“Are you okay, miss?” Serge asked, looking back at my blank face through the rearview mirror.
I continued staring out the window, an array of emotions tearing through me like burning flames. Alik had killed my brother. Alik, the man that had controlled me and possessed me all these years, the man I’d devoted my life to serving. And he’d blamed Luka, my Luka, for Rodion’s death … God! Just so he could have me?
The thought made me feel sick. Feel racked with guilt. Despair and a million other emotions.
And tomorrow night, my two loves—one pure yet broken and one so dark that I now realized I didn’t know him at all—they would fight to the death.
Tomorrow night I would lose one.
I knew in my heart who I wanted—no, needed—to survive … Luka. It had always been Luka.
Alik deserved to die.
“Miss?” Serge pushed again, and I met his worried gaze. “What’s happened? I know that look on your face, devastation. I’ve only ever seen it one time before … and that was when we were told Mr. Tolstoi died in that crash.”
I felt the tears tracking down my face, and I sniffed and wiped at my cheeks. “Serge … I’ve just found out who killed Rodion. I … I…” I trailed off, unable to finish my sentence, the pain too much to bear.
I noticed we had pulled up to the side of my papa’s house, crawling to a stop in the shadows of the dark street, out of view.
As the car came to a stop, Serge turned in his seat. “Mr. Alik?”
My eyes widened and my pulse throbbed in my temples. “You … knew? All this time?”
Serge shook his head. “No, miss. I didn’t. But, well, I’ve watched him his whole life, watched him grow from a boy to a man and something was never right with him. Like he’s disturbed, deep in his soul.”
I swallowed hard, listening to everything coming out of Serge’s mouth. And he was right. Alik had always been different. Thriving off violence, off control, off his possession for me … off his kills. Kills he had to make or he would turn to the streets or the rival mobs to work off his rage. The Bratva decided five years ago that he should fight for The Dungeon during the Championship. My papa wanted him to have an outlet for his rage, one that wouldn’t cause trouble with rivals, and one that would also bring in a profit.
“When the news of Rodion’s death was delivered to the staff, I couldn’t believe Luka would do such a thing. He was a good boy, a good Bratva boy: stern and hard, but not overly cold. But mainly, he was loyal to his family. Loved his family. His papa had brought him up well, unlike Mr. Abram. He had raised that boy of his to be a killer. After his mama ran off when he was a baby, he brought that boy up without any affection.” Serge’s eyes seemed to lose focus and he shook his head. “There’s just something within his eyes … something that has never sat well with me.” Serge shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I remember finding him as a child, killing a cat—no, torturing it. He saw me watching him in horror and he smiled. He smiled at me, Kisa. I knew then that something sinister ran in that boy’s blood. He enjoyed killing that cat. He liked hearing it in pain.”
“Oh God, Alik!” I cried. “What’s wrong with him? What lives within him to make him like that?”
Serge ran his hand over his head in distress. “And the day we were told Luka had died, Miss Kisa … Everybody cried. Even though they believed he had killed your twin, they mourned for him. But Alik, he was cold, calculated, and dare I say, happy? Abram displayed no reaction either. Something about that whole day just never sat well with me.”
“Serge,” I cried, finally submitting to the sob choking my throat. “I don’t know what to do!”
Serge laid his hand on my knee. “Mr. Luka is back, Kisa. I don’t know where from, and I don’t need to know, that isn’t my business. But I can see he’s no longer the Luka that left. He’s darker now, tormented. His memory is in pieces. Lord, the confusion on his face tonight when he saw me, it was vast. But not a day went by from the time you were born that boy didn’t look after you, protect you. And even now, with his mind warped, with the hell I know he’s been put through, he won’t let Mr. Alik leave that cage tomorrow night alive. Of that I’m sure. He’ll kill Mr. Alik to protect you. He has earned the right to this revenge. He has earned the right to retake his place among the Bratva and know his family and where he’s from.”
“He doesn’t remember them, Serge. None of his family. Papa Ivan, Talia, his mama, none of them.”
“He will in time. But right now, he has one goal, only one thing occupying his mind … to right what Mr. Alik made wrong.”
“God! How the hell has it all come to this?” I said, wiping at my tears. “So much death, so much pain! All because of greed and jealousy.”
Serge smiled sadly. “This mafiya life is never an easy path. There has been much death, much pain. But the Lord has brought back your love, Kisa. Despite the pain, a miracle has occurred.”
