Chapter 18

 

Julia woke up to a warm, but empty bed. She heard water running in the bathroom. Joe. She remembered crawling into bed, but everything after that was blank. Obviously exhaustion had caught up with her and she’d slept like the dead. Typical. Only she would manage to go to bed with Joe Barone and have nothing to show for it.

The early morning light was soft against the pale yellow walls. The plaster was uneven in places, a chic decorating technique to make the place seem rustic and remind the guests of the history of the building. On the wall facing the bed was one of the many religious paintings in the hotel’s collection. Julia knew that some of them were almost as old as the building. This one showed a warrior angel, and she was pretty sure the image in the clouds was supposed to be God. The painting reminded her of some of the Renaissance works she’d seen in the National Art Gallery in London. Although, to her untrained eye, it didn’t pack the same punch as a Caravaggio. The massive, ornate gold-leafed frame gave the painting weight, though. She could imagine monks in centuries past, kneeling at the base of the artwork and using it to help them focus on God.

“What are you thinking about?”

When she looked over, she found Joe leaning against the doorjamb, drying his hands on a towel. His hair was sleep-rumpled, his chest was bare and his jeans were unbuttoned. Now that was a vision worthy of painting.

“The art.” She pointed at the painting. “I was thinking that Caravaggio is better.”

His lips twitched into a sensuous smile. “I don’t know who that is, babe.”

“Oh, he was a scoundrel, wanted for murder and unpaid debts. He lived the life of a party animal, and when he wasn’t drinking, womanising and gambling, he painted. And he managed to paint some of the most powerful religious art ever made.” She was babbling. Something she had a tendency to do around Joe. She’d learned long ago that people didn’t want to know the facts that were stored in her nerdy mind, and yet Joe had a way of making her say them anyway. When he smiled at her, she felt the need to explain. “Gran was an art professor. Visiting with her was always a lesson of some sort. She’d take us to look at the Caravaggios in the National Gallery, amongst other things.”

“Sounds like an interesting guy. Maybe you could take me sometime?”

“Gran would be the best one to go with. She knows all the wildest stories about the artists.”

Joe’s grin was dazzling. “Julia, I was asking you out on a date.”

“Oh.” Her cheeks flushed and she became intensely aware that she was in his bed. “A date seems kind of redundant, Joe, considering where I am right now.”

That made him laugh, and the sound was like music. It made her blood rush faster.

“I kept my promise.” Joe’s eyes seemed suddenly darker. “I kept my hands to myself and let you sleep.”

It was suddenly difficult to swallow. “Thanks.”

He pushed off the doorjamb and sauntered towards her. The air in the room became charged, sending tingles across her skin. She flicked her tongue out to wet her suddenly dry lips.

“It’s morning now,” Joe said. “You’re awake.” He put a knee on the bed. “I think you should kiss me.”

The words, along with the heat in his eyes, melted her reserve. She realised, in that moment, that her need for Joe now outweighed her fear of getting involved with him. And she badly wanted to feel his lips against hers. Only…

“I can’t. I haven’t brushed my teeth.”

His eyes twinkled. “Do you have to do that before you kiss me?”

She nodded. Kissing was unsanitary enough without adding morning breath to the experience.

“Okay then, go brush your teeth.” With a smile, he sat on the edge of the bed.

Julia threw back the blanket and scurried around the bed to the bathroom. Once inside, she splashed cold water on her face, then used Joe’s toothpaste to brush her teeth. All the while, she examined her feelings and thoughts to see if she had any reservations. There were some, but they’d faded to insignificance. She needed to make a list. That was what she needed to do, but her iPad was in the room with Joe. She’d have to do it mentally. Inside her head she imagined a large whiteboard, and a black marker in her hand, and she began to write a list of her reservations.

1. She was seriously weird.

1a. Joe seemed to like that about her.

2. His alpha behaviour scared the life out of her.

2a. He only ever used his strength to make her feel secure.

3. She had very little sexual experience, and she was betting Joe had lots. The chances of humiliating herself were high.

3a. She’d already humiliated herself more in the past few days than she had in her entire life previously, and she’d survived. Plus, Joe made it clear he wanted her no matter what her experience. (Although it might be a good idea to mention it to him before they start.)

4. The chance of him getting tired of her freaky personality was high. Therefore, this relationship had no hope of being long term.

