teammates as I adjust my position, a baggie of ice wrapped in an ace bandage around my shoulder. Jake Austin and Malcolm Green are chatting excitedly about the Super Bowl, and I want nothing more than for the room to open up and swallow me whole.

Don't get me wrong. Playing pro football is a hell of a way to make a living. And, I've made a damn good living doing it. Everyone knows who I am. Cade Thomas is household name even in households that don't watch football. I'm the face parents want their daughters to bring home, the man other guys wish they could be, and every woman's fantasy.

I’ve got more endorsement deals than any athlete in any of the major sporting leagues. Name a record... I’ve set it. I've led my team to more Super Bowl s than any other quarterback. In another week, I’ll be playing in another one, and yeah, we’ll probably win and you can add it to the lengthy list of accomplishments I’ve managed to compile.

Doesn’t mean my life is fulfilled, though.

Putting on a smile, I try to get caught up in the two second-year pros’ excitement.

Jake is spotting Malcolm as he works through a rep of bench presses when I walk over.

“Dude,” Jake starts, “I can’t believe we’re going to the Super Bowl. I dreamed about this since I was a kid.”

“Yeah, how long ago was that, two years?” I teased him good naturedly. At thirty-eight, I know I’m nearing my end, that there’s no guarantee for another season. But Jake, he’s just getting started.

“What’s it like?” Malcolm asks, sitting up on the bench.

I look between the two of them. They each played for rival schools in college and came into their first training camp with old, bitter memories that had them thinking they were enemies. Now they were best friends, like brothers.

“It’s the best feeling in the world,” I admit. “Nothing else like it.”

“We’re gonna get so much tail,” Jake says, exchanging a high five with Malcolm.

“There’s more to life than just good tail,” I point out.

“Sure, there’s bad tail, too,” Malcolm laughs.

I shake my head, but the truth is, there isn't anything other than good tail in my life, either, and the thought nags at me. I push it aside as the two rookies continue talking.

“I hope I catch the winning pass,” Jake says aloud. “Not only will there be tons of women wanting to get with the hero, but the money will roll in, right, Cade?”

I shrug. “The endorsements are a definite plus. A big, fat paycheck for a few hours of your life to show up and tell people to buy an energy drink ain't a bad way to make a buck.”

“How many endorsements did you get after your first Super Bowl win?” Malcolm asked.

“Three or four small deals, I guess, but I landed my Under Armour deal after that win,” I tell them. “I've been set for life since I signed that.”

“Man, I hope I get a deal like that one day,” Malcolm says.

“You will after we win this game,” Jake tells him. “We’ve been money all year, right, Cade?”

The team has been on fire all season, I think to myself. We have not only one of the best offensive lines that’s been seen in years, but our defensive line as just as impressive. We’ve been nearly unstoppable.

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself,” I offer as advice. “Keep with it one play at a time and everything will happen just like coach says, you know? If you get too far ahead of yourself, then you set yourself up to fail... But yeah, we got this in the bag.”

They’re both still laughing as I leave the weight room and head for the locker room. Discarding the bag of pretty much melted ice in the trash, I get dressed and grab my things to head out. I wave to a couple trainers and security staff on my way to the parking lot and climb into my matte black Ford F-150 pickup truck. Lots of guys have expensive SUVs and sports cars, but I don’t need a flashy car.

Playing for the Los Angeles Condors has been the best thing about my life for a long time. It’s the team that drafted me, it’s been the team I’ve won with. I really don't have any doubts about winning again this year, either. We are truly the best team this season, one of the best the NFL has ever seen.

But something doesn't feel the same anymore.

I’m still on top of my game, and yeah, going to the Super Bowl is a big deal – but I’ve already got more rings than I do fingers on my left hand. Three years ago, we went to the Super Bowl as underdogs. Three years ago, no one thought we’d make the playoffs. We scraped our way through the season, barely making playoffs as a wild card. Every week, I made it my own personal goal to win that week, and we steamrolled through the competition. When we won our conference championship, my goal became setting the record for number of Super Bowl wins. It ended up being my easiest win to date.

Now, looking back on a career I knew was slowing down, I wondered what I was really living for anymore. I had had it all, and then some. But I didn’t have anyone to share it with. Sure, I had a girlfriend, but did I love her? Not particularly. I didn't even have a best friend. I had fame, fortune, and football. But not love, or friendship, or hell, even a family.

Waiting on traffic to turn out of the parking lot, I lean my head back with a sigh. Maybe I didn't have it all. Maybe I've been wrong. Because what kind of life is a life with no meaning?

 

 

Chapter 2

Serena

Physics is not a subject that most people find interesting or even fun. I know that. For me, though? It's my life. I love everything about it, and more than that, I love sharing it with others and connecting with them.

Which is why I fought so hard for this class this semester.

Physics at the Movies was my first real chance that let me connect with the students about science in the real world. Science education and outreach is my passion, and while I really want to be able to do this with younger kids, I'll settle for these college kids for now.

In my office, I pause from reading the first papers of the semester, and flick off the music playing in the background when I hear a knock at my door.

“Come in!” I call out.

A blonde girl from my Intro to Astrophysics class walks in with a tentative smile. I smile warmly. “How can I help you?”

“Ms. Jacobs, I was wondering if you could explain stellar evolution to me again? I'm not sure I've got it...” she trailed off.

I gestured towards the chair across from me. “Tell me your name again. I'm afraid I'm having a terrible time remembering everyone just yet.”

“It's Susan, Susan Cooper.”

“Well, Susan, tell me what is stellar evolution.”

“It's the lifetime of a star, how it changes over time.”

“And, how long is that time?”

“Every star is different. It could be a few million years, or a few trillion years.”

“And, how do we know this?”

“By studying numerous stars at varying points of their lifespan and by simulating models on a computer.”

I nod. “I think you know this better than you realize, Susan.”

“Thank you, Ms. Jacobs,” she sighs. “You're the best teacher in the science department.”

“That is kind of you to say.”

“I mean it. No one else takes the time to explain things the way you do and make it fun. I love science, but you make me love it more.”

“Thank you, Susan. Are there any other questions I can answer for you?”

She shakes her head and stands. “No, I'm good. Thanks for your time.”

“My door is always open,” I tell her as I stand walk towards the door with her. She smiles and waves goodbye and I stand in the doorway a minute. I am just about to close the door when I see a fellow professor heading right towards me.

I stifle a groan and force myself to not roll my eyes. Benjamin MacIntosh is the head of the science department, single, attractive, and a few years older than me. A number of the single female professors want to date him, an equally high number of the co-eds, too, and he's got his sights set on me.

I am not at all interested.

Besides the fact that I'm not attracted to him, I have no desire to date someone I work with. I want more than someone I have stuff in common with. I want a spark with someone. I want to feel the passion starting in my toes and coursing through my entire body.

Benjamin MacIntosh does none of that for me.

“Serena, I was just thinking about you,” he starts, leaning in to kiss one of my cheeks and then the other.

I smile although on the inside I want to gag. “What can I do for you today, Ben?”

“Everyone in the department is getting together for a Super Bowl party at my place. The Condors are playing again this year, so it's a pretty big deal. I wanted to invite you personally.”

I had never heard of the Condors. Sports had never been my thing, but I played along. “When is it again?”

“A week from Sunday.”

“I'd love to come, but I have plans with sister. She has a painting in a show that night.”

Benjamin’s smile falters. “Oh, well, if you change your mind, I'll text you the address. Just in case.”

“Just in case,” I humor him. “If you'll excuse me, though, I have some papers to read.”

“Of course. I'll see you soon.”

I wave and disappear inside my office, leaning against the closed door with a sigh. Crossing to my desk, I push the papers aside and flip open my laptop. I mean, I know the Super Bowl is football, but I'm not interested in learning more. Knowing what sport someone is referring to when I hear talk over the next few weeks so I don't look completely clueless is enough.

I click until I get to my email. There’s a notification about new messages on a dating profile I made a few weeks ago when I was home alone with a bottle of wine. Okay. Fine. Two bottles of wine.

I login to the site and click through to the messages. The first few ask for nudes. Delete. The next one is a picture of the sender’s penis. Classy. Delete again. There are three more messages deleted in quick succession. Clicking to my profile, I change a couple of things. If this is what men are like these days, my love life just might be a lost cause.

Looking at the clock and realizing I have a class to teach in ten minutes, I save my profile and close my computer. Collecting my things, I shove everything in my bag.

If it's meant to be, it'll be, I tell myself as I hurry to my next class.

 

 

Chapter 3

Cade

I drape a towel over my head and inhale deeply to gather myself. The third quarter is seconds away from starting and we’re down 3-21. It was not what any of us were expecting, getting our asses handed to us in the first half. I'm angry, not at my guys or myself, but the circumstances. It's not that we've played bad; we're playing our game, but the breaks just aren't going our way. I want to win for the new guys, for the rookies, for Jake and Malcolm.

The whistle blows, and I take the field with the rest of my offensive line. In the huddle, I relay the play to the others and we break, lining up on the field. I look over at the defense for Carolina, glaring at each of them, when something in my mind ticks. With a gleaming smile, I get into position and call an audible.

The ball snaps to me, and I search for my favorite receiver, Gibson. He’s wide open, and I spiral a perfect pass to him as he takes off running, no one covering him since my audible has their defense scrambling. Incredibly, Gibson makes it 65 yards before he is taken down. Two plays later we’re in the end zone, and with the score on the extra point, it’s 10-21.

On the sideline, the team is abuzz with an unmistakable energy as I jog over and take my helmet off. We’re in it. Take no prisoners, in it to win it, whatever you want to call it, but we are in the zone. It is exactly the start we need for the second half.

On the field, Carolina snaps the ball, but our defensive line reads the play perfectly and sacks the quarterback. They gain seven yards on their next play, and ten on the play after that.

And then it happens.

I rise to my feet, everything happening in slow motion as Carolina’s quarterback throws the ball and Malcolm jumps up, snatching the pass from the air and running towards our end zone. It is an incredible play, and I can hardly believe it when the kid reaches the end zone. I hold my breath as we set up for the extra point. We’re playing outdoors, and the wind has picked up from even five minutes ago. I know it might be a problem, hell, everyone in the stadium knows it might be a problem. Lee Smith has been our kicker longer than I’ve been the Condors quarterback, and his success rate is close to perfect.

Time seems to stand still as the ball sails through the air, every one of us on the sideline is willing the ball to go between the posts. A groan runs down our sideline as the ball goes just left of the post. No good. 16-21.

The rest of the quarter passes in a blur until we’re in the fourth quarter, still down. I move the ball down the field, and Carolina’s defense is right there with us, keeping us from the end zone. They move the ball down field, and our defense keeps them from scoring. It’s become like a chess game, trying to anticipate the other guy’s next move, trying to score, trying to keep them from scoring.

I’m pretty sure this game has taken a year off my life, but I’m too wrapped up into it to care. I want this for my team. We have a goal, and now we need to achieve it.

The clock ticks down until there is less than ninety seconds left in the game. We have the ball, but we’re 95 yards from the end zone. In the huddle, I call the play, and we line up on the line of scrimmage. I exhale a breath, yell out at my offensive. “Hut, hut!”

The ball is snapped into my hands, and I’m looking for an open receiver – any open receiver – but there are none. There's only one option for me here: run.

I run like the devil, tearing down the middle of the field as the defense scrambles, my receivers doing everything in their power to stop them from reaching me. I hear the roar of the crowd in my ears, and I have tunnel vision on the end zone. I barely hear the whistle as my feet cross the line, the ref’s arms shooting up in the air. Touchdown.

I just scored a ninety-yard touchdown. In the Super Bowl. A winning ninety-yard touchdown. It’s another record that will have my name on it. The special teams are on the field and setting up for the extra point. The celebrating is already starting on the sideline, guys slapping me on the back, hugging each other. When the extra point is good, there’s more hugging and yelling. We’ve won, 23-21.

I give interviews on the field, but I don’t remember any of them. When they announce the MVP of the game, I’m excited, but not overly surprised to hear them say my name. I accept my award, the cheering crowd deafening, and look around at my teammates and the joy in their smiles. I smile, too, but it almost feels forced. My teammates are celebrating, and I see Jake and Malcolm whooping it up together. I remember those days, I think.

On the big screen, I see the camera pan to Josephine Lowell — blonde, beautiful, bombshell, A-list Hollywood actress — also known as my girlfriend. She’s waving and blowing kisses. Lapping up every moment of the attention, even though she hates football and her agent had to force her to come.

I look away and catch sight of some of my married teammates interacting with their wives and kids. I've played for seventeen years, and while the accolades I've earned have always been nice, there's a feeling in the pit of my stomach I can no longer shake. I yearn for something different. I want something more. I want something football doesn't offer, but I just don't know what it is yet.

Or maybe I do, I just don’t know if I’ll ever get it.

 

 

Chapter 4

Serena

“Why did I let you drag me out tonight of all nights?”

My sister Ashley laughs. “Because I promised you a free meal.”

“But it’s Valentine’s Day, and we’re surrounded by happy, lovey dovey couples. Everyone probably thinks we’re lesbians.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing, except you’re my sister, not my lover.”

“Do you have a lover?”

“No.”

“You should take one...or three,” she laughs.

Ashley is a free spirit, or at least that’s how everyone starts off when they describe her. She is a painter, and her art projects are always just a little over my head, but she is my sister and I love her, so here I am.

Ashley is babbling on about the commercialization of love by way of Valentine's Day, a rant I’ve heard every year since she was a freshman in high school and I was a freshman in college.

“I mean, why do we need a day to be told we have to tell the person we love that we love them? Shouldn't you be showing that every day? I don’t want to be taken out and romanced one day a year; I want it every day,” she rants.

I nod in agreement and sip my wine as she continues. “Look at this guy,” she says with a tilt of her head. I follow her eyes and see a couple, probably around my age, and the man has just moved from his chair to one knee. The woman’s hand moves to cover her mouth and even from across the room we can see her eyes glisten with tears. Ashley scoffs.

“This is what I'm talking about. What’s romantic about getting proposed to in a restaurant with dozens of strangers watching right after you ate the salmon? I guarantee he thinks this is some grand romantic gesture because that’s what Hallmark told him. But it’s not. It might even be worse than proposing to a girl at a sporting event. Get real, dude, and come up with a more inventive way to ask your girl to marry you.”

“What do you know about romance, Ash? You are a love ‘em and leave ‘em girl,” I say. My sister loves hard and fast, and it flames out just as quickly. She’s had more boyfriends in the last year than I’ve had in my entire thirty-three years.

“Says the spinster,” Ashley snarks back.

“I’m not a spinster.”

“When was your last date?”

“Eight months ago,” I mumble.

“I’m sorry, come again?”

“Eight months ago.”

“And, your last boyfriend?”

