Anger drums in my chest watching the dust her truck kicks up as she drives away. I can’t believe she’d write off my concerns that easily. Sam of all people knows how much my mother means to me.

I close the distance between myself and the house, debating what I should say to Mom. I love my mother with everything I am but our relationship is rocky at best but that’s not her fault. When I left, I separated myself from everyone I cared about. I was a volcano erupting, permanently torching everyone in my path.

Once I’m inside, I slowly trail to the kitchen where I find Mom sitting in the same chair, staring at the wall. I don’t need to know every second of her life to know something’s not right.

“Tell me what’s going on?”

She blinks several times, processing the fact that I’ve asked her a question. “Nothing, sweetheart. The doctor wants to do the same test he did a few months ago. He’s just bored. He couldn’t find anything wrong with me so he grasping at straws.”

Sam’s a nurse and she obviously agrees with the doctor, which means the test must be important. “Then let’s prove to everyone you’re perfectly fine. Call your doctor and tell him to schedule the test for tomorrow; I’ll drive you.”

She looks down at her hands. “Is this how it’s going to be now that you’re back? You and Sam are going to team up on me?”

I remember the day I brought Sam home to meet Mom. They instantly liked each other but things have changed. Their relationship changed; they’ve formed a bond I’ve yet to understand. I don’t want to do anything to come between them because my time in Jasper is limited at best and selfishly, I’ll take comfort knowing Mom has someone watching out for her.

“No one is teaming up on you. I love you; I just want to know everything’s fine.”

She stands up, looking years older than she did earlier today. “I’m beat. I think I’m going to take a nap, then I’ll start dinner.”

“Okay.” I wait until her bedroom door clicks shut, then I grab my keys off the counter. She can avoid me all she wants but I have questions and Samantha Harris appears to have the answers.

I was fuming when my VA doctor told me I couldn’t drive while my arm is in a sling but now that I’m behind the wheel, I can see where he’s coming from because it’s harder than fuck to turn the wheel with only one hand. Not to mention, I lied earlier to Sam; my arm fucking hurts. The pills my doctor prescribed leave me feeling drowsy, almost lethargic. Like I’m living in a cloud, my sense of control is nowhere to be found. And I live for control, it’s the only discipline left in my life.

Pulling up to the old Harris’ farmhouse, I smile. Nothing has changed. If it weren’t for the fact that Edward Harris lives here, I’d almost feel like I’m home. Sam’s dad worked a lot. When we were kids and wanting time alone, we always came here. Many nights when I was overseas, I’d close my eyes and I’d return to Sam’s bedroom. I’d have her tight in my arms, the only place I ever felt peace, but that’s no longer the case.

I carefully slide out of the truck and walk up to the front door. I knock a few times before taking a step back. When the door opens, my breath catches in my throat.

“Can I help you?”

A miniature version of Sam is standing before me. A young girl with long black hair and hazel eyes, the same girl I’ve pictured in my head when life was at it’s worst.

“I was… I’m… I’m here to see Sam?” I mumble, my eyes continuing to take in the girl before me. Her eyes light up and when she smiles, I swear it feels like someone punches me in the gut. My legs suddenly feel weak, forcing me to lean against the porch railing.

“Who’s at the door?” Valerie, Sam’s best friend appears next to the girl. “Oh it’s you. I heard you were back in town.”

My mouth is too dry to form words, but I ignore Valerie, my gaze never leaving the girl.

“Sam’s not here so you can get lost.”

“Aunt Val, don’t be rude.”

“Okay, fine. Sam’s not here so you can kindly leave.”

I glance at Val to find a smirk on her face while a thousand questions travel through my head, starting with the fact that this girl looks old enough to be mine.

Val shakes her head. “She’s tall for her age but she’s only nine.”

Clearly, I did little to mask where my mind was heading. “I thought maybe…”

“Oh, I know what you thought. You can’t imagine Sam’s life moving on after you dumped her like a bad habit but I can assure you, it did.”

Val turns to the girl. “Katie, why don’t you go check on our cookies?”

The girl—Katie—smiles again and I swear something inside of me moves.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Katie slowly steps away from the door but not without looking over her shoulder one last time. Questions, probably like the ones dancing in my head, shine from her bright eyes.

“You need to stay away from Sam and Katie, do you hear me?” Val hisses the second Katie is out of sight.

“I came here to talk to Sam about my mom. I didn’t even know…” I rub my good hand over my face. “I didn’t even know she had a daughter.”

A daughter… Sam has a fucking kid.

A kid that’s not mine.

Maybe she married after all.

Val sighs. “Sam’s not going to tell you anything about Margie. That woman is like a mother to her and a grandmother to Katie. If Margie doesn’t want you to know what’s going on with her, then so be it.”

My mind flashes to another night, standing in almost this exact same spot, only that night it wasn’t Val putting me in my place, it was Edward Harris. I was a loser that was going to drag his only child down and he wasn’t about to sit by and allow me to ruin her life… and he was right.

“I’ll leave.” A sadness washes over me; only this time when I walk out to my truck, I promise I won’t destroy the lives of everyone I love.