4a. Maybe, just maybe, she had courage enough to accept that they were only having a fling. After all, she’d had the courage to come to Peru. And to deal with a shootout and a burglary. So what if this thing with Joe didn’t last? She’d survive. Although…

5. When their time together ended, she still had to work with him. That could be awful.

5a. She could get another job. She loved her job with Benson Security, but she could get a different one, if it meant she wouldn’t have to watch Joe move on to other women.

By the time Julia had made her list, she’d rearranged everything in the bathroom to ensure they were in groups of three, with all their labels facing forward.

She groaned and she glanced at the closed door. She’d been in the bathroom a long time—Joe had probably given up on her. Even if she did walk out to be with him, he was most likely already gone.

That didn’t change the one question she had to answer before she took this chance.

Was being with Joe worth the heartache that was bound to come after?

With a deep breath, Julia opened the door.

 

 

Joe leaned back onto his elbows on the bed, his feet still on the floor and his eyes on the bathroom door. He could hear muttering and things being moved around. He would bet his last dollar that she was either trying to talk herself into getting physical with him, or talk herself out of it. There was nothing he could do except wait for the verdict, but every fibre of his being hoped it went in his favour.

When the door opened, he found he was holding his breath. One look at Julia’s face and he knew he’d won. A wave of relief, followed closely by urgent need, flowed through him.

He sat up slowly. “Come here.” His voice had dropped an octave, and if it were possible, he would have purred.

Julia walked to him without hesitation, coming to a halt in the spot he’d pointed to, between his knees. She put her hands on his shoulders and looked into his eyes.

“I don’t have a lot of experience,” she said. It was so earnest that it made his heart ache.

“You don’t need a lot.” Joe curled his hands around the curve of her hips and pulled her to him.

She nibbled at her bottom lip. “I’ll probably screw this up.”

“What makes you think I won’t be the one to screw this up?”

She blinked at him, startled. “I hadn’t thought of that. It doesn’t seem possible. You’re…perfect.”

Joe shook his head. “Jules,” he said on a sigh. “I’m no more perfect than anyone else. We all have faults. Some of us are just better at hiding them, that’s all.”

Her nose scrunched in obvious disbelief. “I think you’re humouring me, Joe Barone. Name one fault you have.”

He tugged her closer, until their chests were pressed together and their lips were a hairbreadth apart. For once, he let her see the intensity he usually hid behind a veneer of charm. She sucked in a breath at the sight.

“You’ve seen Grunt with Claire,” he said, of his Neanderthal best friend and his wife. “The way he does that possessive ‘mine’ crap with her?”

She nodded, and for once there was no gentle reprimand to keep his language clean.

“I’m worse than Grunt, baby. Always have been. When I see something I want, something I know belongs to me, I have to fight not to claim it and lock it up where no one else can get at it. I make Grunt’s possessive streak look normal. The only difference is that the big bastard has never tried to hide it, whereas I’m very good at hiding what I need.”

“Don’t swear,” she whispered.

His lip twitched. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“I’m not stupid. You’re saying you have an obsessive and possessive streak.”

He slid his hands under her camisole to caress the soft skin on her back. Smooth and warm. Her eyelids fluttered down before she lifted them again.

“It isn’t a streak. It’s all of me.” He inclined his head and nuzzled at the crook of her neck, his lips touching golden skin as he breathed in her subtle scent of spring flowers. Delicious. She was delicious, and he couldn’t resist a taste. He flicked out his tongue to swirl before he gently nibbled at the muscle. He felt her shiver under his firm hold. Her fingers dug into his shoulders as her breathing sped up.

When he stopped kissing her throat and looked at her face, her cheeks were pink and her eyes were slightly glazed. Beautiful. So incredibly beautiful.

“That’s hardly a terrible flaw.” Her voice was husky.

“No?” He cocked an eyebrow at her. “The need to possess. To own. It’s a hunger. An all-consuming drive I have to fight every day. If I didn’t, the things I wanted for mine would never see the light of day, would never be free.”

“Things?” It was barely a whisper.

Of course she would focus on that word, when he was trying to protect her from the heart of him. The need in him that constantly raged like a consuming fire, and which he continuously fought to ensure it wouldn’t take over completely.

“You should be worried.” He felt the need to be honest with her. To give her this one last chance to escape—even though it almost broke him to do it.

