Chapter 5 - Lying to Myself
My body was covered with sweat as I kicked off the sheets. James had invaded my goddamn dreams. Motherfucker had gotten into my head last night with his smug bullshit.
The brown ’70s alarm clock on the nightstand read eight. The drapes were closed and blocking out the sunlight, but the illumination of the television made James glow like an angel. Not an angel sent by God, but a fallen one put on Earth to torture me. The numbness in my arm had woken me from the wet dream I’d been having. Once again, I’d been denied the orgasm I needed and wanted.
The blankets had shifted as he slept. One leg rested on top, the other still underneath and hiding. I sat up, placing my back against the headboard, and took in his wicked beauty.
He was exactly how I liked him best—silent.
I’d never had the chance to really look at him. I couldn’t bring myself to give him the satisfaction of drinking him in. He towered over me. He was wide too, more than twice my width, and he easily overshadowed me. Not only was he bigger than I was, he was cockier too.
He looked like a giant in the tiny-ass bed. The man needed a California king to look like a normal-sized person. His feet touched the end and almost hung off as his head rested just below the headboard. Even when he was sleeping, when his muscles should be the most relaxed, everything was taut and hard.
His washboard abs looked like a product of Photoshop, and flexed with his breathing. His black hair was longer than the last time I’d seen him. It lay across his forehead in a wild mess, touching his eyebrows. His lips twitched slightly, and I ached to touch them. They were full and made to be kissed. It was a shame they usually spouted such smug shit.
I admired his tattoos, which flowed down his shoulder and ran up his ribcage. He must’ve spent hours in the chair. It wasn’t colorful artwork—all of it was black with gray shading. Waves stretched across his side, reaching from his hip to just under his armpits. Riding the waves were koi fish and Japanese-inspired flowers. His shoulder piece was as unique as the other. The claws of the dragon touched his pec, ran down his shoulder, and ended a couple of inches above his elbow.
Each one of my brothers had a dragon tattoo, and even I had one on my ribcage. It was a family thing—a symbol of our togetherness and all that bullshit. I’d just thought it was a kick-ass tattoo.
The fact that James had a dragon tattoo could enter him into the Gallo brotherhood without needing extra ink. I hoped he never discovered that simple fact. He’d probably go off about how we had been made for each other. Yada, yada. The man probably thought he was God’s gift to women.
“Like what you see?” his deep-sleep voice asked.
I closed my eyes, knowing that I’d been caught, and sighed. “Just looking at your ink and nothing more.”
“Sleep well?” He rubbed his eyes and yawned.
I jiggled the cuffs in the air. “How do you think I slept?” I growled.
“Stiff?” he asked, a playful smile spreading across his lips.
“Sounds like your problem, not mine.” I laughed, but inside, I was secretly dying.
We had been so close to having sex last night. What had started out as a plan to get him to let me go had turned into something more. The memories from Joey’s wedding night came flooding back, and I wanted more. I’d rather him think it had all been just an act. That was preferable to admitting that I wanted him.
“Can you take these off now? I have to pee.”
James stood, stretching his muscles and showing off his body. The man had no shame. I didn’t either. He grabbed the key off the desk near the door and sat on the bed, staring at me.
“What?” I snapped, annoyed and over the entire situation.
“I like you like this.” He smiled, rubbing his chin as he ran his finger across his lips.
“Well, you better memorize it, because you’ll never see me like this again,” I muttered, chewing the inside of my cheek.
“I bet I will, Izzy. You can’t resist me forever.”
“I didn’t know you were trying, Jimmy.”
Starting at my wrist, he lightly ran his fingers down my arm and traced a path to my chin. He stroked my cheek and stared into my eyes. “I’m telling you now. I love a good chase and a worthy adversary. You. Will. Be. Mine,” he said calmly, swiping his thumb across my bottom lip.
I swallowed hard, trying to get the lump that had formed in my throat to disappear. “I don’t go for the caveman shit,” I insisted, trying not to let him hear the delight his words had caused me.
“You do. You just won’t admit it.” He leaned forward, kissing the corner of my mouth.
I closed my eyes, savoring the scent of him. He smelled amazing. The light hint of musk and leftover cologne invaded my senses.
I turned my face and said, “I have to pee or I’ll do it right here.”
“You always have an excuse. Keep running, but I’ll get you in the end.”