“Fourteen months ago. But that doesn't make me a spinster. I’m selective. I don't want to just date random guys — I want to feel a connection.”

“So, what do you want then?”

“I don’t know. Someone who makes me laugh, who supports me with my dreams.”

“And, what does he look like?”

“Looks aren't everything.”

“They aren't, but you have to be physically attracted to him, nonetheless.”

“I don’t think what he looks like is important, though. He should be kind, and have a job, and love me.”

“So really, he could be anyone.”

I shrug. “When it’s right, you just know. And, I’ll know when it’s right.”

“Okay, but while you wait for him to show up, maybe you could just get laid. You work too much, Serena, and you never go anywhere to meet people, so how is Mr. Right going to find you? Besides, Mr. Right Now could end up being Mr. Right if you went out and met him.”

“I have the online dating profile you insisted I make.”

“And, how many dates have you been on?”

“None.”

“Let’s make a deal then. You go out on one date in the next week with someone from the dating site, and I will not bug you for a week about meeting someone.”

“I don't know...”

“I know you are my big sister, but seriously, Serena, if you don’t put yourself out there, you won’t ever meet the one. If you’re not at work, you have your nose in a book. If you don’t have your nose in a book, you’re trying to turn nine-year-olds into astrophysicists. And while that is perfectly admirable, it’s all you do: work. You gotta get out and enjoy life for yourself.”

A sigh escapes me. I knows she’s right, even though I don’t want to admit it aloud. “I will try to find one decent guy to go out on a date with this week, okay?”

“Okay. Now, do you see this?” she points subtly at a couple who is being seated nearby. She is carrying a single red rose and looking at her date with what can only be described as heart eyes.

“A red rose on Valentine’s day. Does it get any more generic than that?” Ashley continues. “If a guy ever shows up for a date with me with a single red rose, I swear I’ll swat him in the face with it. The least he could do is find out her favorite flower and bring her that.”

“What if her favorite flower is a rose?” I ask her.

“No one’s favorite flower is a rose.”

I tune out while Ashley continues her rant about flowers. As I look around at the other couples, I realize that despite the corniness of it, I want what these women have. Perhaps not the stereotypically Valentine’s Day gifts, I’d appreciate something a bit more imaginative — but the companionship, I realize, I crave. I'm lonely and I want someone to share my life with.

 

 

Chapter 5

Cade

For someone who won the Super Bowl three weeks ago, you wouldn’t know if you saw me. I’ve been in what I can only describe as a funk since that night, probably even before. I have become the living embodiment of a moody, sullen teenager, and I’m thirty-eight years old. It’s ridiculous.

Across the room, my phone buzzes with an incoming text message. I glance at the screen, and my already sour face turns further.

Where are you?????

Even in a text message I can hear Josephine’s shrillness, and I shudder at the thought. I was supposed to meet her for lunch and didn’t bother to text or call her to let her know I wasn’t coming. She’s been blowing up my phone for hours, and I’ve been ignoring it for just as long.

I am no longer sure what I ever saw in her. Sure, she’s hot, and the sex has always been great, but our relationship has no substance. It’s a relationship of convenience these days. I need a woman like her when I show up to events, she needs a man like me to parade around at her movie premieres. Our relationship has had more ups and downs than a rollercoaster, and I need more than that.

Before I can stop and think about it, I grab my phone and call Josephine. She answers on the second ring.

“Where are you?” she demands. “Do you know how humiliating it was sitting by myself at Chateau Marmont? Where the fuck were you? You better have a damn good reason to stand me up. I’m Josephine Lowell, and no one stands me up, not even you Cade Thomas. You owe me big time, Cade. Jewelry big.”

“Josephine, for once in your life, shut up.”

“How dare you!” she gasps.

“I’ll tell you how I dare. We're done, Josephine.”

“Cade, don't be silly.” Her tone instantly changes, and she’s purring through the phone. “I’m sure you had a good reason. You can make it up to me anyway you like. I’m wearing those purple panties you like so much.”

“Do you want to know what I was doing today? I was in bed listening to Adele. I haven’t left my house in three days. I don’t have any interest in you or your Hollywood lifestyle. I want something real, Josephine, and you will never be real.”

“I am real, Cade. For the last two years, I’ve been me.”

I laugh. “That doe-eyed innocent act you play on screen isn’t you, no matter how hard you try to convince the public otherwise.”

“Fuck you, Cade.”

“It’s been... Well, it’s been something, Jo, but this isn’t it for me anymore.”

Now she laughs, and the bitterness turns my stomach. “You’ll be back, Cade. You’ll come crawling, begging me to take you back. But it will be too late. I’m the best thing that will ever happen to you, and you will regret this.”

She hangs up before I can say anything else but it doesn't matter. A weight feels likes it has been lifted from my shoulders, and I head to the bathroom to shower. When I feel like I’ve washed away the crustiness of spending the last three days in bed, I get out, wrapping a towel around my hips and dripping water on the floor into my bedroom. I dress quickly, shake my hair, and grab my car keys. I’m not sure where I’m going, but I need to get out of my house.

I drive to Manhattan Beach and walk the beach for a while, lost in my thoughts. I’ve been thinking about retiring from football; I’ve played seventeen seasons, and I’m pushing forty. I’ve had a great career, one that might not ever be matched, but I’ve also had injuries over the last few seasons. I played most of this season with a torn labrum in my shoulder. I need to have surgery on it.

Truth is, I have no idea what my next move should be, but I know the feeling in my gut is telling me to embark on something new. It's not like I have to do anything — I’ve made more than enough money to live on the rest of my life, but I’m pretty sure I’d go stir crazy without some sort of backup career.

I thought the salt air might help clear my head, but I decide I need a drink instead and head back to my car. I recall a friend of a friend mentioning a place nearby called Zinc. If memory serves me right, they are supposed to have great craft beer and a hot bartender, so I head over.

Immediately upon entering the lounge, I hear the murmurs and feel the looks. I don't mind being recognized, and for the most part, people are respectful. I’ve never been accosted while trying to take a piss, which is great. I smile and wave. I’m stopped for selfies with a group of women who appear to be out for a ladies’ night, and then sign autographs for a couple who are from the Midwest and in town as a belated honeymoon.

When I finally reach the bar, I look over the menu and decide on a craft beer they have on special. The bartender has just set it in front of me when the door opens and a woman enters. I can’t help but do a double take.

There is something simple, but classy about the jeans she wears, cuffed at her ankle with nude pumps, a simple blouse, not too fitted but not too loose, and a blazer. She adjusts the tortoiseshell cat eye-shaped glasses on her face and with a quick, appraising sweep of the room, she heads for the bar and takes the only empty seat — beside me. I offer a quick, polite smile as she sits down. The bartender takes her order and while she waits for her drink, she pulls her phone out.

I watch her surreptitiously as her eyes remain locked with the screen of her phone. Her hair is the same color as my dark beer and falls to her shoulders, full and looking soft to the touch. She’s beautiful, not a bombshell like Josephine, but she looks like the picture-perfect girl next door, the kind of woman Josephine has worked so hard to seem like, but no one actually buys into.

Classy girl also paid me no mind at all when she sat down. I admit, it puzzled me. In this town, everyone knows who I am. I gather she must be playing it cool, waiting for me to make a move. And who am I not to oblige?

“Hi, I’m Cade,” I smile, turning toward her.

She looks up, startled at my voice. I hold my hand out.

When she looks up at me, I notice right away that her eyes are the color of forget me nots, my mom’s favorite flower, and that there is no moment of dawning recognition. She has no clue who I am. “Hello, I’m Serena,” she answers after a beat, politely shaking my hand before returning to her phone.

I decide to press on, see if she really doesn't know who I am, or if she’s just that good.

“Nice day, huh?”

“Oh, um, yes, yes, it’s a nice day,” she replies.

“How about those Condors? That was some win the other week. Everyone’s still talking about it.”

“Condors? That’s the basketball team?”

I chuckle. “No, it's the football team. They just won the Super Bowl.”

She nods. “Right. Football.”

I decided to mess with her. See if she really was as clueless about sports as she was leading me to believe. “Yep, football. The sport with the homeruns. The team that scores the most wins the Super Bowl. It’s just a big home run derby, you know?”

“Really? They just see who can score the most homeruns? Hmph. For how long?”

“A couple hours. They have four quarters, and you score a point for every homerun, and then there are bonus points for hitting certain targets on the field, too.”

“That seems like a lot of time for something so simple.”

“Everyone really only watches for the commercials, anyway.”

“Like the ones with the horses? Those are always so sweet,” she purred.

“Yep, exactly like that,” I said, trying to keep a straight face. She was adorable.

 

 

Chapter 6

Serena

The man sitting beside me is an Adonis. There’s just no other way to put it.

The way his sandy blond hair flows in loose waves that are longer on the top than the sides has my fingers itching to run through the strands. His eyes are brown like rich soil and something about them makes me want to get lost in them for hours. He’s not dressed up, just casual in a pair of faded jeans and a snug white t-shirt, but he looks like a walking, talking fantasy. He is charming and gorgeous...and I have no idea why a guy this good looking would strike up a conversation with me of all people, but I won’t turn it down.

This normally would not be a place I’d be in, but I promised Ashley I’d go on at least one date this week. I matched with a cute enough guy earlier in the week, and he suggested we meet here for dinner and drinks. He’s late, and it’s a definite strike against him. I like punctuality, especially when making a first impression. Meantime, my bar companion isn’t a bad way to pass the time.

“What do you do, Serena?” Cade asks me. I look up at him, surprised to find myself so taken by his smile. He seems to genuinely want to know more so, I oblige.

“Well, I’m an astrophysicist.”

“Like Raj on The Big Bang Theory?”

“Yes,” I laugh. “Like Raj...or Neil deGrasse Tyson.”

“Oh, I know who he is. I watched that special he did about the cosmos. So, you must be pretty smart, then.”

I blush. “I have my doctorate,” I admit shyly.

“Wow. I just studied business in college. Not much science. What are you working on right now?”

“I’m part of a research team looking through data to find planets outside of our solar system.”

“Is that what you do every day?” he asks.

“Oh no, I teach also, at USC, but what I really want to do is bring science to everyone, you know, make it fun and exciting and easy to understand for a younger generation, get them excited about science, too.”

“That’s really cool, Serena.”

“Thank you.”

“Can I buy you drink?” he smiles and nods to my glass.

I look down at my now empty drink and back over to Cade. I’m enjoying myself and I haven’t enjoyed myself in a long time. “Sure. Thank you,” I smile. He catches the bartender's attention and orders a second round for the both of us. As she sets fresh drinks in front of us, Cade lifts his toward me, and we clink our glasses together.

“Hey, did you hear the moon is going broke?” I ask him. He looks at me, puzzled. “Yeah, it’s down to its last quarter.” There is a pause before Cade starts to laugh, and I can't help but laugh along with him.

“You’re like the sexy version of Neil deGrasse Tyson, complete with bad jokes,” he teases me, his eyes sparkling.

“I don’t know about sexy.”

He looks me up and down, and I feel my skin heat up and my pulse quicken. “Trust me, you’re sexy.”

No man who looks like Cade has ever made such an obvious pass at me. I am thrilled, but I still blush.

“Now, I know that can't be the first time a man has told you that,” he chuckles.

“It is,” I admit. “Certainly after telling a lame science joke.”

“That’s what tipped you over the scales, though,” he added with a wink.

I laugh along with him and find myself surprised not only by how easy it is to talk to Cade, but also by his actual interest in what I do.

“What about the physics of football? Do you know about that?”

I shake my head. “It isn’t something I’ve studied, to be honest.”

“You should,” he encourages. “People love football. Maybe it’s a way you can connect with kids. I know the kids I’ve met love sports. Combining something they love with something you want them to love might be cool to them.”

“That’s a good suggestion I hadn't thought of. I’m teaching a course this semester regarding the physics in movies, and it does appeal to a certain segment of young people. Sports could probably do the same for a different cut of the pie, so to speak.”

“That sounds interesting, physics in the movies.”

“It’s fun. We talk about force, acceleration, momentum, Newton’s Law... I mean, a lot of the time, Hollywood takes liberties, especially in action movies, but sometimes they get it right.” He nods as I’m talking, and I realize I haven’t even asked him what he does. I’m embarrassed to have been rude, but truthfully, his smile was distracting, and I wanted to see more of it.

“What about you, Cade? What do you do?” I ask as I sip from my drink.

“Truth be told, I think I’m in the midst of a midlife crisis. I don’t know what I’m doing at the moment, and I don’t know what I want out of life next.”

“Are you in business for yourself? You mentioned going to school for business.”

“No, I work for a, uh, corporation,” he replied. “Big business, I guess you could say. I’m just not sure it makes me happy anymore.”

“I understand. I’m happier being able to teach the physics in movies course this year, but I’m still not satisfied. Being able to reach the younger minds is where I want to be. Are you married, kids?”

“No, no, no, not married. No kids. No girlfriend, either.”

“Siblings?” I ask.

“Only child.”

“I have a sister, Ashley.”

“I bet you’re the older sister,” he remarks.

“You would be right.” I glance at my watch and frown. My “date” is now thirty minutes late.

“Someplace else you need to be?” Cade asks.

I sigh. “No. I promised my sister I would make at least one date this week from this dating site she signed me up for, and, of course, he’s late.”

“That’s disrespectful to show up late. He doesn't deserve a date with you. Let me take you to dinner instead. Anywhere you want.”

I am surprised at how strongly he says that my so-called date has been disrespectful, and flattered that he wants to take me to dinner. I consider it for all of three seconds.

“Anywhere I want?”

“Anywhere you want.”

I grab a cocktail napkin from the bar and a pen from my purse, writing down an address and sliding it to him. I pick up my drink and finish it before hopping up. “I’ll meet you there.”

 

 

Chapter 7

Cade

Serena is walking toward the door before my mind catches up and processes that she has agreed to have dinner with me. When she reaches the door, she looks over her shoulder at me, smiles, and I scramble to my feet, throwing bills on the bar, snatching up the napkin with the address, and making my way out after her.

I love that Serena has no idea who I am. And damn, it was cute how she believed me when I told her the Super Bowl is decided by who hits the most homeruns. I appreciate that she has a career and a goal for her life. Wanting to reach kids and get them as excited about science as she obviously is, that’s admirable, and I find myself wishing I knew a way to help her.

When I reach my car, I see her pulling away. I’m in my car as fast as I can be, unfolding the napkin in one hand while unlocking my phone with the other, typing the address in and letting the phone guide me as I pull into traffic.

The restaurant isn’t far, ten minutes, and I am surprised by her choice as get out of my car and walk to the door where she’s waiting. “This isn’t what I expected.”

“I’m a simple girl, Cade, with simple tastes, and this is the best Mexican restaurant in town. I eat here two or three times a week during the school year.”