“Why?” She searched his eyes, looking for the answer.

“Because”—he closed the slight distance between them and spoke against her lush lips—“I’ve never wanted anything more than I want you. This is your last chance. If you want out, go now. I don’t think I can let you go if we take this further.”

Her hands came up to cup his cheeks. “Yes. You would.”

He started to disagree, but she shocked him by pressing a gentle kiss to his lips to silence him.

“I know you would let me go, because you aren’t only about possession. You’re about honour. And your honour would never let you keep someone against their will. Your honour is the reason you fight your need to consume. Your honour is the reason you’re telling me this. You’ll never cage me, because you’ll always fight against the need. It’s who you are.”

Joe was in awe. To see himself through her eyes was to see a hero. If he hadn’t been crazy about her before her earnest declaration, he would be now. Because he wanted nothing more than to live his life seeing himself through Julia’s eyes. He wanted to tell her he loved her, all of her, but he knew the words would terrify rather than give hope, and she was right about one thing: he would rather die than hurt her.

“Kiss me again, baby,” he said instead of declaring his love.

“Will you kiss me back?” Her timid smile told him she was teasing.

“Always.” It was a vow.

This time when her lips touched his, Joe cupped her nape and splayed a hand on the small of her back. He pulled her flush against him. The minty taste of toothpaste did nothing to detract from the deliciousness that was Julia. She slid her hands off his shoulders to wrap her arms around him. The position lifted her breasts as they pressed against his chest. He felt her hard little nipples, heard her panting breaths around their kiss. Her lips were full and soft and lush. He wanted to nibble on them for hours.

Under his hands he felt her body grow languid. Their kiss deepened, becoming an intense dance of tongue and teeth. It was as though he’d been kissing her forever. When they broke apart, they were both breathing heavily. Julia’s cheeks were flushed a deep, rosy pink, and her eyes were dark with desire.

“More?” His voice was husky with need.

“More.”

Joe slid his hands down the pink satin of her camisole until he hooked underneath.

“Off,” he said.

There was a slight hesitation before Julia lifted her arms to let him slide the material over her head. He removed it slowly, knowing that the glide of material over her skin would be a sensual delight. A tiny gasp escaped her when the satin tugged over her engorged breasts.

“Beautiful,” Joe told her as he looked down at the rounded handfuls, with rosy nipples that matched the colour of her cheeks.

He tossed the top to the floor and ran his hands up and down her back as he looked into her eyes. All he saw shining out at him was desire.

She cupped his cheeks and studied him. “You really believe it when you say things like that, don’t you?” She sounded awed.

Joe couldn’t believe her words. To be so stunning and yet never see it. How was that possible? But Julia was more than her beauty. There was a golden light inside of her. One that couldn’t be hidden. Even if she wasn’t gorgeous to look at, she would still be gorgeous, because of who she was. Her beauty was soul deep. The kind that would never fade or tarnish. She would always be stunning to him. Always.

“You,” he said huskily, “are beautiful inside and out. You humble me.”

“Oh, Joe,” she whispered.

He could tell she was touched, but unconvinced. It didn’t matter. He planned to spend a lifetime convincing her.

Joe lowered his face, nuzzling her throat and neck. She arched into his touch, angling her head to give him better access. Her little gasps of pleasure, as he licked and nipped and sucked her ivory skin, made his heart beat faster.

Joe felt her knees weaken and tightened his hold on her waist to keep her in place. Her skin was warm and soft, easily marked by his kisses. He gentled his touch, wanting to make sure he didn’t hurt her.

“No.” Julia clutched at his shoulders. “Harder.”

“You’ll bruise.” And he wouldn’t do that to her.

“I want to feel you. I want to know this is real and not another dream.”

Her whispered confession made his hold tighten, and he fought to relax. “This is real. I promise you.”

“Then make me feel it.”

Her plea made his restraint snap. Holding her tight, he lifted her and twisted them both onto the bed behind him. Joe lay at her side, his body flush against her, his arm supporting his weight above her head, while his other hand wandered.

Dazed eyes looked up at him as Julia threaded her fingers into his hair and tugged his mouth down for a kiss. He took her with a ferocity that left them both breathless. All the while, his hand shaped and caressed her breasts. Learning what she liked, feeling the weight of her. He pinched her nipple before tracing his finger around the areola. Her back came off the bed to press into his touch.

