Chapter Eight
“Ari agreed to go on a date with me.”
Everett was sitting outside the bunkhouse when Logan arrived. One look at his face and the older man had begun teasing him endlessly. At last, Logan had to admit to the man that he’d weaseled another date out of Ari. Everett’s shaggy eyebrows shot up as he stared at Logan pointedly.
Logan laughed. Not even Everett’s teasing could ruin his mood tonight. “Well, it’s not so much of a date,” he allowed. “We were in front of Hope Mountain and she seemed to love it so much, I volunteered to take her to an equally intriguing place tomorrow for lunch. She said yes.”
Everett nodded sagely as if he’d just announced that he was the new pope. “Ah, took advantage of the happy situation, didn’t you? Of course, she would say yes and I bet she wouldn’t think too much on it.” He smirked. “I see what you’re doing,”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Logan retorted, joining Everett on the floor. But of course, he knew. And so did Everett. With a contented smile on his face, he stared into the night sky, thinking it was a beautiful night.
“That’s all good for you,” Everett continued in a voice that alerted Logan to a warning in coming. “You deserve some quality time with the lady, and come to think of it, so does she. Word of advice though…don’t get ahead of yourself.”
Logan didn’t understand the man. “What does that mean?”
“I already figured you’re prepared to go slow-like with her and that’s fine. Then now, you have a date and it might turn the tides, give you ideas, if you get what I mean. This gal’s been through the wringer, Logan. Lord knows I don’t need to tell you this. And just because she’s smiling and rubbing butts with us right now doesn’t mean she doesn’t still have scars. A couple of months aren’t going to be enough to heal years’ worth of abuse. Believe me, these sorts of scars run deeper than anyone can ever imagine. It takes time to get over stuff, find oneself. Be careful with her. Handle her with care.”
Something in Everett’s tone spoke of a personal battle with scars that ran deep. Logan knew better than to ask. He knew everyone had their little secrets they didn’t want to share. “I know all that,” Logan said a little bit defensively before adding in a softer voice, “I’ve been thinking of that the whole time.”
“Oh, have you?” Everett asked, brows wagging like a caterpillar trying to get away from a predator. “Or have you been thinking about what you really want to do with her?”
Logan rose on his elbow to scowl at his older friend even though it was dark. “I really care about her.”
“I know you do.”
It was silent between them for a long while before Logan spoke up again, “The last thing I want to do is make her uneasy in any way.”
“I’m not saying you’d do it on purpose,” Everett said patiently. “I’m just reminding you that when you reach that point where you’re not thinking with your head anymore, she’s still going to be tender from her old life. Go on and lead the way if you like, but let her set the pace. Let her decide if she wants to be with you, go to bed with you and every other single damn thing. I’m willing to bet she didn’t get much say in that marriage of hers. She’s bound to appreciate feeling some sense of control. In fact, she needs to be in control.”
Logan couldn’t agree more. By now, he knew better than to rush things with her. That day at the stable when he’d confronted her about running from him, she had looked so beautifully confused. That was when he knew he was in love with her. It was such simple truth that he couldn’t deny it. Logan Cartwright also couldn’t deny that he would do anything to have her. He should have recognized the signs from the beginning.
That day at the stable, he had also come to one realization: Ari had no idea what he felt for her. She also had no idea she was attracted to him. Of course, Logan couldn’t be too sure she was attracted to him, but couldn’t have been avoiding him for any other reason, if her confused look that day was anything to go by. It was why he asked her if she’d dated before she’d married the oaf who treated her badly. When she replied in the negative, he was even more convinced she was pretty much naïve when it came to relationships.
He’d decided then and there to woo her slowly. He was in love with her and he swore to teach her to love him too.
Everett’s soft snore told him the man was now asleep. But sleep eluded Logan. All through the night, he tried to come up with a plan. It was high time he wooed Ari like the proper lady she was.
*****
For the umpteenth time, Ari tried to find out where he was taking her.