“Really?”

“Really,” she affirms.

She grabs my hand to tug me forward. My pulse quickens.

“Come on,” she insists.

We’re seated fairly quickly, despite how busy the restaurant is. Chips and salsa appear at our table almost immediately, and a waitress comes by to take our drink order a few moments later. We look over our menus in silence, and when the waitress comes back with our drinks, we’re both ready to order. Once the waitress leaves again, I look over at Serena.

“So,” I start, not sure what to say next.

“So...” she repeats at my pause, smiling at me in a way that does something to me I can’t explain. “Are you from Los Angeles?”

“No, I moved here seventeen years ago. I’m originally from Chicago. What about you?”

“Born and raised.”

“Was it like it is on TV?” I question.

She laughs. “Not when you’re a science nerd. Far, far from it. What about you?”

“It wasn’t terrible,” I tell her. I was the star quarterback with the head cheerleader girlfriend and every other girl offering me anything I wanted. Of course, it wasn’t terrible. But I keep that to myself.

“What is Chicago like?”

“Cold, very cold, except for like sixty days in the summer.”

“Really?”

“Yep; it’s very different than here, that’s for sure. But it’s a beautiful city, and I go back and visit my parents as often as I can.”

“Is it scary? I hear the crime rate is crazy.”

“There are bad parts of any city,” I say diplomatically. “Even L.A. But there are some parts of town I wouldn't recommend going into by yourself.” I take a sip of my drink as she nods.

“That’s true.”

“Tell me about your sister,” I suggest. “I’m thinking I should send her some flowers as a thank you for making you go out on a date this week.”

Serena’s laugh is like a melody. Best laugh I’ve ever heard. Hands down.

“Ashley is a free spirit, very bohemian. She paints for a living, and she still lives with our parents, so you know, a true artiste,” she winks. “Seriously, though. I love her, she’s my sister, even though I’m positive she thinks I’m more than a little uptight and that I should date more than I do. Most men I meet, I can tell right away that they aren’t someone I want to spend time with. I’m not interested in wasting my time, you know? I don’t know exactly what I want, but when I find it, I like to think I’ll know.”

“I get that. Actually, that kind of perfectly sums up the confusion in my head. I don’t know what I want to do next, but when I come across the right opportunity, I hope I’ll know.”

“I’m sure you will,” she tells me, reaching across to squeeze my fingers with hers. Her touch lingers for a moment, but the spell is broken seconds later when our waitress comes to check on our drinks.

We settle into an easy conversation after that. We talk a little about our childhoods, I ask Serena more about her job, and she slips in a few more science jokes, some I even get. She asks me more about what I do, but I’m vague, not wanting to admit I’m a professional athlete and ruin her not knowing who I am. It’s so nice to be able to converse with someone with no expectations. I’m also just taken by her. She’s intelligent, funny, self-assured, and low maintenance. It is a refreshing change of pace from Josephine, and I find myself hanging on to her every word.

After we eat, Serena orders dessert, and we end up sharing an order of sopapillas. I like that not only did she eat a full meal, she got dessert, too. Josephine never orders dessert, and I’m lucky if she picks at a salad when we go out. Being around a woman who eats like a real person is fantastic. I snag the bill before she can and ignore her protests to split it with me.

“I asked you to dinner, so I pay,” I tell her. “That’s what a gentleman does.”

“But this isn’t a date,” she protested.

“Yes, it is. You promised your sister one date this week, and I’ve delivered on that. I’m paying.”

“Fine,” she sighs, seeing that I won’t give in.

As we walk out to her car, I grab her hand to slow her pace. “You should come over to my place for a drink,” I tell her, not wanting the evening to be over.

“I don’t know...”

“We’ve spent the last two hours together. Haven’t I proved I’m not a serial killer?”

She laughs. “That’s exactly what a serial killer would say to lure you to their house.”

“Maybe. But, truth is... I’m not quite ready for this to be over. So, do something with me. Anything.”

“I have classes to teach tomorrow.”

“I won’t keep you out past midnight, Cinderella.”

She looks at me for another moment, then sighs. “Okay. Fine. What’s your address?”

My smile turns victorious. Elation courses through me as I mentally pump my fist. Serena grabs her phone to type in my address. I wait for her to get in her vehicle and start out before jogging over to my truck. She pulls out behind me, and I am mindful of her following me, trying not to get separated from her, but knowing she’s got the GPS in case we do.

The drive to my place is maybe thirty minutes, and I feel myself getting nervous as we pull into the driveway. She parks beside me, and we both step out of our vehicles at almost the same time.

“That's a lot of house for one guy,” she comments.

She's not wrong; my house is two stories and twenty thousand square feet with seven bedrooms and ten bathrooms. I still have no idea why I need that many more bathrooms than bedrooms.

“What did you say you do again?”

“Athletic personnel support.”

“So, like an agent?”

“Something like that,” I reply, still purposefully vague. “Let's go inside, I'll give you the tour.”

Just inside the door, I punch in my alarm code after letting her in. I kick my shoes off in the entryway and she does the same, leaving her heels beside my shoes. I like being barefoot at home, and I especially like that she is willing to go barefoot in my house without a second thought. I thread Serena's arm through mine and walk further inside, pointing out the living room and the dining room as I head for the kitchen. There's a bar in another room, but there's also football paraphernalia all over that room, much of it showing me in uniform, so I'm avoiding it.

“What can I get you to drink?” I ask.

“Water?”

“Of course.” I grab two glasses and fill them with ice and then water. “Would you like to sit outside? We can sit by the pool or on the patio?”

“The patio sounds nice.”

I lead the way, and we settle outside. It's a nice night, but I turn on the patio heater, anyway. Our conversation picks right up from where it left off at the restaurant, and it's the easiest I've ever found interacting with a woman to be. Before I know it, thirty minutes have passed and once again, I'm hanging on every word she says.

“How do you organize a space party?” Serena asks me randomly. I know it’s another of her jokes.

“How?”

“You planet.”

I stare at her a beat before starting to laugh and shake my head. “You are like no woman I have ever met before,” I tell her.

“Now who's got the lame jokes?”

“It's not a joke.”

“That's definitely a line.”

“I swear it's not a line, I mean it. I've spent too much time around shallow, Hollywood types, and you are so much more than that. You’re real and honest and just you. I've really enjoyed myself tonight with you.”

“Thank you, Cade. I've enjoyed tonight, too.”

I reach over and grab the arm of the chair she’s sitting in to pull her chair closer to me. She laughs that mesmerizing laugh of hers as I do. When she right next to me, I lean in, brushing her hair behind her ear. Her laughter fades, and our eyes lock. Cupping her chin in my hand, I move in, brushing my lips over hers as her eyes flutter closed. It's whisper soft to start, but I can feel the flame start to burn as she kisses me back. I feel her tongue dart out across my bottom lip, and I give her the access she seeks.

When we pull apart, the air is charged around us, and I say exactly what's on my mind.

“I’ve been wanting to do that since you sat next to me at the bar. And, I’ve wanted to take you to bed since the moment you smiled at me, but I don't want you to think I'm just being a horny dude.”

“I don't think you're just a horny dude,” she whispers.

I push back from the table and flick off the heater before grabbing her hands and pulling her out of her chair. I lift her easily, my hands on the back of her thighs and her legs wrapped around me.

“Tell me no,” I say to her.

Instead, she says exactly what I want to hear.

“Yes.”

 

 

Chapter 8

Serena

A thrill shoots through me when Cade makes his admission, and when he lifts me up, the feeling only intensifies. I surprise myself when I say yes. I've never slept with a man I've just met, never had a casual fling or one-night stand.

There is something about this man, though, a tenderness in his eyes that shines with the genuine admiration in his words mixed with some sort of sadness he doesn't explain. I want him, even if only for one night before I go back to my reality tomorrow.

He kisses me under the moonlight, and I squeeze myself to him a little tighter. He carries me inside and sets me down just inside the door.

“Are you still sure?” he asks. I can only nod – my mouth has gone dry and words completely fail me. He takes my hand and makes for the stairs where I wordlessly follow.

When we enter his bedroom, the only thing I see is the ginormous, plush bed dominating the room. “That’s a big bed,” I say to him.

He chuckles. “I’m a big boy.”

Immediately, my eyes drop down to the crotch of his pants and then back up to his face, where he just watches me. There is silence for a minute where neither of us moves, and then Cade is advancing on me. His lips find mine, and he moves us closer to the bed, stopping when my backside bumps the mattress.

His hands move down my arms and to my hips before running up my sides, fingertips just grazing my breasts. His kisses move to my neck and my hand slides to his belt. I tug it loose and pull his shirt free, slipping a hand up his stomach to a rock hard chest. Cade pulls back and reaches behind him, pulling his shirt off in one swift motion.

“Jesus,” I swoon. The man is incredibly built, with wide shoulders, arms that look like they were sculpted from marble, and the abs. Holy hell. I count eight leading to the best V-shaped cut of a man’s hip bones I’ve ever laid eyes on. He stands there with a sexy smirk.

“See something you like?” he teases.

“Mm-hmm. But I’m going to need to see more to be sure. You know, for scientific reasons.”

He laughs. “Let’s see what we can do about that,” he says huskily. He pulls me close again and carefully unbuttons the buttons to the silky blouse I had chosen to wear. He pushes it off my shoulders and takes care to put it aside, instead of dropping it to the floor. Cade pushes his jeans down to his ankles to step out of them, kicking them away and leaving him in only black boxer briefs that leave almost nothing to my imagination.

He makes quick work of my bra next, tossing it aside. His head dips to capture a nipple in his mouth, and my head falls back. “Cade,” I moan as he switches to the other breast, teeth grazing, nipping, and teasing me. "Mmm.”

He puts one arm around me while the other hand moves south, and he unbuttons my jeans, slipping a hand inside my panties and cupping me. I know he feels how wet I am through my panties. I squirm against him, desperate for the friction, and groan when he pulls back. He pushes my jeans off and trails kisses down one thigh and back up the other. I kick my pants away as he moves forward, and I sit down on the bed, legs spread for him to step between. He hooks a thumb on either side of my thong, and I lift my hips as he pulls the fabric away from me. I scoot up the bed toward the pillows, completely exposed to him as he stands and looks at me.

“You’re gorgeous, Serena.”

I blush and start to say something when he grabs my ankles and pulls me toward him. I yelp with surprise at the action, but melt into his touch as his fingertips trace my inner thighs, up and down, closer to my clit with every pass until – finally – he lightly touches my labia.

I sigh and move my hips upward with a silent cry for more. His fingers brush over my heated flesh, becoming slick with my wetness. Cade slowly lowers himself to kneel and runs his tongue along my thigh, blowing a cool breath over my pussy as he passes to lick my other thigh. I’m squirming for his touch as he makes a second pass back. His hands slide under my ass, and suddenly, his tongue is on me.

He makes slow, lazy circles around my clit, building in tempo, sensing my need. I moan when his tongue moves down my slit. It flicks my clit again, and I reach for him.

“Cade,” I beg.

“Not yet.”

I can only whimper in response.

He sucks my clit between his lips, pressing his tongue hard against me. I tug his hair, urging him up, but he continues with his sweet torture. He sucks, pulling me deep into his mouth and then releasing, moving his mouth down, circling with his tongue.

One of his hands moves to hold my hip, and he uses the other to ease a finger inside me, working in and out. I feel the waves of pleasure building inside me, right there on the edge, waiting for Cade to push me over. He puts a second finger in me, and I move against his hand. His mouth seeks my clit, sucking and teasing.

“I’m so close, Cade,” I whimper. “Please.”

His fingers move harder, faster, and he presses his tongue flat against my clit while my body tenses and an orgasm rips through me. I call out his name as he rides it out with me, bringing me back down to the most glorious headspace I’ve ever known. He stands and watches me breathe heavily for a moment. I motion him toward me as I move back up his bed. He takes off his underwear so I can settle my gaze on what is easily the largest cock I’ve seen in person.

He moves over the bed and joins me, propping himself up on one elbow beside me. I move in, taking his bottom lip between mine and sucking. He moves so his mouth covers mine and rolls me on top of him. I straddle his waist, his cock brushing against my inner thigh, sliding across my wet opening.

“I want you inside me, Cade,” I say, rubbing myself up and down his length.

He twists and reaches for a drawer on the table beside his bed. He reaches in and roots around a minute before cursing loudly.

“I’m on the pill.”

“I don’t normally. I mean, I’m clean. I just had a physical a few weeks ago.”

“Me, too. Well, I mean, it's been awhile, but I’m clean, too.”

“Are you sure?”

I nod, considering I can count on one hand how many men I’ve been with. “I’m sure.” I grab his cock and slide my fist back and forth over it. He groans and grabs me around the waist, flipping our positions so he’s on top, the head of his dick teasing my entrance. He kisses me, and I swear it is the most earth-shattering kiss of my life. When he thrusts inside me without warning, my back arches and we both moan. He fills me in a way no man ever has before almost to the point of pain, but not; it's nothing but pleasure.

“Oh God, Cade,” I moan as he glides in and out of me. He groans as I wrap my legs around him, heels digging into his ass, urging him on. His thrusts increase, and his thumb comes in contact with my clit. My back arches again and my hips come off the bed, colliding with his. I bite my bottom lip, but he catches my mouth in a kiss.

“Scream my name,” he commands, beckoning my orgasm from me. I come undone under him in seconds, calling his name.

My body shakes, waves after wave of pleasure tearing through me. I can feel his dick tighten then his orgasm wracks his body. He groans my name, and I reach for him, pulling his face to mine and kissing him until he collapses on top of me. Our hearts race as we lay there, and when our breathing has come back to normal, he rolls off me.

He disappears into the bathroom, and when he comes back he has a warm washcloth, taking great care to clean me up. I go into the bathroom to finish and when I come back to his room, I start to head for my own clothes when he grabs my hand to stop me.

“No point of clothes when we’d just take them off again. Come lay down with me.”

He pulls back the covers on his bed and climbs in, tugging me down with him. I wasn’t planning to spend the night, but the sight of a naked Cade in his soft sheets and plush blankets was enough to tempt me. I climb in beside him. He pulls me close, and I lay my head on his chest and snuggle into him. It’s the safest, most comfortable feeling I’d ever felt next to a man.

We don’t say anything, just breathe until our breaths even out and we both fall asleep.

 

 

Chapter 9

Cade

I am dreaming about her the next morning, and I wake with a smile, rolling toward the woman I shared my bed with. I haven’t slept so well in I can’t remember how long, and I’m hoping we can get in another round before breakfast.

I’m about to say good morning, but the words die on my lips when I find my bed empty. I sit up and look toward the bathroom, but the door is open. Looking around, I see her little pile of clothes is missing, and I hop out of bed to head downstairs.