“More,” she gasped against his kiss-swollen lips.

He felt dazed, out of control, lost in her. “What do you want, Julia? I’ll give you anything you want.”

“I want your mouth,” she whispered somewhat desperately. “I want to feel your mouth on my b-breasts.” She stumbled over the words, as though shocked she could say them out loud.

Joe didn’t make her ask twice. Supporting his weight on both arms, he lowered his head and sucked one of her nipples into his mouth. He was relentless, sucking her deep, letting her feel the ferocity of his need, making her lift off the bed and claw at the sheet beneath them. When he rasped her nipples with his teeth, she moaned and suddenly clasped the back of his head. Her fingers tightened in his hair, tugging, keeping him in place.

“Harder,” she moaned. “Oh, please.”

He gave her what she wanted, sucking hard while he teased the neglected nipple on her other breast with his fingers. She went wild beneath him, all fire and passion. A raging fire that could easily be stoked into an inferno. She writhed with his touch, her gasps and moans a symphony to his ears. Her hips were undulating, seeking something that wasn’t there, making her groan with frustration.

“Joe, I need you.” It was a plea.

He released her nipple with a pop. “I know what you need.” He crawled up her body and took her mouth with his. This wasn’t a kiss. It was a possession. And the strangest thing about it was that it wasn’t him who was doing the possessing. He felt taken over by Julia. Consumed by her.

And it was wonderful.

He felt hands on his chest. Nails across his nipples. Her fingers trailed back and forth in the hair between his pecs. He was swimming in her. Floating away on her taste and touch.

He ran his hand from her throat, between her breasts and over her navel until he reached the waistband of her pants.

Breaking the kiss, he supported himself on his elbow while he looked down at her. She was panting; the flush in her cheeks had blossomed out to touch her throat and chest.

“How far?” He didn’t want to scare her. Didn’t want her regretting this. Regretting them. He needed to know how far he could take it.

She tugged at the back of his head. Joe instantly understood. There were things Julia could only whisper in darkness. That wouldn’t always be the way between them, but for now, if it made her feel more secure, he’d happily give her it.

He turned to give her his ear.

“I’m on the pill,” she whispered.

Every muscle in his body went taut. He studied her face, looking for any sign that she might feel this was something she had to rush into. She didn’t. Not with him. He would wait a lifetime for her. Her eyelids were lowered, her cheeks redder than seconds earlier. She was embarrassed by her own boldness.

“Baby?” When she looked at him, the depth of longing he found in her eyes was a punch that sent him reeling. Because it was for him. “You trust me that much?”

She sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth and then gave him a jerky nod. He was about to say something when she opened her lips. He waited for her to speak.

“I’m not a virgin.” Her face turned luminous. “And I know you would protect me if you thought you could harm me.”

Hell! She brought him to his knees. He had to clear his throat to speak. “I’ve been tested. I’m clean.” He brushed his fingers through her silky hair. “And I would die before I hurt you.”

Her eyes turned impossibly dark. “Then take me,” she whispered.

His eyes locked on hers, so he couldn’t miss it when it happened.

He saw the moment Julia Collins gave herself to him. He saw her give her soul. Willingly. To him. Joe snatched it before she could take it back. He hid it deep inside of himself, where nothing could touch it. Where it would be safe. Where he could protect her. Because nothing would get through him to damage the precious gift Julia had just given him. Nothing.

She was his. Julia was his. She might not have realised what just happened, but Joe didn’t care. He’d coax her along until she caught up. But this woman was his. Forever. To protect. To love. To keep.

He fell on her with a hungry kiss that stole his senses. All he could think of, all he could see, hear, smell, feel was Julia. This woman who humbled him with her courage and trust.

Joe dipped his hand under the waistband of her sleep pants, feeling the edge of cotton against his fingertips. He’d never felt anything sexier. A desperate need to see her naked almost derailed him. But this was about Julia. This was about building a future for them. And the foundation had to be perfect.

He slid his fingers under the cotton, feeling damp, silken curls. He trailed a finger through her wetness, making her lift her hips from the bed. She thrust her tongue into his mouth and groaned. Desperate—she sounded desperate. He circled the little nub of nerves that would drive her even closer to the edge, swallowing her gasps and moans. Her breasts pressed against his chest. Soft to hard. Nails dug into his shoulder as he drove her higher. She was so slick with wanting him that he had to fight the urge to rip her pants off and plunge deep inside of her.

