CHAPTER 25
Kate hadn’t let Antonio leave her side since he’d come in her hospital room looking for Ruggero. She’d asked him two questions: How was Enrico? And why had he called him Don Lucchesi? He’d answered the first, and pretended he hadn’t heard the second. So she’d asked again. Twice more. He’d looked increasingly uncomfortable with each repetition. So she asked a fourth time.
This time he got up and paced over to the open door, poking his head out and looking down the hall. Then he came back in. This is it. He’s going to tell me.
Instead he sat down in the chair across from her bed and rubbed his hands over his face. He looked at the floor tiles and ignored her.
“Answer me, Antonio. Why did you call him Don Lucchesi?”
Two spots of color rose in his cheeks, but he continued to stare at the floor.
“Why, Antonio?”
Finally he met her eyes. “I cannot say.”
“Yes, you can.”
“I cannot.”
She sighed, letting her eyes fill with tears. Maybe that would work on him. It was easy to summon the tears; she didn’t have to think about anything in particular. She was so angry and frustrated. And worried. And happy about the baby. And terrified at the same time. It wasn’t just her life in jeopardy anymore. Now she had two people to worry about. Two people to keep safe from Carlo Andretti. How the hell was she going to do that?
“Signora, per favore, do not cry.” Antonio brought her a box of tissues, holding it out to her awkwardly, his face turned away from her.
“Look at me. Look me in the eyes and tell me why.”
“Signora, I cannot say.”
A knock on the door broke their gaze. A nurse wheeled Enrico in, followed by Dottor Beltrami and Ruggero. She looked Enrico over, glad his color had returned, though he was hunched uncomfortably in the chair. But she didn’t want to see him. And she certainly didn’t want to talk to him. Enrico looked at everyone around them. “Please leave us.”
“That’s not necessary,” Kate said.
“It is.” Enrico glared at the others. “Per favore, now. And close the door behind you.” Antonio was the first to start edging toward the hall, then the rest followed suit. The room was clear a few seconds later.
Kate wiped her tears away with a tissue. She didn’t want to appear weak for this conversation. “I wish you’d leave me alone.”
“I had to see you.”
“You’ve seen me. I’m fine. Now go.”
He leaned forward in the chair, wincing. “Kate, Dottor Beltrami told me about the child.”
She flushed with heat. “I asked him not to!”
“Why?”
She averted her eyes from his. “You know why.”
“Because of who I am.”
She looked at him then. “Yes.” She held his eyes, waiting for more. When he didn’t respond, she added, “You can’t even say it, can you?”
He sighed and stared at his hands. “I am the capo of the Lucchesi cosca. There, I have said it.” He raised his eyes and smirked after a moment. “You would not believe how many people in law enforcement have wanted to hear that.”
She took a deep breath. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Two reasons. One, you would not have trusted me if you had known. And two, that knowledge is dangerous. If I told you and you rejected me, I would have to silence you.”
“What a nice way of putting it!” She waited a beat and then said, “So you’re telling me now. Does that mean my choice is whether you or Carlo kills me?”
“Kate, I would never—”
“You just said you would ‘silence’ me.”
“But I cannot. That is my dilemma. I cannot do it. And I do not want you with me because you have no choice. Nor do I want to leave you at Carlo’s mercy.” He bit his lip. “And I do not want our child to grow up without knowing me.” He paused a moment, his voice hoarsening. “I already have one child I did not get to raise. I do not want that to happen again.”
Kate’s eyes widened. “You have a child?”
“A son. He is twenty-seven and lives in England. He was conceived while I was engaged to Antonella. I was seventeen. I was infatuated with an English girl, Veronica, and I did not want to marry a girl I had not chosen. I have regretted my behavior ever since.” He looked at her. “I never told Toni. She already hurt so badly over not being able to have a child.”
“Wow.” Kate was silent for a moment. “You have a son only two years younger than me?”
“Does that bother you?”
“A bit. It’s been easy to forget our age difference.”
“I have a past, Kate.”
She was silent for a moment, then she said, “So, do you see him?”
Enrico shook his head. “I have not seen him since he was eight. Well, I have not seen him up close. I have spied on him from afar a few times. He hates me.”
“Why?”
“It is a long story.”
“We don’t have anywhere to be.”
Enrico sighed. “He thinks it is my fault his mother killed herself.”
“Is it your fault?”
He fiddled with the ties on his hospital robe. “Of course not. But sometimes I blame myself, for not seeing the signs. For not treating her better all those years ago. I should have told Veronica I was engaged. I should not have let her believe I was free.”
Kate let out a sound of disgust and lay back against the pillows. “You are one fine piece of work, Enrico.”
“What does that mean?”