My stomach swirled with dread. “But … what if Luka can’t get past all of what happened? What happens when he remembers everything? Will it be too much?”
“He will have you, Kisa. You saw his soul, yet you didn’t recognize his face. And he knew you, even when his memories were not there. You are his light, his guide back to this life.”
“He showed me his eyes,” I whispered and Serge’s eyebrows furrowed. Taking a deep breath, I explained, “Since the day I met him, I’ve noticed that he keeps his eyes down, his hood pulled over his face as if somewhere in his subconscious he knew that his distinctive eyes could be recognizable. But he let me see them. He showed me those eyes almost immediately. And as soon as I saw them, I saw my Luka.”
Serge’s gray eyes glistened and he dipped his head, only to raise them again. “Then he knew you too. Even if he didn’t remember you, his soul did. That boy was always besotted with you. I’d never seen anything like you two kids. A love so fierce it was like you’d been together for a millennium.”
My heart swelled at Serge’s words. I leaned forward to kiss him on his cheek, but just as I did, the passenger door flew open and Alik climbed inside, his eyes red raw with rage, and he placed a gun at Serge’s head.
“Drive,” he ordered in a terrifyingly guttural voice, and I instinctively started trembling. Fear seized my voice and any movement my mind willed me to make.
“Alik … baby,” I whispered, trying to sound natural, unafraid. Alik’s back stiffened.
“Shut the fuck up!” he snapped, his tone deadly, his eyes bloodshot and red. He pushed the barrel of the gun harder against Serge’s temple.
“Take us to my dockside apartment,” Alik ordered, and Serge risked a glance back in the mirror. Alik drew back his gun and butted Serge with the barrel, leaning forward. “I said take us to my fucking dockside apartment!”
I cried out when blood trickled down Serge’s face, but he put the car in drive and we rolled off down the streets, sticking to the shadows.
“Alik, please? What dockside apartment?” I whispered, watching his jaw twitch and redness run up his neck. I could physically see his anger engulf his pale skin.
“I got a dockside apartment, Kisa. Had it for years. I do what the fuck I want there.”
I gasped when I guessed what that could be. “And what’s that?” I asked fearfully.
He turned and smirked at me, but his eyes were on fire. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. “Whatever the fuck I choose to do to keep me from ripping people apart.”
Alik watched my expression, which I knew was betraying my abject fear. My blood ran cold. He leaned forward as the car built up speed.
“You’ve fucked up, Myshka. I know what’s been going on, and with who.”
I sucked in a stuttered terrified breath. “Alik—”
Alik’s foot kicked out and smashed against the dashboard on an incensed roar. “I said shut your fucking mouth!”
As I cowered back in my seat, Alik panted, his chest rising and falling. I watched him like a hawk, his head twitching and his feet tapping with impatience. I couldn’t cry, couldn’t show any reaction.
I was so terrified.
I’d never been on the receiving end of this Alik before. I’d never defied him or hurt him … until now.
He knew about Raze and me.
And I wasn’t sure I was going to come out of this alive.
* * *
The docks came into view not too far from The Dungeon, but far enough away that nobody would know Alik came here. It wasn’t an apartment as such, more like a fisherman’s shack that had been refurbished.
Serge stopped the car, and for a moment, we all sat there in strained silence. Lowering the gun, Alik turned to Serge.
“Stay the fuck here.”
Serge looked at me in the backseat and sadly shook his head. “I can’t do that, Mr. Alik.”
Alik laughed and held up his Beretta, rolling the gun in his hand. “You’ll do whatever the fuck I say, old man.”
Serge straightened in his seat, and I saw Alik smile. I knew that smile. That sadistic smile. And I hated that it was directed at Serge. My kind old Serge.
“No, Serge, please just do what he says,” I begged.
Serge’s eyes set with resolve. “I can’t, Miss Kisa. I could never live with myself if I let anything happen to you. You’re … you’re like the daughter I never had.”
A tear trickled down my cheek as I began to plead with him, but Alik didn’t give me a chance as he aimed his gun at Serge’s temple. I opened my mouth to shout out, but Serge met my eyes in the mirror and he shook his head no. He was saying goodbye.
A second later, Alik pulled the trigger. Serge slumped forward, dead, and this time I did scream.
In no time at all, Alik jumped out of the car and opened the back door. “Get the fuck out,” he ordered, and heart struggling to beat despite the shock of Serge’s violent death, I moved to the door, but Alik groaned, leaned in to grab my arm, and wrenched me forward. “Fucking move!”