Slowly, oh so slowly, he dipped a finger inside her, feeling her clench around him. A sweat broke out on his back when she forgot to kiss him, lost in sensation and unable to focus on anything else. Joe shifted lower to her throat. Her head went back as he rubbed circles around her clit. Her knees fell wide. Her hips pushed up to him and he moved his finger in and out of her, mimicking the action he’d soon enact. Short, shallow breaths, eyes shut, cheeks flushed, her lips parted as she gasped his name. He’d never seen anything so beautiful and knew he never would. This was it. Julia was the standard by which everything else would be judged, and he already knew he’d find it wanting.

“Joe.” It was a slightly hysterical plea.

He felt her muscles tremble and tense. She tightened around his finger, making him ache to be inside her. He pressed his thumb to her clit and watched her explode. A second of tense nothing—no breathing, no noise, no movement—before everything in her shuddered and gasped and reached for him. Her thighs pressed together, keeping him in place. He didn’t stroke her any more, knowing she was sensitive. Instead, he kissed her throat and soothed her with murmured words, telling her how beautiful she was and how wonderful she’d been.

With languorous movements, her thighs relaxed to release his hand, and she shuddered when his finger slid out of her. A slow, heavy flutter of her eyelids before she looked up at him. No, she looked into him. In that moment, he knew she could see his soul. He only hoped she knew what she was looking at, because his soul was tattooed with her name. He was hers. Forever.

Julia lay sated and pliant as Joe slid her sleep pants and underwear down her legs. He stood to take off his jeans, lost for words at the sight of her, naked on his bed. A second later, he was crawling between her thighs, pressing his body against hers. He stared into her eyes, wanting to tell her he loved her, terrified it would ruin everything if he did. All he could do was show her.

His kiss was gentle, slow, teasing as he pressed his hard length into her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hooked her feet over his thighs, surrounding him. Grounding him. The world faded completely as he slid inside her. There was only Julia. He couldn’t put what was happening into words. His mind was recording every sensation, every movement, every sound she made. He felt her wet heat grip him tight. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he noted how perfectly they fit, but it was a fleeting whisper of a thought. In this place, a place where only they existed, there was no space for thought. Only feeling. Knowing. Showing.

As he rocked his hips, he watched her eyes close in slow motion, as though it was too much effort to keep them open. Joe slid a hand under her rear, angling her the way he needed her, until he pressed against that secret part of her that sent shocks of wildfire dancing over her skin. She clenched around him, making him groan. He wanted this to last for hours but knew it would be over far too soon.

Their hips moved as one, in a perfect rhythm that had them gasping for air. Her legs tightened around him. Joe felt her nipples rasp against his chest. He leaned up to watch her face as he spoke to her with his body. As he told her she was it for him. She was his forever. And she would always belong to him.

He felt the tightening at the base of his cock. His legs tingled. His muscles clenched.

“Mine,” he barked. “Mine.”

He moved his hand out from under her, splaying his fingers low on her abdomen, aiming for that little button of pleasure, stroking it hard, making her tense with him. Making her fall with him. Together. Always.

Her head fell back, her neck flexed, she wailed her release and he felt her milk him with muscles deep inside of her. A second later, he followed, in an explosion of jerking muscle and blinding sensation.

It was over too soon, his muscles suddenly unable to hold his weight, but he wasn’t ready to release her. So he rolled until Julia was spread on top of him and he was still inside of her.

She groaned her complaint, but otherwise didn’t move. They lay there, boneless and worn out, sated for the time being. Joe stroked his hand down her back to the curve of her behind. So much more to touch, to do. He’d need a lifetime to learn her.

Julia wriggled a little, sending shock waves throughout his body.

“I can’t believe we did that with an angel watching,” she said with a husky voice. “That is so wrong.”

Joe looked up at the painting facing the bed and started to chuckle. He held Julia tight as he rocked her body with his laughter. Which grew even more raucous when Julia grumbled at him. He wrapped his arms tight around her and felt her smooth, soft roundness against him.

Bliss. This was bliss. Now he just had to convince her that this was forever.

Because he wouldn’t settle for less.