“It would have been so nice if I’d known just where we’re going,” she said, looking at him from under her lashes. “I could have brought a sweater if it’s on the outside or an umbrella or worn the new dress Khloe knitted for me…”
Logan laughed at her antics. “Come on now, don’t be such a spoilsport, you’ll know soon enough,” he replied in a soft chiding voice.
“I hate suspense,” she complained.
“And so I am coming to realize,” Logan muttered jokingly.
She laughed. “You sound as if it is a bad thing!” She playfully hit him on the shoulder.
They were now good chums and she wasn’t hesitant with him anymore. With each day, he kept learning something new about her. Today, he’d discovered another thing about Ari. She hated surprises. He couldn’t tell if it was because of her marriage or if it was the way she was as a child. He was willing to bet this trait of hers was from childhood. She didn’t seem bitter about not liking surprises; rather, she was looking right now like an imp who could wreck disaster if the surprise wasn’t worth her time. He could well imagine a laughing scamp of a girl with curls stamping her feet and begging to get the chance to unwrap her Christmas gifts early.
This side of her he liked well enough. He stole a glance at her as he turned a corner. The smile on her face lit up the sky. She looked beautiful and he was falling dangerously close to parking the car and kissing her on the lips, damn it!
But nobody knew better than he that his control was essential. So, he just kept on driving and said in reply, “It’s a bad thing if you can’t even let a man drive in peace. Come on, you can ask until you’re blue in the face and I still wouldn’t tell you until you see for yourself.”
“That’s not fair!”
He shrugged. “Shoot me then.”
She threw him a mock glare and he stuck at a tongue at her.
She burst into a fit of laughter. “You are just so cute,” she said amidst laughter.
He threw her a smug smirk before his letting his gaze fall on the road again. “I’ve heard many ladies say exactly that before they come falling into my bed!”
“Sure!” she rolled her eyes at him, laughing harder this time.
Logan was happy to see her laugh and joined in. They both knew there were no ladies falling into his bed. For that, Logan was grateful he’d kept off the ladies before she came. He’d thought it was self discipline then, but surely, he’d unknowingly been preparing for her arrival.
“Mind if I ask you something?” she said when their laughter subsided.
“Sure,” he said, still smiling. He would answer any question if only she’d ask.
“How come you don’t have a gal already?”
She’d drawled out the ‘gal’ and he could imagine her eyes twinkling even though he had to keep his eyes on the road as he switched lanes.
“You’re certainly a ladies’ gentleman,” Ari pointed out when he didn’t reply straightaway. “Is it just a lack of options? Faye keeps haranguing about how there aren’t so many people on the ranch and for miles to choose from. Is that why you aren’t hooked up with someone?”
He simply shrugged. “I only joined the ranch shy of two years ago. I could be ‘hooked up’ with someone already for all you know.”
“But you aren’t,” Ari said confidently.
This time, he rolled his eyes at her. “And you know that because…?”
“Val’s daughters are all but spoken for, and I heard that y—” she stopped short, apparently realizing she’d been gossiping about him.
He looked over at her expectantly.
“That you,” she continued most reluctantly, “Haven’t shown interest in anyone. Even in town.” Then she added in a shy tone, “I certainly would know. I’ve been around a while too.”
And because his first priority was always to put Ari at ease, he gave a casual shake of his head and said, “That would be true.”
She seemed relieved he was taking the conversation coolly. Her smile returned and the mischief was back in her eyes.
He felt glad she was preoccupied with their discussion because he was driving them into a private property and she wasn’t even aware.
Good, so much better for the surprise.
“Why is that?” she asked him.
“I don’t know,” he muttered. “None of them really…” He shrugged again, “…had it.”
“Had what?” the reply was prompt.
“My attention.”
Their gaze collided for the barest of moments and Logan felt his wall slip. Her eyes searched his and he imagined she could see into his soul and ferret out all his secrets. There was something behind her eyes too; a dawning understanding, a reality she wasn’t willing to face yet.
“It takes time to get over stuff, find oneself. Do be careful with her.”
He was the first to look away.
She didn’t say anything afterwards.
“Yup, here we are,” he said barely a minute later.