She held his eyes with hers. “First this girl in England, and then your secretary. And now me. And your wife too. You lied to us all.” Her anger rose, building into a flash of heat that burned her face and throat. She poured acid into her voice. “Twice I asked you, twice you denied it. You lied right to my face. That is not how you treat someone you love.”
His eyes dropped to the tiles. “I cannot argue. I have no right to ask you to forgive me. But I will.”
The gall of him. “How long have all of you been laughing behind my back?”
“No one has been laughing at you. It was necessary. All of us keep secrets all the time. It has become second nature.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Frankly, I am weary of it.”
“I’m ‘weary’ of all the lying too. How could you have so little respect for me?”
“I do respect you. I was trying to keep you safe. If I had told you earlier, you would have run, and Carlo would have found you.”
It was true. But it didn’t change the fact of who he was. “How many people have you killed?”
To his credit, he didn’t hesitate. “Personally, a handful. I do not keep track of how many I have ordered to be killed.”
She sucked in a breath. How casually he said this. “Don’t you feel any remorse?”
He said nothing for a second, then he answered, his eyes on hers. “I kill only when it is deserved. Then there is nothing to feel guilty about.”
“It’s still murder.”
“God kills every day. Is that murder?”
“So now you’re God?” The balls on this man!
“No. But I do administer justice. I am sure that sometimes I am carrying out His will.”
“But you kill innocent people! How can that be God’s will?”
He leaned forward, his eyes intent on her, anger on his face. “Listen to me. I kill only those who deserve it. The innocent have nothing to fear from me.”
“How can that be true?”
“Do you think the people of this area, do you think the Italian state, would tolerate me long if I killed the innocent? If I did not enforce, yes, law and order, upon my own people, and upon other ’Ndranghetisti? I serve a purpose here. I am their major defense against the likes of Carlo Andretti and Cosa Nostra and the Russian mob, and any other criminals who would like to infiltrate Milan and the lake.”
If Enrico were gone, and Carlo Andretti were running the show…. Her stomach roiled.
“Can you forgive me?” he asked.
“I don’t know.” She looked down at her hands, twisting them in the light sheet covering her. What should she do? He was a Mafioso. And yet he was everything Carlo Andretti was not. Everything Vince had never been. Did that make him a good man?
“Then I am going to ask again. Do you forgive me? Everything I did, it was out of love. I wanted to give you a choice. I wanted you to come to me of your own free will. I wanted you with me because you love me. Not because you have to be.”
“And the child, I suppose, is part of it?”
“I do not want our baby to grow up without me.” He paused. “Or not to grow up at all.”
It took her a second to grasp what he meant. “I’m keeping the baby.”
He smiled, his body losing some of its tension. “I am glad of that at least.” He rolled the chair closer to the bed, his face tightening with pain as he did so. “Kate, I want you to be my wife. Will you marry me?”
Adrenaline rushed through her at the words. She’d been afraid of them. And now that she knew who he was, she was afraid of him. Of what he’d do if she said no. “I can’t answer that.”
“Why not?” He looked at her, puzzled.
“Because I don’t have a choice. It’s yes, or that’s it, isn’t it?”
“If you want to say no, say it. I will figure out how to get you out of the country. And somehow I will keep you safe from Andretti.”
“But won’t you be in trouble for letting me go?”
“Most likely I will lose my head over it. But I will not force you to marry me.”
Would he be saying that if she wasn’t pregnant? “So were you ever planning to tell me? Perhaps not until after I was your wife, after I was pregnant with your child?”
“That would not be right. Remember when we were in the car? Just before you were shot, I said there was something I owed you, so you could admit you love me. And that something was the truth. I planned to tell you that minute, so you could decide. And then only you and I would know you knew, and if you wanted to leave, you could.” He looked away from her. “I wish I had worked up the nerve to say it a few minutes earlier. I wish I had told you long ago. Then you would know you could trust me.”
She thought for a moment. “Does anyone else know about your son?”
“No. I have kept him secret to keep him safe.”
“So you trust me with this?”
He raised his eyes to hers. “I am trusting you with my life. You know who I am now.” Then he added, “And with my heart too. I love you so much it tears me apart to think of never seeing you again. But I will let you go, if that is what you want, and I will face whatever I have to as a result.” He reached out and took her hand, his warm fingers closing around hers. She kept her hand stiff at first, then finally relaxed it. She looked at him for a good long while, not saying anything. He trusted her; could she ever trust him?
“Kate?” he asked, his voice low, hushed. Waiting.
“If I wasn’t pregnant, would you still let me go?”
“Of course. I would never harm you. Never. I would take a bullet for you.”
She smiled. How many people could say that and literally mean it? “You did, actually, in the car. And with Vince, you almost did.”
