Epilogue
Hmm. I gotta say that is not what I expected you to say, Viviana. Are you saying you don’t like the ring? That you wanted something simpler? I was trying to capture the complexity of you. Hell, if you want all diamonds instead of diamonds, rubies, emeralds, and sapphires, we can exchange it.”
Viviana choked back her sobs and shook her head. “Jax, stop. It . . . it’s not the ring. It’s the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen. But I’m serious. I can’t . . . ” Her voice trailed off. Meeting his frowning gaze, she knew she couldn’t hold back any longer. The truth had been tearing her apart. She sucked in a deep breath and blew it out. “Jax, I need to tell you something. Something important.”
To her surprise, his expression softened. Reaching for her, he said, “C’mere, darlin’.” Picking her up, he held her on his lap. Tipping up her chin between his thumb and forefinger, he gazed into her tearful eyes. “What if I told you there’s nothing you can tell me that I don’t already know?”
She shook her head fiercely. “No, Jax. You can’t. I . . . I just found out—”
He pressed his finger against her lips. “It’s okay, sweetheart, I already know.”
Seeing the calm assurance in his eyes, she was horrified. “You . . . you do?”
“Yeah, sweetheart, why do you think I’ve been going crazy trying to get you to eat and sleep, knowing what is happening to your stressed-out body?”
Viviana was incredulous. “But how, why?”
“Hey, Sergeant, you should know. For many of the years I lived at home, my mother’s obstetrics practice was in a wing of our house. I probably know more about pregnancy and labor than any man should have to know.”
Viviana was silent for a long moment, allowing herself to see the truth in his shining eyes. Trying to absorb the magnitude of what he was saying, her gaze landed on the ring he was holding in his hand. Swallowing past the enormous lump in her throat, she managed to ask, “Is . . . is that why you are asking me to marry you?”
“Because I want make an honest woman of you?” His eyes dancing with excitement, Jax crowed, “Hell yes, as long as being an honest woman doesn’t mean you’re going to stop trying to provoke me. You know how much I love spanking your sensational ass.” He added, his voice breaking, “And because I love you more than anything in the world, and the only thing that is making me happier than I already am is that we are about to have a child.”
Seeing his passion, Viviana didn’t know how to tell him, but there was no way to avoid the truth. She forced herself to respond. “You don’t understand, Jax. I don’t know if I want to have a baby. I don’t know if I can.”
When his eyes narrowed, she tried to explain. “I’m afraid, Jax. How can I be sure that something awful doesn’t happen to her? That somehow, my ugly past doesn’t visit itself on her? That no matter what we do to shield her, protect her, that something or someone evil doesn’t escape us? Get to her? Hurt her?”
Jax was silent, then pulled her closer, forcing her to meet his gaze. His voice was soft but underlaid with compelling strength. “All I can tell you, Viviana, is that whether it is a girl or boy, our baby will be the most loved, most cared for child that ever existed. Yes, she’ll fall down occasionally, maybe get a bruise or two or even a broken bone. But she’ll be tough. Like her mama, she’ll get up and brush herself off. And when she’s a teenager, her fierce father will threaten the shit out of those pimply-faced boys wanting to get close to her. And, darlin, we’ll do the same for her brother and sister when they arrive, making us the most blessed parents alive.”
****
Seven months later, Jax gazed down at Viviana’s flushed face. Swiping at the sweat on her brow with a damp towel, he murmured comforting words, promising it would all be over soon. Even as he said the words and she nodded in agreement, then gasped at the pain contracting her swollen body, Jax chided himself. Good God, how could he have forgotten the agony women faced in childbirth? Dammit, how could he not have remembered the screams from agonized women in the last throes of giving birth in his mother’s birthing center? Hell, when he was a calm, assured teenager, he’d even helped his mother. Holding their hands, he’d promised the writhing women that their travail would soon end. In his Delta Force days, he’d confirmed that no matter where you were in the world, giving birth was a painful, but blessedly soon-forgotten, prelude to the arrival of the awaited child.
But that was before he hovered beside Viviana for what now seemed like days, not hours, since she went into labor. Their excited rush to the hospital, interrupted by an occasional cramp, had been full of anticipation. But that was long before the occasional pain had settled into a driving, predictable force. And long before his beautiful wife, with tears hovering in her stormy eyes, begged him to tell her how much longer it would be and that it would soon be over. He was gratified that his quiet assurances and strong hands seemed to comfort her. He wished they comforted him. Instead, his concern that this agony might never end had his gut churning like a fucking cement mixer.
As if in a distant memory, he remembered blithely assuring Viviana that they could take care of their child, protect her against any harm that dared to come her way. He groaned to himself. Jesus God, taking care of the child after she was born would be nothing. A piece of cake. That is if Viviana could survive the anguish his impregnating her had caused. Ignoring the doctors’ assurances that they were coming to the end of the excruciating process, Jax snorted, knowing that the aloof stewards were merely repeating their practiced rote. He acknowledged that he despised them, detested their smug assurances that somehow his beloved Viviana would survive this hideous process.
At that moment, the obstetrician calmly asserted, “All right, mother and father to be, I’m glad to announce that your baby is about to make her entrance. Chief Hughes, how about you climb up behind this beautiful, brave woman of yours. That’s right, now hold her tight and help her give birth to your child.”
In the tortured moments that followed as the baby made its way through the unforgiving birth canal, Jax promised his sobbing wife that truly, one more push and their child would be born. Gratified that the gods had pity on them, apparently understanding that both he and Viviana were at the end of their strength, Jax held his breath, seeing the tiny, blueish infant slide into the doctor’s expert grip. After what seemed like a lifetime but was seconds at most, the tiny infant cried out, a lusty cry if Jax had ever heard one.
Within minutes, he was holding the most beautiful infant girl he’d ever seen. He lay beside Viviana, holding the baby between them. His voice was choked with tears. “You did it, Viviana, you birthed the most extraordinary baby girl the world has ever seen.”
Viviana nodded, tears flowing down her cheeks. “No, Jax, we did it.” Running a tentative finger over the baby’s tiny head, she whispered in wonder, “Oh, look, her hair is dark. Oh my God, her eyes are green! Don’t tell me that a Swedish blonde like me actually gave birth to a Black Irish heartbreaker like you?”
Jax swiped at his tears and nodded in profound relief. “It appears that we have done exactly that, my gorgeous wife and now mother of the luckiest child alive.”
The next day as they were preparing to leave the hospital, Jax returned to Viviana’s room with a wheelchair. Helping a glowing Viviana into the chair, he reached for the tiny bundle, who truly was the most beautiful baby he’d ever seen. Murmuring to the sleeping child, he said, “I have to warn you, Destiny Amora, you may as well get used to the klieg lights—but one of the glorious offshoots of having the Enchantress as your mother.”
At Viviana’s questioning frown, Jax smiled at her, not surprised that his eyes felt damp. “Remember when you weren’t sure we were up to this, tiger? That somehow we couldn’t protect our beautiful baby? That it would be too much for us?” He grinned at her as he pushed the wheelchair into the waiting room.
Viviana startled at the sight of what looked like the entire VCU force as well as a squadron of special operatives, who rose to their feet at her entrance.
Brushing his lips across her cheek, Jax whispered, “Darlin’, it looks like we’re going to have lots of help caring for Destiny.” At her tearful nod, Jax stood tall, then wheeled his two girls toward the elated cheers of their adoring subjects.