He knew she’d been deep in thought when she exclaimed her surprise at where he brought her; she would have noticed earlier otherwise.
“Oh, my god!” she exclaimed as her eyes widened to take in the park. “What is this place?”
“This here is called the Tanner’s cottage,” he told her, “though as you can see, it is far from a cottage anyway.” He enjoyed every single sensation of happiness that showed in her eyes.
Like a child at Christmas, she opened the door and jumped out of the car, without even waiting for him to do the gentlemanly thing, excitement showing in her every step.
Through her eyes, he tried to take in their surroundings. The first thing one would notice would be the colors, he decided. Bougainvillea grew abundantly all over the stretch of the compound that was the Tanner’s cottage. The plant was in full bloom now and the colors were a wonderful sight. Other exotic flowers grew all around too, giving the impression of warm spring instead of winter. Then, there was the cottage in itself which wasn’t a cottage at all.
More a mansion, Logan chuckled to himself. The owner of the Tanner’s cottage must have been one humble man.
Even though the mansion was in ruins and looking in bad need of repairs, it was still a magnificent sight. Standing tall and proud at four floors, its white-washed walls and Victorian architecture gave it a regal look decades after it was first constructed. The land around the house was vast and filled with a majestic lawn.
“How on earth is there a place like this going to waste?” Ari asked in an awe-filled voice. “How did you even find it?”
“Well Graham showed me this place a few months ago while we were in town. He is a real estate agent remember?”
“Don’t tell me someone wants to sell this beautiful property.” Ari clasped a hand to her breasts.
“Heartbreaking, huh? Graham says the only surviving member of the family didn’t want to live here…too many memories.”
“I can imagine,” Ari said, looking at the big, forlorn mansion. “So why isn’t it sold?”
Logan shrugged. “Graham said he is yet to find someone who can find a suitable use for it.”
Ari gave him a puzzled look.
“The owner stipulated that he wants to know what the mansion and the lands would be used for. He’s not satisfied with all the bids. Graham claims this here is his most frustrating sale. He’s had offers from a church, a casino and a hotel. He turned them all down. The owner is quite eccentric.”
“Actually, I think his demands make sense.” She smiled at him. “I would also want to rest assured, knowing my memories would be treated with respect. For the love of god, how can anybody ever want to make this out into a hotel or a casino? And a church doesn’t fit either—lord, forgive me.”
“And should you be a potential buyer, little Miss Memories, what would you propose to do with it?” he asked with a smile.
A far-way look entered Ari’s eyes as she gazed at the building. “Why, I would convert it into an orphanage. I always wanted to build one.”
Logan took this in with surprise. “And the lands?” he asked softly.
“I grew up on a farm.” Ari shook herself, seeming to recollect where she was. “I could build a very nice animal farm right here.” Suddenly, she laughed. “And here I am planning out someone else’s property when I can’t even afford to rent myself a room!” She pointed at a tree several feet away. “I say we have our picnic right there under that tree; what do you think?”
*****
Logan really had thought about everything.
There were all kinds of fruits and snacks in the picnic basket he’d packed. Khloe had let it slip he’d really been fussy about what he wanted her to pack in the basket. Ari thought it sweet he went all the way for her. He’d even packed a sweater for her in case the weather turned cold all of a sudden; it wasn’t odd for it to do so. Winter was leaving; it had since about two weeks ago, but it was early yet to go out without a sweater and she was glad for Logan’s thoughtfulness.
When he asked her to go out for lunch with him, a part of her had wanted to say no, to shy away from their closeness. Now, she felt thankful she hadn’t listened to that voice. She was glad for his company. And she really needed some time away from the ranch. Since she started working at the Westbrooke Ranch, she barely had time to get away. Of course, it wasn’t that she was complaining. She loved the work and Val and the girl to pieces; their company was precious to her, too. Even Val had agreed she really needed some form of relaxation outside of the ranch. Then Logan had come right in with his gesture.
“I like this surprise,” she told him, biting into one of Val’s croissant.
“Really? Who doesn’t like surprises?” Logan rolled his eyes at her. “You must have been a terrible child during Christmas.” His grin was teasing.