Crying out once more, Alik dragged me toward the apartment, unlocked the door, and pushed me inside.
I blinked and blinked, trying to take in the room. It was sparse, only minimal furniture—a ragged couch, a small kitchenette, and a bed. My stomach rolled when I saw the sheets were messed up, used condoms on the bedside table … but that wasn’t what had me recoiling in shock. No. That honor was bestowed upon a clearing at the left side of the open space. A clearing covered in plastic sheets … plastic sheets stained with blood.
“Alik,” I hushed out. “What is this place?”
I felt Alik’s warm body at my back, and he gathered my hair and pushed it over my left shoulder. His mouth moved to my ear. “My sanctuary. Where I can be the man I am. Not the one I’m forced to be out there.”
“And … and what man is that?” I asked, not really wanting to hear the answer.
He pressed kiss after kiss along the side of my neck, sending shivers down my spine. Every part of me was tense. I didn’t understand why he wasn’t screaming at me. This quieter Alik was too unnerving.
“Free,” he replied, making me jump.
My eyes drifted to the unmade bed, and I felt sick. “You fuck women here?”
Alik’s lips froze and in seconds I was spun round by his hard grip on my biceps and slammed against the nearest wall. His harsh stare bore into mine, cold and unfeeling.
“They’re not you, Myshka. They were whores. You’re my woman, my whole fucking life.” Darkness clouded Alik’s crazed red eyes and he leaned so far forward that the back of my head ground against the hard wall. “At least you were. Until you fucking betrayed me. Opened your fucking whoring legs.”
Alik’s voice was quiet, too quiet, the softness deceiving. His head twitched and his jaw ticked as he lifted the Beretta and ran it down my cheek. He suddenly looked broken, completely devastated.
“How could you, Myshka? How could you fuck that cunt, baby? How could you let him into what’s mine?”
“Alik—” I tried to speak, but Alik moved the gun over my lips, shaking his head as his other hand wrenched up my dress and cupped roughly against my pussy.
“Shh, Myshka,” he whispered. “You betrayed me. You opened your legs to that fucker Raze. You made me angry. At you, Myshka. You hurt me. The only one who can keep me calm, the only one who gets me.”
I shook my head, my breath coming too fast. “No! Alik!” I protested and tentatively lifted my shaking hand to rest on his cheek. As soon as my palm met his skin, his eyes closed and he took a deep breath, his head nuzzling into my flesh.
“Baby,” I whispered, needing to keep him calm while my heart thundered to the point I thought it would fail to function from over-exhaustion. “I know … I know what you did … to Rodion … to Luka…”
Alik’s head stilled in my palm and his gaze darted to mine, the whites of his eyes unusually bright. Then, eyes narrowed, he said, “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Tears blurred my vision and my bottom lip quivered. “I know … I know it was you who killed Rodion … I know your papa ordered you to kill him so you could be the heir to the Pakhan.”
Alik’s nostrils flared and his lips set into a tight line. “Really? You found this out?” he asked, his thoughts unreadable through his indifferent tone.
Swallowing, I said, “And you framed Luka, stabbed yourself in the stomach … and your papa faked Luka’s death.” I saw the flinch in Alik’s eyes, and my heart skipped a beat.
He didn’t know Luka wasn’t in that accident … My God! He believed he was dead. That meant …
He didn’t know Raze was Luka.
He didn’t know I’d been sleeping with Raze because he was Luka.
Alik quickly schooled his features. “Luka died, Kisa.”
“But you killed Rodion? Put the blame on Luka?” I sniffed and wiped at the tears on my cheek. “You stabbed yourself to ensure everyone believed Luka had flipped and killed Rodion.” I met his gaze and said, “All because you wanted me to yourself?”
Alik’s stern expression melted and he looked at me again with that disturbingly possessive adoration, his gun-free hand lifting from my pussy to push back my hair.
“You’re mine, baby. You know that. And Luka was getting in my way. He was always there, touching you … touching what I knew was mine.”
I held my breath and squeezed my eyes shut. I felt Alik’s warm breath splay across my skin, and the barrel of his gun ran down my neck to lie over my breasts.
“Rodion needed to die, Kisa. He would never have been a Pakhan. He wasn’t strong enough. I am. And I knew I’d have you by my side. It has made the Bratva feared more than any other mob on the East Coast.”
I dropped my arm to my side, removing my hand from his face. My brother, Luka … Alik had zero remorse. He was proud of what he’d done.