“Do not forget he tried to stab me, too, back in your office.” He returned her smile.
He was always taking a risk for her; maybe it was time she did the same. “That’s how this all started.”
He shook his head. “Not exactly. I was in love with you for months before that. But I had to finish grieving for Toni first before I could see that.”
He’d been through so much; he’d taken so many chances since that fight with Vince in her office, and all of them for her. Her throat tightened up. “You really do love me, don’t you?” Kate fought to keep tears out of her eyes.
“God knows I do.” He picked up her hand and kissed her knuckles. “I would do anything for you.”
She blew out the breath she’d been holding. “Including lying, cheating, and stealing?” she teased.
“If you wish.” He looked at her closely, his expression serious. “Will you forgive me?”
“Will you ever lie to me again?”
“Never.”
“You swear it?”
“On the graves of those I loved, I swear it.”
She looked into his eyes, so serious with his love for her. “Then I forgive you.”
He kissed her hand again. “Will you do me the honor of being my wife?”
She searched his face. It was impossible to know how the baby was affecting things, impossible to know if he loved her as much as he loved Antonella. He’d broken the law, he’d killed. But he wasn’t a cruel man. And he did love her. He had proved it in the most meaningful way possible. He had risked his life for hers. He had entrusted her with his two most important secrets.
And despite all the armor she thought she’d clad herself in, Enrico Lucchesi had touched her heart. She thought back to that day by the pool, how he’d brought her the hat and the sunscreen, how he’d moved the umbrella around to keep her shaded while she slept. They were little things, and yet they were everything true and decent about this man. He looked out for her, in all ways, large and small. If that wasn’t true love, what was? Her eyes blurred with tears, and she let go of his hand.
Enrico stared up at Kate, unable to read her expression. What were the tears about? Was it going to be a no after all? He was starting to look away from her, when her hand sought his. “You know, Enrico, there’s something you haven’t asked me.”
“What?”
“You haven’t asked me if I love you. I’ve never said it.”
“I do not need to hear it.” He wasn’t going to press her for it; what did it matter? Someday perhaps, she would tell him what he already knew.
She let out a little huff of laughter. “I’d think your wife should be willing to tell you she loves you.”
Hope kindled in him, that miniature sun glowing in his chest again. “She should.”
“She does.” She pulled her hand from his and stroked his cheek. “I love you, Rico.”
Joy arced through him. He forgot his injuries, forgot the pain, forgot where they were. All his dreams had been answered at once. He’d told her who he was and she’d understood. She’d forgiven him. And best of all, she loved him. She truly did. What a comfort to hear those words, to have her confirm what he’d thought was true, but had known only in his heart. And had she just agreed to be his wife as well? It was too much at once. If he didn’t do something, his heart would burst out of his chest.
He struggled out of the wheelchair and slid his arms around her, careful of their IVs, embracing her as gently as he could. Her eyes glistened with tears as she looked up at him. “I love you,” she whispered again, and he murmured it back, a lightness, a warmth, he hadn’t known for a long time filling his chest. He was whole again. Leaning down, he kissed her. Kate, his Kate, hugged him back until they both started to wince, and then he had to sit down, his legs ready to collapse.
He looked up at her. He had to be sure. “So you will marry me?”
She laughed this time, her face glowing. “Yes. That was a yes.”
“You have made me the happiest man alive.” He grinned at her, so wide it almost hurt.
“Likewise.” She stroked his face again. “I’m glad you didn’t let me get away.”
He stared at her for a while, his heart pumping wildly with happiness. He was about to risk kissing her again when a hard rap at the door grabbed their attention. They both turned to the doorway.
It was Dom. Enrico saw Kate’s eyes dart from Dom to him and back, comparing them, seeing how much they looked alike. He introduced them.
“A pleasure,” Dom said to Kate, inclining his head slightly, then he addressed Enrico. “I sense I am interrupting something.”
“Kate has just agreed to be my wife.” Surprise appeared on Dom’s face, followed by something else that flitted away before he could give it a name.
“Congratulations.” He clapped Enrico lightly on the back. “And I hear there is a child on the way?”
Enrico shook his head in amusement. “Antonio, yes? That boy and his mouth. Yes, we will be having a child.”
“I am very happy for you. Getting two things you have wanted for a long time.”
“Grazie.” Enrico waited a beat. “So what brings you here?”
“I wanted to see how you were.” He gave a significant glance at Kate. “And I wanted to discuss the ambush.”
“It was Andretti.”
“Of course. But the question is, how did he know where you were?”
“I have no idea.”
“We need to speak in private.”
“She knows.”
Dom frowned. “We do not involve wives in the business.”