“Serena?” I call out as I go into the kitchen. She isn’t there, so I move to all the other rooms on the first floor and then make a sweep of the second floor. As I head back down the stairs, I catch sight of a lime green post-it note on the front door.

Cade,

Thank you for last night. I had a wonderful evening. Best date I’ve ever had. I hope you manage through your midlife crisis and find whatever it is you’re looking for.

Serena

I’m pissed off that she snuck out sometime during the night. I haven’t been this attracted to a woman in years, and now, I don’t even have her last name.

I head into the kitchen for something to eat, thinking about whether I should track her down. She mentioned that she’s a professor at USC and even one of the classes she teaches. Plus, she’s a sexy as sin astrophysicist; there can't be that many of them in town.

Except... She could have left her number on her note if she wanted to. I made it clear I was interested in her, but she snuck out. I gave her what I thought were two mind-blowing orgasms, and still she left. It’s obvious from our conversations last night that she’s not a for a good time call kind of girl; she’s a monogamous, steady, relationship kind of girl. Maybe all she wanted was a quick, fun romp. I certainly delivered on that.

Even though I wanted desperately to get to know more about her, she obviously didn’t, and I have to accept it was a one night only deal. She got what she needed, I got a night with her, and I can respect that. She’s a woman who knows what she wants, and I guess I’m not it...no matter how earth-shaking those orgasms were.

It was one of the better nights of my life and even though the odds are I won't see her again to tell her that, I hope she knows it. Because if I ever do see her again, I’ll do whatever it takes to have her again.

 

 

Chapter 10

Serena

Ashley is dancing from foot to foot with excitement, but I feel nothing but impending doom.

It’s been three weeks since the night I met Cade, three weeks since I snuck out of his house at four in the morning to avoid going any deeper down the rabbit hole. We move in two very different worlds – the size of his house had made that clear – and he was very obviously at a crossroads in his life, unsure what to do or where to go next.

There’s only one problem: I’m late. Hence the reason my sister is excitedly skipping around my apartment as we await the results of a pregnancy test I just took.

“I’m going to be the best aunt ever,” Ashley says. “It’s going to be so cool. I can take the baby to the park and play on the swings without people looking at me funny.”

“We don’t even know if I’m pregnant or not. I could’ve missed my period for any number of reasons.”

“Says the girl who had a one-night stand of unprotected sex.”

“It wasn't unprotected; I’m on the pill.”

“Tell me about Cade,” she insists.

“I've told you about Cade.”

“Tell me again. He sounds like a grade A piece of man meat.”

I roll my eyes and sigh, thinking about him again. “He was very good looking,” I allow, knowing full well that Ashley’s assessment is spot on.

“So then, why did you sneak out? You said he was very charming.”

“He was. He had all the right words and meant them. And yes, he was incredibly handsome, too. But that can't be it.”

“You don’t know if that was it; you left a fucking post-it note.”

“He was a confused businessman, Ash, in the middle of some midlife crisis. He doesn't know what he wants next in life. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't know what they’re looking for. I want to be with someone who is sure of himself – sure of me, and wants to be with me.”

“Just because he is confused about his career doesn't mean he would have also been confused about you. He could have chosen you without hesitation. You could have, at the very least, had some fun for yourself for a while. No one is saying you had to marry the guy.”

“You know that isn’t my thing.”

“Fun isn’t your thing? Serena, who are you kidding?”

“Look, can we just focus on one thing at a time? There’s only a minute left until the test is done.”

“Are you ready for whatever it says?”

I take a deep breath. “Yes. I didn’t think I was ready to be a mom, but this feels so right and if it’s positive... I’m looking forward to pregnancy.”

“And Cade?”

“What about him? He didn't sign up to be a father. I told him it was fine, that I was on the pill. Granted, now I might be a statistic of women who get pregnant while on the pill, but I’m not going to bother him; it's my mess.”

“Well, I do think he deserves to know, but no matter what, I’ll be here for you.”

“Thanks, Ash. You’re a good sister.”

The timer on my phone rings, and we look at each other. Ashley grabs my hand and squeezes as I pick up the plastic stick. I look at the little pink lines and then at Ashley, turning it toward her.

Positive.

 

 

Chapter 11

Cade

Present Day

“You never have time for me,” Josephine complains in my ear through the phone, and I suppress the urge to let out a guttural scream in annoyance.

“Not that it matters at this point, but I saw you last night and the night before, Jo.”

“I didn’t see you for a whole week before that,” she whines. “I think that’s what our problem is.”

“I was out of town. I had a job,” I state matter-of-factly.

“Your job is talking about football. I’d hardly call that a job.”

It takes everything in me to keep from throwing my phone into the wall across the room with the same force I once threw a football.

“Well then, you should pick your next boyfriend based on his job so that he has one you find acceptable.”

“Next boyfriend?” she scoffs. “I already have you.”

“No. You don’t have me, Josephine. I told you last night – I’m done.”

“I know you weren’t serious, Cade. This is us. We break up, we see other people for a week, and then we make up. Rinse and repeat. It’s cute, the press loves it.”

“I don’t need that kind of gratification, though. And, I was very serious last night. Our cycle of breaking up and making up is ridiculous and I’m over it. We always end up back here because it’s all we know. I don’t love you, and you don’t love me.”

“Don’t be silly. Of course, I love you, Cade,” she says in a tone that isn’t even remotely believable.

“No, Josephine, you don’t. You love the idea of love, but you don’t know how to love. You parade me out when you need press, like I’m a trophy. I’m not a trophy. I’m a person. I’m a man, and I want a woman I can relate to, one I can share my life with. That’s not you.”

“What you need is someone that keeps you relevant,” she says snidely. “You commentate about a sport you don't even play anymore. No one talks about you, not since the Condors drafted that hot shot rookie quarterback who is making everyone forget who Cade Thomas ever was. Face it: you are a washed up has-been. A loser.”

“Right, I’m a loser that holds multiple records, not only in the NFL, but in college football, too. Hey, maybe I can add a new one: record number of times to break up and make up with the same girl for five straight years,” I laugh. “If anyone is a loser, it’s the actress who makes less money than the retired jock who gets paid to talk about football once a week.”

“You asshole!” she yells into the phone. “No one who is anyone is going to want you, Cade. I’ll be living the life, and you will have no one. No one, do you hear me?”

“I’m afraid I do, even if I don’t want to. I think I’ll remedy that. This conversation is over,” I say calmly.

“One day you’ll regret this!” she spews.

“I doubt it, Josephine. In fact, I have a great idea. Let’s never speak to each other again. Doesn’t that sound great?”

“It sounds perfect,” she spits with venom in her voice. “And when you come crawling, begging me to take you back, I’ll just laugh in your face.”

“Don’t hold your breath on that one. Goodbye, Josephine.”

I hang up before she can say anything else and immediately block her number in my phone. Shaking my head to clear away the conversation, I grab something to drink from the kitchen and notice the eggnog in my fridge. It's three weeks until Christmas, and my house is bare of decorations. I think about getting a tree tomorrow to get into the holiday spirit. Josephine hates the smell of a fresh tree, and I haven’t had one for as long as I’ve known her because I didn’t want to listen to her complain about it. Now seems like a good time to do what I want for the holiday.

I’ve been retired from football for over three years now, having hung up my cleats for good after I won the Super Bowl with the Condors, making my announcement a couple of months after.

A couple of months after my night with Serena. Even now, I still think about her often.

I think about that night all those years ago, wondering what might have been. She’ll never know how she was a part of what spurred me to move on from playing football. Offers to join the broadcast booth came in, to join the Condors as a scout, to coach, but none of them spoke to me. Nothing did until an opportunity to take part in a brand new weekly commentary show came along. Two dudes just talking football appealed to me and brought me back to the things that made me love the sport in the first place.

I leave in a few days to film another show, but until then – now that I have given Josephine the boot for good – I just want to relax and enjoy the time to myself. Maybe decorate the house some. I settle into the plush confines of my couch and grab the remote, flicking the TV on. I begin to flip through for something to watch, pausing briefly on a game show, the home shopping network, and a soap opera before I click past a news show in a rush.

My brain screams “go back!” And as fast as I had sped past the channel, I’m pressing the button to reverse my scanning and leaning forward on the couch, staring down my TV to make sure I actually saw what I thought I did.

Sure enough, as if I’ve conjured her from my thoughts, there on my television is Serena. I turn up the volume and drop the remote beside me as I sit up, not wanting to miss a second.

“Good afternoon, and thank you for joining us. Beside me is Dr. Serena Jacobs, astrophysicist and educator. Thank you for being here, Dr. Jacobs,” the host of the show says.

“It is my pleasure, Robyn.” Serena smiles warmly and I melt inside, just like I did the night I met her.

“Christmas is around the corner, and for most children, that only means one thing: Santa Claus is coming to town. But how exactly does he get here and everywhere else on Christmas Eve? There are some two billion children in the world, after all. So, Dr. Jacobs, how does the man in red do it? Is it even possible?”

“Well, Robyn, we know Santa doesn’t visit all of the children. There’s that naughty list to consider,” she laughs. “And, of course, those who sadly just don’t believe. Those factors reduce the number of children being visited by at least fifteen percent. Now, we are still talking about around 375 million children that Santa visits, but the good news for Santa is that he has thirty-one hours to work with.”

“How is it that Santa gets more than twenty-four hours in a day?” the host asks.

“Assuming Santa travels east to west, the rotation of the earth plus the different time zones throughout the world buys him those extra hours, which he’ll need, considering he is visiting roughly ninety-two million homes each Christmas Eve.”

“How long does that give Santa at every house?”

“Not much,” Serena laughs warmly again. “About 1/1000th of a second is all Santa has to stop, drop down the chimney, unload the presents, and get out undetected. He is working at warp speed for sure.”

“Interesting. And, how fast would Santa’s sled be traveling?”

“Rudolph and his team of reindeer are pulling Santa’s sled at a speed that is three thousand times the speed of light, so about 650 miles per second. It is quite fast for your average reindeer, but I think we all know that Rudolph and company are not your average reindeer, just as Santa is not your average jolly old man.”

The interviewer laughs “How true. You’ve heard it here first, folks: Santa is performing miracles of science, at least according to USC professor, Dr. Serena Jacobs. Thank you for joining us today. We appreciate you every time you stop in.”

“I’m always happy to be here, Robyn. Thank you for having me.”

I pause the TV on a shot of Serena smiling and stare, shocked to actually see her face and not a memory in my mind. While I’ve replayed the night with her over and over, I am unprepared for the flood of emotions coming over me. There have been women other than Josephine in the years since, but no one that meant something, and no one that made me stop and give a second thought to my life or my future...not the way Serena did. I remember how disappointed I was to discover she had snuck out during the night. It was more than just wanting another go; it was wanting to know all of her. The feeling of not knowing what might have been still claws at my chest.

The more I think about it, the more it becomes clear to me. I left playing football because it left me unsatisfied. The new show, being able to offer commentary to help others understand the game better gives me a purpose. Josephine and all the others were temporary bodies and none of them ever left me with anything but a fading sense of temporary satisfaction. The only time I've been with a woman that left me both sated and still wanting more was my one night with Serena.

The time we had spent at the bar and then at dinner had been unhurried, and without the air of pretentiousness that seemed to follow every other date I’ve been on. I was taken by her at first look, and I was under her spell as I got to know her. I was a goner the first time I kissed her.

I am sure she had her reasons to slip out of my bed, my house, my life, and while she doesn't owe me anything, I can’t help wanting to know why she never gave us a chance. Looking at her warm smile, I ask myself, what’s the harm in a casual coffee to talk after all these years?

 

 

Chapter 12

Serena

I am always shocked by the number of students in my Physics at the Movies class. I never thought it would grow into the hugely popular class it has become. All the science majors insist in taking the class even though it’s a not a requirement, and I’ve been pleasantly surprised over the last few years at the number of non-science majors who take the class and report that they genuinely enjoyed what they got out of it. A few have even changed majors, and I love taking those students under my wing to help nurture their newfound love of science.

“Let’s continue our discussion of action scenes that would never work out in real life the way they do in Hollywood. This clip is from the Vin Diesel movie XXX. Let’s watch as Mr. Diesel snowboards his way out of an avalanche.”

Using a remote in my hand, I trigger the clip to begin playing at the front of the room. In it, Vin Diesel's character, Xander Cage, roars down the side of a mountain on a snowboard wearing your average run of the mill snow jacket and pants, no helmet or goggles, somehow defying all the odds to outrun the avalanche. When the clip finishes, I turn to the class.

“The fastest recorded run down a mountain on a snowboard is one hundred twenty-five miles per hour, but for the average person, they are likely topping out at around fifty miles per hour. However, we’ll give Xander Cage some leeway and clock him around eighty miles per hour since he’s supposed to be such a badass. The average avalanche falls somewhere between 130 to 200 miles per hour. Xander Cage has about a 32 feet head start on the avalanche. So, we’re assuming he’s traveling at about eighty miles per hour and that our avalanche is going at its slowest one hundred thirty miles per hour. How quickly is that head start equalized?”

There is a flurry of activity as the students work out the problem and hands start to shoot up across the room. I call on a girl in the middle of the classroom. “The snowboard and the avalanche would be equal in about half a second, Dr. Jacobs.”

“And what next?” I question.

“The avalanche would presumably envelop the snowboarder after that,” she replies.

“Very good,” I nod. “Now, would anyone like to see if they can outrun an avalanche tomorrow?”

There is a smattering of giggles through the room that quickly turn to whispers as the students, one by one, start to turn their attention toward one side of the room, looking at one another with excitement. I follow their gazes to the side entrance door and am shocked at the sight before me.

Cade Thomas.

My breath catches and my heart pounds hard in my chest. It’s been nearly three years, but I recognize him instantly. Now that I know who he is, he’s impossible to miss. His presence is all over town.

“Dude!” one of my seniors yells out. “You’re Cade Thomas, the Condors quarterback.”

People begin standing to move closer to him, pens and paper held out toward him, cameras flashing as the students try to take selfies with him.

I didn't know who he was until a couple of months after our encounter. Watching the news that night, his face was everywhere talking about his retirement. Even now, it’s impossible to miss him on the cover of gossip magazines week in and week out.

And while I am sure he enjoys the attention, I would like control of my class.

I whistle loudly, catching everyone off guard. “Mr. Thomas will be happy to sign autographs and take selfies with you, but only if you can control yourselves for the rest of my class. Is that alright with you, Mr. Thomas?”

He smiles with amusement. “Of course, Dr. Jacobs.”

I nod as Cade moves down the steps, finding a spot on the front row. “Since Mr. Thomas is here, and I know you are all far more interested in him than what we were discussing before, let’s switch gears to football. Now, any object thrown into the air follows the same basic trail. It travels up, gravity slows it down until it stops at its peak height, and then the ball comes down. What happens next?”