“Now that you mentioned it, I think I was.”
“Oh? Tell me about it.”
She saw interest in his eyes and she suddenly realized they barely knew each other. She’d been on the ranch some months now and he didn’t know anything about her outside of her disgraceful marriage. Somehow, the thought was unsettling. She hadn’t always been a victim and it was inexplicable but she wanted him to know that. “Yeah, I’ll tell you if you tell me about your younger days, too.”
At that time, she looked into the basket to grab a bottle of water but she could have sworn she glimpsed a veil come across Logan’s eyes at her suggestion. When she looked up, however, he was all smiles.
“You’re on,” he told her.
Shrugging and dismissing her earlier thoughts, she proceeded to regale him with tales of her childhood. “Like I said earlier, I grew up on a farm with my father, mother and sister, Emily. She was only two years older and we were really close though you could never find such contrasting individuals as Emily and me. While she was really gentle and mostly obedient, I was quite the tomboy and did the exact opposite of what I was told. Mama always said I would be the death of her.” Her eyes prickled with tears as she remembered her mother. She felt Logan’s hands on hers.
“What happened to her?” he asked.
“She died while trying to give birth to our brother. She was forty-nine; the doctor said her body couldn’t take the stress. And the boy didn’t even live to see the next day. Turned out, I wasn’t going to be the death of her.” Ari tried to smile but a tear slipped instead. “I’m so sorry,” she said hurriedly and wiped at the tear. “It’s been ages, but I still miss her. She was the best mom, really. We weren’t really close to our dad; he was always out working on the farm and she was close to all we had.”
“I’m sorry.”
She nodded.
“What happened to you girls?” Logan asked after a while.
“We were lost, that’s what.” Ari shook her head as she remembered. “We didn’t know what to do without our mother. Emily was thirteen and I was eleven. Our father didn’t pay us any more attention than he did when our mother was alive. We girls went wild. Well, Emily did and I just retreated into myself. Actually, everyone thought I would go wild but we just switched roles. Barely a year later, father remarried and his wife gave him the son he always wanted. Life got worse. Emily hung around with the bad guys and they smoked pot. One day, I confronted her and we ended up crying together. That was when she said we would be better off as orphans. Well, she came back home for me but said she was done with school. She and father always fought. Emily hated him.”
“You poor girls,” Logan whispered.
Ari had no idea when they came to be seated side by side on the grass instead of facing each other across the picnic basket. However, his shoulders rubbing against hers gave her some comfort and she couldn’t complain. The smell of sandalwood filled her senses. Her hands were in his and she liked the callousness of his against her smooth ones. In a little voice, she added, “Perhaps, I did too. I hated him especially when he kicked Emily out of the house for coming home pregnant.”
“Whoa! That wasn’t too nice.”
“That is an understatement. I only got into college too and wasn’t home when the show went down. By the time I got to know, Emily was out of the house and I couldn’t find her for months. I eventually found out she’d died during childbirth.” The tears were flowing readily now and she went into Logan’s arms as he drew her closer. She sobbed into his shirt, crying for the sister she’d loved with all her life. She cried for her mother, too, for the life she had lost.
Logan simply held her, letting her cry and she was grateful for it. She’d never had a good cry since Emily died.
“You must think I’m jinxed right?” she said almost to herself. “My life has been one mess after the other. As a matter of fact, I was beginning to think I was, too, especially after marrying Dan. Stupid me, I’d thought he was the end to all my troubles. I didn’t want to go back to dad’s house after college, you see. I accepted his proposal with that in mind.”
“You are not jinxed,” Logan murmured into her hair.
“Of course I am,” she insisted. Her nose was still buried in his shirt even though the tears were abating now. “I think my fortune only began to change when you found me by the stream. I found everything I’d lost with you guys on the ranch: sisters, a mother, and friends like you. I found a family when I thought I could never have one of my own.”
She raised her head to look into his eyes. “I never really thanked you properly for finding me,” she said and leaned in to kiss his cheek.