What a cocky-ass motherfucker. I’d grown up with cocky. I knew it well. My ability to sniff it out had been honed since I was a child. I’d spent years trying to avoid it. It wasn’t that I wanted a pussy; I just didn’t want someone who felt like they owned me. No one told me what to do. I was Izzy Gallo. Slave to no one and master of my destiny.
I glared at him, about ready to start shifting in the bed from having to go and the effect James was having on me. “Please let me up,” I said, playing the sweet card.
“Do your business and then let’s hit it. I want to get you home as soon as possible so I can get back to Thomas,” he replied as he reached for the cuff. Holding my wrist, he worked the key in the lock, freeing me.
After pulling my wrist down, I rubbed it, soothing the spot the metal had rubbed against all night. “Thomas should be your priority right now,” I said as I rolled off the other side of the bed and away from him. “Not me.”
“I’m a multi-tasker.” He laughed. “Plus, your sweet ass is the one in front of me, so you take the top spot.”
As I walked by the bed, he reached out quickly and swatted my ass. I jumped, turning to face him, and glared. “What the fuck was that for?”
“I couldn’t help smacking that beautiful ass. Next time I do it, I’m going to be buried inside you and you’ll be begging me for more.”
I grabbed my clothes off the floor near his feet and stood, leaning into his space. “You’ll be the one begging, Jimmy. You bet your tight, hard ass on that one.”
The corner of his mouth turned up and his emerald-green eyes sparkled. They were an amazing shade of green. A picture would never capture their beauty and the depth of color. I needed to stop thinking of how beautiful he was and stick to my guns. James would not get what he wanted from this girl.
“Doll, I’m flattered you noticed my tight, hard ass.” He laughed, grabbing my face quickly and planting a kiss on my lips.
I felt the spark, just like the one I’d felt the first night he kissed me in the elevator. We had electricity—enough that we could probably light up a small town for a year—but no spark was worth dealing with his smug ass every day.
Pushing him away, I smacked him. “Don’t ever do that unless I want it.”
“Oh, you did,” he said, shaking his head and breaking out into laughter.
I placed my open palm against his head, pushing him backward. “Clearly we need to go over when no means no.”
I could hear his laughter as I walked toward the tiny bathroom. After closing the door, I tossed my clothes to the floor and leaned against the cool wooden surface. Sealing my eyes shut, I rested my hands on the door, and breathed.
James had my number. I was so totally fucked. I didn’t know if I should be happy or totally pissed off. I liked the idea of the chase. Fuck, it could be fun as hell, but knowing what it meant if I were to be captured did not make me overly excited. I loved a good sparring partner as much as the next person, but James was an entirely different animal. He wasn’t a pushover, an easy victim. No, he was the worst kind of all—a clear-cut victor and an opponent I couldn’t beat.
I had to channel my inner Tyson. The man had known that Holyfield would kick his ass and he wouldn’t win with his fists alone. He’d resorted to biting the dude’s ear off to not show his weakness. I’d be like Mike. Play dirty or lose it all.
A small knock made me jump. “What?” I yelled as I slowly peeled myself off the door.
“Just wanted to make sure you didn’t slip out on me. I didn’t hear any activity.”
Where the hell would I have gone? There wasn’t even a window in this craptasic bathroom. “I’m almost done,” I sang, hovering over the toilet.
I heard his footsteps as he walked away, giving me privacy. It had never felt so good to go to the bathroom. Shivers racked my body from having held it so long. Afterward, I threw on my clothes and washed my face. What I wouldn’t have done for some makeup and a toothbrush. The motel had been kind enough to supply not only soap, but also a small bottle of mouthwash. I cracked open the top, taking a mouthful and swishing it around. Using my finger, I scrubbed my gums and teeth before spitting it out. I wasn’t high maintenance, but this was a little beyond my comfort zone.
As I opened the door, my eyes took in James—fully naked and leaning against the wall.
“Have you no shame, man?” I asked as my eyes traveled up his body and stopped on his face.
My face felt flushed and my belly dropped. I wanted to jump on him, wrap my legs around his hard body, and rub my pussy against him. I hated him. His devilish grin, his sparkling eyes, and his beautiful face pissed me off. The man played games and played them well.
“What’s to be ashamed of? I saw you staring last night. I thought I’d give you one last look before I got dressed.”