With a laugh, Enrico said, “Next to you, Antonella was my closest advisor. She had a gift.”
Dom switched to Italian, using a Calabrian dialect Kate wouldn’t be able to follow. “It’s one thing to tell her who you are. It’s another to directly involve her. How do you know she doesn’t work for Andretti?”
Enrico’s gut burned, and he leaned back in the wheelchair. He answered Dom in dialect. “This again? Her husband nearly raped and killed her. She was just shot by Andretti’s men. If she’s on Carlo’s payroll, he’s trying damn hard not to pay her.”
“It could be a trap.”
“Hardly.” Enrico switched back to English. “I have had enough of that subject. Do not mention it again.”
“Fine. But someone close to you is behind this.”
“I already know who it is.”
Dom’s brows shot up. “You do?”
“It must be Trucco.”
“Perhaps. But how would he know exactly where you were today? This had to be arranged by someone very close to you. I hate to say it, but we cannot rule out Antonio. Or Ruggero.”
“I trust Ruggero. He has men watching Trucco. And others.”
Dom froze, his eyes narrowing. “Who is under surveillance? Why have you not told me?”
“It is my life that is in danger, and there is a traitor in my midst. Therefore, I have chosen to trust only one person with the details.”
“I am your second in command.” Hurt shadowed Dom’s face.
“Surely you can see the necessity.”
Dom looked at the floor for a second, then back at Enrico. “I am just… surprised not to know, that is all.”
A cold hand gripped Enrico’s heart. Dom should be yelling at him right now, asking why he didn’t trust him. Dom should be cursing and pacing and throwing up his hands. Dom should be acting like Dom. But he wasn’t. Don Battista’s words came back to him: He is hardening his heart against you.
“We should know soon who it is. You will be the first to know after me.”
Dom nodded absently. He seemed to be lost in thought. Then he said, “I must go.” He stepped around to the other side of the bed and took Kate’s hand. “Signora, please allow me to welcome you to the family. You will bring my cousin much joy. He has longed for an heir, and now he will have one, at last.” He paused a moment. “He loved Antonella deeply, and you are lucky to be marrying such a devoted man. I do not think I love my wife half as much as Enrico loved his. I hope you will be happy becoming part of our family.”
Enrico’s jaw clenched. His devotion to Toni was the last thing Kate needed shoved in her face. Surely Dom knew that. He looked at Kate, but she seemed serene.
“Mille grazie, Domenico. I look forward to getting to know you and your family.”
“As do I.” He kissed her hand, then left without another word.
Once the door shut, Kate looked at Enrico. “He hates me, doesn’t he?”
So she had noticed Dom’s needling. “Why do you say that?”
“Whatever he said to you—I assume that was some dialect I don’t know—it was about me, wasn’t it?”
“Yes.” Enrico sighed. “He thinks you are working for Carlo.”
She laughed, then groaned and pressed a hand to her wound. “If I am, he’s the worst boss ever.”
“I know. I have pointed out the madness of what he is saying. He sees spies everywhere.”
“Antonio, I assume?”
He nodded. “He even suggested Ruggero.”
“Do you think he’s trying to divert your attention?”
“From what?”
“From himself.”
Enrico rubbed his chin. “The thought has crossed my mind.” But he kept pushing it away. He knew Dom was angry, but this much?
“I know he’s your cousin.” She squeezed his hand. “But sometimes the people who are closest to you are the ones who hate you the most.”
“I do not want to believe it.” And he wouldn’t. Not without proof.
Her voice was soft. “It takes a lot of love to breed strong hate.”
“Are you trying to console me with that?”
She smiled. “That wasn’t very good, was it?”
“Not at all.” He laughed.
“I’ll work on it.” She caressed his cheek.
“Please do not. I always want the truth from you. As much as it hurts.”
She stared at him, her gaze holding weight. “We’re on the same page then.”
“Always.” He sat back in the chair, feeling abruptly exhausted. His left side ached, and there was no way he could manage the chair and the IV on his own. “Antonio!” he called. He turned to Kate. “I need to rest, cara.”
“We’ve had a bit too much excitement these last few days, haven’t we?”
“A bit. But some of it was good, yes?” He was so happy he barely cared that someone wanted them dead. Kate was his, finally his. He’d sort through the rest later.
“Very, very good,” she said, smiling.
Kate watched Antonio come in and take Enrico away. When they were gone, her mind drifted back to what Domenico had said to her. It was a nice, pretty speech on the surface. But he was warning her, telling her that Enrico was marrying her for the baby, that he’d never love her the way he loved Antonella. And that last bit at the end, he was reminding her that she was part of all this now. Part of the family. Part of the Mafia.
And the only way out was in a pine box.