CHAPTER 4
The mist swirled around him, making it impossible to discern anything past the stretch of his arm. Sometimes he would hear voices calling him, but when he tried to chase after them, all he would find was more of the dense fog. Von continued to wander aimlessly, searching for something that would help him escape this place. He had lost all track of time and had no recollection of how he got here.
The only thing that had been constant was the overwhelming feeling that he was forgetting something. It was as though he had lost something and desperately needed to find it, but he didn’t know what that something was and the harder he tried to recall what it was, the more confused he became. His thoughts and memories were slipping away like grains of sand slipping through his fingers. All he knew was the swirling fog.
“Von!” a childlike voice called from somewhere within the mist.
He spun, gray eyes scanning the horizon for the source of the voice.
“Come catch me!” the voice taunted, seeming to come from further away.
Von took a few tentative steps forward, startled when the mist parted to reveal a grassy knoll that hinted at familiarity. He blinked a few times, his eyes squinting against the harsh light of the sun which shone down from a cloudless blue sky.
“Betcha can’t reach me before I get to the stables!” the small boy called to him over his shoulder as he ran down the hill towards a sprawling manor home. He had a mop of dark hair that was blown back as his arms and legs pumped furiously.
He was not aware of making a conscious decision to chase after the boy before he was already running; his legs felt much shorter than they had only moments before. Von looked down, surprise flaring brightly before fading almost immediately. Gone were legs that were thickly corded with muscle and his hands were no longer calloused or battle-scarred. He was no longer a man in a man’s body, but a boy merely on the cusp of manhood.
There was no time to wonder at the change, the urgency to catch the boy spurred him into action. Even stunted, Von’s legs made easy work of the distance between them, and he was upon the boy within a few heartbeats. The stormy eyes grew wide when they noted how close he had gotten. The boy’s tongue darted out, his eyes narrowed in concentration as he pushed with all he had to try and clear the remaining distance between himself and the wooden stables only a few lengths away.
Despite the unfamiliar pang in his chest at the sight of the boy, Von felt no mercy and easily overcame him, hand slapping against the wood in clear victory. The boy skidded to a stop a hairsbreadth before he would have crashed into the side of the stables. He was scowling in disappointment, face flushed from the exertion.
Now that they were closer, Von could study the boy more carefully. He was no more than seven and small with dark hair that was thick with waves. His blue-gray eyes were so large that they seemed to take up the entirety of his face and were currently staring up at him with something akin to worship shining in their depths. Before Von had a chance to say anything, the boy’s lips twisted back in a disappointed grimace, “I almost had you that time!”
Von’s hand moved on its own accord, ruffling the mop of hair as an unfamiliar voice said, “You’ll catch me one day, Squirt.” Von took a mental pause, trying to catalogue the differences in his voice. It was not so much unfamiliar as long forgotten. It was still his voice, but lacking the deep inflection and growl that had developed over the years. It was warm, unburdened, and still ringing with the innocence of one more boy than man.
His hand started to shake and a sense of foreboding shot through him as the core part of himself, the part that was still Von, the man, realized what he was seeing. “Nial,” he said in a strangled voice.
The boy looked up at him from the side of his eye, tongue slipping back out as though weighing his next words.
“Nial!” he shouted, wrapping the boy in a bone-crushing hug.
“Get off me,” his brother grunted, trying, unsuccessfully, to push away from his brother’s uncommon display of affection, even though it secretly made him warm with happiness to receive the attention.
“Let’s go look at the new horse father brought home!” Nial declared, already making a move in that direction.
Von’s hand lurched out and caught the back of his brother’s shirt, pulling him up short, “No!”
Dark brows lowered over bright eyes, “Stop treating me like a baby. I can ride just as well as you can!”
Terror raced through Von at the words. His own lips had mouthed them as his brother spoke. He had witnessed this scene before; he had not only witnessed it, he had lived through and barely survived it. Perhaps this was his chance to do it over, to change the outcome and save his brother from a lifetime of agony.
Nial struggled against Von’s hold, finally slipping from the tight grip by wriggling his way out of the rough-spun shirt.
“Nial!” Von shouted as the boy hurried away from him and rounded the corner into the stables. The stable boys were nowhere to be found, likely off having a quick lunch before returning to their afternoon chores.
Despite his speed, Von did not make it into the stables in time. His brother had already thrown himself atop the black stallion, too excited to notice the eyes that swirled with madness at his unwelcome presence.
“Nial,” Von said, his voice trembling with fear despite trying to speak calmly, “get down from there. If you want to ride, we’ll get the pony ready for you.”
His brother’s cheeks flushed with wounded pride, “I’m too big for the pony! ‘Sides I’m an excellent rider, you told me so yourself!”
“Yes, Squirt, you are an excellent rider, but that horse has no love for any rider. He’s not ready for you,” Von’s voice broke on the last word, cracking with his anxiety as he tried to coax his brother from the horse.
“He lets you ride him,” the voice was small, the words petulant.
Von nodded slowly, daring to step closer to the horse as he said, “Yes, but just barely. The beast fought me every step of the way. Let’s get you down from there and I will let you ride Kismet.” Kismet was Von’s new wolf and he had refused, until now, to let his brother get anywhere near him.
He could see the debate warring in his brother’s eyes but knew he had lost when the small shoulders straightened with determination. “I can do this, Von. You just watch,” and with that, the boy kicked into the stallion’s sides.
The horse reared, snorting angrily before kicking open the fence in front of him and tearing off out of the stables.
Von saw his brother’s eyes widen in panic; his small mouth opened on a soundless scream as he held on for all he was worth. Von’s fingers scrambled clumsily as they tried to grasp the reigns, but it was too late. The stallion was enraged and using his anger to fuel his speed.
Before he could mount and chase after his brother he heard the screams. Running at full speed, his heart pounding somewhere in the vicinity of his throat, Von rounded the corner just in time to watch his brother go flying from the back of the horse. He looked like a ragdoll, his limbs flailing bonelessly until he crumpled into a heap dangerously close to the stallion’s hooves.
Nial cried out, one of his arms and both of his legs bent at awkward angles. Von swallowed back his fear, charging forward to try and get to his brother before the horse noticed him. He felt like he was running against water, each step harder and slower than the last. He knew what was going to happen and he was desperate to try and stop it from happening again.
He opened his mouth to shout his brother’s name as the stallion reared again. Nial’s eyes were showing white as they rounded with fear. He was motionless as a stain began to grow in his tan trousers. A tear rolled down his young face, shame and fear colliding as the seconds slowed to hours. An entire lifetime passed in those handful of seconds. Nial’s frightened eyes found his brother’s, the panic tearing into him like a brand as he reached his one good arm out helplessly. He wouldn’t reach him in time. He would fail.
The stallion’s hooves came down, and with a sickening crack and a scream, his brother fell back to the ground, unconscious. Von reached his side only moments later, the stallion running towards the forest and away from the small human that had set him off. The sight of blood and bone jutting out from his brother’s twisted limbs had Von bending over and retching. His whole body cramping as his stomach emptied again and again. As he knelt there beside his brother’s broken body, the mist began to swirl and overtake him.
It was then he knew with certainty where he had been trapped all this time. The Mother was finally punishing him for his sins. He was in hell.