“You are insane,” I whispered, my throat feeling too tight to breathe in much-needed air. “I just never let myself see it before.”
Alik smiled but backed away, aiming his gun in front of him, shifting its target from my head to my heart and back again.
“Insane, baby?” Alik said coldly and stepped forward, my body filling with dread. “You haven’t seen anything. Because, Myshka, until now, you’ve always been my little mouse. My fucking light, the beat to my heart. The only thing I could love as much as killing.”
Alik stepped closer still and ran his hand up my arm, then brutally gripped my bicep, squeezing until I screamed out in pain. Alik’s face was right before mine, his expression blank.
“That was until you fucking betrayed me and fucked that asshole.”
My eyes widened and he nodded. “You thought people weren’t going to realize you were missing? The Byki reported your empty room last night, so I followed you tonight, Myshka. Followed you right to that fuck Raze … and then to Brighton Beach of all places.” His jaw clenched. “I fucking hate that place.”
Alik’s hold tightened still and tears ran down my cheeks. His face then showed every single nuance of pain and rage he felt and his mouth moved right to my ear.
“I watched you fuck him. I watched you kiss him. I watched you fucking hold him, watched you stroke his hair!”
“Alik—” I cried, but just as I did, Alik stepped back and the back of his hand smacked across my face.
Losing my footing under the force and shock, I slumped to the floor, Alik pacing in front of me, hitting at his head with the heels of his hands. “Why? WHY?” he screamed and whipped to face me, his head tilted to the side.
“Kisa, baby, my Myshka, why did you make me do this?” Alik’s voice was gentle, apologetic, completely opposite to a moment ago. I rolled my head to face him, my cheek throbbing from the hit.
Alik bent down and stroked across my forehead with the same firm hand he hit me with. “I watched you fucking him, Kisa. You fucked another guy, and now I gotta make you pay. That pussy of yours belongs to me.”
I shook my head, tears spilling down my face. “No, Alik, please … You don’t understand.”
Sighing, Alik looked away, and when he turned back, I began to speak, but Alik gripped my hair and dragged me to my feet.
“Alik!” I cried, but he didn’t stop, just yanked me forward until I stood at the bottom of the large bed.
“Alik, please,” I begged. “I love him! I … I love him.”
Alik froze and pulled me forward by my hair. “Say what? You want to tell me that again?”
“I … I…” Alik fisted my hair tighter, to the point I thought it was going to rip from my head.
“Tell me again!” he ordered, and I sobbed.
But then a wash of numbness filled me and, looking Alik straight in the eyes, I declared, “I love him. He’s my soul mate. I want him … I want him…”
Alik paled and reared back as if I’d physically hurt him. I could actually see the pain in his face. “Alik—”
Another strike knocked me onto the bed. I didn’t scream this time, just landed on the mattress and felt the blood from my bust lip trickle down my chin.
“Your soul mate? You’ve only just fucking met him!” Alik roared and, beyond seething, ran his hands through his short hair, then sent a punch straight into my stomach.
I coughed and spluttered as the blow robbed me of my breath, and Alik roared again. Bending down, he had tears in his eyes. “Kisa,” he said quietly, running his finger down my cheek. “I don’t want to hurt you, but a good Bratva wife doesn’t fuck around. You’re making me do this to you. You need to be taught a lesson, Myshka. You’ve betrayed me, but…”
Alik sighed and pressed kisses all over my face. My body was curled inward, trying to find the ability to breathe.
“But I need you. But…” His body tensed again. “I can’t stand the fucking thought of you with him, baby. Can’t get the thought of you riding his dick from my head.”
Alik tipped back his head and growled in frustration. Facing forward once more, he pushed me back onto the mattress and crawled on the bed. “I need to fuck you,” he said firmly. “I need to show you who you fucking belong to.”
My heart sank as he spoke those words. “No … please, Alik … Please…”
But he didn’t listen, didn’t care. Alik snapped open the fly of his jeans and pulled off his shirt. Once he was undressed, he reached for my dress. I freed my arms from around my stomach to push his hands away, but Alik took my wrists in one hand and struck me across the cheek with the other. In the aftermath, he acted as though nothing had happened.
I resisted, fought back for as long as I could, picturing my Luka in my mind. I didn’t want Alik to take me and rid me of Luka’s feel. I didn’t want him to touch me.
He killed my brother.
He framed my Luka.
