Writing books never gets any easier, but the more time I spend in publishing, the more people I have to catch me when I fall, which is fairly often.
I took way too long to write this book. I begged for numerous extensions and had countless breakdowns and panic attacks. That must sound awful, I know, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it could have been, and that’s because I have the endless joy of working with my incomparable editor, Alessandra Balzer. I am thankful to you for your insight and compassion, and for investing in me as an author and a human being. Oh, and I couldn’t forget an extra thank-you for all the pictures of Joey Ramone and Johnny Cash—the cats, obviously.
Magically, there is a woman who is always two steps ahead of me, laying the groundwork, and two steps behind me, covering my tracks. That would be Molly Jaffa, my agent and friend. Molly, I don’t think I’ll ever run out of ways to thank you or things to thank you for, but thank you for always being there for me in every way and soothing my most illogical worries with your perfect logic. And thank you to John and Donut, too. You’re all a package deal now, anyway.
I am additionally grateful for all the support I’ve received from everyone at Folio Literary Management, all the foreign agents and agencies I’ve worked with over the years, and all my foreign publishers, who have been so kind to me and my work. I am also deeply thankful to my film agent, Dana Spector.
I am lucky to have found a wonderful home for my books thus far in Balzer + Bray/HarperCollins. Caroline Sun, I am forever impressed by you and must constantly remind myself that I do indeed have as many hours in a day as you do. Aurora Parlagreco, I am obsessed with this cover and cannot thank you and Daniel Stolle enough for all the effort you have put into every detail. I also owe much thanks to Kelsey Murphy, Booki Vivat, Margot Wood, Elena Yip, Suman Seewat, Maggie Searcy, Patty Rosati, Molly Motch, Gina Rizzo, Heather Doss, Jordan Brown, Kristin Daly Rens, Viana Siniscalchi, Bess Braswell, Elizabeth Ward, Sabrina Abballe, Audrey Diestelkamp, Tyler Breitfeller, Nellie Kurtzman, everyone at Harper360, the team at HCC, Andrea Pappenheimer, Kerry Moynagh, Kathy Faber, Jenny Sheridan, Donna Bray, Kate Jackson, and Suzanne Murphy. I’m sure I’m forgetting someone, but every Harper event always feels like a homecoming, and that’s thanks to each and every single one of you who have had a hand in my books, even in ways I am unaware of.
Several writers who I admire greatly worked with me on this book and helped me make it everything it has become. Thank you so much to Natalie C. Parker, Bethany Hagen, and Jessica Taylor. Tessa Gratton and Justina Ireland, thank you so much for your sensitivity reads and for just being badass women in general. Dhonielle Clayton, thank you for reading a scene for me at the last minute and for answering all of my nagging questions about it. To all of you women: thank you for taking the time to talk with me about how our work is part of a bigger conversation and for never steering clear of conversations about sex, gender, race, and politics.
I also have a completely unorganized list of friends and loved ones I would like to thank, so in no specific order at all: Jeramey Kraatz, Jenny Martin, Caron Ervin, Corey Whaley, Adam Silvera, Jason Reynolds, Brendan Kiely, Katie Cotugno, Robin Talley, Dahlia Adler, Tristina Wright, Hannah Moskowitz, Amy Spalding, Gretchen McNeil, Zoraida Cordova, Kate Hart, Sarah Enni, Amy Tintera, Michelle Krys, Cindy Pon, Sarah Henning, Renée Ahdieh, Jennifer Mathieu, Kristin Rae, Robin Murphy, Domino Perez, Leigh Bardugo, Katherine Locke, Sona Charaipotra, Emery Lord, Sarah Combs, Stephanie Appell, Jen Bigheart, Becky Albertalli, Ilene Gregorio, Amy Plum, Anna Carey, Samantha Mabry, Brenna Yovanoff, Tara Hudson, Myra McEntire, Rae Carson, Rachel Caine, Ashley Meredith, the Trevino family, the Pearce-Trevino family, the Murphy family, John Stickney, Mary Hinson, Rose Brock, Hayley Harris, Laura Rahimi Barnes, and Ashley Lindemann. Whether it was a drink, a slice of pie, an email, a hug, a tweet, a writing retreat, or just a shared glance across a room, each of you has been in some way instrumental to me finishing this damn book. Thank you.
I am so glad to live in Texas, where everything is bigger—including the shared passion of librarians and booksellers. I am so grateful for all of you, but especially Kristin Trevino at Irving Public Library, Cathy and Valerie at Blue Willow, and all the wonderful folks at BookPeople.
I would be nowhere without the gracious support of bloggers and reviewers who take time out of their busy lives to share the joy of books with others. A very special thanks to Ginger at G Reads Books, Jen at Pop Goes the Reader, and Kate at Ex Libris Kate.
Ian, thank you for understanding when I’m up writing late enough to see you wake up for work in the morning. Thank you for all the work you do with your students. It inspires me daily. I couldn’t ask for a better partner. I love you forever.
Hillary Rodham Clinton, you are my shero. You have been since I was in second grade. Thank you for always inspiring me to do the most good. I am forever and proudly nasty.
Like I said earlier, I took a really long time to write this book, so this one is for everyone who’s decided to take the long way home. Take your time. We can wait. I love you.