(Skulls Renegade #5)

Chapter 1

Katya

There are times throughout your life where no matter what you do, you will always be viewed as the monster. This is something that I know very well. For I have been a monster since I was nothing but a child. Most people wouldn’t accept such a word, they wouldn’t want to openly admit that this is what they are.

I know what I am and am not afraid of it.

Others, well you see – they will try to find ways for me to cope with what I am. They will search and search and try to say it was my mother or maybe even my father, that my experiences shaped me into what I am today. Fuck, they may even say that it was my husband and that I suffer from Stockholm’s Syndrome and that would give them reason enough to accept what I am.

I don’t give a fuck about anybody, so disappointing someone does not upset me.

The only person who molded me into the monster I am today is the one I must face in mirror every morning, like I am at this very moment.

I look into the crystal clean mirror before my eyes, picking up on every detail that is shown before me. The entire bathroom is on display, from the black tile floor with the bronze grout that my husband insisted we added, to our walk-in shower and separate tub that is lined with excavated rocks from the Carnallite mines back in our home country of Russia, to the floor to ceiling windows overlooking New York City, giving me a breathtaking view of Central Park and all around it. Every small detail of this bathroom has been a meticulous, calculating choice made by one person, my husband, Sergei Kolosov.

Sergei is an interesting man, and I use the word interesting lightly. He has a way of maintaining order and making sure that everyone around him knows exactly who he is. Those are some of the smallest reasons on why I love him, scars and all.

Sergei may indeed be a monstrosity, but he is the monster that I belong to.

When life happened and we ended up with Sergei I made sure that Ksenia and I would stay safe, doing anything that I had to do. I would have done anything for my little sister and still would to this very day. Above all, my family means everything to me, even if they don’t think that they do.

The story of how I came to be with Sergei is a long, dark tale, but nonetheless, it is my story. It is my life, and maybe one day, it will be my legacy.

Now, I can’t help but think of what he had done, and how the events of that night shaped my very future.

I’ve been here for a few weeks with Ksenia, they don’t speak to us very much and I suppose this is a good thing. We have been thrown around so much, sold to another and another. It makes me wonder if we are defective, why would we be sold this much? Is it because we are Petrov’s? Are we valuable, somehow? Or… will they end up killing us because they know who we are?

Every thought that can surge through my mind has come and gone, and yet I am still left with only one thing – the unknown.

“Sister…” I listen as Ksenia whispers next to me, finally, I take in a deep breath in and brace myself, turning towards her and seeing the fear that is obvious in her beady eyes. She reminds me of Bambi, of something so defenseless and weak. There are things that Ksenia does not understand, and if we were in any situation but the one we were – Well then, maybe I wouldn’t mind it if she were so weak, so fragile, so fucking innocent. But here we are, living a fucking nightmare. They make movies about the things we have to go through, and I say we, but what I really mean is I. What I have to go through, so these foul beasts don’t lay a hand on her. I have done horrible things, things that I shouldn’t have done. If we had a normal life, I would be called many names, I would even shame my family…I simply must remind myself that I have no ordinary life, and by doing what I have to I am assuring one thing, the most important thing – our survival.

“Girl!” I startle, jumping up at the sound of one of the guards, one who I have become very familiar with, in both good ways and bad. His name is Egor, and I do things for Egor that assures not only my safety, but Ksenia’s as well. I look into his eyes, trying to see what it is he wants. He either wants to fuck me, or I am in trouble – it could be both. I am bound to find out sooner or later. “Come.” His words lace with venom and hatred, he does normally speak to me in this way, however I know that something isn’t right.

I look down to Ksenia who is practically shaking at the sight of Egor. If she only knew what I did, then she would have reason to rest a bit easier. Fuck. What am I even saying? There is no reason for her nor I to rest easier. We are as safe in this place as we are anywhere else. Meaning, that we aren’t. We will never be safe.

We will never be safe ever again, our mother guaranteed that.

I take a few slow steps towards Egor, until he gives me one distinctive look that makes me stop dead in my tracks. He is giving me the very look that he gives the others when they are about to be branded, like a cow, or even a horse. Being sold has never been something that I thought would happen. I thought that if I would simply just…please the guards that they would keep us safe. I didn’t anticipate this, nor expect it. Fuck. What in the world have I been doing?

“Come. We don’t have all day!” He snarls at me, yanking me towards him as he latches his hand with a firm grip in my hair, he tugs and leads me out of our small cubby of a room and down the hall.

I take in slow, deep breaths, for I know what is coming. I have heard the others scream and I have seen how the metal burns their flesh. For a moment, I am afraid, and rightfully so. There is nothing that I can do to control what is about to happen to me, and my only concern is on my sister. If I have been sold…where will she go? What will happen to Ksenia? We have been together for far too long for us to be split apart now. Yet…that is the only thing that has happened to our family.

We have been torn apart.

My brother was sold as a young boy, ripped from our lives and somehow…someway, we stayed with our mother for a few years, and then it was our turn to be discarded. That’s what she did. She discarded us as if we were nothing. I still don’t understand why, but one day I will – if I live long enough to see that day.

Egor shoves me against the wall quickly, I feel everything as he pushes his body against my own, gliding his nose and mouth against my shoulder. “You. I don’t know why, but you always smell so good. You are different than the others, so very different. This makes you special to me, you see this, yes?”

“Yes,” I agree with him, my mind running in circles trying to understand what is going on.

“I know you are a smart girl, Katya. If you weren’t smart you would not be sucking my cock and fucking me at every beck and call. We both know this.” He flips me around harshly, my shoulder blades digging into the concrete behind me. “I will have you know that I do no favors, this is not in my nature. You are something, and you are nothing. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” I tell him, lying straight through my teeth. I just want him to cut the bullshit and get to the point.

“You are something because you are different than all the rest who have come here, to this place.” He moves his hand around in a circle, “You, girl, are smart, and because of this I know you will accomplish much, even being a slave – I do not see you as one for long, especially with the man I have talked into purchasing you.”

I do not utter a word. I am simply breathing, processing what he just told me.

“My cousin, Sergei has been looking for someone like you, for a long, long time. He is older, and he will beat you until you turn black, he will violate and destroy you in every way you could ever imagine. He is a monster, sweet, sweet Katya. I think that you both will get along well, don’t you?” Those were the last words that were uttered to me before everything went black.

The last thing I remember is Egor telling me that my husband was as monstrous as I know him to be, yet, Egor didn’t tell me everything. No, and even Sergei didn’t. I had to find out things the hard way, and I always did.

Egor was right about one thing, though.

Sergei and I did get along, very well.

Maybe we got along too well.