Alik leaned down, teeth bared and squeezed my wrist until I heard a crack. I was sure he had broken it. Spots danced in front of my eyes with the searing pain. He ripped away my dress, running his nose up my neck, almost tenderly, then his hand wrapped around my throat.
Tears filled Alik’s eyes as he stared me down, my sight fading in and out of blackness as his grip on my throat cut off my oxygen.
“Myshka, you’re mine,” he said as he pushed my thighs apart and placed himself at my entrance. “I need you to be mine.”
As he slammed his cock inside me, his hand slipped off my throat, allowing me to gasp in a breath, and his hand took tight hold of my hips. He took me roughly, bruisingly, making sure I knew he was in control … that he, and only he, possessed me.
As he drove into me faster, Alik leaned forward, my eyes unable to focus through the blows to my face, the choking of my throat, the sexual assault.
“I’m gonna kill that fucker tomorrow, Myshka. Take him out. So get him out of your mind. Then no more fucking waiting. We’re marrying the day after and you’ll learn your place once and for all. Do you hear me?”
My head was cast to the side, my eyes trying to focus on anything around the room. Suddenly, Alik’s hand slammed down on my cheeks and he forced me to look at him. Another blow branded my cheek with pain, and he shook my head as his hips slammed into my pussy. “I said do you fucking hear me?”
I tried to speak, but my cheeks were numb, my lips too swollen to move. Instead, a desperate noise slipped through my lips, and Alik smiled down at me, accepting it as my submission.
“Fuck, I love you, baby,” he whispered, closing his eyes and biting his lip, getting a kick out of my helplessness. “Your cunt’s so fucking tight … so fucking mine.”
He stilled, neck straining as he came, and he flopped on top of me. I lay disconnected and disorientated while Alik moved about the room as though nothing had happened, but I felt everything when he crawled over my battered body and slid into me once more.
It felt like the punishment never ended, and when Alik rolled to my side, spent, wrapping me in his arms, I let a tear fall, the salty drop stinging my open wounds, until I couldn’t hold on anymore and I slipped into darkness.
A slap to my face woke me. My head pounded practically blinding me and my body ached so badly that I immediately vomited to the side of the bed. I tried to move onto my back, to open my heavy eyes, but my lids wouldn’t fully function, only tiny slits of the room coming into view. I tried to move my legs but they wouldn’t work. I was trying to focus, struggling to remember what had happened, when suddenly, I was flipped over onto my front, my body screaming out at the action.
Alik hovered above me. “Wake up, baby.”
My eyes rolled trying to obey his command and my breathing wheezed through my heavily bruised throat.
“Good, Myshka, you’re learning,” he praised, his voice proud. I felt Alik push into me from behind and screamed a voiceless scream at the burning pain between my legs, the force of my cry like razor blades slicing at my throat.
Pain. All I felt was pain as I was taken again, glimpses of daylight breaking through the windows.
Daylight?
How long had I been here? Like this?
Alik pushed forward like a man possessed, his lesson for me to submit and never defy him again, not yet over. The more he thrust into me, the more I lost my vision, and as Alik bellowed my name, coming within me, he exhaled in relief and turned my head to lay a hard kiss on my lips.
I whimpered as his lips pushed against my swollen ones, and he flashed me another sweet smile before he got off the bed. I watched through aching eyes as Alik got dressed as though I wasn’t lying here in agony, unable to move … all by his hand.
Minutes later, Alik turned to me and strode forward, kneeling at my head lying askew on the mattress. He sighed and shook his head, running his fingers through my matted hair.
“You brought this on yourself, Myshka. But now you know what’ll happen if you try to fuck around on me again.” Alik’s eyes narrowed and he leaned closer and whispered in my ear, “Then again, if you do this again, I won’t ever be able to trust you, baby. So I’d just have to fucking kill you … and I’d kill myself too. Then we’d be together … always.”
My heart throbbed, and I came undone as he kissed my forehead and stood. Lifting a training bag over his shoulder, Alik looked back at me and said, “I’m gonna kill this fucker … slowly … make this bastard regret he ever fucked my woman.” He laughed, clearly amused. “He had no idea who he was fucking with, did he? They call me the butcher for a reason.”
I wanted to cry, to beg and to stop him from leaving, but I couldn’t move … could barely even cry.
“When I come back after the fight, with fresh blood on my hands, we’re gonna go to Vegas and get married, Myshka, once and for all. I’m tired of waiting.”
With that, Alik left, locking me inside this shack.
All I could do was cry and lie still until I lost the fight and submitted to the heavy pull of sleep.