I had a rare night with no plans, but the idea of going home and attempting to relax had become foreign to me. I could go to dinner on my own, perhaps steak and a glass of wine at my favorite steakhouse. I had never understood the fear of eating in a restaurant alone. I liked the solitude, the time to focus on simply enjoying an excellent meal while letting my mind drift over the various challenges my company was currently facing. It was like meditation, in a way.

But I knew that wasn’t what I needed tonight. Not that I particularly wanted to listen to the quiet voice niggling in the back of my mind, but neither did I want to sit motionless in my car in the parking tower either. I pulled up my list of Cafe Om locations.

I’d hit up the main ones on my way to and from home and work. Tonight, with my strange state of mind, I felt like a bit of a drive might help, so I picked one on the western outskirts of the city. I plugged the coordinates in my GPS and my car started smoothly, almost silently. My finger hovered over the audio system’s power button. Did I want the distraction? Yes. But what I needed was space to think. I left the sound off and shifted into reverse.

It wasn’t long before I was on the highway. I never left work before six, and so the roads were fairly clear, rush hour dying down and everyone enjoying a few hours at home before heading out for a night on the town.

Everything felt a bit surreal tonight, everything flowing a bit too smoothly. Did that mean tonight was the night I’d find Zeke? Something seemed right… and it forced me to seriously consider what I was going to do if I actually found him.

Did that mean tonight was the night I’d find Zeke?

Something seemed right… and it forced me to seriously consider what I was going to do if I actually found him.

My brother had been missing for ten years. Not like there was a missing persons file on him or anything, but from what my mother had said, one day, he just up and lost it, yelling that our parents hated him and never wanted him, that I always treated him as lesser because I was alpha and he was omega. That they wished he was an alpha too. None of what she said made any sense to me, and she had a tendency to exaggerate. Especially when it came to Zeke. The two of them clashed worse than any of the bullheaded alphas I’d ever known. And it didn’t make sense. Zeke and I were twins; nothing had ever been big enough to come between us before. Our designations hadn’t. Our completely opposite personalities hadn’t. So I couldn’t figure out what could possibly make him suddenly decide to stop speaking to me, especially without telling me what I did to fuck up so bad.

But when I asked Dad, he didn’t deny Mom’s story. That didn’t say much, and so I asked some of their long term staff, men and women who had practically raised me like aunts and uncles, and the story remained pretty much the same: one day, Zeke blew up, denounced our parents, told them he was leaving and not to try to find him, and as far as I could tell, simply disappeared off the face of the earth. Until someone had mistaken me for him a few months ago.

I searched for him that first year, but I was already such a mess from everything with Miles, which had happened just before Zeke disappeared. I had needed to talk to my brother. But his phone number had been disconnected. His credit cards cancelled. And the friends of his that I talked to seemed to have no idea where he had gone.

I hadn’t slept much at all that year, worrying about Miles and Zeke. I turned my thoughts away from Miles. That was something I would likely never get the chance to apologize for. But Zeke…

If I did find him, I was going to do whatever it would take to get my brother back. If I had to throw myself at his feet and beg forgiveness for whatever it was I had did in the past, I would, no matter what it was. Nothing was worth the giant Zeke shaped hole in my life.

I pulled into the Café Om parking lot with a new spring in my step, imagining Zeke being back in my life.

My face felt stretched from the smile that had overcome my face. How long had it been since I had truly smiled, that this hurt already? I tried to suppress it so that my cheek muscles wouldn’t start twitching, and approached the barista. She was a small thing, with long brown hair. My smile must have been still pretty glaring, because she smiled back at me. I leaned against the counter.

“Welcome to Café Om! How can I help you?”

“I’m actually looking for someone.” Normally I danced around the subject, finding coy ways to ask if Zeke was working there, but feeling particularly confident and bold, I addressed her more directly. “His name is Zeke, or Ezekial?”

The girl looked around the empty seating area. “Are you supposed to be meeting him?”

My hopes started to deflate. She didn’t recognize the name. “No… I think he works here.”

The girl shook her head sadly. “Sorry… I’ve worked here for two years, and I don’t think we’ve ever had anyone of either of those names. Unless he just started?”

I shook my head. “No, it would have been at least a few months.” I pushed back off the counter, my smile vanished, my shoulders sagging from more than jet lag.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help. Can I get you something to drink?”

I thought about it for just a moment, but shook my head. “No, but thank you. Have a good night.”

I rested my head against the steering wheel in my car. I had felt so certain this was it. How could I have been so wrong? It occurred to me that Zeke could have asked his coworkers to lie if anyone ever came looking for him, but I probably would have at least seen some sense of recognition in the barista’s eyes. Zeke and I weren’t identical, but it was beyond clear that we were brothers.

I started my car. It was only just three in the afternoon, but I didn’t have energy for anything more than to drive home and go to sleep, and hope any dreams would stay at bay.