I feel Cade’s eyes on me as I call on a boy in the back of the room to answer. “Gravity accelerates the ball until it is caught or hits the ground.”

“And this principle is called?” I ask.

“Projectile momentum,” the boy answers.

“Very good. Now, when a punter kicks a ball, there are three factors he can control. What are they?”

I pick a different student to answer. “Velocity, angle, and rotation.”

“Excellent. He controls the speed at which the ball leaves his foot, the angle of the kick, and the rotation of the football. Now, why is the rotation of the ball important?”

I point at a student in the front. “The rotation of the ball will influence how the ball slows in flight because it will be affected by air drag.”

“Yes,” I agree. “A spiraling kick will have less air drag, and will not slow down as much and therefore, will stay in the air longer and go farther than an end over end kick. Now, what about the velocity and angle of the ball?”

Another student chimes in when I point to her. “The ball is moving at a given velocity of speed plus the angel of direction, depending on the force of the kick. The ball will move in two directions, horizontally and vertically, and how fast the ball goes in each direction depends on the angle of the kick.”

“Correct,” I smile at her. “If the ball is kicked at a steep angle, then it will go high, have a long hang time, but travel a short distance. It has more velocity in the vertical direction. If you want more velocity in a horizontal direction, the punter would need to kick at a shallow angle; it won’t go very high, but it will go a farther distance. The punter has quite a few decisions to make in a short period of time, doesn’t he?”

I move forward in the same vein as we talk further about the hang time and peak height calculations a punter might face before discussing the additional hurdles the kicker faces as he has the more difficult job since the ball usually reaches peak height before the football reaches the uprights.

I dismiss class forty minutes after Cade had walked in, and he is immediately swarmed by students. I collect my things and watch as he graciously talks to every student and signs everything waved in his face, smiling for selfie after selfie. I slip out a door at the front of the room instead of using the one at the side of the lecture room. It means I have to take a slightly longer route to my office, but I don’t mind.

I have no idea what Cade Thomas is doing in my classroom, and I’m not sure I care to know. If the rumor mill is to be believed, he broke up with his girlfriend last week for the millionth time, and if his pattern holds, he’s looking for any warm body to keep him company until he inevitably ends up back with Josephine. It’s a pattern the world has seen repeated time and again over the past four years. It’s a pattern I followed myself for a while, having put together the pieces after finding out who he really was.

I’m not interested in old patterns though. My life is so much different today than it was that night, and being someone’s quick fling has no appeal to me. If Cade Thomas is here looking for a quick roll in the hay, then he’s come to the wrong girl.

Before I can reach my office, I see Benjamin sprinting toward me.

“Serena, is it true? Cade Thomas was in your class? The Cade Thomas?”

“Yes, he showed up; he’s probably still there, in fact. He was signing autographs and taking pictures when I left. I’m sure if you hurry, you can catch him.” I walk away before he can say anything else and hurry the rest of the way to my office, closing the door behind me.

Leaning back against the closed door, I let out a huge sigh at successfully avoiding Cade. My eyes fall on a framed photo on my desk, and I smile, but my heart pangs just a little, too.

 

 

Chapter 13

Cade

The number of college kids swells in the lecture room, and I am certain that word has spread I’m here because there is just no way that all these kids were in the class that just finished. I am signing autograph after autograph and taking so many selfies, I’m sure I’ve gone cross eyed. I look around for Serena and don’t see her, realizing I’ve been at this for at least fifteen minutes, and she is gone from the room.

Immediately, disappointment rushes through me, and I look over at the kid in front of me, a tall and lanky blond guy, hoping he was in the class. “Hey, does Dr. Jacob’s have an office on campus?” I ask him quietly.

“Oh, yeah, it’s in Fisher Hall.”

“Great, thanks.” I scribble my name on the proffered paper and then swing my gaze around the room.

“I’m sorry, everyone, but I’ve gotta head out. Thanks for letting me sit in on your class today.” I smile, the blindingly perfect one that I use when I want to charm my way out of anything, and move to the door at the back of the room. I remember passing Fisher Hall on my way to the classroom, so I make my way back in that direction.

I haven't made it more than ten feet when I’m stopped by a group of giggling sorority sisters who want a picture. I oblige, and then regret it when one of them grabs my ass. I sidestep away and continue on only to be stopped again, this time by a man that seems around my age.

“Cade Thomas, wow, this is truly something,” he says. “My name is Benjamin Mack, I’m the head of the science department here a USC.”

I shake his hand. “Pleasure to meet you, Benjamin. Listen, I was looking for Dr. Jacobs’ office. Could you point me in that direction?”

“I can take you there myself, it would be my honor.”

“Great,” I smile tightly. There’s something about the guy’s overly enthusiastic grin paired with the smarmy glint in his eyes that strikes me as a little odd.

“So, what brings you here today?” he asks as we start walking again.

“I saw Dr. Jacobs on TV last week, and it’s been awhile since we saw each other so I wanted to come by and say hello. I remember her mentioning her Physics at the Movies class. I was intrigued by the idea and wanted to see it in action.”

“I had no idea she knew you personally,” Ben rambled as we enter Fisher Hall. “Serena is full of surprises. Like this course, for instance. I wasn’t sure about it when she first brought up the premise, but it has quickly become one of our most popular courses on campus for science majors and non-science majors alike.”

“She’s a great teacher. I even learned a thing or two myself today,” I tell him.

“That she is,” he agreed. “Well, here we are,” he says, stopping in front of a closed door.

“Thanks for the help, Ben. Really appreciate it,” I tell him, shaking his hand. I expect him to walk away, but he continues to stand there. I clear my throat. “Anything else I can do for you?” I ask, giving him a look.

“Oh, no, no, no. All good. Nice to meet you.”

“You, too.” Finally, he walks away, and I lift my hand to knock. I hesitate a beat, not exactly sure what I’m doing or what I’ll even say. I can’t believe I am trying to work up the nerve to talk to a woman when the door swings open.

“Cade,” Serena says evenly. “I wasn’t expecting to see you again.”

The sight of her takes my breath away. She’s all business in a blouse, blazer, and pencil skirt combination, and suddenly, I’ve got nothing but lusty thoughts filling my head.

“Hi,” I say and mentally grimace at how lame I must sound.

“I’m surprised you remember me, what with the parade of women you’ve been seen with in the last few years.”

“Come on now, there haven’t been that many,” I defend myself. “Besides, none of them end up on TV talking about science and Santa Claus.”

She steps back inviting me inside, and I step inside her office. She closes the door behind her and moves to her desk, motioning me to a chair across from her.

“You were good, by the way. On TV. Really good,” I stutter out.

She smiles. “Thank you. I’ve seen you on TV, too. A lot once I started paying attention, actually.”

“I liked that you didn’t know who I was,” I admit. “It was nice knowing you were interested in me, not the football player.”

“You let me think that the Super Bowl was settled by scoring home runs.”

I chuckle. “That was funny, though. I see you’ve studied up on the sport since then.”

“A little. Someone once told me that maybe using sports to teach science would be a good way to reach a younger crowd,” she said, smiling sweetly up at me.

“And, how is that working for you?”

“Today was the first day I got a chance to try it out, to be honest. But it was fun, and the students were very engaged.”

“I bet school-aged kids would love it, too,” I offer.

“Maybe.”

My gaze wanders over her desk which is cluttered, but in an organized chaos kind of way. My focus falls on a pair of framed photos. One is Serena with a slightly younger blonde version of her that I assume must be the sister she’d mentioned during our one encounter. The other is of her and a small child. There is something about the kid that seems familiar, but I can't put my finger on why.

“Is that your sister?” I ask, gesturing toward the photo.

“Yes, that’s Ashley.”

“And the other photo?”

“That’s my son.” She offers adding nothing else, and I don’t press. I can tell she’s wary of my presence, and I know I must tread lightly.

“Why are you here, Cade? Seriously?”

“I wanted to ask you out to dinner.”

“Did you break up with Josephine again?” Her sarcasm is biting.

“This isn’t about Josephine.”

“Couldn’t find any Hollywood starlets to tide you over until the two of you get back together?”

I wince at her words. They cut because they’re true, and I know I have to prove myself to her. “I wanted to see you. I’ve thought about you hundreds of times since that night. Maybe thousands,” I emphasize.

“Really?”

I can tell whatever wall she has built up just cracked a little. I don’t want her to think I’m feeding her a line because I’m not. Honesty seems like the only way to go, so I press forward.

“Really, Serena. I liked talking to you and spending time with you. Don’t get me wrong, I really liked all the other stuff, too. But that isn’t why I’m here. The truth is, I was looking forward to seeing what might happen between us. I was ready to embark on something new, something I saw as exciting. I wanted to date you, get to know you, but when I woke up...you were gone with only a post-it note left in your wake. That hurt a little.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she says softly. “I just... No one like you had ever hit on me before, and you were so sweet, and I had so much fun with you, but...”

“But what?” I press.

“I don’t know. I just couldn't see it going anywhere. We’re worlds apart, Cade.”

“How did you know that, though? You had no idea who I was that night.”

“You’re right. I didn’t know you were a Hall of Fame-worthy quarterback. But I did know that you were very smooth and very rich. I’m a simple science nerd. And, I might not have known you were a jock then, but it was obvious that you were more than just a businessman. I’ve never met a businessman in my life with a body like yours.”

“You liked my body?” I tease, wiggling my eyebrows at her. She blushes.

“Shut up, you know it’s incredible. I mean, how often do you go to the gym?”

I laugh. “Six days a week.”

“Six days a week?! Are you certifiable?” she smiles.

“It was a part of my job, and I loved it, so no, not quite certifiable,” I wink at her.

“I don’t work out. Between school and home, who has the time?”

“What about dating, do you have the time for that?” I ask sincerely.

“I have a son, and he has to come first.”

“You should put yourself first sometimes, too.”

“Easier said than done when you’re a single mom,” she says.

“There’s no Mister Doctor Jacobs waiting at home?”

“There is nobody waiting at home.”

“No boyfriend?” I ask just for good measure.

“I don’t date much.”

“Why not? You’re beautiful and smart. How has no one won you over?”

“You have to go out to meet people, Cade. I very rarely do that.”

“So, go out with me, then. Let me take you to dinner. Can Ashley babysit for you tonight?”

“Why would I go out with you? You’ve been going through the same back and forth cycle with Josephine for years. You break up, you parade around town for a week with other women while she shows up everywhere with a piece of man candy, and then you’re back together like none of it happened. I’m not a fling. I have more self-respect than that.”

“And, I told you that night you were more than that. I meant it. I mean it even more now.”

“I don’t know, Cade.”

“Please? Just one date, that’s all I’m asking, Serena. I promise that I’ll be a perfect gentleman, and if you still think I’m a toolbag, then I won’t ever bother you again.”

“Ashley is getting ready for a show and is painting tonight.”

“Tomorrow?” I ask, hoping she’ll agree.

She looks at me for a moment and takes a deep breath. “Okay.”

“Okay?” I repeat optimistically.

“Okay.”

I try not to look giddy, but I’m fairly certain I fail. “Let me give you my number, and we’ll figure out all the details.”

When I leave Serena’s office five minutes later, I am elated. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt this excited about a date with a woman. I know the battle is only half won, though. I’ve got an uphill climb to prove myself, but I am more than up to the challenge.

 

 

Chapter 14

Serena

I still can’t completely wrap my head around everything that happened today. I try to get some work done in my office, but Cade’s scent lingers. It’s woodsy and manly with this hint of something not overly sweet or fruity. It’s just right, and I find myself gravitating to the chair he sat in earlier where the smell seems to hang in the air a little more than anywhere else.

Since I can’t seem to focus, I pack my stuff and head across town for Ashley’s studio.

When I first met Cade, Ashley was just floating in the breeze. I’m so proud of everything she’s done since then. She is still the free-spirited Jacobs sister, but she now owns an art gallery and is in the midst of preparing for an upcoming show. I know I’ll find her there, and I need to tell her what happened.

I park around back of the gallery and let myself in the back door of the building where Ashley’s studio space is. I hear the new age music she likes to listen to when she’s painting and follow the sounds, pausing in the doorway to watch her work. I am always fascinated watching my sister paint, although I don’t often understand the abstract works.

I must make some sort of noise because Ashley pauses and straightens, turning and seeing me.

“Serena, what are you doing here?” I smile at the paint streaks across her cheek and in her hair.

“Weird day; I needed someone to talk about it with.”

“Can you talk while I paint?” she asks.

“Of course, but I think you might want to take a break to hear this.”

“That good, huh? Color me intrigued.”

She sets her brush down and I continue. “Cade showed up during my Physics at the Movies class today.”

“Wait, what?” Her attention is now fully mine. “Cade? Cade Thomas?”

“The one and the same.”

“Holy shit, Serena. This needs more than a break; we need cocktails, or at the very least wine. Let me clean up and we can go somewhere.”

I help her clean up and put away her supplies, and ten minutes later we are seated at a quiet wine bar just down the block from her studio. After our glasses are filled and we are alone, she prompts me to tell my story.

“Ok, so Cade just randomly shows up at USC today and pops into your lecture of all places?” she asks.

“As crazy as that sounds, yes. Although, I don’t think it wasn’t totally random. He saw my interview last week, the one I did about physics and Santa Claus?”

“Oh yeah, that was cute. So, he saw it and had to come find you?”

I shrug. “I guess? I don’t know. He showed up near the start of class and hung around. I snuck out while the kids bombarded him for autographs after.”

“You left him to fend for himself with the co-eds? That’s cold, Serena.”

“Come on, Ash. He’s kind of a playboy,” I insist.

“He’s been off and on with the same woman for years,” she comes to his defense.

“And when they’re off, he’s out with a bevy of models. I am not the model type. I have curves and dark hair, and I wear glasses, for Pete’s sake! What could Cade Thomas possibly want with me?”

“Well, for starters, you’re gorgeous. Secondly, you’re super smart. You’re kind, you’re a great mom, you’re funny... What wouldn’t he want with you?”

“He asked me out. He found his way to my office somehow, and we talked for a little while. He asked me to dinner.”

“What did you say?” she leans in.

“I told him no.”

“Why would you do that?! Are you nuts? He’s a total hottie and gave you the best orgasm of your life. Why would you turn down the chance for another one of those?”

“I told him I couldn’t go out tonight, but he could take me to dinner tomorrow,” I finally offer with a grin.

“Yes, Serena. Get some!”

I shush her. “Can you please keep your voice down? I’d like to keep my business private if we could. Besides, I only said yes to get him out of my office.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean he’s been off and on with the same woman for what? Five years? And, he’s likely got a bedpost full of notches, myself included.”

“You don’t know that he’s slept with all the women he’s been photographed with.”

“You’re right; there could be others that never graced the pages of US Weekly.”