“You’re obviously delusional.” I glared at him and started to walk past him.
He grabbed my wrist, pulling me back. “Stay right here.”
“Why?” I asked, looking down at his grip on me.
“I don’t trust you not to bolt. You stay right outside this door or I can handcuff you again. I prefer the second option, but I leave it entirely in your hands.”
“I’m not going anywhere. Just do what you need to do so I can get the hell away from you.” I tore my wrist from his hand and sneered.
“You’re never getting away from me, Izzy. Right here.” He pointed to the spot outside the bathroom, close enough that he could keep his eye on me while he was inside.
I saluted him, feeling the need to be a smartass, as he stalked into the bathroom and left the door ajar. “Where’s my phone?” I asked. It wasn’t in my pants pocket where I’d left it.
“Nightstand.”
“Can I grab it, master?” I asked.
I heard him suck in a breath, pausing a moment before answering. “You don’t know what those words do to me, and yes, you may.”
I rolled my eyes just for the sheer satisfaction, because there was no one else to see me do it, and walked toward the nightstand. As I grabbed my phone, something on the floor caught my eye. Sticking out from under the bed skirt was my black lace G-string. Unable to help myself, I picked it up and stuffed it in his bag next to the door.
“Where are you?” he yelled from the bathroom.
“I’m coming!” I yelled back as I headed toward my assigned spot.
Jesus, the man was a control freak.
“Mmm, I like the sound of that,” he said as he walked out of with a smile.
“Get dressed already.” I sat on the bed, crossing my legs, and enjoyed the increased pressure on my core. Why couldn’t he have dressed while I’d been in the bathroom? “Or I’ll leave without you.” I wouldn’t, but he didn’t need to know. I didn’t even know where the fuck we were to have someone to pick me up.
“Keep your panties on. I’ll be ready in two seconds.” He grabbed his clothes, pulling on his jeans first, tucking his dick inside, and then zipping them. His t-shirt he slowly pulled over his head, thinking he was torturing me.
I didn’t stare at him, but I watched him out of the corner of my eye as I pretended to check my phone. The only messages I’d received overnight were from Flash. He seemed to be in a panic.
“Who ya texting?” James asked as he looked over my shoulder, catching me off guard.
“Flash is worried.”
“Fuck Flash. Put that phone down.” He grabbed my hand, plucking the phone from my grip.
“He’s my friend,” I said, glaring at him.
“He sold you out and left you at the hands of the MC. That’s no friend I ever want.”
“You don’t know him.”
“I know enough about him. Do not respond to him. If you never listen to me again, Izzy, please do on this one thing.” He ran his fingers through his hair, taming the strands that had wandered when he had put on his shirt.
“I know he’s a pussy. Trust me. I’m pissed the fuck off at him, but I want to tell him that I’m fine.”
“You wait to do that shit when I have you on the other coast and in the protection of your family.”
“You worry too much,” I argued, grabbing the phone and pushing it in my back pocket.
“You don’t worry enough.” He lifted his bag, touching the small of my back as he opened the door. “Let’s go.”
I squinted when the bright Florida sun hit my face as we walked out of the dank motel room. I hooded my eyes and looked around. We were in the middle of nowhere and far from home.
“This is going to be a long-ass ride.”
“You make it sound like a bad thing,” he said as he walked to his bike, grabbed the helmet, and held it out to me.
I approached, ripping it from his grasp. “Three hours on the back of your bike doesn’t sound like a joyride.”
“You say the word and I’ll pull over and give you something to smile about,” he murmured as he touched my cheek.
With my free hand, I batted his away from my face and put the helmet on, cinching the straps tight. “In your dreams,” I huffed out, standing next to the sleek Harley V-Rod Muscle bike. I’d spent enough time around boys with their toys to know my Harleys. It wasn’t traditional, but it matched his personality perfectly—strong, sexy, and loud.
“It’ll be my reality. Just you wait, beautiful.” He climbed on, twisting his body before patting the back seat.
I stared at the sky, closing my eyes and making a silent plea to put distance between us. Why had I fucked his brains out the night we met?
Holding his shoulder, I adjusted myself. Wrapping my arms around his torso, I smashed my tits against his back and smiled. I’d make the ride just as uncomfortable for him as he always made me. I’d invented games.