She didn’t know how it happened; she’d really leaned in to kiss his cheek but somehow, her lips met his and they were kissing and he was touching her and she was running her hands all over his chest.
It all felt magical; kissing Logan was like a wish she didn’t know she had, just came true. His lips were urgent against hers and she matched his urgency. A tingling sensation started from her lips and traveled all the way to her toes. Every bone in her body melted at his touch and she moaned mindlessly. She leaned into him, hungry for more of his body.
To her surprise, he abruptly stopped kissing her.
Gently, he pushed her away from him. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”
The scratchy note to his voice registered in her mind, telling her just how hard it was for him to pull away. Her mind was delirious with desire, however, and she tried to get back into his hands. It was safe there and he made her feel whole, all woman.
“No, Ari, you don’t know what you’re doing and I don’t want to take advantage of you,” he said firmly.
His determination finally penetrated into her consciousness. Her eyes found his and she saw a strong emotion there. For the first time, she realized Logan saw her as a woman and she was afraid she saw him as a man. She’d almost jumped his bones a few seconds ago!
The reality was unsettling. She was just getting untangled from a man and here she was kissing another. Hadn’t she learned anything?
Suddenly, she couldn’t look into his eyes anymore. Clumsily, she eased out of his hands and fidgeted with her hair, straightening it and shifting further away from him.
“Ari,” Logan called.
“Oh, yeah, where were we?” she asked in a voice that sounded high-strung even to her. “You promised to tell me all about growing up.”
“Ari,” Logan called more firmly. “Look at me.”
His voice brooked no argument and she did.
Logan shifted as if to draw closer to her but seemed to change his mind and stood up instead. He leaned against the tree under which they were and looked down into her eyes. “I won’t shy away from what just happened between us,” he began. “Doing so would make me irresponsible and that is the last thing I am, lady. However, I would hate that you do the same. I want you to know it’s perfectly normal to be attracted to a man; it doesn’t make you less of a woman for it.”
A part of her recognized the truth of his words but she still couldn’t make herself quite meet his gaze.
He sighed. “Look at me, Ari.” He crouched on his knees before her. “Please don’t hate me for this,” he pleaded.
Ari was surprised. She was the one who’d kissed him. She was the one who had her hands all over him and didn’t want to let go. What was he talking about? Suddenly, she remembered the one time he pinched her. She remembered he’d blamed himself even when she told him not to. She guessed Logan was one to take responsibility hard.
It was her turn to sigh. “I’m behaving like a spoilt child, aren’t I?” she said in a small voice. “It is no fault of yours. In fact, it’s mine and I’m sorry. I should have got a better hold of myself.”
“I don’t blame you…” Logan started.
“…And I don’t blame you either,” she interrupted.
He looked into her eyes and smiled.
She gave a shaky smile in return.
“Okay then, tell you what? How about we just chalk this up to feelings of the moment and finish our picnic?” he asked, eyes dancing merrily at her.
“Deal,” she quickly agreed. “And you can tell me all about your childhood. I’ve wondered about you, you know?”
So just like that, the tension in the air dissipated. They were back to their chummy selves and Ari felt an emotion well up inside her for this man who made things easy for her. With delight, she listened as he filled her in about his youth. She soon found out that he had been a daredevil as much as she had been, perhaps, even more. He had also grown up on a farm and left when his parents died in a vehicular crash. She was surprised when he told her he had gone to college too.
“You seem surprised,” he observed.
“Yes,” she said sheepishly. “Well, you can’t blame me. You say ain’t and ma’am real cowboy-like.”
He didn’t take offense, instead he laughed at her poor mimic of his drawl.
“Why did you decide to become a ranch hand, Logan?” she asked him seriously. “You could be anything you wanted to be; why a ranch hand?”
His look also turned serious and he stared into her face for the longest time. “That is another story for another day. Remind me to tell you when we find another time out like this again.”
Ari sensed a real story behind the answer to her question, but wisely, she decided not to pry. She remembered that day at the stream when he found her. He’d asked for her name and she’d all but told him to mind his own damned business even though he had been trying to help her.
She could as well do the same for him.