“Why not give him a chance, Serena? He sought you out, that means something, right?”

 

“Maybe,” I concede.

“What’s the big deal? He’s a good-looking guy; let him wine and dine you. Carpe diem!”

“I’m a mom now, Ashley. I can’t just do whatever I feel like. I have to think about Alan.”

Ashley frowns. “I know you’re the serious one, but you’re being way more serious than normal. What gives, Serena? What’s the real issue?”

I sigh. I haven’t even admitted the truth to myself, so how can I admit it to my sister? “This isn’t like the last time, Ash. This isn’t you making me go out on a blind date. I’m responsible for another human being. I have to make the right choices not just for me, but for Alan, too.”

“That’s not it, though. There’s more. He’s Alan’s dad. Doesn’t that earn him a chance?”

“He doesn’t know that.”

“You didn't tell him?” she scoffs.

“Why would I tell him? He just showed up. That’s not something you just spring on someone after you haven’t told him for three years.”

“I just don’t understand why you’re not more excited. He’s handsome and rich. He can take care of you and Alan.”

“We don’t need someone to take care of us; we’re doing fine on our own.”

“Is that what this is about? You don’t want him to know because you think he’ll try to take him or something?”

“I don’t think Cade would ever do something like that.”

“Tell me then. Tell me what’s going on in your head. Help me understand because right now I think you’re certifiably insane for not wanting to go out with that man.”

“That's just it. I do want to go out with him, I just don’t want to admit it.”

“Why not?”

“Because I like him far more than I should. We had one date over three years ago. But it felt like so much more.”

“Is that why you ran off in the middle of the night?”

“Yeah, maybe. I was scared.”

“Well, I think you should find out now. He could be good for you, everything you’ve ever looked for. He could be good for that adorable nephew of mine. He is half his after all.”

“It pains me greatly to say this, but I know you’re right.”

“I’m always right. My only word of warning is to keep a low profile. He’s a paparazzi magnet, and if you don’t keep a low profile, they’ll find you and be all over you.”

“There’s still one other thing,” I admit.

“What’s that?”

“What if I tell him about Alan, and he’s furious? That scares me more than anything.”

Ashley reaches her hand over and squeezes mine. “He does deserve to know. And if he’s angry, would you blame him?”

“No,” I say. “He’d have every right to be.”

“Well, have dinner with him. Feel the situation out, and go with your instincts. That’s all you can do,” she assures me.

We finish our drinks, and Ashley tells me more about her upcoming show and the painting I interrupted her working on earlier. Before long, I leave to pick Alan up from my parents and head home. I have dinner with my son and then it is bath time for him. We play with cars in the floor of his bedroom for an hour and then settle into his bed where I read to him until he falls asleep. I kiss his forehead and tiptoe from the room, leaving the door cracked open as I retreat to my bedroom.

I am sitting on my bed, staring at my phone, teetering with the idea of canceling my date with Cade, when it chimes with an incoming text message.

Dinner tomorrow at 7? I can pick you up.

I’m not ready for him to know where I live, so I reply with, Send me the address and I’ll meet you there.

You promise you won’t stand me up? he asks.

I promise. I’ll see you tomorrow night, Cade.

I can hardly wait. Goodnight, Serena.

 

 

Chapter 15

Cade

After my encounter with Serena in her office, I didn’t sleep for crap. I never got like this before a big game, so why are there so many emotions going through me now? I wonder. I’m anxious and nervous about my date with Serena, but I’m excited, too. I still have no clue what possessed me to drive to USC and basically stalk her, but I’m glad I did. She’s still everything I remember and then some. Best part, even though she now knows who I am, she still isn’t affected by it. Maybe that’s why I’m nervous. She’s not like any other woman I’ve been out with. And, I want this to be perfect. Oddly enough, for the first time in my adult life, I want to impress a woman.

I’ve had ideas spinning in my head since last night. This morning, I got the idea of taking her to a really upscale place that is always impressive, and so I called to make a reservation for us.

I’m still feeling antsy, though, even after making solid plan. Despite it being early, I head into my closet to pick out something to wear and after thirty minutes of back and forth with myself, I finally settle on something. I check the clock to see I still have two hours before I need to head in to work. Plenty of time for a long shower and breakfast before making the drive to the studio where the show is filmed when we’re not on location.

Driving in to work only gives me more time to stress out over tonight. I need to stop. On second thought, what I need is to talk to somebody about Serena. Sadly, the number of real friends in my life are few. There is one person, though. Tyler. I know I can spill my guts to him, and he’ll give me honest feedback. He’s the last person I ever thought I’d call my best friend had you asked me a few years ago.

Tyler Washington was my biggest rival on the field, playing for the Condors biggest rival: the Vipers. We were drafted the same year, me with the first pick, Tyler with the second. He won the Super Bowl first – which absolutely killed me – but in the end, I won it more times. I hated the guy, even still when he retired the year before me.

When I was approached about doing a weekly commentary show after I announced my own retirement, I was excited, until they told me that Tyler and I were going to be hosting together. I came so close to turning it down, until our producer convinced me to sit down and meet him, one on one, and make a decision with fresh eyes and look at Tyler as a partner in this, not a rival. Switching off game mode was hard, but I did sit down for that lunch with Tyler and surprisingly, we hit it off. He’s still a cocky SOB, but I know I can always count on him for advice when I need it.

I park in my designated spot at the studio and head inside, greeting staff and security guards as I go. After a quick spin in the makeup chair and through the wardrobe department for my suit, I take a seat in the green room, going over our producer's notes for this week, as well as my own while I await Ty’s arrival.

Fifteen minutes pass before Tyler walks in and he smiles easily in greeting. “Hey, man. You’re early.” Tyler is always here before me; I am usually pulling in just ten minutes before we film.

“I broke up with Josephine,” I blurt out.

“Yeah, you do that about every two weeks, what’s new?”

“No, I did it for real, for good.”

Tyler studies me for a long minute before he says anything else. “You’re serious.”

“Dead serious,” I confirm.

“It took you long enough. That girl is nothing but trouble. You can do better. Hell, you deserve better. She’s only ever been after you because you’re a household name. She could care less about your likes and dislikes, so long as you’re famous and she gets to show up on your arm.”

“It was so fake. And annoying. I hated all the premieres she dragged me to. Half of those movies were awful.”

“You need someone down to earth and real, who sees the you that no one else gets to see.”

“Yeah, well, we’re not all lucky enough to find that in high school and marry her.”

“Yep, I’m pretty lucky.”

“How did you know, that Tamara was the one?”

“I don’t know that there was any one thing that made me know. It was just a feeling, and I knew. I know how fortunate I am to have found someone that doesn’t give a shit about the fame or the money. She just loves me, flaws and all. It’s not easy, but it’s out there.”

“That’s all I want, someone who loves me for me...and I think maybe I found someone.”

“Come again? You think you found someone? When? How? Who?”

“Her name is Serena, and we met a month after I won my last Super Bowl.”

“You’ve known her this long and have never mentioned her?”

“Well, I had one night with her, and she snuck out on me. I haven’t seen her since, not until last week when I saw her on TV. She’s a professor at USC, and yesterday, I showed up in her class, and then found her in her office and asked her out.”

“So, what you’re saying is that you barely know this girl.”

“I know it sounds like I’m saying that, but that one night was hours of talking and getting to know each other. She had no idea who I was and it was so nice to just be Cade Thomas and not Cade Thomas football player, you know? I felt something different with her, but she was gone before it could even begin.”

“You think she sees you for you?”

“She did that night, and even yesterday she didn’t seem fazed about my celebrity.”

“I’m happy that you think you found someone, but do you even know how to be in a healthy relationship?”

“No, but that’s why I’m friends with you.”

“I’m going to be honest with you, then. If you think that this Serena woman is someone you want to have something with long term, if you want this to be a true and healthy relationship and not at all like what you had with Josephine, then you should take things slow and really show her you’re looking for something more, something with substance.

“Because let’s face it: your love life has been plastered on the front of every magazine for the last four years, and she might not buy into anything that comes out of your mouth. You have to prove to her that it’s not just about a quick fuck and that it is more than that. If you can do that, then maybe this has a shot. But you also need to prepare yourself for rejection. Whatever happens happens...but I’ll be rooting for you.”

We’re called to set and as I follow Tyler out, I replay his words in my head, knowing he’s right. I have to prove to Serena that she means more if I want this to last. Attraction is one thing, and I already know we can be great together. This time though I need to court her before any of the other stuff happens. This time I’m going to do it right, and I’m going to win the girl.

Because I always play to win.

 

 

Chapter 16

Serena

The day passes by slowly, not at all surprising since I find myself checking the clock every five minutes.

I am nervous about seeing Cade, but I am also terribly giddy about it. Despite my reservations, I remember him to be a sweet, charming, and kind man. It has been a long time since my last date, though, and I worry about embarrassing myself, especially with someone like Cade. Before it was easy because I had no idea who he was and I didn't notice the stares.

Now is different. Now I know he’s Cade Thomas, football superstar, and the looks cannot be missed. His love life has filled gossip sites in the time since our meeting, and I wonder how I could possibly measure up to the others he’s been seen with.

I try not to think about that too much and instead focus on the date itself. I haven’t been out on a date in so long since I didn’t date anyone once I found out I was pregnant. I met one guy early in my first trimester, but it just didn’t feel right, being with someone while being pregnant with another man’s kid. Instead, I focused on taking the best care of myself for the baby. Ashley was with me every step of the way, doing prenatal yoga, as my Lamaze coach, the works. She was amazing and has spoiled Alan since before he was born.

It’s been great having my sister to count on through it all, but around the time Alan turned one, I felt a bit like something was missing. I went out on a few dates, but each either ended in disaster or with the guy never calling again once I told him I had a child. My last date was around the time Alan was two, and he turned three last month. It’s a long time to be deliberately celibate, but no one has felt right. It’s been as if a piece was missing that I can’t quite place.

After my day of teaching ends, I hurry home to spend a little bit of time with Alan. Ashley arrives around four, and I hop in the shower to start getting ready. When I get out of the shower, I find my sister in my bedroom rooting through my closet.

“What are you doing?” I ask her.

“Trying to find you something to wear. I knew I should have brought something from my place.”

“I would never wear your clothes on a date.”

“Everything you own is so matronly, though.”

“My clothes are not matronly. Besides, I was going to just wear some nice jeans and boots with a cute top and a sweater.”

“Where is he taking you?”

I name a place I’m unfamiliar with and Ashley’s jaw drops. “Serena, that is one of the hardest restaurants to get into. There is no way you can wear jeans; you have to dress up.”

She disappears into my closet, and I hear her after a minute call out excitedly. “I found something! Oh my God, it’s perfect.” She thrusts the outfit at me. “Put it on!”

“I can’t wear this; it’ll be too tight.” This is a sleeveless black jumpsuit I bought six months ago with a keyhole detail at the neckline.

She waves away my concern. “It will look amazing. Get dressed while I pick out jewelry.”

She is back inside my closet before I can respond. I know that arguing with my sister is a futile cause, so instead, I set out to put on the outfit she has picked. When she emerges again, I am dressed, and she has a gold belt, black and nude patterned heels, gold hoop earrings, and gold and wood bangles in hand. She sets it all down on the bed and looks me over.

“How are you going to wear your hair?”

“Loose waves?”

She nods her approval. “I like it. Do you want me to do your makeup?”

“Yes, please.”

When she’s finished with my makeup, Ashley steps out to make Alan some dinner while I work on my hair. A little after six, I emerge from my bedroom and into the living room where Ashley and Alan are playing. When she looks up at me, Ashley whistles.

“You look hot, Sis.”

“It’s not too much?” I ask, self-consciously touching my hair.

“Mommy, you pretty,” Alan says.

“Thanks, baby.” I kiss the top of his head.

“It’s not too much. It’s gonna knock Cade to his ass.”

“Aunt Ashley say bad word, Mommy,” Alan says with wide eyes.

“Aunt Ashley owes a dollar to the swear jar, doesn’t she, bud?” He nods solemnly.

“Sorry, little guy,” Ashley tells him as she gets up, grabbing a bill from her purse and stuffing it in the jar. “I put in five in case I forget anymore tonight.”

“Call me if you need anything, okay?” I tell my sister.

“We’ll be fine, Serena. I’ve done this hundreds of times.”

“I know; I’m just nervous.”

“You have nothing to worry about. It’s gonna be great. I’ll be up waiting to hear all about it when you get home. Now get going or you’ll be late.”

“Okay, I’m going.” I squat down to my son’s level and kiss his cheek. “Be good for Aunt Ashley, okay?”

“Okay, Mommy.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, Mommy.”

I stand with a smile as Alan turns his attention back to his cars. I grab the waist-length leather jacket Ashley bought me for my birthday from the closet and throw it on before I pick up my purse and move a few necessities over to the clutch I’m planning to carry.

In my car, I put the address to the restaurant in my GPS and follow the directions until I am across town and pulling up to a valet stand. I turn my car over to the young man who opens my door and turn for the door.

Cade steps out from the shadows, and my mouth goes dry. He is as gorgeous as I remember, and even better, wearing an immaculately tailored navy suit and white dress shirt with no tie, the first couple of buttons undone. He drinks me in and a thrill shoots through me at the way his eyes roam over me.

“Hi,” I say shyly.

He smiles. “You look beautiful.”

I blush. “Thank you.”

“Shall we?”

I nod and let him hold the door so I can enter first. He places a hand on the small of my back to guide me and gives his name to the hostess, who trips over herself when she realizes who is standing in front of her. I ignore her as Cade is nothing but polite, his hand steady as we are led to a table. He pulls my chair out, and I sit and the hostess leaves, promising a waiter will be over shortly.

“Ashley says this place is nearly impossible to get into,” I say when we are alone. “You must be pretty special to have pulled this off.”

He chuckles. “The owner owed me a favor.”

I nod. “Well, it is very nice. I’m just glad Ash told me because I was going to wear jeans.”

“I’m sure you’d look just as beautiful in jeans.”

Our waiter appears and Cade orders a bottle of wine. While he is gone, we both take a moment to look over our menus. When he returns, he pours us each a glass before taking our orders. After he leaves, Cade asks me about exoplanet surveys. I am impressed that he remembers my telling him that I was involved in a research group back when we first met. I try to explain it to him as best I can how we search the skies beyond our solar system for other planets that orbit stars. While he doesn't understand the details nuances of what I do, he does get the basics and is versed enough to keep up with the conversation. It is a nice change of pace, being on a date with someone who is interested in what I do, and not just asking for the show of it.

I ask him about what he’s doing since he retired, and he tells me about his commentary show. I can tell it makes him happy, which is nice to see because I remember how lost he seemed when we met. The conversation flows very naturally between us as our meals arrive.

“Can I ask you something?” Cade asks as we start to eat.

“Of course.”

“After that night, when did you figure out who I was?”

“It was when you announced your retirement a few weeks later. It’s all anyone was talking about, and you were on the front of the paper and every news channel. Was that hard, making the decision to retire?”

“I thought it would be, but it ended up being a pretty easy decision to make. It made me feel like a weight had been taken off my shoulders; I felt free.”

“I imagine being you can be hard.”

“It has its moments. I got to do something I loved for a very long time and make a nice living out of it, so I really can’t complain.” She nods. “Can I ask you something else?”

“Go ahead.”

“Why didn’t you seek me out after you figured out who I was?”

“Honestly, I just wasn’t looking for a relationship then. I’m still not sure if I am. Just because you were you didn’t change the fact that it wasn’t what I wanted. Plus, to be fair, you are you and I’m just...me. What would a superstar athlete need with a nerdy astrophysicist, anyway?”

It is a truth I don’t want to face, and there is so much unspoken in my words that even I’m not willing to face my own fears and demons.

“What about your son? Does he love science like his mom?”

“He likes when I do the fun experiments with him. His favorite is when we make fake snot.”

Cade laughs. “Fake snot?”

“It’s gelatin and corn syrup. It’s like the sugar and protein mucus is made of, and you can see how it gets to be sticky and capable of stretching. And of course, he likes when I mix baking soda and vinegar together.”

“How old is he?” Cade asks.

“He’s three.”

“He sounds like a smart kid. I hope I get to meet him sometime.”

I panic a little inside at the thought and make a noncommittal noise. “Tell me more about your football career. I only know what the internet says.”

We settle back into safe topics and away from any mention of Alan. Cade laughs when I tell him science jokes, and I realize that I haven’t had this much with anyone, let alone on a date with a man in years. I wasn’t sure what to expect going into this date, but Cade has been a gentleman all evening, and I’m impressed. More than that, I find myself looking forward to when I might see him next.

 

 

Chapter 17

Cade

A week after our second first date, I take Serena out to a hole in the wall dive that I frequent when I want to fly under the radar. I’ve gotten to know the owner and his wife over the years. They’ve owned the place for over thirty years and know every regular by name. I’m glad to count myself among them. No one there has ever treated me as anything but a regular guy when I come in, and I appreciate that I can relax and avoid any crowds when I’m at Fred’s.

Bill and Linda take pity on me when they see me arrive with a date and put us in a booth in the back to keep us out of sight of anyone that might come in that isn’t a regular customer. I appreciate the gesture, telling myself that I’ll leave an extra generous tip for their kindness.

Serena and I have been out three times in the past week and I have enjoyed reconnecting with her. There have been chaste kisses at the end of the night, but nothing more than that. I thought it would be difficult to heed Tyler’s advice to not push sex too quickly, but it has been easier than I expected because I just enjoy being with her and talking and laughing so much.

“So, I was thinking,” I start to say as we finish our meal. “Maybe I could meet Alan sometime? From everything you’ve said, he sounds like a great kid.”

“You want to meet Alan?” I hear the surprise in her voice.

“Well, yeah. He’s your son, and he’s a huge part of your life. We’re dating; don’t you think I should get to know him, too?”

“I don’t know, Cade.”

Her hesitation is written all over her face, and I want to try and smooth it over and make her feel comfortable with the idea. I’m picturing all these things I want to do with this woman, but we can’t move forward if she doesn’t want to introduce me to her son. There can’t be an us if it doesn’t include Alan because I know – and I’m sure she knows, too – that we will run its course and burn out faster than I know I want it to if she doesn’t feel like she can include me with the two of them.

“It’s up to you. I love kids, and I want to meet him, but only if you're comfortable with that.” She doesn’t say anything, so I continue. “I like you, Serena, and I’m pretty sure you like me, too, but how can we continue if you don’t feel like you can introduce me to your son? He’s your everything, I know, and I’d like to meet the little man that holds the key to your heart.”

“Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow I’m taking Alan to the mall to see Santa. Why don’t you meet us there?”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, I’d like for you to meet Alan.”

I grab her hands and bring them to my lips, kissing her knuckles softly. “I’m really looking forward to tomorrow now.”

***

With just a week until Christmas, the mall is packed. This might not have been the best plan, but I am going to do everything in my power to keep this low key and above all else, normal. I worry that I will fail at going incognito, but I try my best, pulling a hat down low and putting on sunglasses. I took great care to make sure that I’m not wearing any Condors gear to remove another layer of who I am.

Serena and I agreed to meet in the food court, and I spot her quickly. I wave as I approach, and she stands up with a smile.

“Hi,” she greets me.

“Hey.” I’m not sure if it’s okay to hug her, so I don’t. Instead, I turn towards the little boy peeking out at me from behind Serena. “Hello,” I say to him.

“Alan, this is my friend, Cade. Can you say hello?” Serena said quietly to him.

“Hi,” the little boy says shyly.

“Cade is going to go with us to see Santa. How does that sound?”

“Santa!” he cheers excitedly.

Serena and I laugh at his enthusiasm. She has a small stroller that is folded and has a strap that she places over her shoulder. She takes one of his hands in hers and I fall into step beside her as we head for the middle of the mall where Santa awaits.

Once we have make it to the line, I see immediately that we will have a bit of a wait. I try to get Alan to warm up to me so I start out asking him how old he is and if he likes doing science with his mommy. He starts to tell me about making fake snot with Serena, and I smile as I listen to him. I ask him if he likes the preschool he goes to, and he tells me that he likes to play with the trucks there.

“Do you play sports?”

“Mommy doesn’t play sports. But I like football. We play football at school.”

“Can I tell you secret?” I ask, squatting down so I am eye level with Alan. He nods solemnly. “I used to play football. Maybe we can play together sometime.”

His eyes grow wide and he looks up at Serena. “Can we, Mommy? Can I play football with Mr. Cade?”

“We’ll see, baby. Look, it’s almost our turn.”

I’m not sure if I overstepped, and I catch Serena’s eye, mouthing the word sorry. She shakes her head and squeezes my hand, but I’m still not sure if it’s okay or not. Santa’s helper motions Alan forward, and he heads straight for the Santa and crawls into his lap. As soon as Santa asks him what he wants for Christmas, Alan begins listing off a plethora of toys I’ve never heard of. I think he’s run out things to name when he stops, but then he speaks again.

“Oh, and a giant stuffed panda like Molly has. That’s all I really want, Santa. I love pandas.”

The mall Santa Claus chuckles and whispers something to Alan whose eyes light up. I find my heart melting. This kid is cuter than words can describe, and I realize that not only have I fallen for his mom, but I’ve fallen for her son, as well.

After a photo with Santa is taken, Serena loads Alan into his stroller, telling me he will probably fall asleep quickly, and we walk through the mall. Alan oohs and ahhs over all the decorations, and then he’s asleep, just as Serena predicted.

“I really want to buy him the huge stuffed panda that he asked Santa for. Would that be okay?” I ask her.

“That’s fine, as long as you know I'm gonna tell him it’s from Santa.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything different.” We head out into the parking lot, and I walk with her towards her car. “I had fun today. Maybe next time we could go to a family friendly restaurant, all three of us.”

“I’m sorry?” she says, looking up at me sharply.

“Is that not okay? I liked spending time with the both of you, and I just want to get know you and Alan both. I thought maybe next time we have a date it could be the three of us.”

“I don’t know, Cade. This was a big step today, and I don’t to rush anything or confuse Alan. He’s never had a father.”

“Where is his dad?”

She looks away. “That’s personal.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I overstepped. I just want you to know that I’m serious, about both of you, that’s all.”

“I know, Cade.”

“I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Let me think about it.”

“I can live with that.” We reach her car, and I kiss her cheek. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

“I’ll call you tonight.”

I turn to leave, but stop and look back at her. “Serena?”

“Yes?”

“Whoever Alan’s dad is, he’s an idiot for leaving a woman like you behind, for not being a part of that kid’s life. You’re raising a good one, Serena, and I’m proud to know you.”

 

 

Chapter 18

Serena

 

The days before Christmas pass in a blur as I buy the last few presents I need and everything I need for Christmas dinner bought from the grocery store.

I haven’t seen Cade since he joined Alan and I at the mall, but we’ve talked and texted every day. Everything has been great between us since we reconnected. Our relationship has been easy and has had no pressure to take it to another level. Cade has been sweet, and I’ve enjoyed getting to know him so much better. I can admit that I was wrong in my assumptions when he showed up in my lecture, and while I am still cautious, I know that I am falling fast.

Alan puts out cookies and milk for Santa on Christmas Eve, and after he falls asleep, I stay up wrapping the last of his presents and putting them under the tree. I fill his stocking and my own, and one for Ashley, too, who is joining us in the morning. In another room, I’ve hidden one last present, the one from Cade, with a tag reading “From Santa.”

I feel like I have barely fallen asleep when Alan is in my room, tugging my hand.

“Wake up, Mommy, wake up. Santa came!” His eyes are wide and bright, and I find myself smiling at his wondrous joy. I get up and let him lead me to the living room where he simply gawks at the pile of presents, oohing and aahing over all the brightly-wrapped gifts. Somehow, I manage to corral him to the kitchen for some breakfast while we wait for Ashley to arrive.

When she rings the doorbell before letting herself inside twenty minutes later, Alan runs from the room to tackle his aunt around the knees in a hug. “Aunt Ashley, Santa was here!”

She gasps in surprise. “Really? Do you think he left me anything?”

“You don’t live here, Aunt Ashley!” Alan laughs.

“I wrote him though and told him I’d be here with you. Should we go open them?”

“Yes, yes, yes! Open presents!”

“Go have a seat on the floor, and we’ll open presents,” I tell him. ““But let’s see what’s in our stockings first.”

Alan runs to the living room and sits near the tree, and Ashley stretches out across the couch. I grab and hand out the three stockings. Alan immediately dumps it out on the floor and rummages through all the little goodies I’ve stuffed in there. I’ve put girly things like lotion in Ashley’s, as well a stash of her favorite paint brushes, and she thanks me. I sit down in a chair beside the tree and start to pass out the presents to Alan.

It’s so much fun now that he can open his own presents and get excited over them. The clothes I’ve given him are quickly discarded over his shoulder after opening them which makes Ashley and I laugh. She gathers them up and puts them into a pile. There are books, which I’m so happy he loves, and toys. So many toys. After everything is unwrapped, I stand up. “Alan, Santa brought you one more present, but I need you to close your eyes while I go get it, okay?”

He nods expectantly before I leave the room, coming back with the huge stuffed panda. Ashley looks up at me with a questioning look as I set it down. I shake my head and give her a look that promises to explain when there are not little ears present. The panda is bigger than I am, and I know it is going to engulf Alan, but I also know he is going to love it. I toss Ashley my phone to record the moment and tell Alan to open his eyes.

There is a loud, piercing scream and then Alan is throwing himself at the panda bear. “He got him! Santa got me my panda!”

I feel tears prick my eyes at my son’s excitement. I can’t believe how happy a giant stuffed toy makes him, and I can’t wait to share the video with Cade. The thought sobers me, especially since I haven’t told Cade the truth about Alan. I don’t know how to even go about telling him. It just isn’t as simple as “hey, meet your kid.”

“Mommy, Santa remembered.”

“Yes, he did, baby.”

“Mommy?”

“Yes, sweetie?”

“Do you remember when we saw Santa?”

“Yes.”

“I liked your friend that came. I like that he gonna play football with me. When can we play football with Mr. Cade?”

I see Ashley’s eyebrow shoot up. I haven’t told my sister that I let Cade meet Alan yet. “I don’t know, Alan, but I’ll talk to him and see if he can play sometime.”

“Okay, Mommy,” he says happily before dragging the panda bear to the other side of the room to play with.

“Cade met Alan?” Ashley asks quietly as we gather the presents we got for each other. We sit down on the couch facing each other so we can open them.

I nod. “Last week. He asked if he could meet him, and he met us at the mall when I took Alan to see Santa. He heard Alan ask for the panda bear and asked if he could buy it for him. I told him he could, but that I was going to tell Alan it was from Santa.”

“He was okay with that? I mean, he is his father.”

I look over at Alan, who has curled up on the stuffed animal and has fallen asleep. “I haven’t told him,” I sigh.

“What?!”

“Shhh!” I quiet her, but Alan doesn’t stir. “I don’t know how to tell him. It’s been me and Alan for so long...and now this thing with Cade. It’s complicated, Ashley. I just can’t drop it on him.”

“You’ve been talking and going out for almost a month now, Serena. You’re hiding it in plain sight now that he’s met Alan. Wouldn’t you rather tell him the truth than have him figure it out on his own?”

“How do I tell him, though? I do feel terrible for not telling him. I mean, you should have seen him with Alan, Ash. He was so good, talking to him and keeping him entertained while we were waiting. I couldn’t believe how good he was, to be honest.”

“Now imagine that if he knew Alan was his.”

“I know, I know. And, Alan hasn’t stopped talking about Cade, either. It’s just... How do we go from just the two of us to us plus Cade? It’s so weird. I never thought I’d ever see him again, that he’d be any part of my life after that one night. I know I should tell him, that it isn’t fair to him and it especially isn’t fair to Alan. He deserves a dad, but I can’t just assume that Cade wants to be a dad.”

“Be honest. After Cade met Alan, how was he? Was he different, has he been distant with you?”

“No. Actually, he wants our next date to be the three of us at a family restaurant.”

“Serena, what are you worried about? He likes you and Alan. Just go for it and tell him the truth. You’ll feel better. I can tell it’s eating at you.”

“I need a plan.”

“Then let’s make one. We’ve got all day. But first let’s open these presents.”

***

I get a text from Cade midafternoon wishing me a Merry Christmas. I’m so caught up cooking with Ashley and Alan, though, that I don’t answer until several hours later after Ashley heads home with leftovers and I get Alan to bed. I send Cade the video of Alan with the present he got for him along with my message.

“Merry Christmas. Sorry it took so long; we were cooking. I just got Alan down for the night.”

His reply comes back almost immediately. “It’s okay. I’m sure it was a hectic day for you. I just got home myself.”

“You were with Tyler, right?” I text back.

“Yeah. And his wife and their kids. We should double date with them sometime. I think you’d really like Tamara.”

“That sounds nice. I’d like to meet your friends,” I reply

“Ty is pretty much my only friend. I was kind of a hotshot in my playing days,” he sends.

“You’re still kind of a hotshot,” I tease, adding an emoticon with its tongue sticking out.

“I see how it is,” he teases back, then changes the tone of our conversation. “The video is great, by the way. I’m glad Alan liked his gift.”

“He loves it, Cade. Thank you for thinking of him. You didn’t have to do that,” I reply.

“Well, I wanted to.”

“He fell asleep on it earlier. It was so cute.”

“And, you didn’t send me a picture?” he asks.

“I have one. I’ll send it in a minute.”

“What did you think of your present?”

I blush as I trace a finger over the delicate bangle on my wrist. The man affects me even when he’s not by my side. A little after noon, my doorbell had rung, and I was surprised to find a delivery man on the other side with the wrapped gift and card. The card had been sweet, and I had gasped at the iconic blue Tiffany’s box when I unwrapped the gift. The white gold bracelet with round diamonds dotting their way around was a simple but elegant piece. It wasn’t showy, a gesture that let me know without words that Cade gets me.

“It’s beautiful, thank you, but you didn’t have to get me anything.”

“I know, but I wanted to.”

“I feel bad because I didn’t get you a gift.”

“Don’t. When I was out buying Alan’s panda, I saw it the in the store window and it just reminded me of you. It was an impulse buy. I am glad you like it, though.”

“I love it, Cade. I’m wearing it now. I might not ever take it off. I’ve never owned something so beautiful.”

“Hearing you say that is present enough. You deserve to be spoiled, and I enjoy spoiling you. I suggest you just let me. It’ll be easier for you and for me,” he messages and ends with a winky face.

“I’m not used to that,” I inform him.

“You’ll have to get used to it. You deserve it, and I intend to, in case you hadn’t figured that out.”

“You’re too much, Cade Thomas.”

“It’s possible I’ve been told that once or twice,” he texts, adding a smile. “I hate to cut this short, but I have to be up early to film the show in the morning, so I better get some sleep. I missed you today, by the way.”

“I missed you, too,” I reply.

“We’re still on for next week, right?” he asks.

“Yep. Ashley is going to watch Alan.”

“Cool. I’ll call you tomorrow. Maybe we can grab lunch or something.”

“I’d like that. Goodnight, Cade.”

“Sweet dreams, Serena.”

I smile as I put the phone on the table by my bed and can’t help but think about him as I get ready to turn in.

 

 

Chapter 19

Cade

In the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, I only see Serena once. I find myself missing her when I’m not with her, and the little pang in my heart makes me think that I’ve been missing out on something in my life for a very long time. I want to take her out on New Year’s Eve for a night she’ll never forget, but finding something that feels right proves harder than I expected.

I end up deciding to take Serena to a New Year's Eve party that the Condors are having for a night of dancing and revelry. Even though I’m not on the team anymore, I’m still invited to the Condors’ big party they throw each year as an alumnus of the team. Even though I’ve been retired for a few years now, I am still one of the faces of the organization, and I enjoy doing community outreach with the team still.

I know it will be someplace that I can take Serena without fear of paparazzi or other club goers snapping our picture and sending it to XYZ, the most popular gossip site around that has plastered countless pictures of me and Josephine or whatever flavor of the week passed through my life. I know we have been lucky that no one has snapped any pictures of Serena and me since we started seeing each other, and I’d like to keep it that way for as long as I can.

The last several weeks with Serena have been so beyond words. I feel like we have really connected on a level I’ve never connected with another woman before, and it is simply amazing. I realize now that the ease of our relationship is something I crave, especially after the back and forth rollercoaster Josephine and I were on for all those years. This feels like an actual adult relationship, and I couldn’t be happier. It’s also incredible to me that we still haven’t had sex and that I’m one hundred percent okay with that. When Tyler told me I should wait and we should take our time, I thought he was a little nuts. Truth is, though, it was the best advice I’ve ever received.

I pick Serena up at her place, and she greets me at the door with a smile, letting me inside. She excuses herself to grab her shoes, explaining as she goes that Alan is spending the night at Ashley’s. 

I watch her walk. Her little black dress ends just above the knee and is straight with a slit on the left side. The dress is off her shoulders and the sleeves end in a ruffle just past her elbows. It is simple and understated, elegant, but she looks sexy as hell and I feel my dick tighten just looking at her. Especially when she pushes her hair back, exposing all that sweet delicate skin of her neck and collarbone.

When Serena returns to the room wearing a pair of glittery silver heels and the bracelet I gave her for Christmas, I tell myself that I need to send Ashley a thank you present for tonight.

It doesn’t take us too long to reach the hotel where the party is being held and I happily escort Serena inside, catching all the looks being shot in her direction and the looks the other men I know shoot me. I feel proud to have her on my arm and I know that there is no way I want to ever mess this up.

We mingle with the team's owner and the coaching staff for a few minutes before we sit down for dinner. I’m seated with a few other former teammates who make me look good, and I consider sending them all fruit baskets or something for all the talking up of me they’ve done. After dinner we dance for hours, and at midnight we share a kiss that curls my toes. If we were in a romantic movie, it would have been a foot pop kind of moment.

About an hour after midnight, Serena and I leave the party for my place. The car ride is quiet, but it’s a comfortable silence that I always thought would drive me crazy. Turns out, I just needed the right person in my life to share the silence with.

I let us inside my house and Serena kicks off her heels at the door before making her way to the living room. Her killer little black dress is at the same time understated and sexy, and I am happy to watch her walk away, the light in the house catching the silver bracelet on her wrist. I follow, after taking off my own shoes, to find her on the end of the couch, feet curled underneath her with a smile on her face.

“Thank you for tonight,” she tells me. “I haven’t been out for New Year’s in so long, and I had such a wonderful time.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. I was worried it’d be too much football talk.”

“Oh no, it wasn’t,” she assures me. “I was more worried the other women wouldn't be nice to be honest, but everyone was lovely and so nice. Now I can’t wait to meet Tyler and Tamara.”

“I can’t wait for you to meet them, either,” I grin. Even though it’s comfortable in the house, I reach for a remote that turns on the fireplace. “Is this okay?”

“Of course.”

I click a button and a fire roars to life. I scoot closer to her, and she settles in under my arm.

“Sometimes I miss having a white Christmas,” I admit to her.

“Do you promise not to laugh if I tell you something?”

I hold my pinky up to her. “Pinky promise.”

She hooks her pinky around mine. “I was convinced for half of my childhood that snow was just something they made up for TV.”

I can’t help the laughter that bubbles up, and she glares at me. “You pinky promised!”

“I’m sorry, babe. I can't help it.”

“I was just a kid, maybe five. I didn’t understand why it never snowed here, and my dad told me it was just a special effect on TV. I think I was in middle school before I learned about the weather and found out it was a real thing.”

“I loved the snow when I was young, but around the time I hit high school, I started dreaming about going to college somewhere it never snowed, which is part of the reason I chose California. I wanted to live someplace where it was warm because it was so cold so much of the year in Chicago. I miss it sometimes but for the most part, I’m pretty happy about not living in a winter wonderland anymore.”

“I bet Alan would love the snow,” she muses thoughtfully.

“Maybe we can go to Chicago sometime. To be honest, I wouldn’t mind getting snowed in somewhere with you.”

She snuggles in a little closer. “That doesn't sound so bad. Snowed in, just the two of us and a roaring fire.”

“And if we couldn't build a fire, we can just snuggle like this for warmth. Naked, of course, for the body heat.

She shivers at my words and looks up at me. “I don’t think I’d mind that even if we weren’t snowed in,” she whispers.

My heart stops for a second as the blood rushes to my head. I’m pretty sure that was an invitation, but even still, I lean down tentatively and brush my lips against hers. She responds back immediately, pressing into me, rubbing her little body against mine as we continue to kiss. I pick her up and settle her across my lap, her thighs straddling mine. She moves so her core presses against my dick, begging to be let out of the confines of the dress pants I’m wearing. Her fingers move swiftly to unbutton the shirt I am wearing, and then her hands are running up and down my chest. I reach behind her and unzip her dress, my hands roaming the skin of her back.

A moan escapes her as she rubs against my erection, and I dip my fingers between her legs, feeling the dampness on the front of her panties. “You’re so wet for me,” I murmur into her ear. I brush my fingers against the lacy fabric, and she moves against them with another moan.

“Cade...” Her eyes flutter shut and then open to look at me. “I’m... I’m on the pill. I mean...you don’t need a condom, if you don’t want to...” She trails off awkwardly

I chuckle. “Noted,” I tell her, grabbing her chin between my fingers. I steer her mouth to mine and kiss her, but she pulls back and looks at me nervously.

“I just mean I’m clean. I haven’t been with anyone in over a year so...” she trails off again.

I groan. “Babe, you’re gonna be so tight.” She blushes and looks away. “Hey,” I say, tilting her face back to mine. “I trust you. You don’t have to tell me that stuff.” She wraps her legs around me when I stand. “I’m going to take you to my bedroom and worship you, like I told you that you deserve to be. And don’t you dare stop making any of the noises you were just making, got it?”

She nods, and I kiss her. It’s heaven to kiss her, our mouths moving as one. I could kiss her for hours and not get bored, I decide. I start to walk, and she presses into me, wrapping her arms around my neck tighter and kissing her way along my neck to my collarbone. I stutter out a breath when she nips me there, and I press her back into the wall.

I push the sleeves of her dress down her arms to expose her breasts to me. I have one leg wedged between hers, and she’s grinding her pussy against my straining thigh. I bend my head to lavish her tits with some attention, return the little nip, and she gasps before moaning my name. I love every sound she makes, and my memory is flooded with our one night years ago. I want to know if it is everything I remember.

I readjust my grip on her and step backwards; she presses her breasts to my chest, her nipples rubbing against me as we move. I take the stairs as quickly as I can, desperate to get my hands and mouth on every possible inch of her.

I stop just outside my bedroom and look at her. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything, Cade.”

 

 

Chapter 20

Serena

Cade sets me down in front of his bed, and I let my dress fall the rest of the way off my arms and it pools at my feet. I step out of it, left only in a lacy black thong. He steps back and pushes off his dress shirt before unbuttoning his pants and letting them fall to his feet, kicking them out of the way. He turns me so my back is pressed to his chest, and he has one arm wrapped around me, the other pushing my hair aside and tilting my head back to him.

As we kiss, his hand slips from my waist to the front of my panties. I still as one finger teases just under the waistband and then gasp as he delves inside my panties, one thick finger running up my wet slit. He works one finger inside of me and then a second, and I moan loudly as he lazily pumps his fingers in and out of my pussy.

He brings me close to the edge before pulling back, and I wiggle my ass against his crotch to try and bring him closer. He chuckles as he lets go of me, stepping around in front of me and kneeling. Slowly, he drags my panties down my thighs, leaving a trail of soft kisses that set my skin on fire. I reach for his boxer briefs when he stands, but he escapes and spins me, drawing my back to his front again. I feel his cock straining against his dress pants as I press my ass into him.

“Serena,” he breathes out with a groan.

“Please, Cade,” I beg, grabbing his hand and placing it over my wet heat. He dips one finger inside me, and my head rolls back on his chest as his name falls from my lips. I whimper when he removes his finger, but them he is circling my clit. I am so close, and I tell him so. I can feel his smirk as he pumps one finger in and out of me, while he uses the other hand to continue the firm strokes of my clit. I feel my orgasm building, and without warning it bursts as I shout his name.

“Cade!”

He withdraws his finger from me and wraps his arm around my waist, taking me over the edge as my hips writhe against him, his thumb pressing my clit.

“Oh, God,” I moan.

“I’ve never been so turned on by a woman coming before,” he says close to my ear. I turn and put my arms around his neck, kissing him hotly.

“Bed,” I tell him, reaching for his underwear again. He escapes me and picks me up, laying me out on the bed instead. I sit up on my elbows to watch as he slowly pulls his underwear off, drinking in every inch of him. Cade flexes, and I whistle before dissolving into giggles as he covers my body with his.

His cock brushes my opening, and he groans. “So wet for me.”

“Only you,” I whispered. I reach between us and wrap my hand around him to pump him several times. “I think you’re bigger than last time.”

“Still the same, I promise.”

“I don’t know how you’re going to fit.”

“We figured it out once, we’ll figure it out again.”

I continue to stroke him as we kiss until Cade’s breath hitches and he pulls back. “If you don’t stop that, I’m going to embarrass myself.”

I only smile wickedly in response as I move his tip towards my opening and rub it through the slickness, coating his head. His head falls to my shoulder as he groans my name.

“Cade?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“I need you. All of you. Please,” I beg, releasing his cock, but pushing my hips into his.

“One thing first, though.” He grabs me around the waist and flips us so I am on top of him. I squeal at the suddenness and then gasp as his head grazes my entrance. I slide up and down his dick, coating him with my wetness. I moan at the friction against my clit. He puts a hand on either side of my hips, fingers gripping me tightly as I guide him to my ready opening. He pushes in, and I lean my head back, eyes closed, savoring the feeling as he fills me, inch by glorious inch.

“You’re so tight, Serena, but so good,” he groans as he pushes into me fully. I gasp at the sensations, and he pauses, giving me a moment to adjust to him. “You’re so perfect,” he says as our eyes meet.

Slowly, I start to move on him, riding his cock and setting a delicious, yet torturous rhythm.

“Mmm,” he moans.

I move my hips in a small circle and Cade groans loudly. “Serena... That feels so good, babe,” he rumbles lowly. I increase my pace, bouncing up and down on his cock. Cade matches me with thrusts of his own, his cock slamming deeper inside me. One hand caresses my breast, rolling my nipple between his fingers, teasing it into a hard peak. I moan as his other hand finds my clit, massaging his thumb over the swollen bud.

“Oh God, Cade,” I moan as I feel another orgasm building. He presses his thumb against me, and my vision goes hazy as the orgasm explodes, rolling through me as Cade pumps in and out even harder. One of his hands holds me tightly at the hip to keep me upright while the other grips my ass as he slams into me deeper. He stills, and then his orgasm rips through him as he pumps in and out.

“Serena,” he groans as the orgasm subsides. He pulls me down to him for a kiss. He’s still fully in me, and I’m enjoying every minute of it. We’re both covered in a sheen of sweat, and I can feel his heart beating fast. I’m sure he can feel mine pounding, as well. When we pull apart, he reaches into a drawer on the table beside his bed and hands me a tissue. I take it, and he slides out of me. Immediately I miss him inside me and can feel how sticky I am. I go to the bathroom to clean myself up and when I finish, I turn off the light and open the door, finding Cade waiting outside the door for me. He smiles and kisses me before going into the bathroom himself.

I walk back to his bed and climb in on one side, and when he comes out of the bathroom, he smiles at the sight. He gets in beside me and pulls me against his side. I throw one leg over one of his as I rest my head on his chest. Cade kisses the top of my head and reaches to turn out the light.

“Promise me one thing?” he says in the darkness.

“Hmm?”

“Promise me that you’ll still be here in the morning, that you won’t leave me again.”

I sit up and look down at him. “I promise, Cade,” I whisper as I lean into kiss him gently. “I’ll be here when you wake up this time.”

I settle back down beside him, and within minutes, we’re both asleep.